


First to Fall

by dontmindthedinosaur



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Human AU, I will add more tags if recommended, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Drugging, Implied/Referenced Emotional Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Mild Language, Mild Smut, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 96,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6589354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontmindthedinosaur/pseuds/dontmindthedinosaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot lives in a house with three and a half roommates, in a wild place called Beach City. She never thought she would belong anywhere, until Lapis Lazuli barged into her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

It was the beginning of fall, and the weather was noticeably different. Unlike most places, where it got colder in the fall season, it was the hottest and driest time of the year. And Peridot hated it. At least it was night now, cooling the air, though heat still bounced off the streets.

Walking down the sidewalk with her housemates, she was towards the back with one of the girls named Pearl. Though not the tallest of the group, she was definitely the thinnest. Against the street light, her pale skin glowed almost milky white. Her short, naturally ash blonde hair was filled with a pastel pink color. Tucked in her high-waisted shorts, she wore a teal, collared shirt with a rather 80’s looking star pattern.

Up ahead were Garnet and Amethyst, her other two roommates, and Jasper. A close cousin to Amethyst, Jasper regularly hung around their house, spending many nights on their pull out futon. She might as well be another roommate of theirs. Peridot did not know why Jasper would not just officially move in already. Jasper could room with Amethyst, since the platinum blonde girl had her own room. It would definitely make rent more affordable. And after checking her bank account online that morning, she had to save every penny.  

“Hurry up P!” Amethyst yelled. She, along with Garnet and Jasper, were farther ahead of them now.

“Which P?” Pearl yelled back, jokingly.

“The both of you! You don’t want us to miss out on all the fun tonight, do you?” She gave Jasper a look of excitement, which the taller woman returned. Garnet, who was slightly shorter than Jasper, gave a closed mouth grin.

Garnet had dark skin, black hair she wore in a fro, and was curvy. Her outfit was simple, consisting of a black tee shirt, letterman jacket, skinny jeans, and sneakers. Out of all her housemates, Peridot trusted and probably respected Garnet the most. She was a good person, and never lied or talked ill of anyone, unless if it was for a good reason.

The shortest one was Amethyst, at least Peridot liked to think so. In reality, they were about the same height. Her short counterpart wore a dark purple muscle tee, ripped skinny jeans, a black flat bill hat, and white shoes. Always getting herself into crazy situations, Amethyst was the most energetic, though Jasper would play along. Her taller cousin dressed a lot like her, shared a lot of the same facial features, and both bleached their hair platinum. However, the taller woman had a calmer side to her. But tonight, that side would not be showing.

Peridot was being taken, or more like dragged to a club. Not just any club, but one particularly for lesbians.

It was a week ago, which Peridot came out to her roommates. Before then, she had lived with the other girls for about half a year, and the paranoia got to her. She had never come out before to her family, heaven forbid, or anybody. Not knowing the proper way to spill the beans, she went out of her room and sat down on the sofa in the living room. All her roommates were there studying and socializing. It was the perfect opportunity, yet Peridot could feel her heart racing. Almost turning back in a panic, she convinced herself everything would be okay. She did not want to feel like she was hiding something any longer.

Sitting down, she quietly cleared her throat and her roommates looked up. “I have something I’ve want to tell you.”

“You’re secretly engaged P-dot?” Amethyst exclaimed, clearly making fun of her.

“No.”

“You’re pregnant?!”

“Geez, no!”

“Then what is it?”

“Let her speak Amethyst,” Pearl stopped her from making Peridot feel even more vexed and nervous. “Clearly this is important to her.”

“Yes, you can tell us what’s going on,” Garnet said simply with a smile. “We’re here for you.”

“Alright, um… uh… well, you see…” She was fumbling with her words now, and could barely formulate a sentence in her brain.

“Come on P! We’re not going to tear your head off!”

“I’m gay! Capeesh?”

There, she did it. She felt better, and everything was good. Or was it? Amethyst was silent, Garnet’s smile turned into a smirk, and Pearl was trying her best to not laugh, though extremely obvious. This made Peridot suddenly feel incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe her roommates would tease her and treat her differently, now that they knew. Or worse, not even talk to her again. They were the closest people in Peridot’s life, and she did not want to jeopardize their friendship, even though she already had. She needed to escape somewhere, anywhere.

“I’m sorry,” Peridot got up from her seat, and turned to head back to her room. There she could grab her keys and drive off somewhere, though she had no idea where. But before Peridot could leave the living room, Garnet caught her arm.

“Wait.”

“We aren’t mad with you Peridot,” Pearl said after, in a giggle.

“Yeah, actually now that you bring up the subject, we have something to tell you,” Amethyst added.

Peridot learned that afternoon, that Pearl laughed because she was also lesbian, and found it ironic. Garnet came out to her as pansexual in a short speech, clearly intended to make her feel better. And it did. When she asked Amethyst about herself, the loud-mouthed girl just shrugged with an “eh.”

The three girls met each other at school, while hanging together with mutual friends, and became close soon after. Once they realized how much they enjoyed each other’s company, they moved out together within the following year. Much of the time, roommate situations did not work out between friends, but for the three it fit them like a glove.

Now that they were aware of Peridot’s sexuality, as well as it being her first time sharing it with anybody, Amethyst suggested they go out and “celebrate.” In other words, go out and drink, like she enjoyed doing every other weekend.

“I don’t see why not, if you’re fine with it Peridot,” Pearl reflected. One notable thing about the thin woman, was that she was thoughtful. Peridot nodded.

“We should go this Saturday,” suggested Garnet.

“I hope this doesn’t turn out like last time,” Pearl glanced at Amethyst.

“Hey I apologized for that.”

“Actually clubbing and going to bars isn’t really my thing,” Peridot shared. Though Amethyst liked to while Garnet and Pearl went along with it, she was not much of a drinker, nor cared for dancing.

“Come on, it’ll be fun! I promise you won’t feel too crummy the next day!”

“If she doesn’t want to then we can find something else,” Pearl said matter-of-factly.

“Just this once, and you don’t ever have to go again,” the short girl tried convincing Peridot.

“I suppose one time wouldn’t hurt,” she found herself giving in.

“That’s the spirit!”

 _Spirit, nice pun._ It was just like Amethyst to get a kick out of bad jokes.

Now she did not know what she was getting herself into. Flashing her id to the bouncer along with the other girls, she went inside and checked their coats in.

_This was not a good idea._

Past the flashing lights, smoke, and blaring music, she could hardly hear anyone. Pearl said something to her, though nothing entered her ears besides the dance music. Whatever the other girl said to her, Peridot simply nodded in response, and followed the others.

Amethyst and Jasper led them all to the bar, where a rather beefy woman was pouring drinks at top speed. It was hard to navigate through the crowd to the counter, as the entire place was packed. Peridot felt cramped and small.

Not wanting to admit it to her friends, this was actually the first time she had been to a bar, despite being over twenty one. It was not the first time she had ever drank, her mother used to let her try sips of wine or beer at dinner. She had gone to small parties where friends were drinking, but nothing too crazy. This was new for her, and she did not know what to order.

Not wanting to look like a nerd, though she probably was anyway, she asked Amethyst, “So what’s good here?”

“Oh boy, here let me order for you. You’re really going to like this!”

Peridot did not like the sound of Amethyst’s voice when she said that. Praying to herself that the drink would not screw her over for the night, she looked at Garnet, who gave her a thumbs up.

In no time at all the drink was made somewhat sloppily, by the busy bartender. It was rather large and was an amber color. Peridot did not know what they put in it, but by the way it looked, she guessed rum or whiskey. Taking her first sip, she downed it as quickly as she could. The aftertaste burned her throat, and never had she wanted water more than now.

“This tab’s on me,” Peridot could make out Jasper say to the group.

As her friends were ordering their drinks, she saw the large bartender go to the side of the counter, where her coworkers were. Entering something into a computer, she turned to the side, and a new girl appeared behind the bar.

Taller than Peridot, she was as slim as herself. Her tan skin and short hair, which was a unique shade of blue, glowed different colors under the lights. There was something about her that Peridot could not put her finger on, but unexplainably she felt drawn to the stranger. It was rare for her to be seriously attracted to anyone, but this girl was stunning. And probably out of her league.

The girl caught Peridot staring at her, and grinned with a slight blush. _Shit she saw me._ Feeling like an idiot, Peridot snapped her head in the other direction. Why did she have to embarrass herself like this? Now because she turned away and rejected the girl’s smile, she made it worse.

Peeking back, the blue haired girl now focused on entering something in the computer. She waved at the large woman who was now leaving, and resumed her coworker’s duty of making drinks.

Wiping her glasses with her green shirt, Peridot regretted not wearing her contact lenses instead. Moving a blonde strand of hair from her face, she put them back on. She followed her friends as they went to the dance floor, leaving the cute bartender behind. Pearl wasn’t much of a dancer, so she went outside with Garnet to vape. She quit smoking about a year ago, ever since she moved in the house with her friends. Whenever she had the urge, which was not very often now, she would vape instead of reaching for a cigarette. Garnet did not smoke, though the habit did not bug her. Since dancing was not her thing, she went outside at the patio with her friends. It was packed outside, and every table was full. Fortunately for them, they managed to snag one as another group was leaving.

“You know that vaping is bad for you,” Garnet pointed out at the table.

“Oh really? I wasn’t aware at all,” Pearl said sarcastically. “It’s sure a lot better than cigarettes.”

Peridot was not too sure about that.

It seemed as if the whole world was spinning around her, and confirmed that she was a lightweight. Knowing the two girls dancing inside, they would try to make her drink even more. Never getting seriously wasted before, Peridot did not know how she was when she was completely drunk, and not too keen on finding out.

Outside people were smoking everywhere, some groups yelling at each other rowdily, and a few couples getting a little physical. Feeling completely out of place, Peridot wished she could leave, go back home, and curl up in her bed. She checked her watch. It was one am, and most places along the strip typically closed at four. Amethyst and Jasper would likely want to stay for the entire duration of time. They had only been there for half an hour so far, and she did not know if she would last.

Even though she had only moved to Beach City recently in the past few months, she already detested the city. It was along the coast, and one of the largest cities in the country. It was also known to be a “party” city, and in Peridot’s opinion, pretty scummy. The only reason she was there at all, was because the state college there had one of the best computer engineering programs in the nation. When she was applying to different universities, she selected only the top colleges, Beach City University being one of them. It was the only college which offered her a full ride, and she was not going to turn that down, with college being painfully expensive. Once she got the acceptance letter, she was blown away for the next few days. She had competed in programming competitions in her high school, and even got to nationals. It was the only thing her classmates from high school knew her as; a geek who was apparently a prodigy with computers. This put her in a weird position. People either thought she was a nerd, or treated her like she was too smart for them. Even though Peridot did not deny it, it left her isolated either way.

College was no different. She was so used to going about and doing things herself, she had not bothered making friends once she moved away. Though she did not mind being by herself, it did get kind of lonely when the other people on her dorm floor went out together. That was the culture of Beach City University, and was a notorious party school. Peridot wanted to avoid and remove herself from that stigma as much as possible, so she reserved herself from being too social. After two years of living in the dorm, she moved out into the current house she was living in, after noticing the ad in the classifieds. The rent would be cheap, the house reasonably close to the school, and hopefully would have a little more independence. Peridot had no idea she would actually become friends with her roommates. Friends. People she was actually somewhat close to. Even though her interests differed, she still found their company entertaining and enjoyable.

It was the first time in a long time she had people in her life she trusted.

“It’s time to have another!” Amethyst woke Peridot up from thought and shoved another drink in her face. It had an electric blue hue. “Kinda matches that cute bartender’s hair you were checking out,” her roommate raised an eyebrow.

“Was it that obvious?” Peridot moaned.

“Sorry bro, it kind of was,” Jasper butted in, now with them.

Peridot put her palm over her face, which Amethyst decided to grab. “Hey guys, we’re gonna steal P over here and going to hook her up with some girls to dance with.” She was clearly drunk at this point. Peridot could not tell if Jasper was as well. It was always harder to tell with the taller woman.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea-“

“Come on, you just came out and we need to find you a girlfriend,” she was slurring her words as she pulled Peridot along with her.

“Garnet? Pearl?” Peridot looked back in desperation.

But Pearl just giggled, and Garnet said, “Have fun Peridot.”

“No no no!” _Noooooooo._

This was awful, downright awful. Why was she going along with this, when she could just call a cab and go home? But then she was too out of it to probably dial the right number. She did not even have enough energy to stop Amethyst from buying her more drinks.

Before they knew it, they shoved her into some random girl who was more than happy to be dancing with Peridot. She was definitely drunk as well, because as soon as their bodies touched, she immediately made a sloppy attempt at making out with her.

At that moment, Peridot had enough.

She pushed the girl away, and exclaimed “I’m sorry!” The girl seemed unfazed by her action, and turned to dance with another. Her friends were too occupied dancing as well, and Peridot escaped out the door of the club. She could not take being in that atmosphere any longer.

Gasping for air outside, she felt it become easier to breathe, with the absence of smoke machines and cigarette smoke. Her ears were ringing due to the loud bass inside, and oddly it became harder to hear with it gone. She could not describe the sensation, but her head was spinning and needed to find somewhere to sit. Peridot was not going to shake this one off very fast. She did not know how many drinks she had that night, but it was more than four. Stumbling away from the place, she noticed a bench by a pizzeria a few stores away. Making a beeline for the bench, she felt like she was going to pass out. There was no way she would let that happen.

Sitting down, she leaned forward with both hands supporting her head. She used her thumbs to massage her forehead, in hopes it would help with the massive headache. It did not, so Peridot stopped and ran her fingers through her chin-length blonde hair. She loved her roommates but pushing her to drink and dance tonight was a bit much. Deciding to wait a little while before she would call a cab, she rested in the same sitting position. Everything was blurry and spinning, and forced her to close both eyes in order to just focus.

“Do you need some water?”

An unfamiliar voice. Peridot removed her hands and looked up. Standing over her was the blue haired bartender from the club, and she held out a bottled water.

“I’m on my half an hour break, and noticed you sitting here. Drinking this will make you feel better.”

“Mmm thanks,” was all Peridot could say at that moment. Besides being drunk, she was also incredibly embarrassed of the cute girl noticing her current state. This was sure a turn in events. Especially when the girl sat down right next to her. Peridot knew it was warm this time of year, but suddenly it became much warmer.

She needed to say something, anything, to make this girl think she was not a total dweeb. “I appreciate it,” she said, pretty sure she slurred her words. “I don’t normally drink or go out.”

“I figured, by the way you are out here away from your group, and when you were hesitant when they gave you drinks. You know, your friend in there probably had too much. If the rest of your friends are drinking heavily like that, it may be a good idea to call a taxi.”

The girl was giving her advice. “Ugh, the short one? She’s always like that.”

“Drunk?”

“No, I mean she’s a bit impulsive like that. We warned her before coming tonight.”

“You can’t always control other people’s actions. By the way, I’m Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.”

The way she said her own name sounded like the purest poetry. Or maybe it was the alcohol getting to her.

“My name’s Peridot.”

“Well it’s good to meet you Peridot.” Lapis had a pretty smile. “I realize it’s probably hard for you to be talking right now, and I need to go back on shift soon. I don’t normally do this, but can I get your number?”

To say Peridot was shocked was an understatement, and some of the water from the sip she took drooled out of her mouth. “I, um, sure, yes…” She said shakily, wiping her chin with her palm. Did she really just ask that?

“Alright, I’m ready,” a phone suddenly appeared in Lapis’ hands. Where did that come from? Peridot told the girl her number at a good pace, where she could clearly name out each digit. Was this really happening?

“Thanks,” Lapis replied. “I’ll text you sometime, and maybe we can go out. I have to go back, but we’ll hopefully talk later?”

“That sounds good,” Peridot smiled back, and watched as Lapis waved and left, before giving her a flirtatious look.

_Did that really just happen?_

The rest of that night was a blur to Peridot, though she successfully sent a coherent message to Garnet, letting the older woman know she was sitting outside. They waited another couple hours before rounding up Amethyst and her cousin to drive back home. By the time they left the club, Garnet and Pearl were both completely sober. On the contrary, the other two girls had blacked out in the back. Peridot on the other hand was awake feeling terribly sick. Only when she got home did she throw up in the bathroom toilet, while Pearl held back her hair in a motherly way. After Peridot felt a bit better, she noticed the thin girl had made her an herbal tea to help her sleep. Though she was different from her housemates in many ways, it was little gestures like that which Peridot valued, and respected them for. Finally able to curl up in her bed, she passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

 

* * *

 

 

Waking up the next morning, she checked her phone. It was already past noon. Had she really slept for that long?

Not only that, but there was an unread text from an unknown number in her inbox. Groggily, she could make out the name Lapis Lazuli, and “last night.”

That was the first thing Peridot remembered.

_It did actually happen._


	2. First Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot overthinks the whole situation.

Later that day, Peridot went to hang out with a friend from school. Perhaps friend was too strong of a word. Acquaintance felt much more appropriate, and it better described their relationship. Late into the previous semester, she met Lars in her Data Analysis class. Right off the bat, it was obvious the punk kid was a classic slacker, and did not want to be there. Whenever the professor forced to call on him, his voice always had a snotty tone, and never interacted with the other classmates. Every day his face had a static expression of complete boredom. Not the kind of character Peridot was drawn to.

 _If he doesn’t want to be here, why doesn’t he just get a job or go to another school, instead of waste all that money?_ She thought to herself.

But she had underestimated him too swiftly, as her apathetic classmate proved to be very bright, despite his demeanor. It was people like him, who ticked Peridot off. Because they never did any work, they were wasting their ability. So when the professor assigned a group project which counted as a fourth of her grade, luck ended up pooling her and Lars into the same three person group. It was even more surprising to see Lars actually engage in the project, whenever they were outside the class. Even though his overall character was annoying, he was not half as bad a person as Peridot originally thought.  

Now they were chilling at the beach like friends, good ones even, might do. Even when they were together he acted careless, though at times Lars was very intent on listening to Peridot. Oddly she respected his people skills, which was a big contradiction. That was what made Lars mysterious. He was often an extremely private person, which was also expressed though his skeptical and suspicious behavior. In a different way, Peridot could relate. Their mutual wariness of others was probably what brought them together in the first place. It was the reason why their personalities, though still very different, meshed so well.  

They laid out a few towels rather close to the edge where the tide rose and fell. It was one of the only spaces available since the whole shore was congested with people. They were at Beach City’s largest beach, which was positively crowded on any remotely warm day. It took them twenty, maybe thirty minutes to find parking around the neighborhood. Fortunately they found a free spot, and snagged it before another car could.

Now they both laid down on opposite sides of their camp, shielding their eyes from the blazing sun as they people watched. They had just gotten out of the ocean to cool off, and ended up swimming in the waves. It wiped Peridot out physically, not to mention literally, but afterwards she felt relaxed. Tranquil even.

They both wore black. Peridot had on black shorts and a black and forest green bikini top, while Lars only had on black swim trunks. Even his gauges, which he just increased sizes, were black.

Lars was pretty lanky and a little under six feet, putting him almost a foot taller than she. His red curly hair was shapes into a kind of Mohawk, and both sides of his head were buzzed. But the color complimented his darker skin tone. Everyone was darker than Peridot. She was the palest person she knew. And she forgot sunscreen, to her skin’s detriment. Later she would pay the price.

Whipping out her phone, she swiped the screen to unlock, and touched the icon to view messages. The second text conversation was from a number she had not even saved in her contacts. But she knew who it was from.

Lapis Lazuli, the cute bartender from last night, had reached out to her. Peridot could not remember what she said or how she acted, but was confident she made herself a fool in front of Lapis. The hangover earlier that morning was enough proof.  

Instead of texting her back, Peridot simply looked at the text and closed out of her inbox. She had no idea what to say back, since this was the first time a girl of interest initiated contact with her. It was the first time she had ever been asked out at all, and she was silently freaking out. Even though she hesitated to respond back, the text festered inside her head the whole day. She had to say something, but lacked the guts.

Lars was not too experienced with girls either, from what Peridot could gather. It was not like he could not find a date or get a girlfriend, he just showed no interest in the subject when it came to himself. But maybe he had some input on what to do.

Mustering some courage, Peridot finally spoke to him after an hour of relaxing in silence. “Hey Lars? I need your advice on something.”

“Advice on something? That’s very specific.”

_Smart aleck._

“Pertaining to girls,” Peridot continued.

“What about them? Are you gay?” It was a genuine question.

Peridot nodded. It was the second time now she had come out to anyone. “I _suppose_ you could say that. But that’s not the point, I need counsel on one girl in particular.”

“It’s one of your housemates, isn’t it,” he hypothesized, giving Peridot his full attention.

This made her laugh out loud. “No, definitely not!” Her roommates were very good looking, by most people’s standards. But Peridot felt no attraction towards them. She hardly felt attracted to anyone in general, but when she did it was always towards women. “Actually, it’s someone I met last night when I went out with my roommates.”

“I’m listening.”

“Well for starters, her name is Lapis Lazuli, and actually works at the club we went to as a bartender. She has blue hair and a nice tan, that’s as much as I can remember of her appearance anyway. When I was sitting down feeling pretty nauseous, she brought me a bottled water and asked for my number. Honestly it was kind of a blur. This morning I woke up to a text from her, but haven’t responded.”

“Why in the world not?” He stuck out both hands in a presenting manner.

“I’m too much of a pansy,” Peridot admitted.

“But she came to you. Not only that, but texted you first. If she just wanted to hook up with you, she would have tried something last night. Sounds like a keeper to me.”

“We’ve only met once,” Peridot said, unamused.

“Still. You wanted my opinion right? I think you should give her a chance. It’s not too late to text her back, though you might want to do that soon before she loses interest.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Well, you click on the message, type on the touch screen and-“

“I _mean_ I don’t know what to say.”

Lars groaned. “This isn’t my problem, you wanted my advice so I’m giving it to you. You don’t have anything to lose.”

That’s right. There was not anything that would be lost in sending a simple text message. It was not about what she would lose at all. Instead she would gain embarrassment and apprehension. There was this growing fear that Lapis would turn her down. Not having any experience in dating, maybe Lapis would see right through her, decide she was a total nerd, and drop her like a hot potato. Was that not what most people did, if they sensed anything subpar to their caliber? But Lapis did go out of her way to bring her a water, and that reoccurring small voice told Peridot that Lapis was neither shallow nor depthless. But she did not know. She did not know Lapis at all. A text back was all that was needed, for her to find out.

“Fine, fine, I’ll do it. But if she never texts me back, it’s your fault,” Peridot said back, not in an aggressive or accusing way.

“I don’t care who you blame, it’s your decision,” he put his hands behind his neck, supporting his head. “If it’s this stressful for you, then don’t do it. Really, you should relax,” Lars laid back and closed his eyes, knowing it would evoke an annoyed response from the short blonde. Why did she really hang out with him anyway?

She looked back at her phone, and stared down at the text. Reading those same words over and over started making no sense. What was wrong with her anyway? Most girls would be thrilled, excited to be asked out, but she was sick with nerves. But if she never responded, well, the weight of regret would pound her more than the nerves. Needing to get her head on straight, Peridot told herself she was overthinking this way too much, that she needed to make a decision. She was hardly indecisive, so why was now any different?

Making an audible sigh for Lars to crack open one eye lid, she typed away. The message was short but sweet.

 _Hey Lapis, it’s Peridot. I would love to go out sometime. When works for you?_  

With some hesitation, she pressed send. She threw the phone on the towel in front of her, like it was some sort of contagious disease. _There. It’s done, no going back._

Peridot half hoped Lapis would not respond, since so much time had passed. That she had simply waited too long to show any interest. That the blue haired bartender was with some attractive girl right now, sipping away margaritas at happy hour. To her consternation, in less than a couple minutes her phone buzzed against the towel, distinct enough to hear. Immediately Peridot snatched it and checked the screen.

_I’d love to! How does Wednesday work for you?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far! This is probably the only time I'll put it up, but if you would like to, follow me on tumblr (dontmindthedinosaur.tumblr.com). I also illustrate, and may do scenes from this fic in the future. :)


	3. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis is more intriguing than Peridot predicted.

Never in a million years did she envision herself here, right now, getting out of her car to go whale watching. Of all the things to do, Lapis Lazuli suggested that they take advantage of the good weather, and do something they both have never done before. It was always good weather in Beach City. Rarely was it not. The bartender messaged Peridot a list of random ideas with each one being a unique activity. It was clear to the blonde that Lapis likely was an adventurist, and enjoyed new things. Peridot could not say the same thing for herself, it depended on what it was. But all the ideas Lapis listed were tame, nothing too crazy or out there. Some of them seemed actually fun, though they were “out there.”

Locking the door to her brick red sedan car, she strolled towards the boardwalk near the dock, where tied up boats lined up one by one. On the other side was a long strip of buildings, mostly higher end restaurants, bars, and cheap souvenir stores. Nothing special. Walking at a steady pace, she did not want to appear like she was desperate to get there early. Peridot had a knack for getting to places right on the dot, whether she intended to or not. This time she calculated her walking speed, and the map application on her phone estimated her arrival time a few minutes late. Still, she did not want to look ridiculous by rushing.

Feeling a trickle of nervous sweat run down the side of her head, she wiped it away. Fortunately she put an extra layer of her deodorant on in the car, though she hardly ever perspired. Must be her skin type.

There it was, the whale watching building. The name of the business on the overhanging sign said “Whale Now.” Underneath pictured a corny illustration of a pink, cartoon whale with a smile and water spout. A five year old could have drawn it. Besides the bad pun for a business name, it was a reputable business according to a quick internet search. Four and a half stars was pretty good, by most business standards.

Peridot’s eyes went from the wooden sign, to the person standing out front. It was Lapis Lazuli, who had her eyes fixed on Peridot. Was it just her, or was her date’s hair much bluer than she remembered? To her bewilderment, Lapis was not cute. She was stunning. Her hair cut seemed to be the only edgy looking thing about her. She was dressed in a lacy navy blue crop top which reached down to her mid stomach. She carried a grey sweater, which could be the same length as her dark, high-waisted shorts. The sandals she wore were black and strappy, which showed off her pastel colored pedicure.

At first glance, Peridot’s stomach churned. She might as well prepare for her funeral now, write “death by nerves” on her epitaph. Fortunately for her, the blonde did not look like a slob, or wear anything that she would have embarrassed herself in.

Lapis smiled big at her, showing off her white teeth. She had a killer smile.

“Hey it’s good to see you again. You seem to have recovered from the weekend,” she poked, referencing the night they met.

“You too,” Peridot reflected her date’s demeanor as best she could. When she stuck out an arm to shake hands, Lapis went in for a quick hug instead. Why did she have to react formally in the first place? Peridot internally regretted doing so.

But Lapis just laughed, at what? “Let’s say we both check our tickets at the counter?”

 _Tickets?_ Was she supposed to buy a ticket or reserve a spot beforehand? Why did she have to mess this up too?

“I printed off our tickets back home, and have them right here,” Lapis was not only a mind reader, but she also paid for the date. Pulling out a sheet of paper from her messenger bag, she waved it once in the air.

_Oh._

After the man at the counter checked and confirmed their reservations, he directed them to go down to the end of the dock, to wait for the boat. There was already a crowd of maybe a dozen people there waiting.

Peridot tried her best at small talk. “So I assume you’re a fan of whales then?” Not a horrible question, but it reeked of obvious.

“They’re pretty cute, although I enjoy doing things around the ocean in general.”

“That makes the two of us. Fortunately, we live in Beach City,” it was probably the first time she ever said anything positive about the armpit of a city. But she was going to refrain from saying too many negative things. Today she was not going to blow it with Lapis.

“I’m honestly so excited for this. Thanks for meeting me here by the way, I know whale watching isn’t the most traditional of first dates,” she laughed to herself. Was Lapis actually nervous?

“Of course!” Peridot said more enthusiastically. “It was actually a great idea, though I wouldn’t have come up with that idea myself. I would have suggested grabbing a bite to eat, or a coffee or something. And that would have been much more boring.”

“At least it’s better than going to the movies, where you’d stare in front of a screen in silence for three hours.”

“Has that happened to you?”

“Once or twice, not the best date if I recall.”

The sound of a motor grew crecendoed, which drowned out their conversation. The whale watching boat arrived and parked by the dock along its side. It was white and embellished in the same bright pink as the whale from the logo. A short ramp was placed down for the people to walk off the vehicle. Peridot and Lapis waited until everyone had filed off, and the captain gave them the okay to walk on. As they stepped up, Peridot noticed a blonde, preppy, teenage boy, working alongside the captain and checking Lapis out. The blue haired girl was oblivious to this, but Peridot was very observant. What did she feel, jealous? No, rather she felt protective. Peridot found a spot to sit up near at the back, and let Lapis sit down closer to the water. This gesture bugged the boy she could tell, and caught his glance. He turned away faster than Peridot could. She would not let him make any moves, not on the first date.

The boat hummed beneath them, and started to take off. As it picked up speed, ocean spray misted them. Rather than annoying her, it felt refreshing on her skin. The seats were warm to the touch from the hot sun beaming down. But moving at that pace and with the breeze to help, it was at least fifteen degrees cooler. Lapis had the right idea to bring a sweater, though she just kept it across her lap.

Like glitter, the ocean water rippled under the blue sky. It divided underneath them, leaving a trail behind the boat. The wind went through Lapis’ hair gracefully, while Peridot’s hair got all over her face. Of all the times she carried a hair tie, she had to forget it at home.

Lapis laughed in good humor. “Looks like you’re having a bit of a problem there,” she dug around her bag and pulled out what Peridot forgot. “Here you go. Does your hair tie up?”

“It can now, though the pony tail looks like a little stub. Whenever I get it cut, I usually have to find some other method of keeping it from going berserk. Thanks by the way.”

_At least that worked out._

“So, uh, did you grow up around here?” Typical question, but it could easily lead to other subjects.

“All my life,” Lapis stated. “I was raised in the suburbs, and then moved downtown for college. Actually now that you mention it, I’m moving in the next few days to a new place. I’m transferring to Beach City University, so it makes more sense to live closer by, to avoid the two hour commute.”

“No way, that’s where I attend college right now,” this was all too convenient for Peridot.

“Really? That’s awesome! What are you studying?”

Peridot told her all about her major, and how she moved across the country to go to school in Beach City. Leaving out the part that she was given a full ride, she focused mainly on the classes, explaining the ones she found intriguing. After her spiel, she asked Lapis about what she was studying. Lapis was a psychology major, and completed her associate degree the previous semester. She knew ever since she was a little girl she wanted to console people. Her mother had caught her once talking to herself in the mirror, asking her reflection “how do you feel” and “what do you see,” as she held crayon drawings. Peridot found this extremely adorable.  

“Beach City U has a decent psychology program, which is much more than my community college offered. It will be nice to have a different change of pace, after I move near the school with my roommate.”

“Hey if you want some help moving, I only live a couple blocks away from the school,” Peridot volunteered out of the blue.

Lapis’ face shone, “That would be wonderful actually, if you have nothing going on.”

The blonde responded that she did not.

“That really would be so helpful. Anyway, you mentioned earlier that you’re from the other side of the country. How was the move? I can imagine it’s probably way different here, than back where you’re from.”

“That would be an understatement. Back at my home town, everyone is much more… out there? I don’t really know how to describe it. People here are much less outspoken… to themselves.  It was easy moving over here, even though I knew no one beforehand. But like you, I was ready for a change of pace. But mind you, it was not all fun and games. My mom almost tied a leash around my neck to prevent me from going, even though it was not her decision to decide.” Besides Garnet, Peridot never talked or mentioned details about her overbearing mother, or sheltered family life.

“Well I’m glad she didn’t, because if that was the case, we wouldn’t be here on this date,” the tan girl replied sweetly. Peridot caught a glimpse of the blond haired boy look over at the word “date.” Hopefully he would quit it with the looks. “She sounds pretty strict.”

“Yeah,” Peridot massaged the back of her head. “She definitely kept me in line,” the blonde emphasized the word “definitely,” letting loose a bit of her restrained cynicism. “As a kid, I was actually a bit intimidated by her.”

“By your mom? So you probably were not too close to her then,” Lapis trailed off, seeming a bit unsure about her assumption.

Thinking about it for a second, Peridot replied, “I guess, in a way we were.”

“Were?”

Uh oh, she let it slip. Why did she have to talk about her mom now? But she could not lie to Lapis. After all she was a psychology major. Couldn’t she see through these kind of things anyway? The best thing she could do now was be honest without saying too much, and change the subject to something else. Anything else.

“Yeah, there was sort of a falling out between us. But enough about me, what about your family?”

Lapis seemed to go along, not wanting to step over a boundary. “There’s not really much to say. My dad left when I was little. Family rumor had it, he moved to a whole other country to marry some other woman. Like him, the rest of his family forgot about me and my mom. My mom… has some health issues which came up right before I started college. Though she is financially able to continue treatment at the hospital and help me with school, I make enough at my job to be fully independent. It’s just a matter of paying off those damn student loans.” Not much to say? Peridot could see Lapis trying to make light of the whole situation, and tell she was holding back. However the blonde was not one to pry, especially when she had not disclosed her own personal life.

“I can relate to that,” the blue haired girl gave her a curious glance. Were her eyes always _that_ violet? “Having to support myself financially I mean,” she quickly added. “Though my work isn’t as glamorous as your bartending gig at a lesbian club.”

Though she was not trying to be sarcastic, Lapis laughed, clearly agreeing to whatever sarcasm that might have been in her voice. Peridot continued, “On the side, I’m a freelance programmer and usually go through contracting agencies. Although I have found work through colleagues, or at the hiring board on campus.”

“I may need to check that out, you should show me where it is sometime,” she sounded genuinely interested.

_Show me where it is sometime? Was there going to be a next time?_

They were interrupted by the intercom, which they had continued to talk over so far. The captain was telling the rest of the boat basic whale facts; migration patterns, anatomy and bone size, jokes about mating season, predictable information. But one of the passengers must have spotted the first whale, and when the captain announced this, a bit louder to gain everyone’s attention.

Fortunately for Peridot and Lapis, they were already at the back of the boat, closest to where the whale was sighted. All they had to do was turn around in their seat. But there was nothing. No fin, no spout, no whale in sight.

“I swear I did see one,” a voice on the other side of the boat said.

But at that moment, no more than a hundred feet away, a massive humpback whale breached from the water. It casted a long shadow which grew close to the boat, and most of its body was clearly visible. Peridot thought she could even make out a few barnacles on its skin. She had seen commercials for cameras and specials on those animal channels, where whales would breach out of the water. This however was nothing like that. It was much more tangible.

“Amazing,” whispered Lapis, clearly awestruck. Peridot definitely thought the same thing.

After that first whale revealed itself, several more humpbacks appeared, as well as a few pods of dolphins. There was even a baby bottlenose, which curiously swam closer to the boat than the rest.

“I’ve lived here all my life, and I’ve never seen a baby dolphin,” Lapis stated.

“Heh, me neither!”

This random date idea Lapis suggested originally, turned out to be a load of fun. Not only that, but the whole time, they maintained conversation which became more natural over time. Peridot did not actually remember the last time she had this much fun. This turned out to be a great idea. Why did she even consider not texting Lapis back in the first place? She would have missed out on the crystal blue ocean, the comfortable breeze, witnessing something that did not happen every day, and going out with a rather attractive girl. Not only was Lapis attractive physically, but she seemed to have a great, laid back personality, which instantly clicked with Peridot. At least that’s what she perceived up to now.

Then it sunk in, as Peridot made eye contact with Lapis. Her violet eyes glowed a deep blue against the light. The blonde gulped, doing her best not to trace her eyes down to her lips. She had only known this girl for, what, a couple hours maybe and she was this attracted to her? _Not yet Peridot, not yet,_ she told herself. _You need to restrain now._ Comparing her seemingly abstinent past to now, never before was she so attracted to anyone in her life. And she had no idea what the hell was going on with herself.


	4. Next Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Garnet have a little bonding time.

She was on a massive high after her date with Lapis. Everything seemed brighter, more vivid. A wave of euphoria washed over her, and Peridot could not help but to smile as she got out of her car. Had she ever felt this way before? Certainly not with any of her friends, though she could recall some memorable times. But this was different.

Lapis Lazuli and her bright smile had hypnotized her right there on the whale watching boat. The older girl, her age she found out, was both pretty and intelligent. A double whammy. Envisioning herself back on the boat, she imagined Lapis sitting right next to her, with her sweater covering both of their laps. Lapis’ leg barely brushing against her own. Peridot wanted to break the gap between them by holding hands, but restrained herself earlier. It was too early, and they had just met. How did she really know the blue haired girl truly liked her? She could have changed her mind after the end of the date, realizing how awkward Peridot was.

The drive home took a while, since traffic was heavier than usual. Usually to go thirty miles took a solid hour at least. The commute sure did suck, but it was worth it. While driving the blonde was resolute about not texting while driving, though she would use her phone’s GPS for directions when needed. Pulling her phone out from her back jeans pocket, she pushed the on button and the screen lit up. There was no new message from Lapis, though only forty minutes passed.

Was this normal? Should she be concerned? What was usually the protocol for communicating after a date?

An idea occurred to her that she should ask one of her roommates. Though asking Amethyst for this kind of advice was tempting, she could not help but play out scenarios where her roommate would relentlessly tease her. Pearl was much more serious and thoughtful, though like herself, she had never seen Pearl date anyone. Garnet was the last of her roommates, and somewhat stoic most of the time. Even so, she was a good listener, and counseled her other roommates. Garnet’s car was parked in their driveway, meaning she was home from work.  

This was really one of the first times Peridot asked Garnet for personal advice, besides asking for directions or where the best takeout restaurant was. She did not know why she had not before, but now was as a good of time as ever.

Walking inside, Peridot could see Garnet relaxing in the living room on their love seat, simply scrolling through her phone. Peridot assumed since she was not busy reading or watching TV, Garnet would be more willing to provide her attention.

The older girl was the first to speak. “Did you have a good time Peridot?” A smile on her face indicated she was in a good mood.

Not wanting to jump straight to the question, she answered, “Yeah, the date went surprisingly well, considering we did meet at a lesbian club,” a hint of irony crept into her voice. Before leaving, her roommates pulled out from Peridot that she was going on a date. Amethyst was the first to notice and point out the blonde’s nervousness, more prominent than average. Her roommate had a remarkable talent of fishing out information from her, mainly because she would become flustered from the teasing and constant prodding questions.

“That’s good to hear, since you were so excited about it.”

That threw Peridot off, catching her by surprise. It was not exactly excitement, but she was not going to change Garnets memory either.

Playing it casual, the blonde said coolly, “It was pretty fun, we had a good time. Hey, by the way, when do you suppose would be a good time to follow up on a date?” She plopped down on the futon.

Garnet brought her hand to her chin, using her closed palm and thumb to support it. Furrowing her forehead, she replied, “I’m not too sure. It seems like that depends with each person. One gal I know firmly believes in texting within the first couple hours after the date. But I personally wouldn’t go over a day without following up.

“Well, she hasn’t texted me since we left.”

“Like I said, everyone’s different. Give a little time and space, don’t think about it too much. And if you don’t hear from her by tonight, you can always follow up with her.” Maybe that was it, maybe Lapis was waiting for her to initiate first. But the blue haired girl seemed like the type to make the first move.

“How can I not think about it? It’s only been an hour or two,” Peridot said incredulously.

“Hmm how about this. Why don’t we go see a movie, or rent one from GreenBox? Now that I’m off of work and have no plans later, I have the rest of the day to relax.”

Peridot took Garnet up on her offer, and they went out to the movie theatre. It was in an especially run down part of Beach City, and unlit neon lights streamed the area. This obviously led to the red-light district part of town. Why was Garnet even bringing her here?

“I’m taking you to my favorite movie theatre, one I used to go to with my parents when I was a kid.” So that was it. The place had some sort of sentimental nostalgia to the taller woman.

They walked into the average sized theatre along the street, after purchasing their tickets. The inside of the place was unexpectedly clean. It even smelled new inside. On both walls, there hung a line posters, indicating which movies the place was showing. The carpet was red, with some vintage scribble pattern. Working the popcorn machine behind the counter, was a pudgy, blond college guy with short dreadlocks.

He turned around and noticed the two girls walk in, “Long time no see,” as if he were speaking to an old friend.

“It’s good to see you too Ronaldo.”

“What’s new and happening with you these days?”

“Not too much. The usual with work. The county has proposed and approved several renovations around Beach City, which means more hours and longer days,” Peridot could detect a sigh from the dark skinned girl’s voice.

“Hopefully this area is targeted to be revamped?” He sounded hopeful. No idea why, but she found his voice annoying.

“Unfortunately no. The approved projects include many street repairs, which will create more traffic. You don’t want that here, not right now.”

Peridot knew Garnet worked as a contract construction worker. Even though her jobs were always temporary, they always led to a new gig. She studied architecture and graduated before her, though not wanting to go into that particular field. “There are too many of them,” she stated. Peridot did not know if that was true.

Her reasoning for choosing her major was that it would help with the design aspect of construction, which admittedly she lacked. Really, she wanted to go into management within the building industry. After graduating, she obtained her workers license, and found her first job a couple weeks later.

The two of them exchanged a few more words, mostly small talk. After getting a small popcorn, Peridot and Garnet went inside theatre three where their movie was playing. A horror film. The commercials were already playing as they grabbed seats at the top row, and munched on popcorn. So far she was not able to forget about her date earlier that day. But hopefully once the movie started, she could focus her mind on something else entirely. Peridot was not a huge fan of scary movies, and rarely watched them unless she was with her roommates. Garnet and Amethyst seemed to like them, while Pearl would sometimes be freaked out by the more jumpy parts and close her eyes. During those moments, Peridot would always distract herself with something else until the part passed.

Lapis Lazuli told her earlier that she liked thrillers, which were different than horror or gore films. Recalling her all-time favorite movie, it was titled “The Monstrosity of the Deep,” a movie made ten years ago but considered a classic. She would not have expected her to be the type of person to be into them. Peridot agreed with her, as a default response. In her free time, she did not watch movies or TV. Rather, she was always working on her next work assignment. That usually absorbed much of her time outside of school. Now that school was nearing, she would have to drill into her work and finish everything, before she would be swamped with monotonous homework assignments.  And she would always choose to read a book rather than watch TV, but she now had an urge to check out Lapis’ favorite movie. Probably when she got back home and was in bed for the night.

The movie playing on the giant screen was not awful, but not the best movie known to man either. However, it did distract Peridot from her consistent worrying, and soon she was engrossed in the storyline. Even towards the end, she was somewhat jittery. Garnet next to her was totally still and fixated on the screen for the whole duration of the film, rarely moving.

Ultimately, she was just glad to be spending time with Garnet, though she would never say it to her face. It was a bit too embarrassing. But the shorter girl utterly and genuinely enjoyed her company. There were few friends she felt that way towards. She never felt as if she had to be anyone different or prove anything to the older woman. Garnet never expected her to either.

When the two arrived back home, Garnet pulled a glass bottle of beer from the fridge, offering Peridot one as well. She declined, suddenly feeling a bit sick, by the thought of their night out last weekend. They hung out in the living room for an hour more until Peridot had to complete some work. That was one of the beautiful factors about her work. It gave her some flexibility with which hours she worked.

Immediately after typing in a fifteen-word, memorized password, the login page on her laptop monitor lifted, and her desktop appeared. Her computer was built to process and work swiftly and efficiently, and held a whole terabyte of memory. She figured when purchasing it, she would use up at least a good chunk of that memory, and it may prove handy in the future.

Double clicking the open letter icon in the corner, her email popped up. Sixty new messages from that morning. It was mostly junk, with subject lines like “LOTTERY WINNER, CONTACT YOUR AGENT NOW” and “I found this picture of you??” She never gambled and rarely took pictures of herself, let alone share them with others. After deleting the spam, she sorted the messages which really mattered into their appropriate folders after highlighting and reading them over.

The first, and seemingly most important email was a follow up on her work progress.

Peridot replied, “Working on it right now, the material will be sent tonight.” Peridot refrained from using “I” in the sentence. Opening up a program she created herself, she ran the application and right away, information began to roll down the screen on its own. She continued to type for another good four hours until she obtained what she needed, and sent a short message to her client.

_It’s in the bag._

Ten minutes later, her phone buzzed after receiving a notification, and saw that the transfer was made into her payment platform account.

_That didn’t take too long._

Using a separate email account, and IP address, she sent over the information material to the client.

She stretched, then yawned. Garnet was asleep on the couch across from her, laying on her back with her phone resting on her chest. After today, she was sure to have no problem falling asleep.

Peridot put on a loose, black tank top, and her green and white alien head shorts which were vintage. During the whole time she was distracted working, she noticed two unread texts on her phone, as she hooked it up to its battery charger. Taking a wild guess to who it was, she opened up her messages which confirmed she was right.

One was a media attachment, the next one was text, both from Lapis Lazuli. The attachment was actually a picture Lapis took of them, with the sun making their faces glow, and the ocean blue and sparkling. They were both smiling. The message which followed said, “I had a great time today, thought you might like this picture as well.” She ended it with an open smile emoji.

Peridot smiled to herself, staring up at the screen while lying in bed. After a minute or two, she wrote back, “Love it! I had a great time as well, and we should go out again if you’re down.”

It took five minutes for Lapis to reply, “I would love to,” ending the sentence with a closed smile emoji.

Knowing well she should make the next move, she checked her calendar.

_How does Friday sound?_

A one worded response: _Wonderful._


	5. Reminder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis hang out late at night.

Things had gone simply wonderful that Wednesday, the weekend later, and the week after that. Peridot felt great. Really amazing, like on a high, though she had never experienced what it was like to be on drugs. But was this similar?

Her life was the same, but now felt totally different. There was more color. Particularly blue.

She and Lapis were hanging out at the nearby diner just a few miles away from the university. The place was open twenty four hours, which made it the optimal place to go if you were hungry late at night. She usually ordered from the value menu, which offered unlimited pancakes and hot chocolate for six dollars. It was really the best deal there. Lapis shared the same idea as the blonde, and they ended up splitting.

The place was empty, besides the drunk couple laughing in the corner, and the middle aged man working on his laptop a few booths over. The atmosphere was bland, as if the interior was decorated from the seventies or eighties. But it had a local feel, and felt homely to Peridot. It was her go-to spot if she was working late at night, and was itching to get away from the house.

The waiter recognized Peridot as she came in on a semi-regular basis. Not every night, more like once a week.

 So she was a night owl, big deal. As the shorter girl found out, Lapis was as well.

”But I also like to wake up early, so I guess I’m setting myself up for no sleep,” Lapis admitted. “Naps are how I survive these days from working graveyard shifts all the time.”

“While over here I sleep like a champ.”

Her violet eyes lit up mischievously. “While we’re on that topic…” Oh no, she was going to bring something up, probably something embarrassing she did. “You seemed to conveniently fall asleep on my shoulder while watching the movie at your place.” Over the weekend, all of Peridot’s roommates were away. Garnet was working late nights these days, while Pearl and Amethyst were with Jasper. Probably out at some bar for happy hour. Pearl worked as well, but how did Amethyst manage to afford going out all the time?

“I don’t remember doing such a thing,” she was caught in the act and crossed her arms.

“That’s because you were asleep,” Lapis teased, but then suddenly she seemed to have a thought. “Or maybe you weren’t asleep at all. Perhaps you’re trying to conceal the fact that you intentionally wanted to cuddle with me?”

The blue haired girl saw right through her façade. There was no way Peridot could get out of this one.

“Well, um, your shoulders did look comfy and I was sort of tired.”

“Knew it.” She flashed a giant grin.

Peridot was not going to let Lapis win that easily. “But that movie could have put anyone to sleep.”

“ _Lion 2 the Movie_? Nah. It’s too good.”

“It’s about a pink lion.”

“An _adorable_ pink lion! How is that a bad thing?” Lapis emphasized the word adorable.

“The whole plot of the movie involved the lion figuring out why it was born pink. That’s it.”

“But, but, the plot twist!”

Peridot sighed, “Maybe if I wasn’t asleep for it I would have agreed with you.” She could not argue against the cute face Lapis was making.

“Anyway, you were snoozing pretty cutely. There was no way I was going to wake you up anyhow,” Lapis flirted.

The short, blonde haired girl ran her hand through her hair, doing her best to withhold the blood rushing to her fair cheeks. She stammered, “You really think so?”

“Think you’re cute? Of course I do…” It was the first time Lapis expressed in words any attraction to her. Her voice became quiet and soft.

“I like you too.”

That seemed to catch Lapis’ full attention.

Peridot continued, “You’re fun, adventurous, kind, and not to mention, pretty. Besides all that, I admire you.” _Probably because I’m not any of those things_. _Sometimes it’s hard for my mind to wrap around how a girl like you could be interested in someone like me._

How did Lapis admit to liking Peridot in that way anyway? Aside from making a constant fool out of herself, there was much more to her that she did not know yet. The blonde girl spent nights lying awake in bed, playing out every scenario of when she would share with Lapis the details of her life. Not all of it was pretty. Lapis had no idea that Peridot preferred to be left alone, or the details of her former, rocky family life. She did not know what the blonde did outside of school, or about her peculiar roommates. There was much to Peridot that Lapis did not know yet, and she would find out eventually. If she stuck around long enough that is.

“I… thanks Peridot.” The blonde liked how Lapis said her name. “I’m just lucky to have noticed you that night.”

“Dying,” she finished the taller girl's sentence.

“You weren’t horribly drunk. Trust me, after working those nightshifts at the club, you see a whole lot worse. One time there was this older guy, probably just brushing thirty, who got shit head wasted and violent. Apparently he tried to get take a girl home with him, but she refused. Once he started harassing her, the bouncer had to drag him away and kick him out for good. Things like that happen more often than I would like. I wish straight guys would realize going to have a hard time picking up girls at a lesbian club.”

“I swear Lapis if that ever happens to you while you’re at work, call the police right away.”

“Don’t worry, I’m more than capable of knocking someone out,” she winked. “But if that ever occurred, which it hasn’t yet, you can be sure the bouncer I work with will take care of it. I won’t even have to lift a finger. My job is to make drinks, not play mom.”

This made Peridot chuckle.

“You know,” Lapis took a sip of her hot chocolate, “this place reminds me of a café my mom and I used to go to.” It was the first time she talked about her mother since their first date. Peridot had not enquired further out of sensitivity, and not wanting to step over that line. She knew how much she was dodging the discussion about her own family, and had a hunch it was the same for Lapis.

“I sort of miss it now. She can’t really go out in general, since she was taken to the hospital.”

Succumbing to her temptation, Peridot asked, “You don’t talk about her much. What’s she there for?”

Lapis hesitated. Peridot instantly regretted asking. “She… is dealing with many things. Our relationship was very up and down while growing up.”

“Oh,” what should she say now? “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. I don’t talk about it at all, so I admit it does feel strange saying all of this to you. Especially when we haven’t known each other for a very long time. But I feel like I can trust you.”

Lapis trusted her. This always upbeat, caring, gorgeous girl, who was most likely way out of her league, trusted her.

But could she trust herself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter chapter, but hopefully this is when it's going to start picking up.


	6. Meeting the Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot helps Lapis move into her new home, and they go over to Peridot's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, as much as I really want to go back and edit this, I don't have the energy to. Feedback would be super duper appreciated. :)

Boy, these boxes were heavy. What did she have in them, bricks? Peridot was over at Lapis’ new place, helping her officially move in. She reached up, and slammed the trunk door down. Leaning over, she picked up three stacked large boxes, supporting the massive weight with her knees.

“Need some help?” A recognizable, yet unseen voice was heard ahead. 

“No I’ve got it,” Peridot grunted. She stumbled a bit, almost loosing balance, but the side of the car caught her. It would probably be a good idea to work out more, she made a mental note.

“Here,” part of the weight was lifted from her arms, and the blonde felt relief. Lapis’ face was now peeking behind the heap she carried. “You’ve helped me out so much, especially when you didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” She had promised Lapis a week ago, that she would help her move. Lapis had already done part of the unpacking, like moving the furniture inside. But she had procrastinated with moving the rest of her boxes in, and officially organizing everything. Peridot went over there, intentionally waking up early, bringing coffee for the both of them. Ironically Lapis’ new place near Beach City University ended up being just a couple blocks down the street from Peridot’s. The odds in which it occurred seemed way too expedient. Considering the chance of that happening in a large place like Beach City, it almost seemed deliberate. However it could also be a sheer fluke. Maybe fate was on both of their sides. “What’s inside these boxes anyway? Do you like to collect dumbbells in your spare time?”

“Of course, to work on these babies,” Lapis set down her box just briefly to flex a bicep. She was toned, but far away from becoming a body builder. “In all seriousness, most of what I have are books.”

“Books? I didn’t know you liked reading,” she did not seem like the type to be an avid reader, though Peridot stopped assuming things about Lapis a while ago. The blue haired girl had many interests which surprised her.

“I love it. Mostly classics, thrillers, or non-fiction psychology books.”

“At this rate, you’ll have a library in no time,” she huffed as they entered the house. Her collection put Peridot's own to shame. 

“That’s the goal, a whole room full of books!”

Peridot set down the load once they entered Lapis’ room. Her roommate from her last place, Blue Pearl had already moved all of her things in as well. The room was medium sized, but to make space, they shared a bunkbed. Everything was in a precise place, which made the blonde feel a tad uptight. Was Lapis this organized as well?

Soon she found out the answer, which was no. The blue haired girl was not untidy, but she did not make any effort in keeping her room pristine. Peridot helped Lapis unpack, and hang clothes up in the closet. Lapis mostly wore, as she observed, crop tops, shorts, and loose shirts. She owned a few kimono cardigans, but surprisingly no dresses. Peridot would have thought Lapis would be the type to wear dresses. Everything she owned was somewhat fashionable, putting the green eyed girl to shame. All she wore usually were tee shirts, skinny jeans, button up shirts, and sneakers. She had a few more formal business outfits in her own closet, but those were packed away in a box. Ever since she left home, she did not have to wear anything professional.

Her mother’s business was named after her, Diamond Systems. How conceited of her. Diamond was a high tech company, which recently made it into the Annual’s list for being in the hundred most profitable corporations worldwide. To summarize, the company designed and produced consumer electronics, software, and hardware. Their most prized successes included their mobile devices, computers, and self-developed operating system, which ran exclusively on their products. And her mother was the CEO, the mogul of this empire. 

Peridot even eyed that Lapis owned a Diamond phone, but she did not mention anything. There was no way Lapis would ever believe her, when she disclosed the fact she was the CEO of Diamond’s _daughter._ But sooner or later, she would learn the truth. Just, now was not the time. That was a discussion the blonde did not care to open up, until she felt comfortable enough.

“What are you thinking about?” Lapis interrupted her deep contemplation.

“Oh nothing really, just about how you’re roommate is so organized, that’s all,” did she sound convincing enough?

“Is that so?”

_Nope._

But Lapis went along, “Blue’s always been like that with her own things. Fortunately she doesn’t care about my things, so we’ve never had any arguments over it. Though she does keep to herself a lot, and isn’t the type to confront.”

“Where’s she now?”

“Working. She’s a barista at The Donut Coffee Roasters on University Street.”

“No way, I have a friend who works, well _used_ to work there. He quit a while ago. His name is Lars, does that ring a bell?”

“I’ve never met anyone named Lars, but you should ask Blue later, if we’re still around the house. If I can put in my personal opinion, I’d much rather go outside, or somewhere with AC. This house is heating up pretty fast.”

“Don’t you have air conditioning now?”

“It’s broken. The landlady just hired someone to come over and fix it in the next few days.”

“That sucks.”

“At least for the next couple days, but at least it’s not for the rest of the summer and fall.”

In the room next to Lapis’ was a loud thud on the far wall. Peridot thought she could make out a voice or two. “Is someone here?” She said concerned.

“Those are the remaining two housemates who were living here before we moved in. They go to the university as well. From what I can see,” she lowered her voice just a tad, “they’re sort of eccentric. They’re also a couple and are probably hooking up right now.”

The wall banged again, and Peridot cringed. But she had a great idea, which allowed them to escape the awkward scenario. “Want to come over to my place? It’ll probably be a lot cooler, since we have air conditioning and a pool. But you already know that. We can go for a swim when it gets hotter. My roommates are probably all there, and can sometimes be intrusive at times. But they are nice, enough.”

“That idea sounds refreshing,” Lapis replied, shelving the last of her books. Besides one other box lying next to the base of the bed, they were finished unpacking. “I just need a few things, like my swimsuit and towel.”

Lapis in a swimsuit. That was a thought Peridot dared not to let her mind dwell on. Especially not while the tan girl was standing right in front of her. She was going to see her half naked body for the first time, and Lapis had an amazing figure. But what about herself? Peridot was nowhere close to Lapis’ level of fitness or shape. While she did not hate her body or figure, she did not love it either. What if she saw her, and instantly became disinterested?

The blue haired girl left a note for her roommate Blue Pearl, mostly so she would not be alarmed by the clutter. After Lapis had everything she needed in her backpack, they went out the door, and she twisted the house key behind her. It was a one-story rambler, like the rest of the houses in this particular neighborhood. It was not considered an extremely poor area, but it was not the wealthiest either. Most of the lawns were dead and brown due to the relentless heat wave, aside from one or two which looked like they were spray painted green. Even the lawns in this city were practically fake.

The two girls walked down the road, hiding under the trees which lined each side of the street for shade. But even they were starting to look a bit withered. It was a straight shot down to Peridot’s house, and all her housemates would be there. What would Lapis think of them? They had never spent time together with other people before, and this made the pale girl nervous.

She felt an unknown source touch the palm of her hand.

Peridot flinched from surprise, and pulled her hand to her chest.

Lapis was looking at her, surprised herself, and strangely for her, a bit embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “You just looked so cute, and I couldn’t help wanting to hold your hand.”

Now embarrassed herself, Peridot apologized profusely, “No, it’s not you, it was me! It’s not that I don’t want to hold your hand, I just wasn’t expecting it.” She _had_ to jump and unwittingly reject Lapis like that. Why did she always have to mess things up? Looking down, she reached her hand out, palm up, offering it to the taller girl.

Carefully and delicately, Lapis placed her hand on top of Peridot’s. Immediately, the blonde could tell her skin was remarkably soft. Lapis intertwined their fingers, and she got this awful out of breath feeling, like she was going to pass out. It was like the kind someone gets when riding a roller coaster, when they just hit the peak of the ride, and the car begins to drop. She was not the type to typically like roller coasters, but this twinge intrigued her.  Lapis’ hand was cool, which made her feel self-conscious about her own.

“I got to check something,” she released Lapis’ hold and slipped her hand into her pocket. Peridot was not looking for anything, but instead discreetly wiped her hand, in case it felt too sweaty or too dry. It was not the kind of thing you usually paid attention to, whether the temperature of your hands were tolerable. But with it almost hitting 95 degrees Fahrenheit, it was an understandable thing to worry about, especially when around a girl she wanted to impress. She sighed, and meshed her fingers with Lapis’.

They approached Peridot’s house, affectionately named “The Temple” by her roommates before she moved in. It was a rambler as well, and had a comfortable porch with an outdoor couch. It was mostly where Pearl would go to smoke, and she sometimes questioned whether Amethyst did occasionally with her. Garnet stood clear of the habit altogether. Fortunately the cigarette smell never wafted inside the house, though it did stick to Pearl’s clothing. Another positive thing is that they never trashed the deck with cigarette butts. Pearl was meticulously clean, and often cleaned up others’ messes as well. Therefore Peridot did not feel embarrassed bringing Lapis to her place.

The slightly shorter girl turned the key in the door, but it was already unlocked. The door swung open, being lighter in weight, and the two girls strolled inside.

A loud, out of sight voice yelled, which came from the kitchen. “Yo P! How was your date with _Lapis Lazuli_?” Amethyst said the blue haired girl’s name in a sing song voice. “Did you get the nerve to hook up with her this time around?”

To say she was embarrassed was an understatement. Peridot was mortified. “She’s right here.” Letting go of Lapis’ hand, they stood at the foot of the kitchen. Amethyst was cooking up some kind of instant noodle soup in the microwave.

“Oh,” the platinum blonde girl laughed nervously. “Uh, I guess it’s nice to finally meet you.”

Lapis had her arms folded, almost appearing a bit defensive. “Same.” She never gave one worded replies. Clearly she was not amused by Amethyst in any way. The beginning of the introduction was not going well.

“Peridot talks about you all the time.”

“Is that so?” Lapis peered her eyes at Peridot, without twisting her head. Now she was being analyzed, and inside was pleading for it to end. That, or for Amethyst to vanish. Contrary to what Amethyst told, she did not talk about Lapis all the time. Her roommate said this either out of awkwardness or to purely tease her. She guessed the latter.

“Amethyst!” It was Pearl out on the back patio. “Can you come here for a second?”

_Bless you Pearl._

“Sure thing,” the microwave beeped, she grabbed her noodles, and slammed the machine’s door. “I’ll be back,” she hurried outside, moving faster than her casual pace. Peridot deducted her housemate wanted to escape as much as she.

 “Sorry about Amy,” Peridot mumbled. “She can be a bit blunt. Actually, extremely blunt.”

“There’s no reason for you to apologize,” Lapis said with a half-smile. “I remember her from the night we first met. The drunk one who kept handing you drinks like a dispenser.”

This time Peridot laughed, and said in a quieter voice, “She doesn’t always think things through, but she’s a kind person and has a good sense of humor.” The blonde did not want Lapis’ first impression of her loud-mouthed housemate to be on the poor side.

A face that Peridot had never seen before on Lapis emerged. It was serious, almost austere. “Be careful around your housemates.”

_What was that supposed to mean?_

The girls she had befriended in the past few months were the closest people she had in her life. Was Lapis warning her? Was she hinting to her that they could not be trusted? Peridot, assuming this was her first time meeting them, was unsure where this side of Lapis was stemming from. It made her uneasy.

“I’m careful with everyone. Trust me, I pick and choose who I spend time with deliberately,” she nudged Lapis’ arm in a toying way. She hoped it would lighten her words. “You should meet my other housemates, so you can envision who I’m talking about while we’re together.”

The blue haired girl nodded. “Alright, but it’s getting pretty hot in here already, even with the AC on. We should go in the pool afterwards.”

A loud splash outside indicated Peridot’s housemates were already utilizing the pool. The blonde slid open the screen door connecting the kitchen to the back patio. There was a thin roof above the lounging area, with three outdoor couches they bought.

It was clear that Pearl was carping at Amethyst, most likely for embarrassing the fair skinned girl in front of Lapis. She immediately hushed as Peridot soon waved at them.

“Hey Pearl, this is Lapis Lazuli, the girl I’ve told you all about,” she glanced at Amethyst hoping to make her roommate to ease the tension.

“It’s very nice to meet you Lapis,” she said, her approach unreadable, clashing with her usually formal and cordial personality.

“I second that,” Garnet said, wrapping a towel around her waist as she emerged out of the pool. “I’m Garnet,” she offered her hand stoically and coolly. At least Garnet was acting like her normal self. She was rare for her not to be even keel with just about everyone.

Wavering for a moment, Lapis returned the handshake, mirroring Garnets temperament. “Same with you.”

“The pool’s all yours if you’re going to use it. I’ll be inside, living by my fan,” the taller woman said with her dry sense of humor.

As soon as they went outside to meet Peridot’s roommates, they went back in to change into their suits. Peridot offered Lapis the bathroom to change, while she took her own room. And laying on her bed was the blue haired girl’s backpack.

For a second, Peridot had an urge to go through and see what was inside. But then she quickly became disgusted with herself, which she would even think to do such a thing. Not only that, but Lapis could come into her room at any moment. A buzzing coming from the bag interrupted her thoughts. Lapis must have left her phone inside.

Though curiosity was strong to check the phone, she knew in and out how to temper with Diamond phones, her moralistic side got the best with her. In the end she ignored the impulse, and met Lapis outside and already in the pool.

“This feels so nice!” She called out to Peridot.

A faint snicker came from Amethyst, still outside with Pearl, but it was overlooked. The two were busy watching some video on the pastel haired girl’s phone.

Peridot dipped a foot in, and pulled it out right away. For it being as hot as it was, the pool was frigid.

“Come on, it’s not _that_ bad once you get in.” She came up to the blonde, and with both of her hands, placing them in Peridot’s. Once she really looked at her at that close proximity, her heartrate slowed. Were her eyes always this violet?

But she fell for the ploy, as Lapis pulled Peridot right in with her. They both submerged in the water. It was cold, but felt better than Peridot made herself imagine. Blue hair flowed all around her face. Though the pool looked clear from above, her vision turned blurry underwater. She could tell Lapis’ general form and facial structure, as she sunk on top of her. Underneath the surface, everything was silent, and the rest of the world was tuned out. It was just her and Lapis.

_Air._

But there were priorities to tend to, such as breathing. Surfacing, she gasped for air and Lapis came up right after, splashing her face in the process.

“Gotcha!”

“You’re an awful person, you know that?” She hugged herself with both arms, shivering. Goosebumps emerged on her pale skin

“Aw thanks. Secretly you love it.” Lapis pretty much summarized her in a sentence. Was she drifting closer?

They were just inches apart, and Lapis casted a shadow over Peridot. Her face now a silhouette, she wrapped both arms around Peridot’s waist. She was unbelievably close, and the water dripping down her back might as well have been sweat. Pressing a leg in between her own, the blonde made an audible hum in return. Looking both ways before looking back at Lapis, both Amethyst and Pearl had fallen asleep on the couch. A book was open, face down on her lap. Neither of them were awake to pester her. Her own body slid up Lapis’ leg, with the help of the girl’s hands supporting her back.

There was no space between them now. Even completely wet from the pool, Peridot could still make out Lapis’ scent. Her hair had a floral, tropical fragrance to it. Rarely was she ever turned on, but it was just enough for Peridot to cross that line.

This time, Peridot put both of her hands against Lapis’ hips, feeling her defined, thin frame. She could not take this much longer, but never had she kissed anyone before. Willingly. Part of her desperately wanted to go for it, to kiss the girl who tormented her relentlessly. The other part told her to wait. Wait, for what? There was nothing to wait for. She might never have this opportunity again. Maybe Lapis would take it the wrong way if Peridot did not want to kiss her, even though every fiber in her being itched to.

The girl’s lips were almost touching her own. In a whisper, she breathed, “It’s alright, I get it.” Catching her once again off guard, Lapis leaned forward into Peridot, plunking them both right back into the water. Underneath the surface Lapis hugged the blonde tightly, and brought her to the surface. In a daze from being submerged and from the dizzying light, the tan girl’s voice entered her ear, like a dream. “I want our first kiss to be special too.”


	7. New Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot reflects over the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter but I posted the next one as well, and have the one after that half written. :) By the way, thanks for the Kudos and reading so far. It means a whole lot to me!

Later that night, Peridot spent way too much time lying awake in bed. It was not because she was still energized from earlier, though it may have played a small role. It was Lapis’ reaction to her roommates.

Speaking of roommates, Amethyst could be heard snoring in the living room. She must have fallen asleep with the television on again, watching reruns of that ridiculous show Little Butler. A hardcore fan, Amethyst owned every episode on DVD. It was beyond her regarding how anyone could waste so much time watching that pointless drivel.

The light from the television emanated through the hallway, and a flickering frame encircled the door. Light from the outside streets trickled through the blinds, illuminating the room. Peridot made a mental note to invest in heavy, thick curtains to go over the windows. Hopefully tomorrow morning there would be an opportunity to go shopping. During the day, they were fortunate to have AC in the first place. But it would help keep the room cooler, and conserve energy. During this time of the year, it was not hard to rack up cost on the utilities bill.

By the sound of it, Garnet and Pearl were likely asleep as well in their rooms. Pearl usually liked to go to bed early, while Garnet would sometimes have to work graveyard shifts. Tonight was not one of those nights for her. Out of anyone in the house, Garnet got the least sleep.

Even if they, as in Amethyst, did embarrass her earlier in front of Lapis, Peridot still appreciated them.

_What did Lapis mean when she told me to be careful around them?_

She was already extremely cautious around people, though Lapis might not know that yet. Her housemates were the first people Peridot introduced to her. And even if she was friends with the girls in her house, she was quite content doing things apart from them. At the lesbian club, she even went off by herself to get a breath of fresh air. Well, maybe that was a poor example, but it was how she and Lapis met in the first place.

After they dried off from the pool, which did not take long, they went inside and spent the rest of the day in Peridot’s room. Lapis apologized about her hesitation with the blonde’s friends. She explained how she would get very uncomfortable around certain people, and felt a lot of pressure at that moment. Lapis did not go into further detail, but Peridot wondered if she had some minor social anxiety. Were people leaning on the extroverted side, like Lapis, less prone to anxiety? Though she made a couple hypotheses, she was not the one studying psychology. The blonde let Lapis know it was alright, and that her housemates were pretty laid back. She had no doubt did not think much of it, but that she would keep it in consideration, if they ever went to any event or social gathering. Lapis seemed to relax with that, and a flood of relief washed over her face.

They spent a good few hours napping on Peridot’s twin sized bed. She did not need a mattress larger than that. Lapis curled up into the blonde, holding her hand, and nesting her head on her shoulder. Both girls were wiped out from being out in the pool, under the hot sun. Peridot was almost positive she received a burn line or two, feeling her skin cooking as she laid down on her back.

Lapis Lazuli always seemed to surprise her or catch her off guard. When the blue haired girl suggested they go into Peridot’s room, she immediately scanned through the countless situations that could happen. Most of those conditions involving the physical, especially recounting how Lapis acted around her in the pool. Even though Peridot had not dated before, she knew Lapis was unusually patient. Not only did she express wanting to wait to kiss her, but while in her room, Lapis refrained from coming on to her physically. Of course they held hands and cuddled on top of her bed, but nothing too sexual.

Peridot was confused as to whether she be relieved or worried. She did not think she was ready for anything sexual, and prayed that Lapis might understand. They did meet and hit it off at a club, which meant the chances of them hooking up were immensely greater. Greater than meeting at a park or coffee shop rather. But the taller girl did not seem like someone who wanted to hook up all the time, going against Beach City’s infamous hook-up culture. The girl was refreshing to be around, and Peridot hoped Lapis was just as comfortable with her, as it was vice versa.

Peridot remembered the soft palm of Lapis’ hand embedded in her own, as the blonde rested her head against her shoulder. This was pretty great. It would be even better if her heart could stop racing. The tan girl’s breathing started to slow, and Peridot felt herself dozing off. Though she enjoyed watching how cute Lapis was as she rested, she felt her green eyes become droopy and heavy. Soon they were both snoozing away on Peridot’s bed in a comfortable embrace. She never thought dating would ever be this amazing. It was not like what music artists sung about, or how she overheard classmates and colleagues talk about relationships. Whatever she and Lapis had, it felt much better. Eventually they would need to talk about their status and how they should define their relationship. But that could be put on hold for the moment.

Blinking her eyes in a yawn, she was brought back to the present, knowing she would value that peaceful memory. One of the few she had experienced in her life. Amethyst stopped snoring in the other room, and the TV was turned off. She must have woken up and turned it off herself. Either that, or Pearl woke up and did it for her, carrying her into her room.   

In the next day, school would start back up again for the fall. That meant she would have to wake up early, since she was forced to take an eight a.m. o’clock class. She half groaned sleepily at that thought. Mid way through summer she bought her textbooks, and read most of them all the way through. That way, she would already be extra prepared. Unlike most people, she did not forget information quickly. Her brain retained information like an elephant. In order to graduate on schedule, or more like her own schedule, she would have to take eighteen to twenty one units each semester. Which was very much doable, no sweat.

Her backpack, already prepared, was sitting lonely in the corner of her room. A folded outfit laid on the floor next to her pack. She hated having to do all those steps in the morning half asleep. Better she do it now, so that she could sleep in just for a few extra minutes. Though she did not feel entirely ready for the fall semester, she was enthusiastic to share it with Lapis Lazuli. The life she led school was about to divert from the norm she became accustomed to, in the previous semesters.


	8. First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of school has finally arrived.

In the morning she did not have to walk alone. It so happened Lapis had a morning class on the first day, which took place once a week. Outside it was still dark, though over to the East there was a lighter purple tint to the sky. In twenty minutes or so, the sun would start to rise.

Waking up to a rude awakening by her phone alarm, she accidentally slept in fifteen extra minutes. She flung out of bed, almost stumbling down to the floor, to make up for the time she lost. If she hurried she would have another fifteen minutes to get ready and eat breakfast, before swinging by Lazuli’s place to pick her up at 7:40. That meant she had to look good, and not slobby. Lapis was sure to look stylish as always, especially on the first day. On the other hand, it was college not high school, and maybe she would be in sweats and a t-shirt. Shrugging, she was thankful she had prepared an outfit the night before.

Slipping on her skinny jeans, she sat on her bed as she tied the laces to her new white sneakers. Figuring society would not accept her if she went out shirtless, she put over a charcoal grey muscle tank top over her black sports bra. She went over to her closet, picked her favorite green flannel, and put it on. It would only be a couple hours before it would start to get warm, and then she usually tied her flannels or jackets around her waist. Its purpose was more to prevent Peridot from feeling like a penguin in the South Pole during class.

It did not take her long to put on makeup, and fix her hair in her into her regular style. Normally she did not wear a whole lot of makeup. Her skin was always pretty clear since her dismal junior high days, and could put on her cat-eye eyeliner with a couple strokes. Most of her makeup essentials came from the drugstore, nothing too fancy or expensive. As for her hair, it was naturally straight and usually did not have to flat iron it, unless she slept on it wet. Messing it up a bit with her fingers, she took her tiny hair tie, brushed her fingers through to grab a bunch of hair, and did it half up.

Rushing on the way out she managed to grab two bananas, one for her and one for Lapis, along with some toasted frozen waffles. Pearl was already up as well, reading some book while sipping coffee and enjoying a yogurt.

As Peridot was leaving, she heard the pink haired girl say, “Have a good first day,” which she rallied back.

She walked even faster to Lapis’ house and as she was about to knock, the blue haired girl opened the door.

“I saw you walking up from the kitchen,” she gave Peridot a hug, struggling to do so with their backpacks. As if they really needed them the first week. “I also made us tea to go and put a bit of vanilla in it,” she handed her a paper cup with a lid. It was Earl Grey, which was Pearl’s favorite. “I don’t usually sweeten it, but it sounded like a pretty bomb idea. I also do the same with matcha.”

“And I brought us breakfast,” she presented. “It’s not much but it’s all I really have.” It was true. Most of the time she was too lazy to go grocery shopping.

“I usually eat frozen waffles for breakfast too, so you read my mind. I’m practically married to that toaster.”

The walk to school was about ten minutes, which Peridot usually timed. They scarfed down the food as cars passed them by on the side of the road. Typically that was the morning commute to school which passed her.

Lapis looked great, as Peridot predicted. Her hair was in its usual style, and she wore a long, navy blue sundress, which showed a whole lot of her waist.  On her feet were silver sandals and around her neck was the water drop necklace, made with the lazuli gemstone which she was named after.

“Where did you get that? Your necklace I mean,” she asked, as a small talk conversation ended.

“My grandmother gave it to me a long time ago. It used to be hers and I was named after her. Though she never told me what the history behind it was, I know it’s valuable.”

“Your mom’s mom?”

“No, my father’s mom. Even though he vanished, the rest of his family didn’t. Though my mom and I were never very close with them, and that’s being nice, my grandmother always seemed to make an effort in keeping a relationship with us. I was not extremely close to her, but she was kind lady and I appreciated her. She passed away before I started high school, and it was one of the last gifts she gave me.”

“Oh. Did she know what happened to your father? Like where he went off to.”

“I’ve always wondered that as well. Though she claimed to not know, there were family rumors of him being in another country.” Peridot vaguely remembered to hear Lapis say something like that before. “Even though I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, I wondered if she actually knew and decided not to tell us. Part of me wishes she was still around.”

That made sense. With her mom in a hospital receiving direct care, she was on her own. Lapis did not have any other family members, at least which Peridot knew of.

“He left when I was little, and I don’t remember him at all. You don’t have to feel bad, it wasn’t exactly a tragic event in my life,” Lapis said it as if she was reading her mind. “But anyway, I’ve always worn this necklace ever since I was given it. I take it off if I go swimming or take a shower of course. But it’s worth a lot to me.”

They reached campus which still felt somewhat dead of campus life, walking past the cafeteria and gym. Beach City University, despite its reputation, was at least a respectable looking campus. The grass was always mowed and kept somewhat green, and the sidewalks were clear of trash. The ground which they walked alternated between cement and red brick, and the buildings created with a modernistic style in mind. Next to the library, trees and flowers paralleled the main pathway on both sides. It smelled wonderfully fragrant.

“May I hold your hand?” Peridot blurted out, looking over to her left at the violet eyed girl. The sun was just starting to rise, and the light fell on her blue hair softly.

Lapis blushed a little. “Of course. You know, you really don’t have to ask me. I officially allow you to hold my hand any time you like.”

“Lucky me,” Peridot joked, but followed up quickly with a smile as she took the girl’s hand in her own. Instantly she felt content.

Up ahead, a bit past the library, was Lars listening to music. And he was walking their way. Peridot had not seen him for a week. “Hey Lapis,” she nudged, “there’s another friend of mine. You need to meet him.”

Before she could respond, Peridot continued, “Great!” And she waved at the red headed boy to get his attention.

Lars gave a peace sign, took off his black head phones, and set them around his neck. “Hey guys what’s good?” He gave Peridot a fist bump, before turning to Lapis. “I don’t think we’ve met yet?”

“It’s Lapis Lazuli. But most people just call me by Lapis.”

“Nice to meet ‘ya. I suppose that’s how most people treat first day of school anyway. Meeting tons of people they’re never going to really talk to. But we’ll all probably chill sometime in the future.” Peridot was thankful Lars did not go through the “I’ve heard so much about you” spiel, unlike a certain short roommate of hers. “Speaking of which, I heard The Stage is having 90’s night. Going to clubs is not really my thing, but come on, 90’s night? You guys interested?”

“I’m down,” Peridot replied. It was rare Lars ever wanted to go out clubbing, like herself. But it did seem kind of fun, and Lars did appear in a good mood. She did not want to spoil that. They both looked at Lapis.

“Sounds good to me,” she smiled casually at them both. “Depends what night though, because I work.”

“Uh Thursday night?”

Lapis whipped out her phone, and tapped the calendar app. She hummed in thought. “Conveniently, I have that night off.”

“We’ll figure out details later, but I gotta’ go unless I want to be late to a class that I don’t want to take.”

“What’s it called?” Lapis questioned.

“Intro to College Success.”

Both Peridot and Lapis, who stood side by side, shuddered.

“You poor soul,” Peridot placed a hand on his shoulder in sarcastic sympathy.

“Isn’t that the class freshmen have to take here?” Lapis folded her arms, similar to how Lars was.

“Yeah,” he elongated the word and put his hands in both jean pockets, “but I never got around to taking it two years ago, and now I’m paying the price.” He was a junior, the same year as them.

“It’s a horrible class,” Peridot informed her. “If you were running late, the professor would lock the door. Her reasoning was if you are late, you won’t be successful, or something along those lines. I don’t know. I never paid attention half the time. Just wrote a couple papers, pretended to be listening, and that’s it.”

“Sounds awful.”

“The worst,” Peridot looked at Lars, “And it looks like you only have two minutes to get all the way over to the communications building, before the professor decides to lock the door and ostracize you the rest of the semester.”

“It’s whatever,” he grumbled, “I’ll see you both later then,” Lars said, already heading on his way.

 “It looks like we’re going to be a bit late as well,” Peridot checked her phone, which she usually slid into her back jean pocket.

“Eh, it’s whatever,” Lapis emulated Lars to a tee, which made Peridot snicker. As they started to walk towards the psychology building, Lapis continued, “Your friend seems nice though.”

Did Lapis really like one of her friends? “You saw him in a good mood, usually him and mornings don’t mix. But ultimately he is a nice guy.”

Once they came up to the building where Lapis had class, she turned to face Peridot, and wrapped her arms around the blonde’s waist in a hug. “Thanks for showing me to class,” she whispered flirtatiously in her ear.” Peridot wondered if Lapis’ chest, which was pressed against her own, could feel her heart beat.

“Anytime,” she said, partially letting a squeak out mid word. “By the way, you get out of your last class at one, right?” Lapis nodded. “Does that time sound good to grab lunch?”

“I’ll probably be hungrier than a lion in the savannah by then, so yes. That sounds like a plan to me,” the blue haired girl squeezed Peridot once more, and started to walk away. She turned her head around slightly, with an amorous look in her violet eyes. “I’ll see you later.”

“Y-yeah, see you later,” Peridot copied mechanically. But once Lapis went inside the building, she rushed off. The taller girl always seemed to captivate her, just like they met the first time over the summer. The problem was she was just too darn attractive. But was that _really_ a problem?

Deep down, Peridot knew it was not.


	9. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A supposedly fun night out takes a turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a much longer chapter, as it's a larger scene. As I'm writing this note, I can barely keep my eyes open. So have fun reading, and let me know your thoughts (and if I need to tag anything). :)
> 
> Btw I have every intent on writing this start to finish, as I have a direction for this story.

Music was blasting in the car, and Peridot was squished on both sides. On her left was Pearl, texting away, and on her right was Lapis Lazuli who had their touching arms intertwining. Lapis wore a silvery grey dress, with a royal blue statement necklace, overlaying her delicate teardrop necklace. She never really took it off after all. The blonde looked down at their embraced hands. Lapis had longer dainty hands with clean unpolished nails, while Peridot's were just small.

The three of them sat in the back, while Jasper and Amethyst sat at the front. Garnet was coming separately to meet them all after she got off of work. Lars, who had proposed the idea to go out Thursday night in the first place, was meeting them there separately. It so happened he got out of class early, being the first week, and spent the rest of the evening downtown exploring quirky museums. And who knows what else.

Peridot had mentioned to her housemates, after coming home from her first day, which she was going out that weekend. Thursdays usually counted as a partial weekend since Friday classes were rare. She forgot how or why she brought it up in conversation, but once it was out there, Amethyst persuaded her it would be more fun if they all went. Peridot was pretty sure none of her roommates knew Lars, and doubted Lapis would be ecstatic. But she shrugged, hopeful for a second chance where Lapis could get to know them. Maybe in a different setting, one less confronting, she would feel more comfortable.

A little cooler than usual that night, Peridot wore a tight black tank, and some light wash boyfriend jeans which she cuffed. Her sneakers were forest green, and threw a matching flannel in the trunk just in case. Along with an empty garbage bag. She always kept Amethyst in mind when the platinum blonde was going to be drinking.

“Almost there,” Amethyst said in a trying-to-be-cool sounding voice. She swerved around the bend, and parked on a neighborhood street just a few blocks away.

As they all sprawled out, Pearl brought up, “do you think it’s alright to park here? I don’t see any signs saying we can.”

“Well I don’t see any signs saying we _can’t,”_ she joked, bringing the pink haired girl’s comment right back around.

“Fine, but it’s not our problem if you get a ticket.”

“Aw they never check here P, it’s totally fine. I’ve parked here before many times,” she made a brushing off gesture with her hand. “Hey Jasper, you coming or not?”

The tall buff girl was still sitting in the car with the door open. “Wait a sec, I’m pre-gaming a bit.”

Pearl groaned. “Didn’t you do that before we left?”

“Yeah but that was pre pre-game.”

_Typical Jasper._

“That’s the spirit ‘cuz,” Amethyst leaned on Jasper, using her as an armrest. “And hand over some of that spirit while you’re at it.” She took a giant shot straight from the whiskey bottle, with no chaser, before handing it over.

Lapis seemed to be unamused, not really paying attention. Peridot was not really up for dealing with the two girls’ drinking habits that night, and did not want Lapis to be around, if shit so happened to go down.

“Hey guys,” she started. “Lapis and I are going to go on ahead and meet Lars at The Stage. He just texted me saying he just got there.”

Pearl waved her hand, looking at Peridot square in the eyes, “Sounds good, we’ll meet up later.”

“Yeah see ‘ya,” Peridot took Lapis’ hand and hurried forward.

Behind her she could hear Amethyst say, “Did they just ditch us?” She did not sound peeved, just amused.

“They’re meeting up with another friend. And besides, we need to wait for Garnet,” Pearl’s voice.

“Aren’t _I_ good enough?”

Lapis must have heard it too, because she snickered. Peridot gave a louder chuckle, finding it funny as well, though technically they were not ditching them. 

Walking through this particular neighborhood made Peridot uneasy. During the day, the colorful houses and lawns were more noticeable. But during the night, it felt downright sketchy. Come on, it was not like they were going to get mugged or anything. Then again, it _was_ Beach City and they _were_ near the strip.

“Is Lars really there already?” Lapis said curiously, one eyebrow raised.

“Technically he’s almost there. I just needed a little space, and figured if Amy is starting now, who knows what she’ll be like in a couple hours.”

“Your housemate has a drinking problem.”

“I know. She’s always like this when-“

“Just be careful.”

This conversation to Peridot sounded eerily similar. Not able to hold her thoughts she asked, “Is that why you don’t really care for her?”

“I’ve… known people like her before. They don’t know any moderation, selfishly drag people into their own drama, and never take care of themselves. It’s probably a good idea if you keep some healthy space from them.”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing now?” Peridot was not upset, but perplexed. “You don’t know them yet Lapis.”

“Do _you_ really know them?”

“They’re my housemates. I live with them,” she crossed her arms, letting go of Lapis’ hand. The blue haired girl looked down at their feet as they walked. “Can’t you give them a chance?”

A couple seconds of silence passed, where loud music was heard in the not too far distance. Why did she have to say anything? Why could she not keep her mouth shut, even if she would have thought about it all night?

“I’m sorry Peridot. I’ll try. I’ve never been the best at making friends anyway.” A response she did not expect to hear back.

“Neither have I, I guess that makes two of us,” Peridot extended her small pinkie finger in a hook. Lapis, changing to a happier disposition in that moment, linked her pinkie with Peridot’s.

“At least I’ve made one friend I can count on,” Lapis said, as Peridot gazed into her violet eyes, which sparkled a deep blue hue and reflected a hint of red. Her dress shone against the street lights along the strip, which made her glow.

“I’m going to hold that to you, you know.”

“As long as you don’t magically disappear.”

_Never._

When the two girls arrived at The Stage, Lars was waiting for them, matching the story she told the other girls. He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, and one leg bent. He wore all black, surprise surprise, apart from the plaid shirt tied around his waist which had hints of blue.

“Hey, what’s up?” He walked away from his post and greeted them with high fives.

“Well we drove here with my housemates, but Lapis and I walked over here separately. They’re going to meet up with Garnet, another housemate, before coming here. That’s if you’re interested in meeting up.”

“Sure, that’d be chill I guess,” he put his hands in his pockets. “Hey how’s it going Lazuli?”

“You can just call me Lapis.”

“Oh, sorry, you mentioned that before huh.”

“But I have the night off of work tonight. Meaning, it’s going well,” she gave a small smile. Lars asked her where she worked, and Lapis explained how she was a bartender, and that was how she and Peridot in the first place. Peridot already told Lars about Lapis before and what she did, and was positive he remembered those snippets of information. He was just trying to make casual conversation with her, but not obnoxiously like some overly curious extrovert. Lars was no extrovert.

They went inside, and instantly the atmosphere transformed. There were people everywhere wearing from casual to skimpy 90’s clothing. Even the dancers, which were spread across the nightclub, were “dressed” for the theme.

Predictably, as soon as the three went in, they walked directly over to the bar area. She and Lars were not into dancing at all, though she did not know about Lapis. If Lapis did want to dance, she would not mind making some sort of exception, though that would leave Lars by himself. And that would not be a very cool thing to do. Lapis ordered a few shots of Tequila, and still being somewhat naïve of it all, Peridot ordered the same.

“You should have it mixed with something to start,” Lapis suggested, likely remembering the first night they met.

“Gee thanks, I’m glad you have faith in my tolerance level,” Peridot said sarcastically, with a hint of flirtation.

The blue haired girl laughed. “Seriously though, mine is probably much higher than yours.”

“I’ll have a beer and a shot,” Lars’ voice broke through the noise, as he ordered.

_That’s a strange combination._

“Oh I should’ve gotten that instead,” Lapis told him.

_Whelp never mind._

This was probably the first time she was actually willing to go out to a club. The first time she was much more reluctant, but this time was different. She was with Lapis Lazuli and Lars, two completely different characters than her roommates. Neither of them had the intention of pressuring her into doing something she was disinterested in. Though she still felt a bit out of place in the setting, she was around people she felt comfortable with.

 After grabbing a high table, the three laid back in their chairs. The conversation went from drinks, to music, to interesting places in Beach City, as Lars told about his earlier venture out. After some time, Peridot told them she would buy the next round, it being the first time she ever offered something like that.

 _They seem to be getting along surprisingly well,_ the blonde thought. Out of all her friends she thought Lars was the last person Lapis would have clicked with the best. But that was not a bad thing in the least. She was happy about it, and relieved Lapis did not think all of Peridot’s friends were awful.

_Awful’s probably exaggerating a bit. Annoying was a more appropriate descriptor._

Coming back, she handed both of them beers, successful in not spilling them through the crowd. “Hey I’ll be back, I’m going to find a restroom,” she told the two casually.

“We’ll be here,” Lapis said with a smile. The blonde felt glad to be there with her friends. Lars seemed to be a in a more friendly mood tonight. Peridot guessed the fact that he pre-gamed had something to do with it.

The restrooms were along the back corner, through a tight hallway. There was already a long line of people waiting, which meant Peridot would have to wait some time.

_Lucky me._

There were only three stalls, she saw when it was her chance. Coming out of the stall, she washed her hands and double checked her makeup. Her eyeliner was usually not too heavy, though she applied a little more foundation that night. Rubbing her collarbones to make sure her makeup was blended in, she swiftly combed through her hair with her fingers. She was not going to look much better, she thought decidedly, and exited.

Sliding past the line, she made her way to the second bar, managing to slip through and quickly order a shot of vodka for herself. It was not like her to take shots straight up without a chaser, but everyone was having a good night. Why should she not? It was not her turn to play designated driver tonight anyway. And maybe it would give her confidence an extra boost around Lapis.

Pushing through the ocean of people, she was halfway across the venue where Lars and Lapis were waiting for her on the other side. But something in the corner of the eye popped out.

_Lapis?!_

Dancing on one of the risen stages, grinding slowly down a pole, was the one and only Lapis Lazuli. What was going on? Was she hallucinating? Did the bartender slip something in her shot while she was not looking? Peridot did not seem him do anything of the sort, but it could happen.

Managing to snap out of herself, she racked up the courage to look at her again. But examining her closer, the blonde realized, it was not Lapis.

She was slightly taller than Lapis, more toned, and had platinum blonde hair. With the changing colored lights, they probably turned blue right as Peridot noticed the woman, which resulted in her confusion. Seductively, the dancer caught the short girl’s eye and smirked. Dancing around the pole, she attended to the men and women demanding her attention with dollar bills.

Peridot snapped out of her fixation, she needed to get back to her friends. It was such an uncanny resemblance, not to mention out of body experience she just had. But even though Lapis did work as a bartender at a club, she would never consider working as a stripper or go-go dancer. Would she?

“Hey Peridot!”

This time the person actually turned out to be Lapis, who grabbed her bicep gently. “We saw you over here, and decided to come to you and-“

The blue haired girl never finished her sentence. Like Peridot, her roaming eyes froze on the woman figure in front of them. Peridot watched as her face seemed to drain every ounce of liveliness she embodied seconds ago. It was exchanged with a look of disbelief. Lars, who was on her other side, seemed to catch her bewilderment as well. “No…”

With her jaw dropped slightly, Peridot took the girl’s hand. “What’s wrong?”

“Damn for a second I thought that was you,” Lars remarked roughly the same time Peridot spoke, clearly commenting about the dancer.

“Can we leave?” She flashed her violet eyes and locked them with Peridot’s. She was amazed by her abrupt assertiveness.

“Of course,” she slightly slurred her words. Maybe she should not have taken that extra shot after all. “Lars is that cool with you?”

“Yeah it’s all good, but to remind you, I didn’t drive here.”

 _Shit._ Pearl, maybe Garnet, were probably the only ones not drinking tonight. If they were, not heavily. And those four all went off to another bar, as she just read a recent text. She could try to call the pink haired girl when they got outside, and far enough away for Peridot to hear past the music. But there was the chance Pearl would not even hear her phone go off, or hear her voice if she was inside.

“Let’s go outside, it’s too crowded here anyway. Maybe there’s a place nearby where we can grab food.”

Lars seemed to be gung-ho for that notion, and Lapis only nodded in agreement. Her face had a dazed look, and Peridot wondered if her date knew the stripper personally. Taking initiative to hold Lapis’ hand, she led the two outside. Fortunately Lars could almost walk in a completely straight line, and did not feel sick. Yet. Lapis, like herself, was walking along the line of tipsy and drunk.

With her available hand, she pulled out her phone from her back pocket. She tapped the maps app, and sloppily typed in “food near me.” Too many options popped up at once, and her eyes easily became lost. It would help to narrow this selection down a bit.

“Hey Lars, what sounds good to eat?”

“I dunno,” he called out, just as the trio exited. “A burger? Maybe some fries with that?”

“You’re a man of real taste,” the blonde commented wryly. Even though she felt unsteady at this point, her sarcasm was still intact. But her belly rumbled, indicating she was hungry enough to stomach down a whole burger.

Tripping lightly over herself, Peridot held the door first for Lapis and enough for Lars. He was hardly talking anymore, that usually happened with him after he would drink. He would get a spurt of talkative energy, and then crash. He looked pretty over the night, and relieved once as they walked inside and were led to a table.

“This is more like it,” he said with as much purr in his voice as was possible. “Hey when the waiter comes back, order this for me,” he said as he got up from his seat, pointing at a double-patty burger.

“Will do. But don’t go throwing up in the restroom, I don’t want to have to pay for damages as well.”

On any normal day Lars would have thrown back a witty comment. But he just grunted towards the remark as he wobbled away for the next couple minutes.

Looking over at the blue haired girl, she did not make eye contact with either of them the whole time.

When Lars was out of earshot, Peridot spoke, “So I guess you don’t want to talk about why you spur of the moment wanted to ditch the club?” She did not know where to start with Lapis. The taller girl never shared too many deeply personal facts with her, and Peridot was okay with it. That meant the other girl would not expect her to talk about her own personal life.

“The dancer we saw at the club, the one Lars pointed out looked just like me,” her voice was shaking now. Worry overcame Peridot. Was she alright, what was wrong?

“That woman is my sister.”

Swallowing her sip of water down the wrong tube, Peridot coughed in pain and apologized, though there was nothing to apologize about for her action. “Wait seriously? I didn’t know you had a sister in the first place.”

“We used to be close as kids, but one day she just disappeared. She’s eight years older than me, so I was about ten when she left. I guess she was fed up with my mom at the time, constantly threatened to leave since a year prior. But I didn’t think she would actually do it.” Her voice was starting to become heavier now.

“It happened two days before her eighteenth birthday, so technically she was still a minor. When she was missing for longer than twenty four hours, that’s when my mom called the police. But once her birthday came around, there was not much they could do, since she legally became an adult. It’s been over a decade.” Now her violet eyes seemed even more blueish, swollen with red. Peridot noticed from the corner of her vision, the waiter was wisely giving them some time.

“A whole decade, and Malachite never called once, never bothered to reach out to me. I would’ve but I didn’t know where or how. And now suddenly there she is, stripping for money and who knows what else. It’s not any of my business, I mean, I work around dancers so I know how it can be. It was just shocking and surreal to see her right there,” Lapis wiped tears rolling down her face. She was crying and talking silently, but Peridot hated to see her sad. This was the first time Peridot had seen her this distressed.

Not knowing what else to do, she took the paper napkin sitting on her table spot, and folded it. With it, Peridot brought it up to Lapis’ face, and gently brushed away her tears. The restaurant was busy, and the people at the tables around them noticed that she was crying, even though Lapis was weeping noiselessly. But the blonde did not care if anyone witnessed them in such a state. Taking care of Lapis was more important than what other people thought.

She herself had not cried like that even before she left home. Peridot did not know why it took a lot for her to even tear up.

“I don’t know why I even care,” Lapis choked out, almost as a whisper. “After all, she didn’t. She didn’t give a shit about me or my mom. So why do I?”

“Because you were hurt.”

“Hey did you order yet?” Lars was back, but as soon as he asked the question, he noticed the blue haired girl’s state. “Woah is everything okay?” He massaged the side of his forehead, doing small circles with his fingers.

“What does it look like?” Trying not to sound harsh or too rude, Peridot made her voice quiet and monotone. But it was obvious she was not doing well.

“Is this about earlier, when you wanted to leave?” He looked at Lapis straight in the eyes, impressive for someone seldom slurring their sentences but still likely dizzy.

She nodded and gave a strange chuckle. Out of embarrassment? “Look at me, I’m a mess. I’m sorry guys, I’m not usually like this.” Peridot assumed she was directing her speech more towards Lars. The blonde already knew she never impulsively cried. “That dancer you pointed out, thinking it was me, was my older sister. It’s been years since the last time I saw her.”

“Damn… I bet that was kind of sucky to see her again, up there. I’d probably be feeling similar to you right now, if that happened to me.” One thing about Lars which Peridot constantly appreciated, was that he listened and made an effort in relating to people he cared for. Whether or not it was because she and the blonde were dating, it was evident Lars trusted Lapis, or he would have just minded his own business. And vice versa. Lapis always kept things bottled in, even from her. Even though she did not exactly click with her housemates, she was relieved to see she got along with another of her friends, even though the circumstance did suck. In Lars’ own words.

A buzzing came from Peridot’s back jean pocket, and she whipped her phone out from underneath her, without letting go of Lapis. The screen revealed an incoming call from Pearl, along with four missed messages. Normally she would have ignored it at a time like this, but Pearl was not one to call relentlessly.

“I have to take this or Pearl’s going to go crazy,” she told the two at the table, and swiped her finger across the screen to answer. She would make it a short conversation, to not come off like she was disregarding Lapis.

“Where the hell are you?!”

It was rare for Pearl to swear. Whatever the case was, it was not good. Was the taller girl mad at her?

“Uh,” Peridot massaged the back of her neck nervously. “We’re out getting food right now. What’s up?”

“What’s up? I’ve tried reaching you, but you didn’t answer!”

“ _I’m sorry,_ but I’m kind of dealing with an issue here.”

“Want to bet ours is larger?” Pearl retaliated back, no pun intended. “Jasper’s missing, we can’t find her anywhere.”

Jasper? Going missing sounds like something Amethyst would do, not her cousin. Jasper was a little more careful than that.

“When was the last you saw her?”

“She said she was going outside in the alley for a smoke. But after half an hour, I went out to see what she was up to and she wasn’t there. We checked the upstairs area, bar area, the bathrooms, and scanned the rest of the club, but she was nowhere.”

“She’s not with us, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“We’ve looked everywhere!”

“Okay Pearl,” Peridot took a deep breath, and leveled her voice. Both a teary-eyed Lapis and engaged Lars were watching her. “First you need to calm down. Second, how much have you all had to drink?”

“I’m… I’m not sure.”

“Not sure? You always know.”

“Well tonight ended up being more than usual,” she said defensively, as the words slurred over the phone.

“Did you end up drinking?”

“Maybe a little bit.” By Pearl’s tone of voice, it sounded more than just “a little bit.”

“Okay. We’ll find Jasper first, and then figure out a plan to get back. Lapis, Lars, and I will start looking by Evergreen Street and Pike Avenue. Call me if anything new comes up.”

Pearl sniffed. “Thanks Peridot. I’m sorry for blowing up on you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s start searching for Jasper. We’ll talk later,” Peridot wanted to get the call over with.

Pearl said goodbye and both lines hung up.

“We heard it all,” Lapis said to Peridot, glancing at Lars.

“But we haven’t even ordered our food yet!”

“You just wanted a burger right?” Lars nodded, and Peridot sighed. “I’ll just tell the waiter that we’ll have a burger to go. Lapis, do you want anything?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m not very hungry anymore. All I want is sleep.”

_Don’t we all?_

Peridot grabbed the waiter’s attention and placed Lars’ order, paying with it on her card. It was no big deal. It was only a burger, and besides, it was not like she was exactly broke.

Within ten seven minutes, Lars had his food and was finally satisfied, not moody. They walked out and Peridot checked her phone. It was two a.m. At this time, wasted people freely meandered along both sides of the street. Jasper could be anywhere. For all she knew Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet might not have thoroughly scanned the club. The place was huge and two stories high, making it easy to miss someone in the crowds. Jasper might even have gone back to the car, or she could have seen people she knew and gone off with them. Or like Lars, she could have wanted food, and gone to a convenience store.

“So,” Lars spoke with food in his mouth, and still chewing. “Where do we start looking for this chick?”

“I’m with Lars. This strip makes up a huge part of the city. How are we supposed to start looking for your roommate’s cousin?”

She did not know. The most they could do is walk around and keep their eyes out. “What makes you think I know? Let’s start by going around and scan the general area. If we don’t find her, I’ll give Pearl another call.”

“Do you think it’d be faster if we split?” Lars suggested.

“…No.” That did not sound like a good idea at all, at least at this time of night. “We should probably stick together for the time being. If we get desperate (and more sober) we can split up.”

“Mm ‘kay,” he swallowed the last chunk of the burger, and tossed the to-go box into the garbage bin.

After fifteen minutes of walking around, there was still no sign of the tall woman. And as every minute passed, Peridot contemplated the scenarios where something horrible went wrong with Jasper. Like the situation was not stressful enough. The platinum blonde woman could not have gone too far. She did not drive here, Amethyst did. Peridot texted Pearl a few minutes ago, suggesting they check her car. But the vehicle was absent of her presence. 

“I’m sorry for this mess,” Peridot said a little more privately to Lapis. “I know how you feel about my housemates and I really didn’t want you to be dragged into this. That’s why I wanted to go off separately from the others with you in the first place. And now after seeing your sister again…” Peridot could not even imagine or begin to figure out how Lapis was feeling. “If you want I can call a cab and have it take you home. I’ll pay. You don’t have to deal with this.”

“Peridot, I’ll be okay. I want to be with you. It’s not your fault anyway that this all happened tonight. You just care about people a lot, and I care about you, so let me help you both out.”

The shorter girl blushed, unable to prevent it, and ruffled her shoulder length hair with a hand. “Thanks Lapis. But if it gets too late, I’m still calling a cab for you.”

“You’re so stubborn.” As the three were walking, Lapis leaned to the side, twisted her neck, and kissed the side of Peridot’s head. Her cheeks became completely flushed by the action, and cursed her genetically pale skin.

“S-s-so are you.”

“I know,” she gave a not so subtle wink.

“Hey will you two quit flirting already?” Lars complained. “I thought I saw someone who matched Jasper’s description going behind the grocery store.” That’s right, Lars had yet to be introduced to Jasper. They were right out front of the store now on the corner. It was an upscale looking grocery, part of a larger chain, with an ATM installed in the brick wall.

“Let’s check,” Lapis said, grabbing Peridot’s hand and leading the way.

They turned the corner to the back of the grocery store at the same time, and low and behold, there was Jasper.

The platinum blonde woman sat on the dirty street ground, with her back against the wall. She was not alone. Next to her, there appeared to be a homeless man with a huge, blond bear, and a school bus yellow coat. They both looked like they were talking to each other, while drinking and smoking. It did not look like cigarettes and did not smell of weed, though it was legal in The Golden State.

“What in the world,” Lars’ sentence trailed off, unfinished.

“Jasper, we’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Peridot said sternly. At the sound of her voice, Jasper snapped her head towards the direction it was coming from. She coughed in mid-puff.

“Oh hey P,” she was sounding like Amethyst now, since only her cousin called her that. “I just met my friend here, my friend, my friend… I’m sorry, what was it?” She turned to the homeless man.

“Yellowtail,” he said in a cryptic kind of mumble only few people could understand.

“That’s it, Yellowtail,” the woman seemed satisfied with herself, and continued on with her endeavor to finish whatever mystery drug she was smoking. “Thanks for this by the way,” she sloppily flailed the substance with her hand.

“My pleasure.”

Okay this guy was downright creepy. “Jasper,” Peridot called the girl’s name again in hopes of gaining her full attention. “It’s time to go, Amethyst is worried.”

“Come on Jasper,” Lapis added. “We’re going back to your place where we’ll have more fun.” Peridot knew that was a downright lie, but anything to get Jasper to go with them.

She perked her ears at this, “Fun?” She struggled as she got up, with one hand supporting against the brick wall. “Sorry my man Fishleg.”

“Yellowtail.”

“Yeah. Well it was fun, but I gotta bounce.”

“It was good talking to you, have an extraordinary night.” Peridot hoped he was not referring to anything that was about to kick in Jasper’s system.

Lars and Lapis supported Jasper’s weight, as Peridot called Pearl. She immediately answered.

“We found her,” was the first thing Peridot spoke into the device.

“Where?!” She exclaimed, amazed and relieved.

“Behind a grocery store on Sandy Street with some homeless man lighting up.”

“It’s not that bad,” Jasper tried to override Peridot’s voice, but it did not work.   

“Oh geez. We’re on our way right now, we just got into the car. Amethyst decided it would be a good idea to check the car again, and we got there just in the nick of time as an officer was about to write a ticket.”

“Close call. Anyway, we’ll be waiting here.”

“See you all soon,” that’s all she said before Pearl hung up. Peridot prayed “soon” would be the case, because Jasper was not looking so good.

“I’m fine, I swear on my life.” The larger girl was totally lying. Lapis whipped her around to face some bushes next to the building, where she hurled all over the place.

“Ugh,” Lapis said with disgust, but held Jasper’s hair back anyway, before taking a hair tie off her wrist and putting it in a thick bun. Peridot was somewhat impressed she was able to catch Jasper in time. But she did not want Lapis to have to deal with this for any longer.

“Can you two go into the grocery store and buy a water, along with a few plastic bags? Amethyst probably wouldn’t appreciate it if her car became the next apocalypse,” she handed them a couple dollars. That way, she could separate her friends from having to babysit. “I stay here and watch after Jasper.”

“We won’t take too long. Just make sure she doesn’t try to sit or lie down,” Lapis advised.

“Noted.”

Fortunately it only took five minutes for them to come back. Lars carried an obnoxiously large gallon water bottle with both hands. “It was cheaper than the branded kind.”

She face palmed her forehead, and ran her hand down her face. Jasper was drunk and could barely walk, let alone hold up a gallon of water. “Thanks, that’s good,” was all she said.

Lapis found a few bags, if Jasper needed to throw up in the car, which was a likely picture.  

Two familiar vehicles pulled up and to the side. “Jasper!” Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst said in unison as they jumped out of their cars.

“She’s alive,” Lapis mumbled to them. “And vomiting.”

“We got the towels,” Garnet said, prepared.

“You see cuz? It’s time to go now,” Amethyst dragged the much bigger girl along, with the help of Garnet. Pearl opened the back seat of the door and slid Jasper in, without there being much of a struggle. She was too far gone for that.

Peridot turned to Pearl mentioning quietly. “I’m not sure how high she is right now, but from the look of it, it’s not from weed.”

“Good to know. I’m going to be driving since I’m alright now, and have Amethyst sit in the back with her. Can you three go back with Garnet?

“That’s fine. Thanks for taking this one Pearl.”

The drive back home in Garnet’s car was much calmer. Lars took shotgun, and of course passed out on the leather seat, snoring slightly.

Peridot and Lapis sat in the back seat. The blonde was curled up against her date, as Lapis had both legs over hers. Her dress rode up just a slight, but enough for Peridot to want her. But they had not even shared their first kiss yet, how could she begin to think of something more lewd? As much as she wanted to run her hands all over Lapis’ slender body, she kept them to herself, still as a statue. None of them really talked for the whole half an hour drive. She and Garnet exchanged a few words, though the whole car was drained of energy. In the background the radio was tuned to the old school rap station, but was turned down to a lower level.

In no time at all, they dropped Lars at his place along the way, which Peridot provided directions and helped him back up to his apartment.

“This house right here,” as it was her date’s turn to be dropped off. But as the blue haired girl got out of the car, she tugged on Peridot’s shirt.

“I’ll meet you back at the house, I’m going to say goodnight to Lapis,” she told her housemate.

“You got a key?”

Peridot dug in her pocket, and felt the metal ridges. “Yup.”

“Great, see you there. Nice seeing you again Lapis,” Garnet smiled. “Sorry it was kind of a difficult night.”

Garnet had no idea.

“You as well,” she said politely, and the older woman drove off.

“First of all,” Peridot started to say. “Thank you for dealing with all that, especially with what happened at the club earlier. That was pretty crummy of Jasper.”

She did not say anything back. Instead, wrapping her arms around Peridot’s small waist, she brought the shorter girl to her chest. Peridot could feel her breath on her neck, and smell her floral, plumaria scent.  

“Stay with me tonight,” she whispered in her ear, hugging her tighter. “I don’t want to be alone right now.” After all that had happened, it made sense. “You can borrow some of my clothes. I promise I won’t pressure you to do anything, I can tell you want to wait.”

She had never spent the night with a girl before in general, but there was always a first for everything. Lapis radiated warmth as a cold chill passed them.

“Okay.”


	10. Making Things Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's explained what Peridot does for work, as well as the kind of relationship she and her mother share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anything comes as "off" let me know.

Lapis had kept her word that night, and as soon as the two girls plopped on her bed, they were out like a light. The next morning they woke up with no hangover, but still feeling a bit groggy. So they slept in all the way into the afternoon. The blue haired girl’s bed was so comfortable to Peridot. She would not be able to tell the difference if she was sleeping on a cloud instead. When she fluttered her eyes open, Peridot found themselves curled up facing each other, with Lapis’ face dangerously close to hers. The other girl’s makeup was still intact, though her eyeliner was smudged a bit on her lower lids. Her naturally straight blue hair managed to stay in the style which she usually kept it, lucky for her. Lips slightly parted, Lapis made no sound as she was lost in deep sleep.

Peridot studied her for a while, forcing herself to keep her eyes open. The light which shone through the cracks of the blinds casted highlighted strips on Lapis’ body, gradually moving down. Although her head was averaged sized, she had a thin face, which complemented her fit shape. She had worn a pair of running shorts and an oversized t-shirt to bed with a giant, vintage donut printed on the front. The down comforter bed sheet curved along with her body, showing the outline of her body. Even in sleep, Lapis was ridiculously attractive.

A sudden urge came over Peridot to kiss her right then and there. But she held back from doing so. What was wrong with her? Here she was, sleeping next to the most wonderful girl, and she was still debating whether to kiss her or not. Lapis made it clear she was ready to take it to the next level, but always held back. Peridot did not ever once feel pressured with her. But if they were already sleeping together in the same bed, they were going to have to talk about where they both stood. The blonde was surprised she even lasted this long with Lazuli. Not that she was unattractive or anything. She was average at the most. Rather it was her holding back, which may have turned most other girls away.

But Lapis was different, and Peridot had to let her know exactly how she felt. And soon.

She fell back asleep again after that.

Her dream replayed the events which took place hours before. She, Lapis, and Lars were still looking for Jasper, but when they found her, the bigger girl was faced away from them. Approaching her slowly, she turned her head around to acknowledge them. But rather than it being Jasper, it was the homeless man Yellowtail, eyes hollowed out and no teeth. This sudden shock was what woke Peridot up, heart racing, along with her phone vibrating underneath her.

Thank goodness. Squirming a bit, she found it and pulled the device up to her face. Checking the screen it said fifty missed emails, and two text messages. There were no weekends when it came to work, and the clients she worked with were always relentless to obtain updates on her progress. Fortunately half of it was spam, which left only half the amount for her to go through. It was a little past noon now, and she was supposed to deliver one of her clients results today. She had worked on it a bit on her computer the previous day, but put it off after deciding to go out. Breaking into the target’s server was the easy part. It was rummaging through the folders, files, emails, and software to search for the desired material, which ate up all her time. Even then it never took a tremendous amount out of her day.  

 

To secure her own computer, she wrote her own network security software and hardware, consisting of several firewalls nearly impossible to crack. This allowed her a healthy layer of protection and privacy. She knew how Diamond Co. utilized their systems, and even wrote software for them in the past. But that was the past. Along with knowing exactly how they functioned, she knew how to exploit them and where exactly the holes were written. Not even the programmers who worked at Diamond seemed to catch them yet. Working at her mother’s company saved her time and energy from having to use any alternative methods when guessing passwords and codes. This, she used to her advantage.  

It meant she could weasel her way into the loop of every project the company worked on, from large to small scale, and internal to external. She could find out who was going to be promoted, who was about to be laid off, and who was getting paid what salary. Like she really cared, but it was mildly entertaining to read all the same. There were two things in particular which she did with her access to all this information.

The first was archive as much as she could on her computer. She had in her possession copies of important documents, contracts, programs, beta applications, and more. It was always interesting to guess and figure out the direction Diamond’s future was heading, based on their future decisions and products. This she did simply for fun. She had countless unimportant files, so she spent most of her time with the ones that were noted as classified.

Before she left Diamond, she managed to formulate and copy over a master list containing every username and password, on a flash drive. She now had permission into any account used by the corporation. Including her own mother’s accounts, the chief executive officer. Reading though her emails was always interesting. Peridot would scoff to herself as most of them were worded too kind, too polite. That was not her mother. Yellow Diamond was selfish, uncaring, manipulative, never gave a damn. She was never around a lot either. The only positive quality Peridot could think of, was that she never downright ignored her. But even so, Yellow Diamond constantly placed too many high expectations on her growing up. If she ever failed to meet her mother’s standards, Yellow Diamond would make her feel subpar. She would say things like, “you’re never going to go anywhere in life,” and “what’s wrong with you.” Over time Peridot would occasionally wonder the same thing, those words forever ingrained in her mind.

Her mother presented her the opportunity to work for Diamond Co. saying “she could perhaps make herself of some use there.” That was the “in” Peridot needed, a perfect opportunity to do something right. At the same time, her mother never cared if she did anything right. The blonde constantly wondered what she was doing wrong in Yellow Diamond’s eyes. Then one day in high school Peridot had enough, giving up all attempts at trying to impress her, along with everyone else. And she was wholly content with that, never having any real friends to begin with.   

Even though during Peridot’s time at Diamond, security and privacy experienced a massive increase, Yellow Diamond never acknowledged this. Even more importantly, she never paid her for any work. When Peridot approached her about it, Yellow Diamond went on a tangent, explaining how at her age she used to work for free. The CEO’s stubbornness was probably the only quality that was passed on to her. It was pointless in negotiating any further. That, according to Peridot’s morals and contract, was wrong. She had signed the contract when she started work there, and it was Diamond Co. rule that every employee must be paid. The fact that her pay was being withheld meant Diamond was breaking the law. Not like they had never broken a law.

Peridot took it upon herself to make things right.

She had not only improved security, but transformed major internal programs. Any regular programmer in her position would be paid at least eighty five grand annually. Not only had she taken that exact sum from Diamond, but multiplied that by two for two years’ salary, along with a friendly bonus most dedicated employees received on the holidays. Peridot did all of this without it notifying Diamond’s system that this large sum had been transferred, all the way over to Beach City. When the accountants would find out eventually, it would appear as a serious fluke, and think first to blame each other. Not some college aged girl in her twenties, whose mother owned the company. It definitely would not be the largest loss the company would put up with. Instead they would yell at each other for a bit, maybe do some investigating or put it on record. Someone would get fired, and eventually sweep it under the rug. They were a multi-billion dollar company, so losing a few thousand would not affect them terribly. Observing their finances through the years, they could make it up quickly by their next quota. Peridot did not keep the transferred amount in her personal savings. Instead she started an untethered, private account, separate from her savings and checking. The blonde _supposed_ what she did was illegal to some degree, but were Diamond Co. and Yellow Diamond any better really?

Peridot wke up from deep thought when Lapis twitched a bit next to her. The tan girl stretched a bit, and gave a soft, morning moan.

“Mm, good morning,” she mumbled out.

“Morning to you too,” It was the afternoon, but she did not care. Peridot stroked Lapis’ bangs out of her face, revealing her forehead. Light now reflected off her eyes. She purred softly at the touch.

“I have to go and work, I have an assignment due later today.”

“No…” She groaned and grabbed her waist. “Can’t you stay for just a few more minutes?

Normally she would have been practical and told Lapis otherwise, that it was important, and she barely had started on it. But just looking at her face made her cave, and gave up all resistance. After fifteen minutes flew by, she got up from Lapis’ bed and changed out of the night clothes given to her. She pulled off the tank top, exposing her braless back. The thought to change in the bathroom slipped past her, until she realized as she clasped her bra, she should have. Little did she know Lapis was watching her from behind.

“You’re so attractive Peridot.”

The blonde whipped around as she pulled down her shirt. “Huh? What do you mean? I’m not at all…”

“Of course you are, everything about you.”

Peridot’s whole face turned red. What was she supposed to say to that? That was the first time in her entire life anyone had told her she was attractive, so she grew up thinking she was just mediocre looking. She fumbled through her words formulating the correct thing to say back, until she came to a simple “thanks.”

Lapis smiled, finding Peridot flustered mildly entertaining. Peridot put on her jeans, went over to the taller girl, and gave her a long hug. Their embraces started to feel familiar now, and though Peridot was not used to “familiar,” this kind was comforting.

She left the house, shutting the door behind her, but was unprepared for the heat which engulfed her as soon as she stepped outside. By the time she opened the door to her own house, she was sweating and panting. Her clothes already needed to be washed from last night, but now especially so.

“Have a fun time?”

Garnet’s voice caught Peridot off and jumped. “Oh,” she laughed, “I didn’t see you there.” What was Garnet assuming?

“I figured you would spent the night over there,” she said casually, “so I left the back door open just in case you needed anything.”

“Oh thanks.”

The blonde headed into her room, changing out of her outfit immediately. She put on running shorts, a loose black tank top which exposed her sides, and a sport’s bra. The next thing she did was turn her fan on, before opening her laptop.

_Okay, back to work for me._

Only an hour had passed when she finished, and sent everything to her client in an organized folder. The client contacted Peridot expressing concern that his wife was cheating with another man at work, using a separate computer to communicate. Peridot found out that not only did this woman have a separate computer, but also another phone. After gaining access to her desktop, she searched all her files, finding some not totally suitable for work pictures. From opening the first photo and seeing what it was, she quickly exited out, copying and pasting the entire picture folder to her computer. She did not need to see, nor have any desire to see the rest, and named the folder “Untasteful Pics.” While browsing, the woman apparently kept a note document file with all her usernames and passwords. It was way too convenient, not to mention predictable, coming from someone who uses their work computer to conceal their other life. And by the time she had scanned through the target’s emails, Peridot had everything she needed for her client.

There was more than enough proof that this woman was cheating. Taking a screenshot of the files she sent it to the client with the message “ready to send.” It was not long until her sent Peridot the total sum to her PayFriend account, and delivered him the results. He sure as hell was not going to be happy, with everything totaling to five gigabytes. But she was kind enough to name the files based on what they contained or showed, just in case he did not want to look at anything explicit.

Logging out of her accounts and shutting her laptop, she went and plopped on her bed, lying face up. It was time for a break. Grabbing her phone, she went through her gallery and all the pictures of her and Lapis Lazuli. She had a few of them on the beach, hanging in the city, and going out with their friends to downtown. Eyes remaining on one picture, it was a selfie Lapis took of them both, before she messaged it to Peridot. They both were smiling. A red light shone down on them both from the background, acting as a filter and distorting the colors. Their heads leaned in towards one another, and part of Lapis’ arm could be seen from holding up the phone. Peridot smiled. They were a pretty good looking couple if she thought so herself.

But wait, were they really a couple? This was something they both needed to figure out. Or maybe Lapis was waiting on her. Not knowing how most people went about this, Peridot came to the conclusion that she would officially ask Lapis to be her girlfriend. Yes it was a formal method, but at least this way everything would be cleared up with no ambiguity. After doing a few internet searches, she devised a plan of going about it.


	11. Moment of Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Peridot really ready to have "the talk" with Lapis?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT I had enough energy this week to write this chapter. I kind of really like how it turned out actually.
> 
> Again, thank you all for reading. :)

_Calculus, her least favorite class of the entire semester._

Peridot twiddled the pencil between her index and middle fingers. It was only halfway through the damn class, and what was only an hour and a half felt like eternity. The desks, like in all other rooms, were sorted into groups instead of the standard rows or columns. Sitting across from her was Jasper, who just so happened to end up in Calculus with her. She still seemed to be recovering from the weekend.

Whatever she ended up smoking, it wasn’t just weed. She guessed the joint was laced with something like PCP. Apparently during the car ride home, Jasper started disassociating around Peridot’s roommates. Pearl gave the taxi driver an apologetic tip, and Amethyst copied. After the first hour she seemed to have calmed down, but still fading in and out. By the time twelve hours had passed and morning came, Jasper was finally able to pass out. Pearl told Peridot all this with antipathy.

“Why did she have to go off impulsively like that? We three were having a perfectly fine night prior.”

Peridot could not answer that one. Jasper was not the type to be that impulsive, to just leave everyone and wander off by herself. She guessed there might have been a reason behind her actions, but decided not to say anything to the pink haired girl.

Eventually the class broke out into groups to work. This being the first week, they were already dealing with some complex ideas. Instead of talking to the rest of the group, Peridot worked at it by herself in silence. She worked better that way, on her own. Other people just slowed her down.

“Hey Peridot,” it was Jasper. She broke out of her mathematical trance and looked up. “Can you help me on a couple of these? My brain is too tired for this.”

 _I wonder why._    

“Sure.” Peridot looked over Jasper’s sheet, analyzing her work. Her handwriting was neat and straight. Very “Helvetica-like.” Immediately she saw where the bigger girl went wrong, and explained the solution step by step.

“In English please?” Jasper sighed, one arm on the table and resting her head.

“I thought that’s what we’re speaking now,” Peridot said flatly. “To be honest, I don’t know how to explain it any simpler.”

“Here, I think I might be able to help,” butted in a voice to her right. The third member of their table Sadie was looking at Jasper and then to her. Sadie was short and blonde, like herself, though her hair was slightly curly and probably weighed a little more. She wore a black shirt, maroon colored pants, and white tennis shoes. Her tablemate continued helping Jasper where she left off, leaving Peridot to resume her own work.

“Oh, that makes sense. See Peridot? _English_.” Jasper pointed out to her half roommate. This was one of those times Peridot could not tell if she was just joking, or genuinely annoyed and reacting snarky.

“Yeah,” Sadie laughed almost nervously. “You’re just way too smart.” Sadie twisted Jaspers words around, and threw a genuine complement at Peridot. “You’re already way ahead of us,” she was looking at Peridot’s work.

She shrugged. “It’s part of my major.”

The fourth person in their group was out sick, leaving just the three of them for the rest of the session. By the time class got out, Peridot was one of the first to pack up all her things, and hightail it to her next class.

“Wait up!” For a moment she thought it was going to be Jasper, but it was only Sadie. “Hey do you usually head this way?”

“Normally yes.”

“I hope you don’t mind that I butted in. She kind of seemed a bit off today.”

“Don’t worry about it, you were able to explain it better anyway. She had a pretty long weekend.”

“Do you know each other outside of class?”

“She’s my housemate’s cousin that always loves to bum around the place. She’s basically another roommate, and I see her almost every day.”

“Well we all have that one friend,” Sadie laughed at her own comment. Peridot let the quirk pass since she found it funny in a different way.

 _Yeah, friend. Right._ Peridot did not think the larger girl liked her much, though she was never deliberately mean or said anything bad about her. At least to her face. But then again, Jasper was not the gossiping type. When other people gossiped around her, she almost appeared annoyed. Anyway, she was above that kind of petty talk, as it seemed to waste her time.

But Peridot let out a chuckle, just to acknowledge Sadie. “That’s remarkably accurate.” The curly haired girl was a kind person, the type of person that if you did not acknowledge afterward, you would feel guilty for being so rude. The thin blonde never once recalled anything sarcastic or snarky come out of Sadie’s mouth, even though they had only known each other for about a week. Or less than that. The girl was always friendly towards everyone. She did not consider herself rude, never ignoring anybody.

They were outside of the next building Peridot had her next class. They talked, as Sadie followed her inside. _She must have a lecture or something inside here too._

“Anyway, here’s where my next class is. It was fun talking to you for a bit,” Sadie said with a smile. Right outside of Sadie’s class stood Lars. Frankly Peridot was surprised to see him there waiting like that. Normally he was late to things.

“Hey P, what’s going on?” Lars gave Peridot a high-five down low, before turning to Sadie.

 _Wait, was Lars blushing?_ Lars never blushed, probably in his entire life.

“Uh hi Sadie,” he spoke fast.

“Oh hey Lars, ready for class?”

So they were in class together. Was the red haired guy actually “interested” in somebody?

“Of course, always.” They were, Sadie included, ignoring Peridot now. Suddenly she felt similar to a third wheel.

“Well, I’ll catch you both later,” she did a single wave, similar to a salute. They both said a quick goodbye to her, before resuming small talk.

Peridot would have Lars divulge later. Lars flirting. Now there was a thought.

Plopping down in the auditorium, she sat smack dab in the middle. No way was she going to make herself look like an eager beaver in the front row, or a slacker way in the back. From first instinct, she pulled up the pull-out table connected to the chair, and set her laptop on top. Next thing, she grabbed her phone from her back pocket, since it went off silently a few times. It was important to keep prompt communication with clients, and even more so with Lapis, even though neither one exactly enjoyed texting. All the more reason to message back as soon as possible.

There was one message from Lapis, suggesting meeting later. The other was from Jasper.

Jasper never texted her, unless in group messages. This was likely the first time the buff girl made an effort into texting only her. Peridot wondered what she could want from her. They were not especially close. Opening the message, she was even more surprised to see it was not brief.

_“Hey P, I wanted to not only apologize for this weekend, but thank you (as well as Lapis and Lars) for helping. Also sorry if it came across like I was making fun of you in class. I didn’t intend it to come across that way. Going off another thought, we should go out and chill sometime. Maybe go down to the University Village and grab a beer. Let me know if that works.”_

Peridot did not expect that at all. As much as she wanted to just ignore it and let it pass, she could not. That would only make it awkward back at the Temple. Maybe instead of just her and Jasper hanging out, they could all go out as a group and do something not involving alcohol.

After pondering for the first half an hour of class, Peridot typed, _“For sure, when works best with you?”_

Her phone buzzed immediately after. _“Tonight?”_

Peridot let out an audible sigh. _“Sure.”  
_   __  


* * *

 

The rest of the day went by rather quickly. In her remaining classes, Peridot’s mind was occupied with the copious amounts of work she had to finish, and of course, Lapis Lazuli.

Her mind went back to that morning, where she spent the night at the blue haired girl’s place. Like a movie, she thought about how she turned around after changing into her clothes, to see Lapis giving her a very seductive look in bed. Instead of leaving like she had, Peridot wanted to go right over there, lean in, and kiss her. Hard. Then Lapis, like the falling tide, would pull her in completely, never to escape. Not being able to take it anymore, Peridot’s hand rode up underneath Lapis’ shirt, feeling her firm stomach soft as silk. She wanted her. There would be no running away this time, she would take Lapis completely, make the girl hers. Sucking a groan out of the tan girl, her spare hand slowly glided down to her running shorts, playing around the waistband to tease her.

At the provocative touch, Lapis grinded into Peridot’s hand, only to encourage her to go further. Beneath her, the blonde could feel the girl’s legs tense up at each movement. Letting go of her lips, Lapis moaned breathily, “Please.”

“Please, what?” Peridot knew exactly what, but she wanted to hear confirmation from Lapis herself.

“Touch me,” at those words Lapis grabbed Peridot’s hand, fishing for her two fingers, before pushing them inside.

“Peridot.”

The blonde came back into reality. “Huh? What?” Immediately out of embarrassment, she moved her eyes away from the girl’s lips and looked up.

“Were you listening?” Lapis chuckled. They were sitting outside at one of the tables, eating lunch they ordered from the school food truck.

Caught red-handed.

“Sorry Lapis, it’s been sort of a long day and my mind has been sort of preoccupied,” not a total lie, but there was no way in hell she would tell Lapis what she was actually thinking. Not wanting to come off as a jerk for not hearing Lapis, Peridot continued, “I do want to hear about how everything is going in your classes. Is that guy in your table group still trying to hit on you?”

This time Peridot was present for every word, managing to not think such lewd thoughts about Lapis for the rest of her day. Just the thought of kissing the blue haired girl turned her on. But how could she think of that, when all they have done is hug and hold hands? They were adults now, not twelve years old. But she was afraid to go any further, because of what she considered a stupid reason.

When she lived back on the east coast and going to high school, she had fallen in love with a girl in her class. Of course fate had them sitting next to each other for the three classes they were in, so naturally they became good friends. At least what Peridot considered to be good friends, which probably was not much since she never really had any real friendships before. Her name was Rainbow Quartz.

She was taller than Peridot, about five foot ten, and usually wore vintage 80’s clothes. Rainbow Quartz, who went by Rainbow, had big, beautiful blue eyes and long blonde hair. Unlike Peridot, she worked out every day, usually hot yoga and running around the track. Whenever home life or work life got hard, she would escape to Rainbow’s place, leaving everything far in the dust. The girl had a tendency to make Peridot forget.

But there was one dilemma, which stopped Peridot from expressing any feelings towards her.

She had a boyfriend.

Rainbow was completely straight, at least to Peridot’s knowledge. And her boyfriend as far as she was concerned, was the biggest asshole she ever met.

On multiple occasions he cheated on her, but Rainbow loyally never left. On every single occasion, Peridot was always there to be by her side, listening to all the drama, though she herself stayed out of everything. The green eyed girl did not care to get involved in any sort of immature situations. So she watched from afar as Rainbow, strong and happy as she was when they first met, deteriorated out of desperation, becoming seriously depressed. She started doing hard drugs and selling her prescription medication for extra cash, though she did not really need it.

Her boyfriend over time only allowed her to hang out with his friends after school. Even so, they would hang out but not as often. Then finally after she graduated, a class before her, she vanished entirely, leaving Peridot in the dust.

For so long, Peridot wanted Rainbow to be her first kiss, would have fantasies where she would propose to her. And every thought, every feeling, all of that was crushed into a million shards. Never did she have the chance to be honest and tell the blue eyed girl how she really felt.   

That was when Peridot gave up completely, dedicating everything to her studies and work. She would become what she did, willingly so. And she would be happy. Her grades and her work for Diamond was not affected in any way. By her own graduation, she even managed to get a GPA higher than a 4.0, along with that full ride to Beach City University on the west coast.

But nobody besides the casual “good job” at work actually cared or really congratulated her about those accomplishments, though everyone knew about it. Her colleagues and coworkers kept an arm’s length distance from her in intimidation. Well, it probably was not just intimidation but also that no one actually knew her, Peridot figured. Rainbow, before her disappearance, was the only girl she was ever friends with. But in a strange way, Peridot was completely alright being the girl nobody ever knew.

Until Lapis and her housemates had to waltz their way into her life. Now every time Peridot wanted to get physically close with the blue haired girl. But that wretched little voice inside her brain screamed “no,” that she gave Rainbow her heart long ago, and vowed never to give it to another. The blonde hated that voice. She was completely over her first friend. The only time she thought about her was when Lapis would make a move. Was she still holding on to this?

This was the question Peridot needed to ask herself, before asking Lapis to be her girlfriend. Did she still care for Rainbow after all those years, or was it because she never had a break to come clean?

Later that evening, the thought came up again when Peridot and Jasper went out to the local sports bar five minutes away, to grab beers. They sat at a table near the corner, away from all the pool tables, where all the frat boys were being obnoxious.

“I’ll just take a water.”

“Really?” Jasper said in response, after hearing Peridot order at the bar. “You sure you don’t want a beer? It’s on me.”

Peridot considered this before asking the waiter, “Do you have food here?”

Jasper ended up with an IPA, while Peridot hungrily scarfed down a basket of seven barbeque boneless wings. What could she say, she had not eaten since lunchtime.

“I just don’t feel like drinking, that’s all,” Peridot said to justify her decision.

“And that’s totally cool. Now that I see what you have there, I’m getting sort of hungry too,” she paused a bit before continuing. “By the way, I don’t normally say these things, but I really appreciated you, Lapis, and Lars for helping me. I don’t even remember how I ended up there or what exactly I took, but it kind of put a damper on everything.”

_That was an understatement._

“It happens,” Peridot did not know how often it happened, but it was becoming more frequent.

But Jasper continued, “To be honest, ah,” she scratched the back of her neck. “I don’t really say these kind of things to people, but right now I’m going through a rough spot. It feels like I’ve fallen into a dark crevice and can’t get out, ‘ya know?”

The first thing Peridot thought of was Rainbow, and her whole experience living back home.

“I work out every day, I have fun people in my life, everything should be going great,” Jasper slumped. “I don’t have an idea why I feel down, but the other night it sorta just got to me, and that’s why I apparently ended up drugged along with some random homeless dude.” She snickered, “In a sad way it’s kind of funny. Anyway, just thought you deserved to know. I guess this is my way of apologizing. You can tell Lapis and Lars if you want.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Like I said, it happens.” Dare she share anything personal as well? With none other than Jasper? “I understand where you’re coming from. Before moving to Beach City for college, I was in that place too. But I was going through some things which I left behind me after the move.” Yes she was.

“What kind of things?” Jasper said out of curiosity. She did not appear to have any malicious intent, where she would gossip to her cousin or make fun of her.

“Well, a good friend of mine randomly disappeared back in high school and it hit be hard. We were good friends.”

“She doesn’t sound like a good friend to me.”

_What?_

“What? How can you say that?” Where did this burst come from?

“Hey I don’t know her Peridot! All I know is if someone abandons you like that, they must have not been a quality friend in the first place.”

Peridot calmed down, realizing how this response could be taken totally wrong. “I… I’m sorry. I don’t usually share things with people.”

“Neither do I, join the club. We’ve got brownies. Who knows where we got them.”

At this the green eyed girl laughed, genuinely this time.

“Another moment of honesty,” Peridot continued, “I was in love with this girl.”

Jasper stopped drinking her IPA in mid sip. “Really.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s what made it a hard time in the first place. But I’m over it.”

“Really?” Why was Jasper trying to pry everything out of her?

“At least I think. It was years ago, and I’m dating Lapis now. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way towards anyone before Lapis.”

“I can tell,” Jasper agreed.

“Wait is it that obvious?” There was some major déjà vu going on right now.

“It’s not exactly inconspicuous, Lapis included.”

“Anyway, I’ve wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend for some time…”

“So formal,” Jasper teased, in a friendly way. “Aren’t you already?”

“We haven’t talked about our relationship officially yet, so no. I really, really, do like her, but I’m sort of afraid now that after thinking about it, I’m not ready for any of this. This relationship stuff is all new to me, plus I feel like those things that I ditched years ago come back once in a while to annoy me.”

The taller girl thought about this. Pool balls cracked on the other side of the bar and pop music played loudly, filling the silence. “I think you should tell her what you told me. It’s probably good if you define your relationship sooner than later. We all fall into holes like this, trust me I know. But in your kind of situation, you just can’t let it but you anymore. This girl was bluntly a dick, and by my understanding doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’re too kind,” Peridot said sarcastically, not in a mean way. What Jasper said made sense. This was not anything to be worried about anymore, she only needed to talk to Lapis. And now she felt totally confident.

“I know.” Jasper took another sip of her beer, almost finished. Peridot planned on asking Jasper more about herself, feeling a bit more comfortable talking about personal things in general. “I think this is going to be my last beer for a while, see you have a good influence on me. How ‘bout another round of wings?”


	12. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot finally asks Lapis the question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry if I didn't update the past week. I've been working 40+ hours a week, my relatives came to town, and the gal I'm with left for a trip. Needless to say, the past few weeks were very busy and somewhat stressful. Thank you for your encouragement so far! 
> 
> I'm pretty sure I said this before, but I post about a chapter a week (a week and a half if I'm super stressed with work). I have every intent on finishing First to Fall, and vow I won't just drop the story altogether "because I got bored/tired." That is a promise, since I know how it's going to end anyway. :P 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Everything is so green!”

With windows rolled down, they were driving in Peridot’s car around the rolling bluffs. There was a sudden burst of rain the night before, flooding the dryland. Reacting desperately, the plants perked up and the foliage around them turned green. Peridot could not remember the last time she saw Beach City this green, though even compared to back east, it was nowhere near the same par. The smell of last night’s shower engulfed them inside the car, overwhelming their senses. It smelled fresh and clear.

Lapis was sticking her head out the window, as Peridot drove along the two lane road. They were the only car on the road. Her blue hair ruffled in the wind, blowing in all sorts of different directions. The sun beaming down through the clouds landed tenderly on her face, giving her usually tanned skin a soft, bright glow.

Today was a good day.

And it was going to become an even better day.   

The highway turned into city streets, and they drove through a little beach town on the outskirts of Beach City. Most of the houses looked like old shacks, with classic beach decoration like stylized old surfboards and plastic flamingos. Many of these houses had motorcycles and small scooters parked in the lots.

Making a turn left, they went up the hill through a nicer, built up neighborhood. They drove along the street until it turned into a dead end and turned into a parking lot for a trail. They were near the top of the short mountain, and had a crystal clear view down of the beach, which was no more than a mile or two out.

Peridot picked this hike specifically, because it was supposed to have a great view. It was given the name “the highest point in the world,” though it was only in nickname. Checking online before leaving, the area had several trails along the bluffs, and to the top of the small mountain. The blonde could not remember the last time she ever went hiking, but Lapis mentioned a few days before how she loved doing things outdoors, especially near the beach.

They parked the car in the half filled lot, and she pulled the lever to pop the back trunk. Lapis wore extremely short navy shorts and a white, tight tank-top. Her electric blue sports bra showed through underneath. Around her neck, she wore a vintage choker which seemed to come back in style around campus.

Peridot just had on a homemade muscle tee, where she cut off the sleeves of her shirt from shoulder to waist. She had on running shorts, knee socks and running shoes, and put her hair partially up. At home she hesitated whether to put on her makeup, but decided to anyway.

She was going to ask Lapis to become her girlfriend.  

After hanging out with Jasper, she contemplated for a long time whether or not it was a good idea at all. They both needed to make a choice, since they were seeing each other almost every day and over a month had passed. Was she in fact still holding on to her past, and Rainbow Quartz’s disappearance? She used to be in love with her, yes, but it was way back in high school. What she felt then was real, and could vaguely remember the high of butterflies she got whenever they hung out. But was that feeling how she defined love? She felt that same way about Lapis, though it did not happen nearly as much, there was something added to that feeling. It was deeper than just the quick, temporary flutter, but a genuine desire to be there for her. And rather than that feeling being brushed off, like with Rainbow, it was reciprocated with Lapis. This feeling, whatever it was, was not just one sided. It was familiar, yet dissimilar. With Rainbow, Peridot deep down always knew a romantic relationship would never work. But with Lapis, as much as she hesitated, inside she knew it would.

As they walked up the narrow trail along a cliff’s edge, Lapis talked to the blonde about her work. She would share with Peridot all the details of what it’s like to work at a club, as well as the horror stories. Peridot was very much entertained with those, and hearing how Lapis handled all kinds of awkward situations. The blue haired girl sure knew how to tell an engaging story.

“Right now trying to juggle both school and work is starting to tire me out. Perhaps it’s the kind of work I do, running around all the time, sometimes not able to even take breaks. But still, it’s not like I could just quit.”

“Why don’t you find a different job, one that’s more sedentary? Would that be easier?”

“Well, it would call for me to work in the day and conflict with classes. That was one big reason why I applied for this job, because I would have long hours without having to battle with my school schedule. There’s always fast food… but I need something which pays a little more than minimum wage. And usually fast food chains force their employees to refuse tips, if their lucky enough to even get a tip. And frankly, I never have enough time to invest in applying to other jobs.”

“I admire how you work so hard.”

“I have to.”

“But do you really need to?” Peridot continued. “You mentioned you had school and housing covered, that you did not really need to work. You don’t have to stress yourself out, if you’re getting to that point.”

Lapis sighed. She looked down at the dirt path, with sad eyes. “I have to.”

The blonde hesitated slightly, “Is it okay if I ask why?”

“I suppose you can call it my way of feeling independent, sort of a pride thing really,” she laughed, but Peridot felt there was more to it than just that. “I’ve always been working ever since middle school, so it would feel really weird if I decided to just stop during college.”

“Since middle school? How does that even happen?”

“Connections,” Lapis turned her head to look at Peridot and winked.

“I can relate, I started working my freshman year of high school.” Peridot wanted to stop there, and hoped Lapis would change the subject. She did not.

“What did you do?”

“Um well it’s a long story really.”

“We’ve got time.”

“It was not very interesting work…”

“Please?” She eagerly batted her eyes flirtatiously.

“Well, I guess… How do I begin,” Peridot rubbed her forehead and averted her eyes. “So,” the blonde prolonged the word, “you know how my last name is Diamond?”

“Yeah we talked about it before, how it’s also my mom’s maiden name and went back to it after my dad left.”

“It’s a pretty uncommon last name, and growing up people always compared my last name to the company.”

“Diamond?”

“Yeah. Anyway, like you I grew up in a wealthier home, over on the east coast. But it wasn’t a normal growing up experience. I… ugh I don’t know how to explain it without it sounding like a complete lie!” Peridot said frustrated.

“It’s okay Peridot, you don’t have to say it,” she sounded disappointed.

“No, no, it’s just… my first job was at Diamond as a software engineer, because my mom is the CEO.”

“You’re kidding!” Lapis laughed but when she saw Peridot’s face, it changed. “You’re not kidding. Are you serious? That’s like saying your mom invented the lightbulb!”

“I know,” The blonde covered her eyes with her hands. “I didn’t want anyone to know, because I don’t want to be seen as just that; the daughter of the CEO of Diamond, everywhere I go. I’m tired of being associated with my mom, and trust me, she’s not a nice person.” She covered her mouth in shock of what she just said. “I’m sorry, I said too much! I just didn’t want to hold it from you any longer. You don’t know what it’s like, I-”

“No,” Lapis took Peridot’s hand, and pulled her close, faces just inches apart.  

“Lapis…”

“I knew you were holding something in, and that wasn’t easy for you,” she was not whispering but her face was so proximate to her own, it felt like she was. “It means a lot that you told me.” Did Lapis know how fast Peridot’s chest was beating? It’s like the violet eyed girl had a sixth sense for this sort of thing.

She moved away, and Peridot felt air come back into her lungs. Every single time Lapis pulled one of those moves, the blond would pathetically keel from it. A mirror was not needed for her to know that she was positively red in the face.

“Do your friends know?”

“No.”

“Does anyone?”

“Back where I grew up, people in high school and at work knew. You could say I was sort of treated differently there. Life was different, but that’s all in the past now. I like my life here, right now. It’s not a big part of my life anymore,” Peridot brushed it off.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I would’ve believed you, and wouldn’t have saw you any differently than I do now.”

“I… I don’t know,” the blonde heavily sighed. “I say it’s no big deal, but I still think about it. I wanted to tell you earlier, but didn’t know how. It’s not exactly the easiest thing to explain. I admit I was afraid you would see me differently. It sounds weird, but I wanted to be seen as just a regular person, whatever regular is. Without my famous mom around, I can take advantage of starting fresh here on my own. As you can imagine, my mom surveilled me a lot.”

“No kidding. Do I even want to know?”

“Yes and no.”

Lapis nodded, “Well I definitely do. But you already know that. So are you going to tell me the rest?”

“The rest?” Peridot’s voice slightly cracked. “The rest of what?”

“Your story,” the taller girl said eagerly. “You know, you’re so mysterious.”

What did Lapis Lazuli even mean by “mysterious?” Peridot’s mind scanned through all the definitions of the word and ways it could be interpreted, but realized after a few seconds in thought she was contemplating too much.

Backfiring the comment, “So are you,” the blonde massaged the back of her neck. “We spend so much time together, and well, there’s so much I still don’t know about you.” She quickly added with frantic hand waving, “But that’s not a bad thing! I just, want to understand you better, where you come from.”

“I don’t know where to start myself, honestly. I can relate to you, in a different way.” Was Lapis finally going to open up? If she sensed that Peridot was keeping something from her, then her own wonderings might not be too far off. “It’s a bit of a story.”

“We have time right now, nobody’s around.”

“May I tell you tomorrow?” Lapis asked. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you about it, I really do. There’s just a lot to explain, things that you deserve to know about my life. And it’s such a beautiful day hiking with you so far, and I’d rather not put a damper on things. Is that alright with you?” She sounded so sincere and slightly apologetic, making the blonde feel guilty for even pressing the subject. Of course, Lapis urged her on about her own history. But she ended up not going into specifics. If Lapis felt comfortable sharing about her own life, then Peridot had to be on the same page. Though she wanted to tell Lapis more, she also needed to know for certain Lapis felt equally as safe. Now the blue haired girl presented Peridot with an “okay,” that she one hundred percent trusted her. She hoped. She did not want to move things too fast, not knowing what “fast” was in the first place. And ironically, today she was going to ask Lapis to officially go steady.”

“Whatever you’re okay with.”

They reached the top five minutes later, and the view did not disappoint.

“Amazing,” she said almost in a whisper.

But Peridot’s eyes were not fixed on the landscape, instead at Lapis’ figure. The blue haired girl gazed down at the world around them with a pure fascination.

“Amazing is right.”

It was just them at the top. They had passed by a few parties and a hiking group, but the trail remained pretty empty for such a lovely day. There was also a summer festival happening downtown, so perhaps that was where everyone was. Beach City was all about their festivals.

She was beautiful. Her face shone with awe while absorbing the sight of the world below. The way Lapis expressed emotion was entirely different from how Peridot conveyed it. First of all, Lapis was never afraid to. If she was happy or upset, it was evident, at least to the blonde. Peridot could only wish she was more comfortable with her feelings. She was gentle, never forcing Peridot to do anything, apart from her occasional pranks like pulling her into a pool. Every word which she spoke was as smooth as glass. But like glass, she could also crack. And when she did, Peridot wanted to be there for her regardless. Lapis was enigmatic, alluring, surprising, with also a very kind heart. She was a siren, and Peridot was ready to drown with her.

“Lapis,” Peridot reached for her hand from behind, weaving their fingers together. “I’ve wanted to ask you for some time now.” Lapis did not say anything, but listened while gazing into Peridot’s bright green eyes. “We’ve been dating for some time now, and I was curious to see where you think this is going.”

“You know I’m not dating anyone else.”

“I’m not either.”

“I still want to date you, but I understand if this is the end.”

“Wait,” the blonde let that sink in. “The end? No, I’m not ending anything!” Peridot’s voice gave an embarrassing crack, and she covered her mouth quickly with both hands. “Why would you even think that?”

“You sounded just so formal, I wasn’t sure if you were breaking it off. Maybe it’s a total misinterpretation, but you squeam a little every time we just hold hands. I’m not sure if it’s because of me, if my palms were sweaty, or if you’re just uncomfortable with it. We haven’t even kissed yet, and we’ve been dating for almost a month and a half.”

“You want to kiss me?”

“Of course I want to kiss you. I have since the day we met. But I don’t want to push anything with you, so I’ve refrained,” she chuckled. “I’m super attracted to you, I thought you knew that.”

“I did… I do, I-,” what could she say in her defense? Nothing. There was no reason to be defensive, after all it was miscommunication. Clearing her throat, Peridot restarted, “I’m sorry Lapis, and thanks for telling me.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“But I do. Since I met _you,_ I’ve wanted to kiss you, not just be your friend. I want that so much. You are so much better with expressing emotion than I am, like stating how you’re feeling and if something annoys you. That’s not my forte. And now I realize this whole time, it was all misperception. We’ve never really talked about it at all, but _I_ want to. No way in hell are you _gross_. If anyone is the gross one, I am. You always smell wonderful, and look gorgeous 24/7. I’m not uncomfortable with you at all. You’re one of the only people I do feel totally comfortable with. It’s more that I’m not comfortable with myself. I’m afraid I’ll come off as a complete nerd or do something embarrassing in front of you.”

“Why do you even think that? It’s adorable! It’s part of what makes you _you._ And so what if you’re into more nerdy things, so am I! It’s nice to be with someone who has similar interests. You always seem so grounded in yourself, and that’s something I love about you.     

“So I’m not a complete embarrassment to you?”

“ _Peridot, no!”_

Peridot sighed. “Sorry.”

“And you don’t need to apologize all the time. You’re doing nothing wrong,” Lapis said kindly, pulling closer.

“So… where do we go from here?” Peridot followed the blue haired girl’s lead. Performing a huge leap, the shorter girl wrapped her arms around Lapis’ skinny waist, taking initiative to press their bodies together. Now they were seeing eye-to-eye.

“How about you kiss me first, and we’ll find out afterwards?”

Peridot was redder than a firetruck now. She nodded, and when Lapis leaned in, she closed her eyes.

Even though she was aware of every moment, Lapis’ lips on her own came as a surprise. She did not expect kissing to feel this way, though she could not imagine beforehand what it actually felt like. Though her slips were soft Lapis kissed in an entirely confident way, though slowly. Everything around the blonde was melting. Mind going numb, Peridot did not stop after a minute, influenced by some suppressed, unknown, primal instinct to keep going. This was her first kiss with a girl, but it felt more than natural. It felt right. It felt safe.

The blue haired girl had small lips, but sure knew how to use them. Same went with her hands. They trailed up and down Peridot’s back, teasing her. Enticing her more than she would like to admit. Every movement was so loving and so sure. There was no possible way Peridot could be Lapis’ first kiss. The taller girl reeked of experience.  

A small part inside Peridot’s head screamed out, that she was too inexperienced for her, that Lapis would soon realize the blonde was not yet on her level. And leave. But for once, the shorter girl pushed those anxious thoughts aside. They were not true. Lapis said it herself, that she was attracted to Peridot. The fact that they were still dating and that she had not left was enough proof.

Lapis was the one who broke the kiss. “Woah,” she breathed.

“Woah is right.”

“So,” she said rather flirtatiously, “where do you want to go from here.”

“Forward, preferably. Lapis, would you be my girlfriend?”

Her face radiated beautifully with joy. “Of course!”

Not losing their grip on each other they kissed again, this time with more assurance. She really could get used to this. Kissing Lapis was more addictive than any hard liquor Amethyst attempted to pour down her throat, though she was nowhere near being an alcoholic. She tasted as sweet as she smelled, and the scent of plumerias engulfed her thoughts.  

They were so firmly pressed together, Peridot could feel Lapis’ phone go off in her pack. But it did not stop ringing after the first and then second missed calls.

“Perfect timing,” Lapis said sarcastically as she reached inside of her pack. Fishing for her phone, she pulled it out, and checked to see who had rudely interrupted their moment. When she saw the caller ID on the third call, Lapis’ face dropped, and Peridot automatically knew something was wrong.

“I have to get this,” Lapis told her apologetically, and answered.

They were in for a long day.  


	13. Powerless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read da notes!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS BEFORE
> 
> This chapter is pretty intense and possibly triggering for those dealing with suicidal thoughts, or who have people in their lives that are suicidal. Though I was fine writing it, it did feel heavy at times even for me. If you are hesitant in the slightest to read it, read the summary first which I have written out in the link below, which is explained in most non-triggering way I knew how. If any of it does affect you, please let me know. 
> 
> READ SUMMARY HERE:   
> http://dontmindthedinosaur.tumblr.com/post/146879168647/chapter-13-of-first-to-fall

The drive over took an hour and a half southeast, the opposite direction of home. Taking an exit off the freeway, they were officially in the outskirts of Beach City, and not much was around them. Only cheap businesses like car washes, self storages, and grocery stores passed by them now. The never-stopping city was left behind them, and they were reaching the desert. There were many beautiful places in the Golden State, but here was certainly not one of them.

For the whole drive, Peridot never let go of Lapis’ hand.

Back at the peak of where they hiked to, both girls were surprised they were even able to get reception. When Lapis answered at the third call, Peridot watched her face drop and nothing needed to be said to know something was wrong.

“I don’t know how soon I can be there,” Lapis spoke into her phone. “In a few hours, maybe.” She listened to the other line giving out some directions, which Peridot overheard from the static voice, due to the call volume turned up so loud.

“Thanks, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” the tan girl repeated, said a shaky goodbye, and hung up.

She turned to the blonde, “It’s my mom.”

“Is she okay?” Peridot said immediately.

“As much as I want to say yes, she’s not. I need to go to the hospital. The call was the receptionist letting me know about my mom’s condition, and that she requested to see me.”

“Let’s go now,” Peridot was not one for standing around and wasting time, whatever the situation was. During the hike down, Lapis explained more of the details.

“You know how I’ve told you my mom has some health issues? A few years ago she was admitted to a psych ward, when none of us knew how to help her. I was only in high school and Malachite had disappeared before this time. I was all she really had, and I did not know what to do. Admitting her in was not ultimately my choice, but it was not hers either. Back then, she was a bit out of control.

“I came home one day from high school, it was just another normal day. My mom at the time was working from home, since her job allowed her to. But when I walked in the door, she was not there at her computer, like she would normally be at that time. She was not anywhere in the house. There was no note, though she’s never one for notes anyway. I thought it was a bit odd, but decided to touch base and call her cell. She ended my call on the first ring, and on my second time she let it ring to the voicemail. After sending a text to see what’s up, she just sent me one word: Bye.” Lapis could not look at Peridot in the eye, and vice versa. If Peridot even glanced at Lapis, she was sure her emotions would gain the upper hand.

“I didn’t wait for a reply to see what she meant by that. I called 911 the second after. And you know where the police tracked her number to? A train yard. She was just going to hop on a train and disappear, because something inside told her it was right. When we found her, she was lying down on the tracks, like a damsel in destress from a shitty western film.” The blue haired girl said it with bitterness. “The police had to arrest her since she was technically trespassing, and when they took her in, they also did an evaluation of her state. She had three options: jail time, rehab, because she was on something other than her anti-depressant, or be hospitalized. They convinced her to seek treatment at the hospital. I knew it would be ultimately for the best, since I could not always be there to watch her at home. She’s been at the ward ever since then.”

“What happened to her now?” She could see Lapis’ eyes get slightly watery when she asked. Peridot wished she had said something else.

“She attempted suicide, and is at the hospital getting treated. She has not woken up yet since she fell asleep on her hospital bed.” The way she said it was so blunt and straightforward, even for Lapis.

Peridot was not intimidated, but she did not know what to say. What, that she was _sorry_? That she deserved better? Nothing seemed appropriate, and the blonde was no psychology major to recognize the best response. There were so many thoughts going through her head, as well as an aching urge to reply or even simply acknowledge Lapis in _some_ fashion. But she did not. In these kind of speechless moments, which occurred rarely, Peridot acted outside her character and kept shut. Listening to her while the blue haired girl drove, she did not say a word, praying for Lapis to not hate her.

Remembering their hike down the mountain, Lapis said very clearly to her, “You don’t have to come along. I don’t want to bring you into this, especially right after you asked me to be your girlfriend. That would be unfair.”

But Peridot was stubborn, and reassured her it was fine. “For a good portion of my life, I never had anyone around when things got difficult. I know how I felt during those times, and I just…,” she took a sigh, “…I just don’t want you to go through that too.”

“Oh Peridot,” Lapis cupped the smaller girl’s bicep. “I already have.”

“But you don’t have to, not anymore.”

Lapis stared off into the distance, into the ever sparkling ocean. “…Okay. But since you drove here, let me drive to the hospital since I know the directions. I’ll pay for gas.”

“You don’t have to do that, pay for gas I mean.”

“I want to.”

“I’ll prevent you from doing any such thing.”

“I’ll do whatever I want Lapis,” she said with a certain tone of voice, which made Lapis giggle. But laughing also brought out a tear, which she choked back. Lapis was likely in a very emotional state, and holding it all in for Peridot’s sake. Maybe even her own.

_Please don’t hate me Lapis, I just want to be there for you._

Now they were pulling up to the hospital parking lot. Finding a space to park was surprisingly easy, and Peridot said a quick _thanks_ inside of her head.

“Are you sure you want to come in? You can just wait in your car and take a nap. I’m not sure how long it will be.”

“Lapis.”

“Sorry, I forgot how stubborn you can be. You win this one, since I don’t have the energy to argue anyway,” she shrugged.

Why did it feel like the tan girl was pushing her away? They only became official a few hours ago, and already, things were not looking so bright. Was she being too insistent? Or did Lapis just not want Peridot with her at all? Then she had a sudden realization. This was not about her or Lapis at all. This was about Lapis’ mom, who was in the hospital. Getting the call from the hospital probably took Lapis back to high school, when her mother was admitted into the ward. And today everything escalated again, including all those memories. How could she think so selfishly in the first place? Had she rushed into their relationship too fast? This could well be a sign that she was not ready for a relationship.

Living on her own for so long, Peridot was still getting used to having people in her life again. Thinking outside herself was not something she was completely used to, since it served as a mental survival method since the day she realized her mother did not care. She did not like to think of herself as a selfish person. Technically everyone is selfish to some degree. But being by herself for so long, it was harder to see outside herself. Now that Lapis and her other friends were part of her life, her worldview was changing.

It hit her like an anvil which fell from the sky. Everything in her life was shifting. Though she liked it and even encouraged it, it also terrified her. Routine was what pulled her out of her high school and community college misery, as well as the heartbreak over Rainbow Quartz. Now she was gambling with her emotions, and becoming too attached to a girlfriend and friends who could decide to leave any time.

This change was not bad, she prayed. But the last time she experienced a large change, this case with Rainbow, she was left in the cold. Every other major change in her life never turned out well. With routine, she could have some control. But suddenly, everything about her own life seemed boring, unappealing. That was what it stayed since the beginning to the present. Next to her was Lapis, the girl who was reshaping her life, which Peridot accepted.

Lapis was sweet as she was daunting. Though similar in some aspects, they were different still in many ways. The tan girl was more confident and able to speak her mind, which Peridot appreciated. She was familiar, yet remarkably dissimilar. But deep down, Lapis Lazuli was a good person with a very kind and sensitive heart. That right there was something Peridot cherished, making any unfamiliar change resulting from being with Lapis worth it. Being around Lapis made all her anxieties about the future dwindle to almost nothing.    

Inside the emergency lobby, the first thing Peridot noticed was the smell; bland, sterile, and smelling of sick people. Pale art devoid of all saturation and reference to people hung on the walls, and contemporary sculptures giving zero clues to interpretation sat on every other table. The flowers on the reception counter were real, providing the only source of color in the room. The receptionist, who was young, good-looking, and very well dressed, frantically typed at her computer. No doubt work was stressing her out.

Lapis waited with Peridot by her side, behind the sign instructing them to stay a certain distance from the counter. By the time ten minutes passed, the blonde could tell Lapis was getting antsy and slightly annoyed, yet did not say anything. Her hands felt warmer than usual.

The receptionist looked over, looking Lapis straight in the eyes. _As if_ helping people was a burden. “Can I help you?”

Tugging Peridot’s hand, Lapis took the blonde with her to the counter. “I received a call about my mother, Blue Diamond, who was admitted to the emergency center a few hours ago. She requested to see me, and I came as soon as I could.”

“I’m sorry, there are no visitor hours at the moment.”

Lapis lowered her voice, as if to remain cool and collected. “I checked online and it said otherwise.”

“That’s for non-emergency patients. If you want to visit your mother, you’ll have to wait an hour once the shift change is over.”

“I’m sorry,” she said a bit baffled, “but my mom _requested_ to see me. She just attempted suicide, and I have no idea what condition she’s in.”

“Look, I’m just doing my job. I don’t make the rules. When the next doctor comes in, I’ll let them know. Sign in here with your name, signature, time, and date, so we have it on record.”

Lapis pressed the pen hard against the paper and surface of the counter, writing her information down without saying a word. Peridot followed suit. She led Peridot to the well section, where they took seats in the corner. The chairs, though of modernistic design like the rest of the building, were uncomfortable and offered no back support. Waiting in silence, Peridot found herself dozing off, resting her head on Lapis’ shoulder. When she awoke, the doctor who was taking care of Blue Diamond came back on shift, and called for them.

“This is my girlfriend Peridot,” Lapis told the doctor. “She’s with me.”

“Not a problem, though if you brought two people, one of them would have to remain in the lobby because of your mother’s condition.”

Peridot only listened to the two conversing back and forth, without speaking a word.

“What’s her condition? They never told me details over the phone.”

“Unfortunately, not good.” The three of them stopped at a doorway. “Likely she will recover, but worst case scenario she will suffer brain damage, some internal damage, and possibly scarring. After taking half a bottle of pain relievers, she attempted to hang herself from the plumbing fixture in the bathroom. She and her roommate shared the bathroom at the ward, with two other patients living in a room on the other side. It unsure how the pain relievers were snuck in to the facility, but the fact that she had them in her possession should be looked into. If her roommate hadn’t found her on the ground and called the staff, it likely would have gone through. Does your mother have any other family around, perhaps siblings or cousins?”

“No. There’s my older sister, but we haven’t heard from her in years.”

“I apologize, that was a personal question to ask. I was going to recommend if she has any friends or family members she’s close to, they could be an effective support system.”

“I’ll check through her phone book next time I visit her house.”

“Another thing to consider. The psychiatric ward held total care of your mother, when she attempted. By law you are entitled to open a case and even potentially sue the ward for malpractice, since staff was assigned to come by her door every fifteen minutes, but failed to the last hour. However recent studies show that fifteen minute check-ins for suicidal psychiatric inpatients can be counterproductive, and aren’t as accurate in evaluating at-risk patients. But it still a design practice they were upholding to, and when they hadn’t come, your mother’s roommate informed our medical staff about that. It may be something to look into.”

Lapis looked at Peridot, giving her a sad glance. Peridot knew Lapis would not be the type to sue, as she did not have the time and energy, nor need the money. She was just heartbroken over the whole situation. As the doctor kept on talking, the blonde felt increasingly overwhelmed.

Turning back to the doctor, Lapis asked, “Do you mind providing me with a list of psychiatric ward referrals, and maybe a referral list for psychiatrists as well? Or at least places you would recommend?”

“Of course. I’ll provide you with all that information to you before you leave. I’m assuming you’re her primary contact from what you’ve said.”

Lapis nodded, and the doctor seemed to make note of this as he spoke. “Just to inform you, a nurse is assigned to keep close watch on all attempt patients, until they are let go, reassigned, or released to the ward. Depending on her mental and physical condition, we usually keep patients from a few days to three weeks. In your mother’s case, we recommend keeping her in for at least a week. It looks like your mother’s insurance listed here covers her stay.”

 _That’s some good insurance,_ Peridot thought. With her work, it did not exactly provide full insurance. But with what she was making, if she had to check in to the hospital for a few days it would not be a huge hit. Hopefully it would never have to come to that. But the smaller girl saved a mental note in the back of her head to do research on insurance companies out there.

The doctor scribbled a few notes and checked a box off on a sheet, and he and Lapis exchanged a few more words. “And if you need assistance you can go up to the counter, or have your mom press the button on the bed to call non-urgent aid.”

Lapis nodded and thanked the doctor, as he rushed off to the next patient waiting.

No words were exchanged between the two girls. They heard it all from the doctor’s mouth. Letting go of Peridot’s hand, Lapis moved forward first, slowly into the room. There Blue Diamond lay asleep on the hospital bed with scrubs on. Besides breathing, she did not move at all.

As for appearance, Lapis did not resemble her mother, though they did have the same tan skin. Blue Diamond also held that same natural beauty as her girlfriend, though in a different way and apart from being in a critical state. She was not what Peridot expected her to look like. Blue Diamond had a gentle and motherly face while she slept. Outside the hospital setting, Blue Diamond seemed like the type of person who enjoyed wearing nice clothes, getting expensive haircuts, and would put makeup on every day. Not too different than her own mom.

A nurse was in the corner with a clip board taking down notes, and held a book to the side of her. If the blonde had not heard the pen tap on the board, Peridot would not have noticed her right off the bat. Was the nurse even allowed to be reading on shift? Was she solely observing Blue Diamond, or the two of them as well? Peridot did not like the feeling of being watched at all. It gave her the heebie-jeebies.

“How long has she been asleep like this?” Lapis was now at the foot of the bed, facing the nurse to her left.

“Since she got here, which was only six hours ago or so. Three hours prior, she woke up only for a few minutes, and that’s when she mentioned your name.”

“We came as soon as we could when we got her request.”

“She did not request for you…” The nurse’s voice became uncomfortably small. “Again, she’s been asleep this whole time.”

Blue Diamond did not look like she was asleep or breathing at all, even though the monitor was beeping still. Sleeping was just a fancy nurse word to make light of her condition. But no one wanted to say it.

“Well then why on the phone did they say she did?”

“The staff at the ward overheard her say your name in the middle of an incomprehensible sentence, as she was being transferred over here prior to her screening. She had little energy to speak, and you were the only person she referenced. In her medical records, we saw you listed as her daughter and her emergency contact.”

“I see…”

Lapis never went any closer to her mother from where she already stood. All the taller girl did was observe from a distance, never wavering her stare. It was like she was hypnotically fixed on her mother’s blank slate of a face, expressionless and weak.

“When do you think she’ll wake up?” Lapis asked, without looking at the nurse. She said those words as if she was talking to herself.

“It’s unclear. If she’s lucky, within the same day. Fortunately for your mother, I’ve seen much worse.”

“Were there any clues as to why?”

“That is also being looked into by the ward staff as we speak.”

The blue haired girl did not say a word after that. The room was silent, apart from the consistent beeping of the monitor. The atmosphere made Peridot anxious, as if something terrible was going to take Blue Diamond by surprise. She wished she did not dwell on such distressing thoughts, but then again she was prone to overthinking.

As if Lapis could read Peridot’s mind, she said out of the blue, “Let’s go, and let her sleep.” As if Blue Diamond was already awake.

Once they were out of the room, Lapis started walking at a fast pace down the hall to the exit. She was normally a fast walker and so was Peridot, but she was moving faster than normal. Peridot spoke, “Don’t you want to stay longer?”

“I don’t need to.”

“But you came all this way, and she’s your family. We were only in the room for fifteen minutes. Don’t you want to wait around until she wakes up?”

“ _It’s okay, Peridot.”_  

The blonde shut up after that. She was having a lot of those silencing moments today, and by this time she was getting used to it. They did not acknowledge the receptionist lady at the counter, and went straight out the double doors to the parking lot. Once they came to Peridot’s car, the blonde insisted she drive by getting to the driver’s side first. Lapis did not complain nor care.

They went into the sedan car, and shut their doors almost exactly at the same time. Lapis did not look okay, despite what she said to her in the hallway. The girl looked as if she was about to have a breakdown, the way she stared into nothingness and her face was becoming flushed.

Peridot badly wanted to hug Lapis, hold her and say everything was going to work out. But did Lapis want that, or did she want to be alone? The green eyed girl felt so powerless and overcome with sorrow, when she scarcely knew Blue Diamond.

She did not start the engine. Both girls simply sat in the car in silence, in their own minds. When Peridot turned her head slightly to peek at her girlfriend, waves of tears streamed down her face as she cried in silence. Lapis looked like a different person when she cried, though definitely not any less beautiful. Her gentle violet irises turned electric when her eyes swelled, and even past her tears every facial feature was softened.

Not resisting any longer, Peridot put the palm of her hand on Lapis’ back. Instantly by the gesture, she broke into sobs and leaned towards Peridot, accepting her touch. Wrapping her arms around the girl, she held Lapis tight and securely. It was the only thing she had the power to do. In that moment, the blonde was completely determined to protect Lapis at all costs. The blue haired girl had experienced enough pain and hardship. She made up her mind to look after and support her unconditionally, whether Lapis already knew that or not.


	14. You're It!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis go on a double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was kicking myself the whole time while writing this. I started writing this chapter two weeks ago, and then was laid off. Ever since then, all I've been doing is applying to places. Thanks for being patient. :)

For another week or so, Blue Diamond was in the hospital. Within the first day she woke up from her overdose, and very delusional, from what was said by the doctor and nurses. Lapis went in again to see her a few days later, withholding the details of that visit from Peridot. Automatically, it was Peridot’s first instinct to believe Lapis did not trust her enough to confide with her. But a newer thought also said afterwards, that maybe it was simply hard to talk about everything in general, that Lapis needed time to clear her mind from it.

Lapis took Peridot’s advice and researched other reputable psychiatric wards around the general Beach City area. She even willingly looked outside to the cities up north. While Peridot was working on her laptop beside her, feet kicked back, Lapis made a few phone calls around. She sure did have a cute phone voice, and spoke with confidence. Peridot _hated_ talking on the phone. It always made her sound like a teenager whose voice was still developing. So whenever she social engineered over the phone when working, she _really_ had to try hard to fake her voice as best she could. Fortunately for her, it worked ninety five percent of the time.

She typed on her keyboard while Lapis continued to talk to the other line. Pearl was knitting on the other side of the room, using a sweater pattern she designed herself. Amethyst was asleep, head in her lap and right under the knitting needles, as they clicked at each rhythmic stitch.   

Earlier that morning before class, she woke up early and did her usual, personal research. She loved to read, that was a fact. But ever since she was young, there were two categories which she liked to reach about. First were books about law and law enforcement. It always made her a little paranoid in a strange way, reading about her individual rights and what (not) to do in order to protect said rights. Next were books about computers. From engineering to programming, to system concepts to security, she soaked it up like a sponge. There was nothing that disinterested or bored her.

Earlier, within the first hours of waking while preparing for class, she had started her penetration test on a client’s system who had hired her. Her client was some smaller startup, who offered storage and cloud services. It did not take long at all to find the loopholes. A semi-truck could have fit through them. What was the engineering team even doing up there?

Now to the last part. She got up from her seat, told Lapis she would be right back, which she needed to make a call. The blue haired girl, on hold on her own phone nodded and smiled. Peridot went in her room and shut the door. The second part of this penetration test, where it got real, was the social-engineering aspect. The blonde would try as much as she could to verbally hack her way through, and convince the people at her client’s office to give her needed information. Of course, she executed thorough research on them prior. To make them believe she was a legit engineer at a brother startup, the correct lingo and names were required to get anywhere. Society really underestimates the power of social psychology as a means of legitimate hacking.

Twenty minutes passed, and Peridot had the information she needed, which was proof of another big hole in their security. She turned around to go back to her friends in the living room, maybe help Lapis with her own search. But Lapis was already standing at the door.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” she pointed out.

“Do what now?” Both she and her girlfriend both knew what.

“I don’t think I could describe what you did just now. The language sounded all too foreign to me.”

Peridot gulped. Was Lapis mad at her with being able to social-engineer? Though technically she was doing it entirely legally, it did not discount its nature of being deception. How much did her girlfriend hear or really understand anyway? Her girlfriend knew she was smart with computers, but had no idea she hacked for a living. “This is part of my work.” She would admit that.

“Lying?”

There it was. It was one thing Peridot appreciated about Lapis. The girl never beat around the bush, or played mind games. She would have thought otherwise, since she was a psychology major, but maybe that was just a stereotype on her part.

Sighing, she knew she would have to fess up. Quickly realizing from the day they became official, hiding her personal from Lapis was only going to fare more difficult. But she knew that, and knew she would have to tell Lapis everything one day. She just did not think it would be this soon. Would Lapis still want to date her, not only the biggest nerd alive, but the CEO of Diamond’s daughter, and accomplished hacker as well?

“It’s called social-engineering,” she explained, taking a seat on her black leather desk chair. Lapis copied her, and sat at the edge of her bed. “When I was younger, I loved doing anything that would seem like magic to people. Growing up with a CEO mom, I also had many resources to information on computers. Because knowledge on how to program technology was foreign to most, it instantly appealed to me. By the time I was in high school, I was already working at Diamond as an engineer.”

“Let me get this straight, you mean to tell me you learned all of this before high school?” She was not mad, only curious. A bit amazed even. It made Peridot feel slightly more comfortable, in an unexplainable way.

“Yes… yes I did. Ever since I left home for school, I’ve provided security testing services to businesses and organizations as a freelancer. What I was just doing, talking on the phone, was part of that work. Basically, you could say I hack to help.” She opened a folder of reference letters she had printed out, for her own sake, and showed them to Lapis.

She relaxed tremendously. “Well I think it’s amazing.”

“Not geeky?” She squeaked, not expecting that response.

“A little bit, but also pretty darn cool as well. You’re so accomplished Peridot, and here I am working overtime as a bartender in a somewhat sleazy area of downtown Beach City. On top of that, you’re helping people. Serving drinks constantly to people isn’t exactly helping anyone.”

“You helped me on the night we met. You brought me water on your own break, remember?” Peridot looked into Lapis’ violet eyes, and watched her expression change as she remembered.

“That was flirting,” she admitted openly. “But yes, I suppose it was helping as well,” she came over and kissed the shorter girl on the lips. “You were so darn cute, I had to talk to you!” The taller girl continued.

“On the job?” Peridot teased.

“I was also helping too, remember?” She winked back. “Thanks for sharing that and being open with me.”

“I knew already I needed to say something,” Peridot admitted, “I just didn’t know how. You popping in my room and catching me during work was sort of encouraging though.”

Lapis put her arms around the girl and kissed her on the nose. “Good. Just know you can tell me anything. You can even tell me you killed someone and I won’t even judge.”

She could not tell if her girlfriend was exaggerating or not. But Peridot’s phone went off in her front hoodie pocket, which both girls felt. It was only a text, from Lars. Why did something have to interrupt them whenever they were about to kiss?

The message from Lars said:

_Hey Peri, what are you and Lapis up to later today? Sadie and I were thinking of going out after our class gets out. Does a double date appeal to either of you?_

Peridot ran the text by the taller girl, and she agreed to going. Faster than if it involved her three roommates, but she still would probably comply, for Peridot’s sake. “I need to change though, I look like a bum.”

She certainly did not look scrubby at all. Far from it, which Peridot said before adding, “but you can always go back home and change, or borrow something of mine if you’d rather. I have mostly button-up shirts, t-shirts, medium wash jeans, and black jackets. Not too many dresses or shawls in my closet,” she chuckled.  

“Do you have any shorts?” She asked.

“Like these?” Peridot pulled a pair of high-waisted shorts from her dresser, and threw them at Lapis. They landed on her head.

“Those will work fine,” she grinned.

 

* * *

 

The outlet mall, one of the largest on the west coast, was packed with people. This made parking an almost impossible challenge. The four patiently waited for a parking space to open up, sweeping the lot for the next half hour. Just this made Peridot exhausted, and Lars was getting pretty antsy. A few more minutes and a spot opened up.

“There!” Lars pointed out. “Take that one!”

A Peridot drove closer she noticed it was way too narrow. “My car’s not going to fit Lars, and I’m not going to push it.”

“You can try at least?”

“Mm nope,” and Peridot drove on. She was thankful Lars was not the driver instead, because he would have certainly attempted and successfully crashed the car. No more than a few spots up was another space, which offered much more room on the sides. Peridot pulled in perfectly straight on both sides. The only straight she was ever going to be.  

“And bam, that’s how you park,” the blonde said matter of fact. With that Sadie chuckled and Lars just grumbled.

The two couples decided prior to leaving for the mall, to go to the giant arcade that was there. Inside there were old vintage games like Fruitman and Sky Invaders, as well as DDR and laser tag. Peridot had never gone laser tagging before, so she was most enthusiastic about trying something different. Especially if it involved lasers.   

Luckily it was what everyone else also decided to do first.

They went into a dark room where everything was lit under a green light, where one of the employees gave a spiel about safety, the rules of the game, and whatnot. The theme of the place was like an army camp, with fake props, crates, and stenciled out black words. Peridot was not actually listening, since she was already strategizing how to take the other team down at their base.

When it was time to pick teams, she whispered to Lapis, “Let’s be on the same side and team up. I’ll cover you.”

Lapis, amused replied, “Only if we get to be the purple team.”

“Does it matter?”

“Only if we win.” Besides the four of them, there were roughly fifteen to twenty other people, suiting up with their vests. None of them seemed to pick purple, going for red and yellow instead.

“You ready to take ‘em out?” Lars said with his purple vest on, getting the memo, helping Sadie put hers on. She did not really need help, but it was Lars way of being flirty, Peridot supposed.

Lapis posed with her laser gun pointing outward. “You know it!”

“We should split up in two groups,” Sadie suggested. “Lars and I will attack the bases while the other teams are distracted, and you two guard the area near our base. We’ll switch out too, to take turns.”

“That sounds like a reasonable strategy,” Peridot replied.

Lapis wrapped her arms around the blonde’s waist from behind. “I’ll defend our base and this one with my life.”

Peridot just blushed.

Everyone was gathering around the door to enter the arena, to get a head start before the game would officially start. Inside the arena they would have a minute before the clock would start. A siren went off, which was obviously part of the game, and the door opened, allowing the people to flow through.

“Let’s hurry to find our base,” Lapis pulled Peridot along, taking her hand.

“…And good luck!” the game announcer, trying to sound like an army general announced blaringly.

Inside there was fake smoke everywhere, and the arena was even darker than the previous one. There were very few lights, consisting of green and black lights. The place looked like something out of one of those shooter war games. The area was huge, spanning two levels. Since the purple base was upstairs, the two made a beeline up the ramp, but not before giving Lars and Sadie a thumbs up. The first minute had not even passed, and Lars was already getting into it, moving across the floor stealthily.

_What a dork,_ Peridot thought to herself. _Trying to show off in front of Sadie._ But Sadie seemed to get a kick out of it.

Peridot and Lapis managed to slip past the two other teams, occupied with firing at each other’s vests like mad men. The two girls hid behind a wall next to their base, shining a purple light. There they would be hidden and able to snipe people out from below. It was also a prime ambushing place.

“We’ve got this,” Lapis held her gun up craftily, back pressed against the wall. Peridot copied her, peaking around the corners hoping to get a glimpse of some targets.

“Of course, we are the best team out there. With my nerdy-ness and your sexiness, we are sure to win.”

“Sexiness huh,” the blue haired girl said less of a question, and more like she thought of an idea. She suddenly moved off the wall and in front of Peridot, closing in on the girl.

“You know, we have some time to kill before they get an idea to come after us.”

Peridot just gulped. She knew exactly what Lapis was insinuating, by the way her face leaned in towards hers. Was she nervous? Yes and no. But more than anything, the butterflies in her stomach were going crazy.

Instead of going for her mouth, Lapis pressed her soft lips on Peridot’s neck, moving strands of hair away in the process. Her thumb trailed over her cheekbone, and the blonde shivered. She never realized neck kissing could feel so great. By the way Amethyst talked about it, she always thought it was overrated. Not anymore.

Lapis’ other hand felt her collarbone through the thin material of her black shirt. But when it started drifting down dangerously close to her chest, Peridot let out a moan and a gasp for air. Just from the touch she was paralyzed, completely in Lapis’ control.

“Lapis…”

The blue haired girl froze in place and automatically stopped what she was doing. “Is this too much?”

Peridot replied in the first way she thought of, by crashing her lips on the other girls’.

Forget about laser tag, this was way better. Go purple team.

Pulling on her lower lip and hearing Lapis give an audible sigh was exactly the drug she needed. The game music boomed in the background, the base sending vibrations through her body. Lapis has the smoothest skin, softer than silk, and was cold against her own. She knew anyone could turn the corner at any minute unexpectedly, find them making out like teenagers in public. But the voice which shouted at her to stop was overtaken by the sensation of the moment.

As soon as Lapis made her move, the sound of small footsteps ran up the metal stairs. Peridot broke apart from the taller girl, not before giving her a quick peck on the lips.

“I’ll hide behind you,” Lapis crouched down, as if to use Peridot as a shield.

“Hey that’s no fair!” But she was not exactly going to protest.

But low and behold the incoming intruder that moved closer and around the corner turned out to be a little kid.

The sound of Lapis’ laser gun went off, hitting the child’s small yellow vest right in the chest. In turn the vest made a unique sound followed by blinking, to indicate he was stunned, according to the game’s rules. But the kid, a young boy with dark brown hair, did not seem to care. He already seemed down about something else.

The two girls let down their defenses, as he kept coming towards them. He appeared to be no older than eight. His pink shirt fit a little too large for his short size, and a band aid covered his cheek.

“Are you alright?” Lapis asked him, hoping to soothe the boy’s anxiety.

He sniffed loudly. “I’m just trying to find my mom, and I can’t find her anywhere. I’ve been looking for…” The boy looked at his watch with a cartoon character printed on it, “…almost ten minutes.”

_Most kids wouldn’t be bothered by that kind of thing,_ Peridot thought. If it were herself at that age, she would have loved the opportunity to separate from her mom.

“Today was supposed to be our fun day, and I wanted to spend it with her. And now she’s probably upset with me.”

“I highly doubt that,” Lapis attempted to calm his worries. The loud background music was not really helping the mood either. “Is your mom in here too?”

“Yeah, but I ran off because I thought I saw something interesting. It turned out to be nothing,” he laughed at himself. “I’m not lost,’’ he added as if to clarify. “I just feel bad. This was supposed to be fun.”

“Who says it can’t be still? I’m Lapis Lazuli, this is my girlfriend Peridot.”

It was the first time Lapis had ever introduced the blonde as “her girlfriend.” Peridot strangely felt elated by that.

“I’m Steven,” the boy said bringing a smile to his face.

“Why don’t you play with us for the time being? We can try to find your mom and can also surprise the other team in the process.”

His mood changed drastically from down to happy. “That sounds fun!”

“Let’s be on the lookout near the deck over there. That way, we can see what’s going on up here and down below,” Peridot suggested.

Steven was already headed in that direction giving a thumbs up. Babysitting a lost kid was not what Peridot expected to be doing with Lapis today. But she supposed life was unexpected. She never would have guessed a year ago, a girl like Lapis would be in her life.

And there Lapis was crouched down next to Steven, talking to him while scouting out targets below. From observation, she was very good at talking to kids, something Peridot knew was not her strength. Never had the thought of wanting children crossed her mind, but watching Lapis with Steven gave her full confidence her girlfriend would be a good mother. If they ever came close to that point. Personally she did not have an opinion whether she wanted to have kids. Maybe eventually. Or maybe not.

“So if Peridot’s your girlfriend, does that mean she’s your _girlfriend_ girlfriend?” Peridot overheard the young boy ask. Typical for kids to ask those kind of questions directly.  

“Yep, we’ve dated for a few months now,” the blue haired girl said, casually speaking. “We met right before school started.”

Steven paused before speaking, “Oh cool, I didn’t know girls could date other girls.” So he understood, and was likely still trying to wrap his eight year old mind around the concept.

“It’s not as common,” she added.

_Or accepted._ Peridot was glad Lapis was the one talking, not her. She would have felt too awkward, not knowing how to address the topic of sexuality to a kid when they asked.

“Well… You’re both super nice… So it must not make a difference!” Steven said decidedly as he was putting his thoughts together like a puzzle. The blonde was both relieved and fascinated at Steven’s response. Not many adults would have that sort of attitude towards a subject many people found as stigmatized.

“That’s a very kind thing to say,” Lapis acknowledged. Though her words strung together as if talking to a kid, her tone sounded authentic and genuine. Not the same way how some people’s voices change pitch, when talking to younger children.

He asked further, reciting a detail. “So where do you both go to school?” Steven looked at Peridot with his large brown eyes, full of childhood innocence. Her heart instantly melted. Peridot really was not adept with children, but this young boy was too sweet for words. The blonde instantly liked Steven, considering him an exception.

“We go to Beach City University, though that’s not where we met,” Peridot answered, giving Lapis a quick look as if she said some comical inside joke.

“Oh I think my older sister goes there, maybe you know her!” He seemed pleased with himself that he found something they could relate to, and showed a smile with a tooth missing.

There were almost forty thousand students who went to Beach City University. The chances of even knowing Steven’s sister were slim to none.

“And what’s her name?” Lapis asked all too sweetly, probably thinking the same thing as her.

“Amethyst! I forget what she’s studying though. Do you know her?”

_Did he just say Amethyst?_ It’s not a common name as it is, though her roommate could not be the only Amethyst at Beach City University. “Is she short and blonde, with long hair down to here?” Peridot said, measuring the hair length down to her waist, to paint a visual picture for him.

“Yes, yes, that’s her!”

“Not only do I know her…” Peridot whipped her phone out and went straight to her photo gallery. She scrolled a few times before finding the pictures she and Amy took together when they were goofing off. “But she’s my housemate as well! See? Ta-da.” She turned around the phone to show the younger boy.

Steven was completely amazed, with mouth open wide. He must not have expected the answer to be yes. “You _do_ know her,” he gasped. “What about Jasper, do you know her too?”

“We sure do,” Lapis chuckled, likely remembering her main experience she had with the buff girl.

“She hangs out at my house with Amethyst all the time,” Peridot added. “See?” She flipped to a picture of Amethyst and Jasper making Pearl into a pillow sandwich. Pearl did not look especially amused.

“I want to come over too! Maybe we can even make a fort, or play video games!”

With all the crass and sometimes lewd language that passed through the house, coming from Amy and Jasper especially, Peridot would have to think that over.

“I’m fine with that, just make sure your mom and sister are okay with it,” Lapis answered for the other girl. _She doesn’t even live at the house with me,_ Peridot thought.

“Incoming!” Peridot hushed the two of them. There were multiple foot stomps approaching them from the other side to their right. It was obvious by the warm colored light, it was players from the red team. Subtle was not the word to describe how they moved about, she established.

The blue haired girl signaled for Steven to follow her to the wall across Peridot, allowing them to peek around the corners of the passages. There they could snipe them out.

“Are you two ready?” Lapis asked them.

Both Peridot and Steven responded with a thumbs up.

Waiting before they ran a bit closer, she gave the command, “Now!”

The sound of the three laser guns going off caught the red team off guard. Perhaps they assumed an attack would not be acted out so head on. They managed to stun four players before the red team began to strike back.

“This is war!” Steven shouted, frantically pulling the trigger, consumed fully in the game.

“Might if I enlist?” An unknown voice interrupted.

“Mom, I found you, there you are,” he laughed while doing his best to hide a stroke of nervousness.

“More like I found you,” Steven’s mom gave him a wink, indicating she was not upset. “And it looks like you found some allies,” the lady looked at the two girls before speaking to them, “he does have a tendency to do that wherever he goes. I’m so sorry to bother you,” she said, taking on a mother’s responsibility.

“There’s no need to apologize,” Peridot responded quickly.

“Yeah I didn’t mean to run off like that,” Steven added. “I got carried away,” he admitted.

The older lady chuckled. “Well you couldn’t have run off too far anyway.” Like her son, she had dark brown hair, which fell past her shoulders in voluptuous curls. She was heavier set in size, and taller than the rest of them. She wore fashionable clothes, consisting of a pink blouse and dark denim jeans, or so Peridot could tell under the light.  “Well may I at least treat you both to lunch or at least some food?” She shot another red team player in the vest, stunning them. It was an easy shot.

Peridot looked to Lapis for some hint. Personally her opinion would be to stick with Lars and Sadie, wherever they went off to. She did not want to split off from them outside the arena.

“Uh,” Peridot began. “We actually-“

“We’re on a double date, but we don’t know which direction our other friends went,” Lapis finished her sentence assertively.

Typical Lapis, to just say it. But it was something she enjoyed about the blue haired girl. Peridot just nodded and grinned nervously. seeking a response verbal or non-verbal from the lady.

“There’s no time for chit chat guys, we need to attack now!” Steven said, cutely for a kid so commanding.

“Let’s charge!” He ran forward, and the three of them followed in pursuit. But his directive did not last long, because in the next second, everyone’s vests started to blink white. The game was over. Replacing the booming war soundtrack going on in the background, came the intercom. The voice instructed all the players in an over the top war general voice, to head back to the main lobby for scores. Peridot wondered what people voiced these kind of things, and if they ever got a kick out of it.

“Aww,” Steven said, expressing his disappointment.

His mother put her hand on his shoulder, “Don’t say that just yet,” he looked up at her. “After all we haven’t seen the final team scores,” she pointed out.

“Sorry for not introducing myself,” as the tan girl spoke, a group of boys from the red team were hollering, high fiving one another. But she seemed unfazed. “I’m Lapis and this is Peridot, my girlfriend, mentioned just a couple minutes ago.”

“Rose Quartz,” the brown haired lady said back. “I apologize for assuming you both had boyfriends here, after mentioning a double date.” Her tone was genuine, but at the same time sounded like she was sorting thoughts in her head.

Peridot just let Lapis respond now to those type of mentions, since she had zero idea of how to do so herself.  But by her body language, Rose Quarts was not phased.

“No worries, you don’t need to apologize for that, really,” Lapis reassured her. To Peridot, there was a grain of patience in her voice. Rather than hearing it in her words or seeing it in her expression, Peridot knew Lapis well enough now she was taking an unperturbed approach. Very respectable, since she would be stumped on how to react. Even though they had dated for a few months now, it was all still so new, uncharted territory.

“But guess what mom? They are Amethyst’s roommates!”

“And Jasper’s, when she’s around,” Peridot added, mumbling to herself.

“That’s it, I knew your names sounded familiar. Amethyst has mentioned you both several times, at least whenever she decides to come home.”

“Hey guys!” Lars called out, already in the lobby hanging up his vest with Sadie.

“Well I won’t keep you all from your day out, but thank you again for looking out for Steven. And if you ever need a home to escape to or a home-cooked meal, just let me know. Next time Amethyst and Jasper come back, why don’t all you housemates come along? We don’t live incredibly far.”

“That sounds nice… Thanks for the invitation!” Lapis cheerfully grinned. Peridot could just sense Lapis faking it to a small amount. But man, a home-cooked meal did sound wonderful. Especially around a time like now.

Her stomach rumbled, not audibly, at the thought. So Peridot decided to exchange numbers with Rose Quartz anyway.

They exchanged a few words with Steven and Rose Quartz before checking the scores. Red team won and purple team came in last place, obviously. But the point counts were pretty darn close, counting the fact especially that team purple only had four players.

“Thanks you guys,” Peridot groaned, directing it at Lars and Sadie, since they likely did most of the work around the arena.

“There were so many red and yellow players, we were hardly noticed since they were focused on each other,” Sadie said.

“Well, I’ll accept your thanks.”

“Oh cut it Lars,” Sadie threw back, flirting with the red haired guy. “So, where to next?”

“There’s always food, or a movie,” Lapis suggested.

“I’m down for food,” Peridot said all too quickly, which Lapis noticed and smirked.

Lars agreed, since food always sounded good to him. Sadie, being Sadie, was always open to anything. They were a cute looking couple, Peridot supposed, though still very different in personality. Her friend Lars was a bit more dramatic at times, where Sadie seemed to be more empathic to others. Despite their differences, they evened each other out well. In the beginning the blonde was surprised Lars even decided to go out with anybody. She had never witnessed her red haired friend to take interest in a girl like that before. Or a guy for that matter, she could not say.

If only back in the laser tag arena she had made a faster move on Lapis. Just thinking about it made the blonde feel like she was going to explode. She had no clue where her own assertiveness came from. Some deep competitive drive needed to get back at Lapis, return the same feeling Lapis made her experience. It sounded so animalistic to her, too primitive for her own personality. Was it even real? Did it even happen?

After arriving home later and looking in the bathroom mirror, the hickey close to the back of her neck said yes.


	15. Pearl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot goes with a "favor" for one of her housemates.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come Pearl?”

Amethyst stood there with crossed arms and leaned to one side. The black snapback on her head was twisted on backwards, which complemented her long platinum hair, which blew to the side with the fan blowing in the background.

“I can’t,” Pearl did not look Amethyst in the eyes. “I have homework to do still. Thanks, for the offer.” The skinny girl shamelessly did not hide the sadness in her voice. The pink haired girl picked up her textbooks, vape, and went outside through the back screen door.

“What’s her problem?” Amethyst turned to Peridot. “I only invited her and everyone else to dinner at my mom’s place. Was it something I said?” She seemed a bit hurt.

“No, I can’t figure out why she would react in that manner,” Peridot answered, perplexed as well. It was unlike Pearl to refuse a kind invitation. And she was a horrible liar. “But if she really does have homework, she should stop reading the same page in her biology textbook.”

“Huh?”

“You haven’t noticed? She hasn’t flipped a page in the last hour, just staring at it.”

“Are you sure?”

Peridot shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m very observant and tend to notice details people usually look over.” Not to toot her own horn, but that was one of the qualities which made her into an adept hacker.

“No kidding. She’s been acting this way for the last few days, after you ran into my mom and little brother actually. I can’t figure out why she’s not talking to me.”

Peridot saw that transpire as well, another detail from her observations. Pearl could not look at Amethyst for a second without turning away. Going to class, she would only say a quick “bye” to her roommates if Amethyst was there. The taller girl was also spending more time in her room than usual. Very unlike Pearl, who seemed to be introverted, yet loved the company of her housemates. Something had to be up, something the pink haired girl was not telling them. But Peridot wanted to know why exactly she was acting this way, specifically with Amethyst. They were all very close, the blonde hoped at least, but Pearl and Amy were closest with each other. It did not make sense why Pearl would not tell Amethyst what was happening, if there was anything to begin with.

“I want to talk to her but…” Amethyst sighed. “I guess I don’t know where to start. This has never happened to me before, and I don’t want her to continue ignoring me.” She pulled out a chair from the kitchen table, and Peridot followed suit. “Man, this sucks.” She rested her head against a supporting arm on the table. “What to do now…”

Amethyst trailed off, and the two short girls sat there in silence, both in thought over the matter. This never had happened to Peridot either, excluding her mother, so she was with her roommate there. They stared blankly at different points in the room, until their eyes fell back on each other at the same moment.

 “Say,” Amethyst began, “I just thought of an idea.”

“Really now, what is it?”

“You’re going to think this is a great idea Peridot,” there was a smile on her face now. “Instead of me talking to her, why don’t you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, it’s perfect!” The other girl lowered her voice a tad. “Since she won’t talk to me, she may open up to you with anything that’s wrong. Like you said, you’re super observant. You can see if anything’s different or if she’s lying. And after you find out, you can come back and tell me. See, what did I tell you? It’s a pretty good idea, huh?”

“How do you know she won’t talk to you?” Peridot said hesitantly, raising an eyebrow. This did not seem like the smartest plan.

“I know from like, these last few days,” the tone in her voice was the same as someone pointing out the obvious.

“I really don’t know about this,” the blonde said flatly. “You should be the one initiating with her, not initiating a game of telephone instead.”

“Please? For me?”

Frankly, it sounded like Amethyst was asking for drama. She and Pearl were much better friends than Peridot was with the taller girl. They knew each other much longer than Peridot met them all. Should that not play a role? This whole idea seemed unnecessary, and there were much simpler ways of finding out what was wrong. But another part of Peridot was also curious, wanting to know the answer for herself.

She caved in.

“Fine. I’ll go talk to her.”

“Oh thanks P, you’re the best!”

Holding up a hand, Peridot continued, “But only if you talk to her afterwards. I don’t want to be brought into this, if there is even anything to begin with.” Inside she knew that was already the case.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, I gotta run early to pick up groceries for my mom,” she swung around, grabbing her purse from the chair. “See you later mediator!”

“Wait, I’m not going to be the mediator!” Peridot protested, but Amethyst already left out the door. “Why did I even say yes to this?” She groaned to herself, putting her palm to her forehead, massaging it.  

Instead of going directly outside to the backyard, she sat there at the kitchen table while focusing on her phone. Texting back Lapis with a sweet nothing, she typed in the search bar, “how to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk.” Many of the results instead spawned articles describing how to tell if someone doesn’t want to talk, or specifically for people that are shy. Some articles gave hypothetical reasons for someone not wanting to talk. After accidentally clicking on “Why Your Man Won’t Talk to You,” Peridot was pulling out her hair. “This is a basic question, why is there not one decent answer?” The blonde asked no one in particular.

After a few more minutes of searching, she sighed, knowing the most natural way of going about this would not be found in an online article. Approaching the slide glass door, her heart was racing. She really did not like confrontation, even if that’s not how she was intending to come across. Talking on the phone when she was working was different than this. This involved her friends. Opening the door, she strolled outside.

The sky was mostly cloudy but still hot. Peridot instantly regretted coming outside and leaving her precious air conditioning. Pearl was in the pool, not swimming, but reading a book resting on the edge. All the outdoor couches on the back porch looked sort of lonely, with only one person in the pool.

“Hi Peridot,” the pink haired girl looked up from her reading, tipping her sunglasses in order to see her face past a filter. They were white and spherical, and her bikini suit was teal and yellow.  

“Pearl,” she nodded, pulling off her shirt and shorts, revealing her black swimsuit. If she was going to talk to Pearl, she would have to get at her level. Plus Peridot desperately detested this heat. It was getting better now that fall was here, but not significantly.

The shorter girl swam over to her housemate, resting her arms on the edge. “What are you reading?”

“The Three Musketeers, I’m just over halfway through,” she glanced up to acknowledge Peridot, which the shorter girl took note. “Anyway, I’m finished reading for now. I need to rest my eyes for a bit.” Pearl bookmarked her page and pushed the novel aside. Leaning back, she floated on the water’s surface facing up. She sighed in relief.

“I remember reading that book in middle school. It’s a good read. Wasn’t my favorite, but it was up there.”

They both floated in silence, mostly out of Peridot’s nervousness to start conversation with Pearl. What could she say? Flat out ask her why she’s ignoring Amethyst?

“Are you and Lapis getting together later?” Pearl asked. Looks like she did not need to say the first word after all.

“Yes, after her last class Jasper and I are picking her up, and we are going to Amethyst’s house for dinner,” this was the moment to mention something.

“You and Jasper seem to be talking more,” Pearl was changing the subject.

“She helped me out with some advice,” Peridot cleared up. “I think after that we started to have more respect for each other. Before I thought she was just Amethyst’s bum cousin who never wanted to pay rent,” she was partially sarcastic.

Covering her mouth in a cute way, she chuckled at the comment. She probably thought the same thing as well, but never wanted to say it out loud. “Don’t tell that to her face, she could probably kick your ass,” she advised.

“I know better than that,” though sometimes there were moments where she spoke before she thought. Usually it happened in conversations where she was not listening, but focusing her thoughts on something else. “But I surmise she is somewhat productive during the day, working at the gym.”

“It makes you wonder if she ever goes home at all,” Pearl pointed out.

The thought never linked Peridot’s mind before. Did she even go home? _Does she even have a home?_

But Peridot recalled Jasper sharing with her how she was going through a rough period. The buff girl never went into a deeper explanation, other than what she told her at the bar. And it was not much. But Peridot never pushed the girl for further information, though she really desired to. She made a mental reminder to ask Jasper more on how she’s doing, since the night they had those delicious wings. Maybe they would have to go out again for more.

But Peridot gave Jasper benefit of the doubt, “Of course she does,” the blonde brushed the thought off. “It’s likely Jasper prefers to invest her time here at the Temple instead.”

Pearl laughed humorously, “What are we saying?”

That’s where talking about their partial housemate ended. It was a leap, but now she had made some friendly discussion with Pearl, the probability of Pearl willingly opening up was greater.

The blonde went for it, attempting to take an indirect approach. It was not so roundabout when Peridot reflected later that day.

“So is Jasper why you don’t want to go over to Amy’s house, or do you truly have homework?” The smaller girl asked in the most non-threatening way as possible, adjusting her tone to match Pearl’s own.

Pearl hesitated, looking back over at her book which was closed, “I… I just have a lot to do.”

Maybe Peridot did not have too many friends apart from her circle, preferring to be alone more than others, and was a bit more introverted than she liked. But she was adept and quick at reading body language. And Pearl’s eye contact, facial features, and tone all indicated she was lying.

She called out Pearl’s fib, “Well, I don’t want to push anything, but know that you can trust me and I am the last person to judge. I’m serious,” she added, “and I’m thankful you all never judged me for being, well, sort of a nerd and stickler. I really appreciate it, to be honest.”

Pearl bit her lip. Peridot could not read what hypothetically was going on in the girl’s mind. Had she really gotten to the thin girl, or did she majorly piss her off? She hoped it was not the later. Amethyst really owed her one after this.

Pearl shot a sharp look at her, which made the shorter girl feel even smaller. Her housemate held an elegant aura, and was calm and collected. But she sure as hell could be intimidating if she wanted to be. “Promise me… you won’t say a word to Amethyst.”

Taking a serious approach she confirmed, “This is between you and me.” It was not completely lying. Peridot planned not to tell Amethyst everything, whatever was going on. Only what the platinum blonde needed to know in order to talk to her housemate.

Relaxing, Pearl glided graceful in the water. “It’s not anything Amethyst or Jasper has done, it’s about a mistake I made.”

Peridot nodded slowly, not in agreement, but rather acknowledgement.

The taller girl went over to the edge of the pool, grabbed her vape, and exhaled a large cloud of vaporized smoke. “I can’t go over to her house. Ever since she invited us all, Amy’s wanted me to meet her family. But to make a long story short, I already know her mother.”

What was Amethyst’s mother’s name again? Rose Quartz? Peridot did not see this coming. At all.

“I was foolish,” she continued. “It happened last year, when Amy convinced me of downloading this app called Kindlr. It was right after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, and I was in a vulnerable state. On that app was where I met Rose, Amethyst’s mom. We met and went on a couple dates at first. I knew she was older than me, but Rose was so amazing to me, which discounted that factor. During this whole time I never told Amy, Jasper, or Garnet. Instead I kept it to myself that I was dating someone new. My reasoning was I didn’t want them to think I was moving too fast, not because she was Amy’s mom. I had no idea of that until later.

“It was the night I went over to her place that I found out. The whole time she kept it a secret from me, that she was already married and had two kids. I didn’t even know her age,” Pearl slapped the side of her head. “She tried to hide it at her house, removing any evidence others lived there. But after we hooked up for the first time and she went to take a shower, I found a photo of her and her family.”

Pearl’s eyes were now getting glassy, “I really… had no idea. Instead of joining her, I just grabbed my things and left. I was too shocked,” a tear went down her flawless porcelain cheek. “It’s been a year, one whole year, and now Amethyst wants me to come over and _meet the family_.”

“I had no idea,” Peridot said, not knowing exactly what to say. “But you deserve better than that. You didn’t know.”

“Do you see why I can’t tell Amethyst, or anyone who already knows Rose? She would never talk to me again. It would hurt her so much.”

Peridot went over and hugged the taller girl there in the pool. She was not usually the hugging type unless it was with Lapis, but it seemed very appropriate at this moment. Until she had wrapped her arms around her, Peridot never realized how thin and delicate Pearl actually was.

This gesture caused Pearl to open up and cry. “I’ve never told anyone this before,” she laughed at herself, probably for being vulnerable in the first place.  

Releasing the girl, Peridot looked up at her housemate. “Really?”

She shook her head. “How can you tell anybody you _screwed_ the mom of one of your best friends?”

“There are counselors. I’ve personally never been to one, but they are a listening ear and trained to-“

“No, I can’t deal with counselors anymore. They never were beneficial for me and never will be.”

“Fair enough,” Peridot took back that suggestion quickly. She did not want to be suggesting things to Pearl in the first place. “Even though you already know this, I want to be here for you. You don’t have to feel alone. You’ve already dealt with that enough.”

The pink haired girl sniffed, wiping her tears with a wet hand. “You’re a good person and a better friend, Peridot.”

As much as Peridot cared for her housemates, she automatically doubted that statement. Something inside her did not entirely believe it.

“I can’t believe I actually told someone,” Pearl spoke gently, more towards herself. Her eyes were glazed and blank, and was very still.

Putting her small hand on Pearl’s shoulder, Peridot decided no one else was going to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cool, P.


	16. Dinner Party Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot, Lapis, and almost all the roommates go over to Rose Quartz' house for a summer dinner.

“Help yourself to as much as you want, I don’t have room in the fridge for too many leftovers.”

Peridot liked hearing those words very much.

Rose Quartz, with Steven and Amethyst’s help, cooked up a delicious looking barbeque dinner. To go with the wings which were seared in a mouth-watering homemade sauce, there were mash potatoes, roles, and even a fruit salad as well. Scanning all her childhood memories, she could not recall the last time she ate a home-cooked meal like this. Her mother never cooked, leaving the designer fridge consistently empty aside from the few vegetables and wine bottles. She always brought home these expensive kale salads to go, and gave the leftovers to Peridot. That was about the extent of the CEO’s cooking ability. More than often, the blonde would just go out and buy groceries for herself, with her own money. That was during the time she still bought those instant noodle cups. Peridot shuddered from just the thought of eating one. Never again would she stoop down that low, no matter how dirt cheap they were.

Wings everywhere. Peridot scooped up five and plopped them on her plate, with a healthy serving of fruit salad. Thinking over it, the blonde only added a bit of mash potatoes. The less carbs in her life the better. Not that she necessarily needed to watch her carb intake. Most of the time she ate relatively healthy, thanks to all the kale in her past. In fact, her figure was quite slim. It was simply a matter of preference.

Grabbing a plastic red cup normally used during parties and picnics, she poured herself lemonade from the pitcher roughly the size of her head. It was homemade, made with freshly squeezed lemons from Mrs. Universe’s trees out back. There was also a cooler with alcoholic beverages, which Rose offered to them all. But Peridot was not in the mood for a beer or a hard cider.

Now she was salivating.

“Thanks Rose,” Peridot heard Garnet say in her warm alto voice, reminding Peridot to do the same.

“Yeah, wow thanks!” The blonde said in agreement. Her girlfriend, Jasper, Amethyst, and Steven all followed in suit.

“Of course, having all of you over gives me an excuse to cook something this extravagant.”

The blonde heard Steven whispering to Lapis, “You guys need to come over more. I’m so tired of sandwiches every day. They say you are what you eat, which means I’m probably going to turn into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by tomorrow or so.”

Lapis chuckled over a small snort, which Peridot found adorable. “We can’t let that happen now, can we?” the blue haired girl ran with Steven’s exaggeration.

After everyone had served themselves, they followed Rose Quartz through the kitchen, across the living room, and through the sliding glass door to the back yard. Their home was tastefully decorated and had a breathable atmosphere. Based on the art work hung on the walls, bottles with sand and shells inside, and aquatic printed couch pillow cases, Peridot guessed they were a fan of the beach. Their décor was very appropriate, considering they lived only a few blocks away from the shore.

The backyard lawn was completely dried up and turned brown, which Rose explained she was replacing it soon with something more practical. There was a blue, inflatable pool probably three feet deep, with a giant blowup pool dolphin inside. Going down the deck, there was a long expandable table set up, with several table umbrellas covering the area for shade. With the tablecloth, napkins, and eating utensils, it was actually put together nicely.

After Peridot sat down, Lapis took a seat right next to her with Steven on the other side. They were talking to each other, while Garnet was talking to the hosts. Her natural tendency when left out of conversations like this was to butt her way in. But the blonde did not feel like doing so this time, not having the energy. So she simply listened into her housemate’s conversation about the current project Garnet was undertaking at work.

“We plan on repaving the road next to Shoemaker and Gull. Because it’s one of the busiest intersections in the city, we have a very specific schedule when we’re going to work. Consulting the city, we are only allotted the time slot from one to four in the morning,” she sighed tiredly. “Meaning we have to work fast.”

“At least you’re not dying of heat stroke,” Jasper reassured her.

“How do you not melt while working during the day in that suit of yours?” Amethyst added. She was referring to the construction suit Garnet was required to wear, for safety purposes.

“I have… no clue. But for this particular repaving, I would almost rather work during the day. Most accidents in downtown Beach City happen at night,” the older girl reminded them. “On that note, I have some news. Right before coming over here, I received a call from the construction company I’m currently contracting for. They want to hire me full time to work for them as a construction manager.”

“That’s wonderful Garnet!” Rose exclaimed happily, twisting the cab of the hard cider off. “It’s definitely an accomplishment. I think I was still living at home and job searching when I was your age, until I found a waitressing job.”

“At _the_ diner,” Amethyst added in a bored tone, supporting her head with an arm propped on the table.

Rose ignored it, continuing to tell the story of how it was a fifties and sixties themed restaurant, and all employees had to wear diner outfits and roller skates. She included all the conflicts she got in with her eccentric manager, the time she spilled a strawberry shake all over a girl’s white dress, and the night she made two hundred dollars in tips. “Of course, the place closed several years ago, which left us all back to job hunting. Now it’s even harder to find something decent paying. That’s why I’m so impressed of you Garnet. And we can all celebrate here too,” she added.

“Time to _raise the roof_ here,” Amethyst fist pumped the air and looked at her friends and family for confirmation. “Am I right guys, or am I right?”

Jasper groaned, “Oh that was bad.”

“No it wasn’t, see? Garnet got a kick out of it!” Amethyst pointed to her older housemate.

Garnet in mid bite eating her mashed potatoes froze with a funny smile on her face, as if she was about to laugh. Instead she gave a thumbs up. “ _A-plus.”_

“Don’t encourage her Garnet,” grumbled Jasper. “It’s already bad enough as it is.”

Peridot nodded in agreement, her mouth stuffed larger than a Thanksgiving turkey with food. The longest time had passed since she last had a full stomach.

“You all are two much,” Rose said with enthusiasm, entertained with her younger company. “It’s too bad your other roommate couldn’t be here. Remind me what their name was again?”

Wait, did Rose never figure out Pearl was her daughter’s roommate? Peridot became nervous at the sudden conversation change, since she knew the truth.

“Oh Pearl? Yeah she had too much homework, that party pooper.”

At the sound of her name, Rose hesitated before asking, “What is she studying?”

“Astrophysics. It’s really no wonder she’s swamped right now. That major just sounds cruel.”

The crashing look on Rose Quartz’s face that passed for a split second told Peridot only one thing. _Now she knew._

Stricken with anxiety over Rose’s realization, Peridot began to choke out of nowhere, after swallowing a piece of chicken. Everyone at the table turned to her.

“Are you alright?” Lapis was the first to react.

Normally, when someone realizes they are choking, they see if they can get the piece of food back up. Most of the time it worked. This time was the exception. Peridot could not even speak.

Garnet was the first to take action. She jumped out of her seat, and ran around the table to the other side where Peridot was. From there she proceeded to perform the Heimlich maneuver on her housemate. Out came the piece of chicken, soaring through the air, and into the flower garden.

Giving a groan of disgust, Peridot wiped her mouth. “Oh my gosh,” she began, “I… I’m so sorry!” The blonde covered her mouth with both hands, trying to hide her flushed face.

“Forget about that, are you okay?” Rose got up out of her seat, but not before Lapis, who was already holding her hands.

 _I almost died from suffocation. What does it look like?_ She nodded, “Thanks to Garnet, I am now.” She looked towards the taller girl who acted so quickly, and gave an ashamed nod.

“Lion, get out of there!” Steven cried at the white-ish figure disappeared into the flowers. He raced over and picked up a large, long-haired, white cat into a cradle position. “You don’t want to eat that.”

Jasper and Amethyst just stared, a bit shocked at what they witnessed.

“Why don’t you sit or lay down on the couch inside for a bit, to catch your breath. Make yourself at home.”

Anything to excuse herself from this mortifying situation. In the past she embarrassed herself many times, but this had to top every experience. She nodded, struggling to make eye contact with her host. “If you don’t mind,” she said as she went over to the flower garden, and reached for the chicken piece with a napkin in hand. She would toss it in the garbage inside. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

She was so distressed in her own mind, she did not hear Lapis excuse herself as well.

Peridot made a beeline for the kitchen, to dispose of the wretched bit that caused this humiliation. Instead of sitting or lying down per Rose’s advice, the short haired girl went to the bathroom. Washing her mouth a bit from the acidic taste still in her mouth, she looked at her reflection and covered her face in shame. Why did this have to happen now? If there was any giveaway that she knew of Rose and Pearl’s “relationship,” that was it. Why did Amethyst have to persuade her to talk to Pearl in the first place?

“Peridot?” Lapis stood at the open bathroom door, hand on the frame.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Talk about, what? That you were choking?”

The blonde did not respond.

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, if that’s it. We were worried, that’s why we reacted. It really scared me. I never thought I’d say this, but I fully respect Garnet for saving you.”

She replied a bit too slowly, “If you say so,” she looked into Lapis’ violet blue eyes. The blue haired girl caught on.

“If there’s anything bothering you, you can tell me. You know that.”

The green eyed girl already knew she was not the best liar when she was face to face with a person. She hated withholding anything from Lapis, but she could not break her promise to Pearl and Amethyst.

“I know. Who are you going to tell anyway, my roommates?” Peridot said rather sarcastically.

This made Lapis giggle, letting out a snort. “Without doubt the contrary.”

Seeing Lapis laugh made her chuckle as well. “How’s my face? Completely crimson?”

“One word, cute,” she kissed the shorter girl’s forehead, taking her hand again. “We should probably grab something more to drink and go out there again, to be polite and everything.” The blue haired girl was not totally enthused.

“Probably,” Peridot mimicked.

She had no idea what she was going to tell Amethyst for when her roommate would approach her back at home. The truth? No way. She could find that out from Pearl herself. On the way to the backyard, Peridot sent a fast text to Pearl.

_You never told Rose you were roommates with her daughter or go to Beach City U, right?_

Almost in syncopation to Peridot sitting down again with friends giving reassuring comments, her phone let out a long buzz.

_She only knows I went to Beach City U, and that I lived with other housemates. Like I told you before, I left her house before she figured out any other details of my life. Why?_

Peridot swallowed, hard. Something she should have imitated when she was actually choking.

_Because it seems like, per conversation, she connected the dots. I don’t know how much you shared with her, but it seems likely to be the case._

Minutes passed, a pause on Pearl’s line. Peridot tried to mask her worry, by making some mundane chit chat with the very woman Pearl slept with. How messed was that?

Another buzz from her Diamond phone. One new message from Pearl. Slyly she opened it up, while Jasper was talking.

_I just got a text. You and I need to talk._

Peridot disliked hearing those words very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh Peridot....


	17. In a Fix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl talks to Peridot regarding a text message.

“Look at what she sent me Peridot, look!” Pearl was not one to regularly shout. If she did, you knew you were in trouble. Luckily Peridot avoided the taller girl’s anger, until now.

After dropping Lapis back at her place, she returned home with Amethyst, parking on the curb of the street. Needing to finish an assignment for a client, Peridot went straight to her room, but not before grabbing a glass of water. Her throat was feeling pretty dry on the way back home, likely from dehydration.

It about ten minutes after she started typing away on her keyboard, when Pearl knocked on the door. Before Peridot could ask who it was, the pink haired girl let herself in and closed the door, much unlike herself. Pearl usually asked, to respect Peridot’s privacy. Apparently that rule did not apply when she was pissed off.

The blonde forced her eyes to settle upon a text conversation on Pearl’s phone screen, straight from the one and only Rose Quartz.

_Why did you not tell me before??!_

_Tell you what?_

_That you were roommates with MY DAUGHTER._

Amethyst promised Peridot she would not be caught up in this mindless drama. Boy she was wrong. The shorter girl had a sinking feeling that she was going to get screwed by this, if she was not already _._

“Well…” Peridot trailed off, hoping she would not suffer Pearl’s blame. “That’s pretty awkward, huh?”

“How did she find out? Did you say anything to her?”

Besides non-verbally communicating “yes,” by choking on a piece of well-cooked chicken at the same moment Rose connected the dots?

“Why would I have a reason to do that? And no, I did not. Rose asked Amethyst at dinner about the roommate who couldn’t come. Rose must have put two and two together after Amethyst talked about you.” The blonde sunk into her black, leather office chair, making herself as comfortable as she could be in an uncomfortable situation.

“Great,” Pearl turned to the wall, giving her some distance. “Just great. What am I going to do, lie to her and pretend like I have no clue what she’s talking about?”

“Don’t ask me! Though I don’t think you could play pretend at this point.”

“This is a disaster,” she turned around again, facing Peridot straight on. “I let myself get too deep into that relationship. If I hadn’t screwed myself over by still feeling something for her, this would not even be an issue. But I just don’t have the heart to ignore her and block her number. How pathetic is that,” the thin girl scoffed. “Amethyst, Jasper, and even Garnet can’t know about this. Do you understand?”

“I’ve told you a million times, I have not and will not tell anybody. I have no reason to anyway, even if Amethyst has noticed something’s different with you,” she quickly realized she accidently mentioned a detail that Pearl might not have sensed before. But it was too late to patch it up.

“What do you mean?” Pearl narrowed her eyes.

She could try to conceal everything Amethyst shared with her, but Pearl would see right through. Admittedly, she slipped. “Before going over to Rose’s house, Amethyst mentioned to me how she’s perceived you lately, and that you’re treating her differently. That’s it.” It was not entirely it, but it was roughly the whole gist of what they talked about.

“Amy was pushing that whole dinner at Rose’s thing with me for the last few days. There’s no way I could ever go over there. I was just trying to stay away from it, that’s all.”

“Don’t tell me that, say it to Amethyst,” Peridot was getting a feeling this spur of the moment discussion with Pearl was beginning to go in a circle.

“I can’t! Haven’t you been listening?”

_This whole time, unfortunately._

“All I’m saying is, she feels hurt by you, _because_ you aren’t talking to her. Maybe if you just apologized and acknowledged her or said you’re going through a personal problem, she would understand. You can’t do that to her, when she was kind enough to invite you over. And she’s not only one of your closest friends, she’s your roommate.”

“I… she just can never learn about Rose and I,” her face appeared stricken by what Peridot said.

“Whether she does or not is entirely up to you.”

“I’ve been a jerk to her,” Pearl started to tear up, wiping them away quickly.

Peridot did not know what to say anymore, which was happening a lot more frequently she noticed.

“What should I do Peridot?”

The reclining girl sighed. “Like I said before, I don’t know. I’m not you and have never been in this particular situation, therefore I can’t tell you what to do. That’s what forums are for.” Peridot was not going to allow anyone to pull her further into this, and would fight against it with claw and tooth if they did. She needed to work, not untangle all her roommate’s relationship issues.

Pearl was looking at her, fervently.

“And I’m not going to be the bridge between you two,” she drew the line.

The taller girl paused before speaking calmly. “Fine, I’ll go talk to her. It will be better for the both of us. But before that happens, I’m going to take a nap.”

_Take a nap?_ That’s weird, Pearl never took naps. She remembered her roommate claiming they wasted too much time, and made her personally inefficient. It sounded a lot like procrastinating to Peridot.    

Before Pearl turned the knob to leave Peridot’s room, she looked back at her. “Thank you, for being there as a friend.”

“What are friends for?” Really though.

Opening the door was a mistake. A huge mistake.

Right outside, standing face to face with Pearl, was Amethyst looking crushed and in tears.

_Oh no. Oh shit. Oh please, no._ Peridot was tempted to push them both out in the hall, and lock herself inside her room. From there, she could probably sneak out of her window, make a grand escape to her car, and drive off. But she was so stunned, it only seemed like a fantasy.

“Why didn’t you tell me Pearl?” Amethyst said in a small voice, tears streaming down her cheeks. “How could you and my mom..?”

“Amy, I’m sorry,” Pearl said almost instantly, first instinct to move in and hug her friend.

But the platinum blonde girl pushed her away. “And you both were, _whatever_ , behind my back.”

“It’s not what you think, please listen to me.”

“Oh I’ve listened, and I’ve heard enough!” She shouted loud enough to where the neighbors could hear. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time, and treated me like garbage the last few days because of it. What did I ever do to you?” She was choking back sobs.

“Let’s just sit down and talk about this.”

“No, I don’t want to talk to you, ever! You don’t have anything else to say apart from what I heard just now!”

“Actually,” Peridot piped, in more of a squeak really. “She does. Listen to the rest of what she has to say.”

“You knew too?” She looked incredulously, right in her eyes. “You knew she was lying and you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t know for that long, I swear on my life!”

“But you still did. And you never bothered to tell me _why_ Pearl was ignoring me in the first place.”

“Wait, what?” Pearl said in confusion. Both girls were looking at Peridot, and she sure did not like it.

“Um,” her hands were sweating. “I meant to tell you but-“

“But it doesn’t matter, because you don’t care at all!” Amethyst finished Peridot’s sentence.

“No! That’s not it, you’re both my friends _and_ roommates, and I didn’t know what to do.” She stood up a little straighter in the chair.

“You were considering telling Amethyst?” Pearl aggressively asked.

“Of course she would, because she cares about her friends,” fired back at Pearl, answering her question instead.

“Seriously? That’s not what I said at all, two seconds ago,” Peridot said, but the two girls were not listening to her, while they yelled back and forth in the hallway.

This was her chance to grab her computer, along with some other things, and go. In a matter of seconds, the backpack she slung over her shoulder had everything she needed. But as she passed by the two girls shouting, they both noticed and turned.

“Where are you going?” Pearl asked.

“Yeah, are you just going to leave P?” Amethyst added.

“I don’t want to be in your way.”

“No, you contributed, you stay here!” Amethyst extended her arm, pointing to the ground

“You can’t drag me into this anymore. The issues you guys need to work out are not mine.”

“Let her go,” a voice came from behind Peridot, from the other room. Garnet stepped out of her room slowly, her voice calm and stable. She had to have heard everything, past these thin walls. “She’s not part of this. You two need to calm down before you start yelling.”

They stopped bickering, absorbing the older girls’ words, and Peridot started creeping away again. Peeking back, Garnet, who was in between her and the two other housemates, gave her a very stoic wink. Peridot knew what that meant; it meant Garnet was going to talk to her later.

Peridot hurried outside, practically ran into her car, and shoved the keys in the ignition. However, she did not start her car. The blonde just sat there, overwhelmed. Where was she going to go? What was she going to do? She thought for a moment, before deciding to call Lapis.

She hit the button for her girlfriend’s speed dial, and she picked up the phone on the third ring.

“Hey Peri!” Lapis said happily, a tone which Peridot craved in this moment. “What’s up?”

“Are you doing anything right now?”

“Mm, besides homework, nothing really. Who wants to do that anyway?” She laughed cutely.

Cut to the chase, Peridot asked, “Is it fine if I come over?”

“Sure, anytime.” The blonde could just feel her girlfriend smiling on the other end.

“Great, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Peridot continued to sit in the driver’s seat, staring at the wheel blankly. Walking to Lapis’ house only took about five minutes, and she did not feel like being more spontaneous than she was already.  Turning the key in the ignition, she turned on her lights and drove down the street, past her girlfriend’s house.

Luckily for the blonde, the convenience store was only a couple blocks away, so driving was not extremely necessary. She got out of her car, double checked to see if the door was locked, and went inside. There was no one at the counter, and no one in the store. The place was dead until there was a quick double beep from above, and a familiar face she knew all too well raced to the front.

“Oh it’s just you,” he relaxed.

“It’s nice to see you too Lars,” Peridot responded, hands casually in her pockets. Though this needed to be a quick trip, she was glad to see her friend.

“Anyway, how have things been? We haven’t talked at all this week.”

“It’s been the same old thing, though my roommates are in a fix right now and tried to drag me into it.”

“Which ones?” Lars was behind the counter now, counting inventory of all the stocked candy they had below.

“Pearl, Amethyst, and that’s it hopefully. I don’t really want to talk about it,” she leaned against the counter, running her fingers through her hair.

“Well I wasn’t going to ask anyway,” Lars copied her expression.

“Honestly that’s relieving,” she went over to the fridge section, and looked over the assortment of drinks. She picked out her favorite energy drink, before looking over at the beer. Even though the blonde was definitely over twenty one, she never considered to purchase beer for herself. Giving it a couple seconds thought, she decided there was a first for everything. She picked two classic wheat beers, along with the energy drink and donut she snagged on the way to the counter.

Plopping everything down in front of Lars, he started to scan, “That messes up my count you know,” aside from his serious voice, Peridot knew he was joking around.

“Good thing it’s not by much.”

He hesitated after putting the beer in a paper sack. “Got any ID?”

“Oh come off it,” she pretended to scowl, “you know how old I am.”

“I actually do need to check it, there was a store meeting yesterday, and the manager wanted to reinforce checking IDs. I would let it slip, but there’s also a surveillance camera there.”

Peridot was already digging for her wallet, sorting through her cards, “Here you go, ignore the picture please.”

But she knew very well that Lars would do the exact opposite. “Woah, you looked different,” he held the card out with both hands.

“People age, so that’s to be expected.”

“Your hair used to be…black?”

“It was a phase.”   

Lars smiled slyly, “I want to know this black haired, emo Peridot.”

The blonde swiped the card straight from his two hands, and quickly shoved it in her wallet. “Sorry, the chances of that happening are close to nil.”

“Come on Peridot, I’ll dye my hair black with you!”

“No.” She punched in her pin, and clicked the green button. “No matter how hard you try, that catastrophic style will never occur again.”

“Fine,” Lars handed her the receipt, “but let’s at least hang out soon.”

“Definitely. We’ll talk later, Lapis is waiting,” Peridot gave him a thumbs up on the way out the door.

It only took a few seconds to drive to Lapis’ house, where she parked. Today had transpired into a mess, sure. But now she was going to spend some peaceful, quiet time with her girlfriend. Looking over at the beer, she second guessed bringing the two cans along. It was not her style. Shrugging it off, she told herself it was not a big deal, and it would help with the relaxing part of the night. No need to think of Pearl or Amethyst’s web of a mess any longer. Best case scenario.

She knocked on the door.


	18. Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot escapes to Lapis' house to spend the night.

“What is this garbage?” Peridot furrowed her forehead.

Lapis inserted a disk into the TV player, and immediately popped up the main menu for some teen drama soap opera.

“It’s really good, I promise,” Lapis vouched. “I know you don’t watch a whole lot of TV, but we can cuddle the whole time if that makes up for it.”

“I thought that was to be expected?”

Lapis smirked as she scooted the shorter girl closer on the couch, and kissed her lips. “I knew that would convince you to watch it with me.” She pressed play, and tossed the remote to the other side of the couch.

“I’m not _that_ predictable.”

“You sure about that?” Lapis teased.

“Of course, I’m the most unpredictable person in the world,” Peridot exaggerated with a hint of sarcasm.

Going over to Lapis’ place that night was a very smart choice. After her quick detour at the convenience store, Peridot looked at the two beers she bought, and threw them away in the garbage bin. What was she thinking anyway? She never drank casually for fun, it was very much unlike her. Why did it matter to her so much, whether she drank or not? Peridot sighed. She should have never gone out with her roommates to begin with, and stopped doing so after the night she met Lapis.

About an hour ago, she escaped the hell which was now her home. She hoped Pearl and Amethyst were not at each other like dogs by the time she went back, whether that would be tonight or tomorrow. As much as sleeping in her own bed sounded like bliss, cuddling with Lapis sounded just as great, if not better. Even though Lapis shared a room with another girl, her roommate could not care less whether Peridot stayed or went. Even so, Peridot felt somewhat uncomfortable around Lapis’ silent roommate, Blue Pearl.

But that night Blue Pearl had gone out with friends, and Lapis’ two other elusive housemates were still out. Peridot still had yet to meet them or even see them. Those two always either stuck in their room while Peridot was present, or were out for extensive periods of time. They were your classic ghost housemates. The blonde did make some observations about their behavior, noting they were not very organized people, by the way they left belongings scattered around the house. There was one detail in particular, which bothered not just Peridot but Lapis as well. At random times, her housemates could loudly be heard through the walls when having sex. The blonde experienced that the first day she helped her girlfriend move in. Based on what little she knew of them, Peridot had no interest in getting to know them.  

Peridot was thankful no one else was around, since she was pretty annoyed with people in general, besides Lapis. Before turning on the TV, Lapis turned out all the lights and snagged a couple down blankets to curl up in, setting the mood just right.

The show started to play with a very annoying narrator voice, introducing the latest episode.

“Shouldn’t we be watching the pilot episode instead of starting at season two?” Peridot questioned.

“No, this is when it actually starts to pick up. The first season was just okay, but this is when the juicy series plot actually kicks in.”

“If you say so.”

The name of the show was called Camp Pining Hearts, which she thought was rather a dumb name.  The shorter girl quickly figured out the backstory, which was set at a summer long high school camp up north. All the campers were required to wear uniforms, and were placed onto one of four teams, all which held a huge rivalry. It followed six main characters total, all with particular personalities which set them apart from the other campers. All in all, the show was not as bad as Peridot originally thought it would be.

“Is Paulette always this desperate for Percy?” Peridot interrupted the episode while Paulette, one of the main characters, was confessing to her crush.

“No, she gets a bit better by mid next season. By then she doesn’t completely obsess over him. I don’t want to spoil too much of the plot though.”

“There’s a plot to all this?”

“Believe it or not there is, just watch.”

So Peridot followed her girlfriend’s advice and watched the sappy soap opera. It was funny, actually. The longer the show progressed, the more intrigued she felt towards the cast. It was not horrible.

 _“I don’t care if you’re on the yellow team Percy. We can make this work.”_ The fictional character said on screen.

_“It’s the color war Paulette. Does that mean anything to you?”_

“Don’t fall for it Percy, it’s a trap!” Peridot heard herself say. Lapis laughed, letting out that cute snort she sometimes did.

“I thought you said this is all garbage?” Lapis teased.

“I partially take that word back. It’s not _as bad_ as I originally thought it was going to be. It’s just painful to see Percy make these decisions, like agreeing to go on a walk with Paulette alone, or refusing to just ignore her altogether. I just wish Paulette would stop.”

“Stop… what?”

“Stop whatever she’s doing.”

“You’re so silly Peridot.”

“Silly?” The blonde was perplexed. “Is that a bad thing?”

“The opposite actually, it’s a cute thing.”

“I’m not really cute at all,” Peridot blushed and ran her fingers through her hair.

Lapis grabbed and substituted Peridot’s hand for her own, stroking her blonde hair admirably, and slightly messing it up.

“Of course you are, and I’m not going to believe anything you say against that.” The blue haired girl made her move leaning in on the couch, pushing Peridot back.

In a flash, the blonde was lying down on the sofa with her girlfriend on top of her. Her heartbeat was racing so violently, there was no questioning Lapis could feel her pulse. She gulped.

“I’d say this is much better, what about you?” She wrapped the down blanket around them both like a burrito. “I was wondering if you were going to make a move, or just complain about Camp Pining Hearts the whole time.” Her face was so close to Peridot’s, their noses were barely touching.

“It’s not… It’s not bad at all.”

“There it is, the truth is finally out.”

“And it’s not half as bad when you’re watching it with me. It’s nice.” There was no questioning that Peridot was looking at her girlfriend’s lips. _Girlfriend._ Lapis Lazuli was her girlfriend, and she was Lapis’. Even just a few years ago, she could not have imagined being with such a funny, sarcastic, yet sweet girl. If she decided not to leave home to go to school, her mother would have likely still kept her at Diamond CO., whether she liked it or not. She would never have had the same freedom or known her current housemates, despite their drama. And she especially would have never met Lapis at that lesbian club downtown. She never expected any of that to happen when she mustered the guts to leave, but it was all worth it. Especially in this particular moment, being directly underneath Lapis.

Her girlfriend’s violet eyes were sparkling against the light of the TV, as she placed her pink lips on Peridot’s mouth. Instead of flinching like before, Peridot warmly welcomed the kiss, letting Lapis lead the way.

Lapis was straightforward and direct in the way she kissed. It was confident, and Peridot liked it more than she was ever willing to admit, while stuck underneath the tan skinned girl. It was not too soft, yet not too hard or sloppy. It was comfortable.  

She let Lapis’ tongue enter and explore her own. Peridot was not used to it, but she did not mind. Lapis pulled back slightly, allowing her girlfriend the ability to breathe. The blonde maneuvered an arm out, grazing her hand through blue hair and holding the back of her girlfriend’s head steadily. Both of Lapis’ arms snuggly kept Peridot in place on each side, minimalizing her ability to move around. Their torsos lined up perfectly against each other, despite the height difference. Peridot could feel every move Lapis made as if these motions were part of her. Though if they were truly a part of her, it would not feel so unexpected and exciting.

The trailing lips moved down to a certain spot on Peridot’s neck, which she was already acquainted with, recalling the laser tag encounter. This particular place changed the game entirely for Peridot. Did she even want to call it that, a game? Either way, it made her shift uncontrollably.

Lapis sensed this right away, and removed her leg, which wound up snug between Peridot’s legs. The blonde was so focused on trying to be a good enough kisser, that she did not notice it grinding there in the first place. “Are you okay, with this?” Lapis halted the action. She was not a hesitant person, but there was a pinch of uncertainty when she asked.

“Okay with what?”

“You know,” Lapis moved her eyes from one side to the other, before landing on Peridot. “ _This._ ”

“I am perfectly content with kissing, if that’s what you’re signifying.”

Slowly Lapis moved back off with the blanket, puzzling Peridot. Did she say something amiss?

“I… sorry, Peridot.”

“Of what? Lapis, did I say or do something that made you uncomfortable?” If she did, she wanted to know.

“I was getting a little carried away.”

Peridot’s eyes trailed from Lapis to staring blankly at the bright TV. Camp Pining Hearts was still playing, but she paid zero notice to the scene or the words exchanged.

“I didn’t mind, really. I mean, I don’t mind.”

Lapis appeared evidently upset. “But I do. We were moving too fast, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Y-you weren’t causing me to feel uncomfortable,” Peridot stuttered, a few beats too late.

“I know this is new for you, you’ve told me that yourself. Even if it’s not new for me, I want to do the best I can to respect that.”

“Respect what?” Peridot was now full-blown confused. “I have no clue what you mean. Are you talking about boundaries?”

The blue haired girl shook her head, “Yeah. I don’t want to cross anything that I shouldn’t.”

“We have never openly talked before about anything you’re insinuating. It’s true. I’ve never been together with a girl before you, and the whole physical aspect is new territory, as much as I don’t want to admit. I do prefer the speed we are moving at,” she took a deep breath and exhaled. “But I’m just not ready to go any further from what we normally do.” Peridot was so embarrassed. Lapis must think she’s some sort of prude now. But it was the truth, and she knew if she faked it, then it would become uncomfortable.

A big meaningful smile stretched across Lapis’ face. “Thank you for being honest with me Peridot. If I’m to be honest with you, this is the first time having this conversation. You mean a lot to me, and I want to do the best I can to respect your wishes. Apart from that, deep down I’m not in a place to move forward physically, though I really want to. Its best if we continue to move at the pace we usually do, and if that changes we’ll talk about it again,” Lapis stuck out a hand. “Deal?”

“Deal,” Peridot was already sitting up, and reaching to shake Lapis’ hand. But instead of shaking it, Lapis grabbed it, and pulled her in for a hug.

“There, we’ve properly talked about it now.”

“You’ve probably never experienced anyone like me before.” The blonde felt a twinge of embarrassment and shame, for not being enough for her girlfriend. She knew Lapis was holding back for her, and deep down Peridot felt that pressure to be enough. But she could not, simply because she was not ready.

All her lonely life, she grew up around a sheltered environment which told her to not have sex until love or marriage. While there was nothing inferior with that choice, Peridot did worry about what Lapis believed and if it would ultimately clash.

“You’re right, I’ve never experienced a girl like you before,” Lapis replied, still holding Peridot. “But that’s a good thing. Sometimes you can be extremely stubborn and systematical, but you’re a good person. More than I could ever be.”

“That’s not true, at all!” Peridot stammered, moving back. “Let’s see, you’re sweet, caring, and thoughtful,” she was counting with her fingers. “Like the very first night we met, or how you made that kid Steven feel better during laser tag. Me, I’m too selfish and I wish I was more like you.”

“But the way I acted around your friends… Even though I don’t trust them, I was still rude on multiple occasions.”

“You aren’t rude to people for no reason,” this was a thought that crossed the smaller girl’s mind from time to time. Maybe Lapis knew something about her housemates, which she was withholding.

“You’d be surprised.”

“Somehow, I don’t believe you.”

Averting her eyes, she looked aimlessly to the dark void of the house. “I knew Amethyst and Jasper from the club.”

“From the same club we both met?”

The tan girl nodded. “They weren’t people I worked with. Those two used to go to that club all the time, every weekend. More than once, they both have been kicked out for being over the top disrespectful to others and to staff. I’ve witnessed them getting into fights, and threatening to hit a bartender for refusing to serve them more alcohol. I admit, they’ve toned it down. Perhaps if you throw Pearl and Garnet into the mix, the dynamic becomes more stable. Thank goodness they don’t seem to recognize me though. The reason I didn’t tell you while we were beginning to date, was because it might’ve made things awkward.”

Peridot moved her head up and down slowly. “For them, it might have.” Mentally she agreed, it was probably best if Lapis did not bring it up with them in the future. It made sense why initially she was wary of her housemates.

Her girlfriend gave a long sigh. “I’m getting pretty tired of working at that place. Lately it feels like I’m running solely on caffeine and my survival instincts, with having to work and juggle school.”

“But you don’t _have_ to be working,” Peridot returned. “Didn’t you say you’re well off already?”

“My mother is,” corrected Lapis. “She’s already doing enough, agreeing to pay for my education and housing.”

“So why waste your energy at a place you don’t even like working, instead of investing it all on this invaluable opportunity to go to school?” The blonde did not intend to passively give advice to her girlfriend. Her question came from a true lack of understanding.

“Because at least I know where Malachite is now.”

Peridot’s course of thought took a few steps back. That explained it.

“When I get off of work, I sometimes go the long way to my car, to pass by the bar she works at. I don’t know why. It’s not like she cares about me or mom, and I have more negative memories of her than good.”

“Have you seen her anymore from passing?”

“Only once,” her violet eyes turned wistful as they landed on Peridot. “I want to talk to her, I do know that much.”

“I can be there for you, if you do,” Peridot said automatically, as if she was itching for a chance to help or comfort her girlfriend.

Breaking out a smile, Lapis reached out with one hand and stroked Peridot’s cheek. This innocent and loving contact caused the fair skinned girl’s cheeks to redden.

“I know you want to be there for me, and that’s another reason why you are a good person, whether you believe it or not. But this is something I should do solo, if I ever figure out what to say.” Lapis did not seem convinced by her own words either, but the blonde knew she would stick by them.

“Well, I’m always here for you.”

“Another example of why you’re amazing.”

After a few more minutes passed, both girls resumed watching the teen drama, realizing they had talked through a couple episodes. It was almost midnight and they were both dozing off, cuddling on the long couch. Half mindedly, Peridot reached for her phone charging on the coffee table. She pressed the power button, realizing it was turned off. The device flashed its welcome display before the lock screen. A new text message from a number she did not recognize. Promptly, she opened it, before being taken aback.

It was her own mother, Yellow Diamond.

Eyes freezing on the text, her heart began to race. What did she want? Did she find out about the money? How did she even find her anyway?

All of the questions one could think swarmed Peridot’s critical brain. But she was brought by a soothing pulse, and soft breathing. Lapis was now asleep, holding her. Like magic her nerves were soothed, not rid of, but reduced.

Peridot made a decision, one not to be taken lightly, to text her mother back the next morning. It was late, and she did not want to say anything unwise while half-asleep. Turning her phone off again, she put it back on the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know how I feel about this chapter. I'm doing my best to not let personal matters get in the way of the story.


	19. Who's Hungry for Breakfast?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot responds to the text from the previous night, and meets her mother for breakfast.

Not texting her mother back right away was probably the third worst decision Peridot ever made in her life. The second worst was the first time in early middle school, when she tried hacking into the school server system. Back then, she was far less careful and still beginning out. The worst decision she forced out of her mind. She did not want to ever think of it.

“More water for you ma’am?” The waiter in black and white held out the pitcher ready to pour.

Looking up, she acknowledged the man’s presence. “That’d be great, thanks.” Being here was the last place she wanted to be today.

Sitting across from the blonde was none other than her _dear_ mother, Yellow Diamond. Well, not at that moment, since the middle aged woman needed to take a work call and went outside. It was a huge relief, since they only sat down at the tastefully decorated table a couple minutes ago. It was the type of fancy restaurant with a chandelier, leather seats, and contemporary artwork on the walls. The kind of place one could imagine rich people going to, just to throw an obscene amount of money around for the hell of it. For twenty bucks, she could order a small stack of mediocre pancakes with their supposedly famous bacon maple syrup.

Located in the heart of downtown Beach City, the restaurant overlooked the ocean from the twelfth floor of the hotel. Not a cloud in the sky, though the weather outside was starting to cool down somewhat. Peridot let her mind trail back to earlier that morning, a few hours ago.

Waking up next to Lapis was like a dream. It almost made her forget about the drama between Pearl and Amethyst. Things should have cooled down a bit between the two, though tensions would still be high. She would have fallen back asleep if it weren’t for her phone continuously ringing by her side.

Groaning, Peridot turned over to silence it. She could not remember setting an alarm last night. It took her a few seconds looking at the digital screen to realize someone was calling her instead. The contact name read in all caps “The Devil,” and giant picture of her mother’s angry face appeared. Now she fully remembered. Last night she never texted her mother back. Not a wise move. The last time she pulled that, Yellow Diamond yelled at her furiously. Working at Diamond, she also observed how her mother could become royally pissed off in seconds, if her executives or assistants took their time to get back to her. So what was going to happen to her?

She could not let her phone keep ringing, it might wake up Lapis. Slowly she rose off the couch and out of Lapis’ embrace. Tiptoeing across the living room, she opened the sliding glass door to the backyard patio. There was no way Lapis was going to hear this conversation this early in the morning. Closing the door behind her, she looked at her screen once more and gulped. This was the second call, and her phone was still ringing. Shutting her eyes tight, she swiped right to answer and put the phone next to her ear. It was too early for this. It was… 7 o’clock?

The blonde spoke first, as impersonal as she could. “This is Peridot.”

“ _Hello Peridot._ ” It was definitely her mother’s voice, but not her usual tone. On the other end, she seemed calm and even confident. Was her mother not upset that she ignored her text?

“I’m glad you decided to answer,” she continued. “After all it’s been such a long time since we’ve last talked. Three years, hasn’t it? Since you have never bothered to check in with your own mother, I decided to take initiative upon myself.”

“How did you find this number?” It was the first thing Peridot thought. Ever since she left home out of the blue, she covered her tracks thoroughly, so no one from Diamond could track her. After backing up all her data and files, she sold her own Diamond phone and computer, before switching to a different carrier and model. From there, Peridot changed all her IP addresses, email addresses, made her number untraceable, along with several other steps. But it was obvious now she had failed to cover some detail. Her mother on the other line was proof of that.

Yellow Diamond just laughed. “I admit, you did pretty well for a while. Setting up several fake phone numbers with your name in our system, and randomizing their locations around the world was not a bad move. In reality, you had cloned another phone to get us off your back, before discarding it and switching to a new number. But it looks like it’s come to a dead end.”

Peridot would not let her mother intimidate her. She had already known Diamond hired offsite programmers, and secretly hackers to do questionably illegal work. So she pretended not to be phased. As long as she was on the other line, her mother could not see her face. “Congratulations.”

“Still sarcastic I see. How very un-classy. Now on to more important matters. I’ve set up reservations for Thatcher’s Kitchen at nine downtown. I would highly recommend you show up. We will discuss everything then,” and just like that, her mother hung up.

 _Un-classy, huh. Look who’s talking._ It only gave her an hour to run back home, dress in some fresh clothes, and another hour in traffic to drive there. If she wanted to make it on time, she needed to leave now.

Quietly walking back through the door before closing it behind her, Lapis spoke. “Who was that?”

She did not expect her girlfriend to wake up. There was no hiding anything from Lapis anymore. “That was my mother.”

The girl’s violet eyes went alert, and she sat up. “Is something wrong? What did she need?” Lapis already knew about Peridot’s shaky relationship with Yellow Diamond, though not all of the details yet. That, like everything else, was just a matter of time.

“She wants to meet me for breakfast at nine downtown. I’m not really sure what she wants,” Peridot felt blank. The blonde had a clue or two about why her mother called in the first place. But she did not want to say anything when she did not know for certain.

Lapis was already getting up off the couch, folding the blanket they slept under. “Well if its downtown, you should probably go back you your place to get whatever you need.”

 _Whatever I need,_ Peridot thought. Suddenly an idea crept into her head. “You’re right! I’m sorry for leaving you so early. But I promise to tell you how it went afterwards,” Peridot swooped down to her girlfriend’s level to give her a peck on the lips, as she grabbed her bag. At first, Lapis looked confused, but that changed into a blushing smile.

“Okay, you dork. Don’t drive too fast now.”

“I’m the most careful driver ever, when do I ever drive fast?”

The scene in Peridot’s mind fast forwarded to being stuck in heavy Beach City traffic, and trying to speed around the ocean of cars. If this did not move faster she would be late. Peridot swore in frustration, both hands on the wheel, as she navigated around a car which was moving way too slow. Okay, so maybe Lapis knew her better than she did when it came to driving.

She was brought back to the present, sitting in her chair waiting for Yellow Diamond to come back. The waiter refilled her water, as she looked out the window. What was taking her so long? What was she doing there anyway? Despite all the thoughts steaming in her head, she had no intention of bailing on breakfast. That would be a sure fire way to make Yellow Diamond even more heated. Even if she did leave the restaurant, Peridot was more than sure her mother knew where she lived, now that she had her phone number. If not, she had to be careful to not be followed on the way back.

The ground beneath her chair vibrated due to the all familiar presence approaching. Yellow Diamond was off her phone now, and sitting down at the other side of the two person table. She was wearing some posh, designer dress and a well-fitting blazer that complimented the ensemble. The heels were about three inches high, and wore them confidently despite her tall physique. Peridot remembered having to dress similar to that, and she shuddered. She was perfectly content in her jeans, white tennis shoes, and sage green button down shirt, which all made up a wholly casual outfit. Being at a restaurant as nice as this, Peridot consciously knew it would irritate her.  

Yellow Diamond gave Peridot a critiquing down-up look. “You look classy today.”

At least the blonde was certain where her sarcasm came from.

“It’s comfortable,” she responded weakly. Her comeback game was not the strongest today.

“To look like you just rolled out of bed in the morning? I suppose, for someone your type.”

What did she ever do to deserve this?

“You know, when I was your age… you’re around what, nineteen or twenty?”

“Twenty two.”

“Even _before_ your age, I was pioneering nanotechnology, redefining the concept of the computer and cell phone. While everyone else was dawdling around on their floppy drives, I was leading the fine-tuning of the quantum shard. In a blink of an eye, primeval technology evolved exponentially. It’s not only made electronics faster, lighter, but has benefitted all trades. Medicine, agriculture, and national security are only a few industries that have drastically changed. And still to this day, it keeps on growing. Now let me ask you this; what are _you_ doing with your life Peridot?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but Yellow Diamond interrupted her.

“Don’t waste your time, it was a rhetorical question. I already know. Let it soak in, take some time to think it over. This is one, if not _the_ most important questions you’ll ever ask yourself in your life. ”

The waiter arrived at an impeccable time to take their order. “Oh yes, I will have the omelet with goat cheese, and a cup of earl gray tea.” She crooked her head towards Peridot.

Not knowing what she wanted, Peridot blurted out the first thing she read on her menu. “I’ll take the pancakes with bacon-maple syrup.” Handing the menu to the man serving them, she instinctively took a sip of water as he walked away.

“Now to cut to the chase. Which one of my competitors are you working for?”

“The past few years I’ve freelanced primarily for privately owned clients remotely. I suppose you could consider them competition from a basic standpoint, though none of them compare in any way to Diamond.” It was all thoroughly true. Technically speaking, she had many clients, but none of which Yellow Diamond would consider a major threat.

The business woman pierced the blonde with her light amber eyes. Did she believe her?

“Then why did you do it?”

“Take my rightfully earned pay, which likely includes my small inheritance anyway?”

Putting her fingertips to her forehead, she quietly groaned as if the conversation itself was a pain. “I thought you would have learned by now, after all these years. Nobody screws around with me and gets away with it. I’m talking about certain confidential material you backed up on your computer, and deleted from Diamond’s shard drives.

“I never stole information for any competitors, if that’s what you’re implying.” Before going to college, she only took passwords and pin numbers which granted her access to private files and Diamond’s system. She could not remember the last time she used any of them, apart from if a password changed. Written down in her notebook, Peridot simply liked to have this access of information for the sake of having it. None of it ever went into competitor hands. She once thought about it, but the notion seemed petty, and Peridot was ready to move on.  

“Don’t fuck with me. You were the one who ran away to college with the money, after worming your way into our own profoundly secured network. It’s time to cut the bullshit and own up Peridot.” She took a sip of her tea, which was promptly brought.

“I’m telling you the truth, I never laid a finger on it. If I had anything to do with it, your lousy security team would have already found some connection leading to me.”

Yellow Diamond breathed slowly. She was thinking, or, more like conniving something. “You know what, I’m going to make a little business deal with you. If you can present to me the missing material by the time you graduate, you get to keep your head and I won’t press charges. In other words, you are off the hook.”

“How can I, when I don’t know what it is, and it’s not in my possession?”

“I don’t think it got through the first time. Do you know what happens to people who steal the amount of money you took, and hack into a server like ours? They go to prison, for a very, very long time. But wait there’s more. Nobody in your field would ever want to hire you again. It would simply ruin your integrity and trustworthiness. However, I’m going to offer you something generous. If you do put the classified research in my own to hands, you can keep the money and continue going to college.”

She knew Yellow Diamond was being completely serious. There was no wavering in the CEO’s powerful, yet collected voice. If she was not before, Peridot was between a rock and a hard place. She had no idea what “sensitive information” her mother was talking about. Did it relate to some hushed about project, or was it entirely personal? How could she start looking for something, if she did not know what it was? A brewing thought was that Yellow Diamond knew she did not have it, that this was her way of cruel revenge.

“And if I don’t want to accept to this business proposition?”

“You would only do that if you were a fool. There would be no mercy. The police would be informed and have you arrested. I am graciously giving you this chance to prove yourself, under a few conditions.”

Peridot fell silent. She had to make a decision, right now. If she did not at breakfast, it would be interpreted to Yellow Diamond as declining the offer. Sighing in frustration, she said a single word. “Deal.”

“Good to hear. From now until your graduation, you will report to me, once you do decide to be accountable for your actions. Are we clear?”

“Yeah,” Peridot nodded. “Okay.”

“If I need to reach you, I will contact you directly from the number I called you will. You will answer your phone, whatever time it may be. And do not even think of calling unless you have the material,” she gave her daughter a suspicious glare, before chiseling a small bite off of her plate. Peridot did not even notice that the server already delivered their food.

But Peridot had no appetite. Her stomach churned with uneasiness.

Yellow Diamond suddenly flagged the waiter down, raising her hand in an official manner, “Hello, may I have the check and a box to go please?” Peridot hated when she put on polite and formal front with strangers.

Shortly after, he brought the box Yellow Diamond requested, and went to process the check with her credit card. “I must be going now, I have a flight to New York in the next hour and a half. I’m glad we had this talk, Peridot.”

The blonde girl said nothing. She could not bring herself to say the same.

As soon as she scribbled her signature on the receipt, she stood up from the table. “Remember, I’m only giving you until graduation. You better place the information in my hands by then.” Without saying even a goodbye, she briskly walked away. Peridot did not look back.

Instead of getting up, Peridot still sat there at the table, processing the whole conversation while staring at her stack of pancakes. The waiter who served their table came over and asked, “Would you like a box as well miss?”

“That would be great, thanks,” her voice monotone.

Scooping her plate from the table, he gracefully put her food in a white origami style to-go box. He placed it in a branded paper bag, handed back to her, and thanked her for coming in for breakfast.

Yellow Diamond did not care a smidgen about her. While she denied that fact growing up, Peridot learned the hard truth when she grew and matured. In the past she so badly wanted make her mother proud. Pushing herself as hard as imaginable, she never gained any acknowledgement for her high accomplishments. But it only prompted the blonde to do better. Maybe that was why she requested to work for the monolithic company in the first place. During that long season at Diamond Co., she learned to accept how uncaring the CEO was. If she had not worked at Diamond, it may have taken her longer to realize and acquiesce it. Rather than brooding it over, she forcing herself to move on. It was much easier said than done, but she did it.

Yellow Diamond invading her life once more, prohibited her from moving on. Her mother would not allow her own daughter to pursue her own life. What kind of mother would threaten to imprison their child? Laughing in her head, Peridot knew well enough what the real message of this meeting was. The CEO was trying to force Peridot to work for Diamond again, and resume working for the company. While she hated to admit it, the intimidation worked.

Did she truly think she could just take her rightfully earned pay from Diamond, and skip off into the sunset leaving no trace? Though she had an unblemished, clean cut record before, it did not mean anything to the CEO. Peridot knew the amount she took was comparable to only stealing a dollar, based on the company’s worth. But now she was being accused of tampering with files for an allegedly secret project, which her mother actually gave a shit about. The short girl could only imagine how much spending Diamond was putting into it. A feeling of doubt washed over her. Could she have accidently taken information with her from Diamond, which she did not recognize to be sensitive? Pressing back into the recesses of her mind, she could not recall deleting anything, accidentally or intentionally.

While riding down the sleek glass elevator, Peridot supposed the silver lining to this so called breakfast was the vast view of the ocean. The sun leaking in gave her pale face a soft glow and Peridot smiled.

Sliding a hand in her shirt pocket, she clicked a button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated, and writing the next chapter. Not sure how I like this one. 
> 
> Yellow Diamond is not the nicest person.


	20. Starting Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot, Lapis, and Blue Pearl have a study session in the library.

“Oh my goodness, thank you!” Lapis exclaimed, as much as she was allowed to with a hushed voice. “You have no idea how much I needed this.”

“I think I have a clue.”

Her girlfriend took a long sip of the large Americano in her hand, and smiled as the warming drink rejuvenated her. Peridot knew it was the only drink she would get when they took coffee breaks, and figured she especially needed it this afternoon. The poor girl ended up working all last night. When Peridot went to pick her up, she could see small tears from exhaustion running down her cheeks. Lapis was overworking herself, and Peridot wished with all her might she could relieve her stress. She knew what that feeling was like.

The least she could do was bring her coffee.

Lapis kissed her on the cheek, with the scent of espresso on her lips. It was earthy and floral at the same time.

Blue Pearl was with Lapis when Peridot met up with her at the library. Now that midterms were just around the corner, they felt stuck studying at their houses. It was good to get out, or rather, study in a different kind of environment. They went down to the basement floor, where it was usually quieter and could have a bit of solitude. It was also the place where Peridot’s other housemates studied when they were not at the temple.

 “If I knew you would be here I would have brought you one too,” Peridot turned to Blue.

“Don’t worry, lately water has been my primary go to drink,” she held up a gallon bottle hiding under her chair, and set it on the table.

“That’s dedication,” Lapis remarked to her roommate, as she pulled out her notes and textbooks. Sitting next to Peridot at the table with Blue on the other side, she slid a book across. “I’m going to start on my Psychology of Language class if you want to use this first.”

Her girlfriend was lucky that she was able to share books with her roommate. Peridot did not have that luxury, even though most of her work was on her computer. She pulled her laptop open, and the keys glowed green once it turned on. Despite taking eighteen units, the only test she had yet to study for was for her VLSI Systems class. She felt very confident about her other upcoming exams.

Now that they started to spend more time with each other, Peridot felt more comfortable around Lapis’ quiet housemate. Realizing she was just shy around people, she opened up after the three of them hung out for the first time. She was a very kind person, and complimented Peridot on her vintage 80’s band shirt, knowing their music.

Peridot did not take Blue as the kind of girl to be into 80’s punk rock.

“I still don’t know how you understand that,” Lapis peered over the blonde’s shoulder, looking at her computer screen.

“Well I could never understand that,” Peridot pointed to the tan girl’s chicken scratch notes in good humor, and grinned.

“Neither do I,” Blue said, supporting Peridot’s claim.

“Oh please, I’m trying. It’s not like I have the time to write everything out in perfect cursive,” she glanced at her roommate.

“It’s a dying art,” she said in her defense.

“On a different subject,” Lapis tactfully attempted to get the attention off of her, “you should come to Stop, Rock N’ Roll this Friday.”

“That campus concert event?”

Lapis nodded, “Rumor has it they invited a surprise artist to show up. The line-up looks pretty good as well,” she passed the list on her phone to Blue. “Peridot’s coming along as well.”

“I am?” The pale girl said, caught off guard. Being a senior, the thought of spending a Friday night on campus did not sound that appealing. On the other hand, she usually just stayed at home or went to the 24 hour diner with Lapis, which to people was not a super exciting way of spending a Friday night. Maybe it would be nice to go to a school related event or two, just to say she experienced some form of campus life before graduation.

“I am,” Peridot said less confused, confirming Lapis’ suggestion.

“Afterward we can go out to celebrate finishing midterms. I have that night off of work.”

“It’s about time, you work so much,” Peridot agreed fully with Blue’s statement.

“Well, that’s how it is I suppose.” The blonde could see right through her words. Maybe it was the glare in the lighting, but dark circles revealed themselves much more prominently under her violet eyes. The previous evening when they were driving together, they contrasted against the street light seeping through the car windows.

Though Peridot kept asking herself why Lapis stuck with this in the first place, she knew the answer.

“I work Saturday and part of Sunday though.”

When they were alone, the way she talked about work was becoming increasingly discouraging.

_She really is not liking it._

Though Lapis was human and felt down at moments, she never brooded over anything for over a long period of time. Her true nature was upbeat and cheerful. Or was she hiding it, in attempt to spare Peridot her more negative emotions?

She hoped that was not the case.

This is why she did not tell Lapis all the details about meeting her mother for breakfast. Lapis, being caring and sweet, checked in with Peridot later that day to hear how it went. She already knew that Peridot and her mother did not get along, or at least a delicate relationship.

Deciding to share the general details, Peridot told her that most of the time consisted of her mother berating her on different aspects of her life. She refrained from confiding with her the deal she made, since she was still toying with going the easy route of ignoring it.

“Does she know about us?”

“I don’t know.”

If or when Yellow Diamond found out her daughter was dating a girl, she would definitely not be “chill” about it. The CEO, wanting her life to depict the ideal portrait, would not have any of it. Peridot would not fit in.

Another part of her mind also whispered that her mother already knew, that she was waiting for Peridot to tell her.

Like everything else in the world, this also had a time where it would come to light. Her only desire was to be mentally ready, even in just the slightest way.

Peridot remembered back to the day she went for breakfast, and feeling lost. Yellow Diamond’s words gripped her like a leech that would just not come off.

_“What are you doing with your life?”_

Of course, she was majoring in computer science and achieved a full ride through college. She was one of the youngest, if not _the_ youngest, employees to work at Diamond, officially or unofficially. That alone, not including the freelance work she did, could help her land a position almost anywhere. For the first time in her life she had real friends that considered her one as well. On top of everything, she was dating Lapis Lazuli, the most beautiful girl inside and out. But all this led to a next question.

Where is this all going?

Continuing to type on the computer keyboard, her eyes moved to the right, in the direction where Lapis was sitting. With a hand supporting her head, Lapis pursed her lips slightly to the side as she read. She was in her deep studying mode, as the blonde had come to realize over time. Peridot blushed slightly. Even when she was heavily focusing, she was pretty darn cute.

An overwhelming feeling of care and gratefulness swept over her. She was amazing. There was not any other way she could describe it, despite feeling so much for the blue haired girl.

Well, maybe one other way.

Her mind wandered off again, as she multitasked with her homework. After getting into her car and leaving the hotel restaurant, she was finally able to make a call. Having to wait all morning until that point, she pressed call.

“Good morning Peridot,” the warm, calming voice answered.

Just her voice was music to her ears, after listening to her mother all morning. “Hi Garnet.”

“Are you feeling better after yesterday?”

“I should be the one to ask you that,” after all, Garnet was the one who stayed to calm Pearl and Amethyst. Peridot just took off. “How’s everything back home?”

“Better. After you left, we were able to sit down and talk about things more calmly. It took a bit longer though to bring Amethyst back down.”

“That sounds like her. How did that go?”

“A lot of pent up emotion was released, and they both successfully expressed what they wanted to. In the end, they both listened to what each other had to say.”

“I… I’m sorry for not being there. They were both hurting and I ran away.”

“They understood, and I told you to in the first place. You’re sweet for caring about them, and I’m sure in any other situation your presence would’ve helped. But in this case, because they considered you to be a part of the situation, it was wasn’t alleviating this circumstance.”

“Great,” Peridot spoke, all too mad at herself.

“None of this was your fault. You wanted to support the both of them equally, and unfortunately they took it out on you. It was their way of coping, of avoiding what really needed to be said. You didn’t run away Peridot.”

So why did she still feel awful about it?

“Are they still upset with me?”

“I can’t say for certain. The way you can know for sure is by talking to them. Separately would be better than at the same time.”

The blonde wanted to say in the phone how they must hate her, how they would never consider listening to her. But she did not. It would only sound stupid self-pity to Garnet.

“Though you may not feel like it now, you are a good friend and so are your intentions. It’s a great quality about you,” Garnet continued, as if she read her mind. “In the end, I know they’ll appreciate you for wanting to talk.”

Her eyes watered. What was this? Was it due to her own anxiety towards her mother, the stress coming from work and school, or that her friends might not actually resent her? Peridot looked down at the steering wheel. Could it be from simply keeping everything in?

Wiping her eyes with her only available hand, she was not about to let herself tear up about anything. She was not alone, was not the only one of her friends dealing with life’s problems. And above all else there was Lapis, always ready to listen, though she had her own burdens. But with that knowledge, why did she still feel alone? No. She would not subject herself to those feelings.

It was not true, she was not alone.

Her hands were shaking, and despite protesting, her eyes became glassy. She grit her teeth.

“Where are you Peridot?” Garnet asked, interrupting her thoughts. How long was she silent for?

“W-What, I’m in a parking lot.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure.” She had no idea how on earth those words exited her mouth.

“Are you okay to drive?”

“Yes,” it was a feeble answer.

“Okay. I’ll be home since I don’t work today. When you get back, we’ll go out and do something fun. My treat.”

Peridot initially refused the gesture of Garnet treating her, but she insisted.

The drive home from downtown was a blur. When she parked in the driveway, and walked inside the house, Garnet was in the living room reading. She got up from the couch and went over to give Peridot a reassuring hug. They ended up going for a walk to get some ice cream from the convenience store. It was a simple way of hanging out. But she found just the task of moving around distracted her mind for a while, and made her feel less terrible.

The rest of the day went a little better after that.

“Ready for dinner? I’m starving,” Lapis put a hand over her stomach, which moved away from the library table. She was enthusiastic about eating. 

“Give me a minute, I need to wrap this up,” Peridot’s eyes were fixed on the screen. It took her only a few seconds.

“If I had a quarter for every time you say that, I would be rich.”

“All the more to say it.”

The blonde chuckled.

She was beginning to feel alright again.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peridot has had a lot going on, and she's so unsure about to appropriately handle it all. Maybe having a mentor or counselor to talk to would help.


	21. Stop, Rock, & Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spending a Friday night on campus isn't so bad, if your super cute girlfriend is there too.

“Over here Peri!”

Lapis Lazuli was sitting ahead with Blue Pearl on the grassy sports field, waving to her. She wore her signature grin, something Peridot absolutely adored.

Navigating through the field of people, the blonde dropped to the ground beside her girlfriend, with Blue on the other side.

She unzipped her snowboarding backpack she took everywhere with her. Though she did not do any snowboarding, she liked how the size of the bag could fit just about anything and everything.

“I just left as the Caf was closing, and made you your favorite,” Peridot handed Lapis a grilled Panini with turkey. “Don’t worry Blue, I made you one too.”

“Thanks Peridot,” Blue accepted the sandwich.

“You are seriously the best, you know that?” Lapis gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Of course,” she shrugged it off nonchalantly, but couldn’t hold back a blush. “And that’s not all.” Peridot whipped out a plastic zip bag full of cookies. “They had these in the Caf too, so logically I had to snag some.”

“The legendary m&m cookies? The Caf never has these! These are the best,” the blue haired girl took one and chewed it slowly, savoring it. “Not to dry, not to soft, just perfect.”

“I was just telling Lapis how I gave my two weeks’ notice today,” Blue piped in.

“Huh? The one at the coffee shop?”

“Mmhmm. I liked it and all, but shifts were beginning to interfere with classes. My boss understood.”

“Are you going to find something else?”

The thin girl shook her head. “Nah, it’s time for me to take a break from work. I don’t think I do well with the stress it adds.”

Peridot could not read if she was also subliminally hinting for Lapis to consider the same.

But Lapis had this Friday off, and suggested they check out the Stop, Rock, & Roll event the university put out annually. What more fun could they have on a Friday night, then spend it on their campus sports field? Surprisingly a huge crowd of people decided spending their Friday night at school would be fun too.

“So who’s the line up?” Peridot asked.

“Um, let me check,” Lapis pulled the list on her phone screen and handed it to Peridot. On stage the first group started to play. The first performer who led off the concert, Mike Krol or some similar sounding name, was pretty decent.

In fact, the whole school concert event was not half bad. Peridot found herself pleasantly relaxed, leaning back, with both hands supporting her up. The night sky was bright even when dark, as always, from living in the city. The floodlights from the stage made the field that much brighter, casting a soft glow on Lapis, creating soft yet stark highlights and shadows. Lapis had done something different with her usual hairstyle. A small bunch of hair was pulled back with a mini hair tie, and a tiny braid trailed the side of her head. Peridot could not help herself from running a finger over it, before nuzzling her head onto her shoulder.

Kissing the top of her blonde head, Lapis entwined their fingers behind them as she continued talking to Blue and eat her sandwich. This was beginning to feel much more natural. Peridot compared herself to when she first held Lapis’ hand. Back then she was a bundle of nerves hyped up on hormones, when physical touch was a foreign concept in her life. It was so embarrassing, knowing she was the inexperienced one regarding relationships, and having that show through. But Lapis accepted her initial carefulness even still, moving at her pace, without pushing any expectations of her own. It gave the blonde a new sense of confidence and comfort never before experienced.

Sweet flowers filled her lungs. Lapis’ aroma. It never failed to put Peridot at ease. She wanted to soak it up while they slept under her bed covers tonight. New thoughts invaded her mind, refusing to disappear. Another important detail about Lapis’ aura was it never wavered in its knack for turning Peridot on.

The blonde noticed both her girlfriend and Blue Pearl seemed distracted, and lifted her head.

“What’s up Blue?” Lapis asked.

“It’s… the girl I was telling you about. The one in my class.”

Peridot did not know who she was talking about. She lifted her head curiously, now alert.

“Oh I need to know who this is,” Lapis insisted.

“You don’t know her name?” Peridot asked, confused.

Blue shook her head, “Not yet, I wish I did. She’s in one of my lecture classes, so it makes it harder to talk to people. I don’t know if I’d even have the courage to though. She’s so pretty...”

Pieces to the puzzle were coming together now. All this time Peridot thought Blue was straight. Figures, since it was impossible anyway to figure out people’s sexuality without them sharing it. What did she really expect? Before she first came out, she thought she was the only one who was different in that sense. College was quick to tutor her on how that was not true. “Do you like her?”

“A little,” Blue hesitated, partially hiding her face with her hands.

Lapis put a friendly hand on her back. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, you’re in good company after all. Now, where is she?” A mischievous grin appeared on her face.

Blue pointed slightly to the left of them. “Over there, the one with the pink hair. D-don’t look too fast or she’ll see you.”

Both Peridot and Lapis simultaneously moved their eyes to the side to sneak a peek at Blue’s crush. Peridot’s eyes grew big, while Lapis could not help but let out a snort.

“What’s wrong?” Blue became self-conscious, and Lapis restrained herself from laughing.

“That, right there, is my housemate,” Peridot answered her.

The meek girl covered her mouth in surprise. “No way.”

“Her name’s Pearl, since you’re wondering. Same as your last name.”  

“Of all of Peridot’s housemates, she seems to be the most put together. Her and Garnet,” Lapis stated like it was fact.

Peridot knew personally what Pearl was going through. The pink haired girl would stay in the room she shared with Garnet most of the time, when she was not at school.

 _“Give her some time,”_ Peridot remembered Garnet saying. _“She will come around when she’s ready to open up again.”_

The day after Peridot ate breakfast with Yellow Diamond, she gathered the courage to talk to Amethyst and Pearl. Separately of course. Even though Amethyst was looking emotionally beat, they ended up having a good conversation and reconciling their friendship. The platinum blonde apologized for taking it out on Peridot, saying it was not right of her to do so. Peridot quickly forgave, and gave her roommate a hug. That warmed Amethyst, since the blonde was not a “touchy-feely” person to begin with. As if nothing ever happened, they picked up where they left off.

It was different with Pearl.

Knocking on Pearl’s door, she hoped that the pink haired girl would answer. Garnet was the only one she was talking to, and even that was kept to a minimum. No one answered. Peridot did not want to barge in the room without permission, so she tentatively stood there, chest beating with nervousness.

A muffled voice could be heard in the room. Pressing her ear to the door, Peridot realized it was Pearl’s voice. No, not a voice. She was crying.

Backing away, Peridot left for her own room to resume homework. Like Garnet said before, she needed space. She would talk to her housemate when she was ready.

But Peridot was not going to say all of that, especially when Lapis did not even know the details of Pearl and Amethyst’s fight anyway.

“Hey, Amethyst and Jasper are pretty decent too, when they’re not drinking. You’ve rarely seen them when sober.”

Lapis thought about it. “I suppose so. But forget about them, wouldn’t Blue and Pearl be a cute looking couple?”

“Stop,” Blue whispered, elongating the word. Her hands remained covering her cheeks.

“Eh I suppose they would be aesthetically good looking together,” Peridot played along.

“You really think so?”

Lapis moved the hand from Blue’s back to her shoulder. “You can tell us personally, when you two get hitched.”

“I don’t even know her yet. You both are so mean.”

“All in good nature,” Lapis teased.

Peridot tossed another look over to her housemate. Pearl was sitting several feet away, with many groups of people between them. She was with someone. Surprised, Peridot assumed she would not go to these kind of school events, after sentencing herself lately to solitary confinement. Was Garnet with her?

Someone was with the pink haired girl, she made out the figure. But it was not Garnet.

_Rose… Quartz!?_

But it was not. Peridot squinted her eyes to see, wishing she did not just run dry of eye drops for her contacts. Later she would have to make a trip to the convenience store, while paying Lars a visit.

It was a different girl who shared an awfully close resemblance to Amethyst’s mom. The girl had almost the same build, facial structure, and even identical hair color. But the mystery girl did not dress like Rose in the slightest. She wore a crop top, paired with ripped skinny jeans and combat boots. A green, plaid flannel was tied around her waist, and something glinted on her face which Peridot assumed from that distance was a lip piercing.

Pearl was in very close proximity to this girl; that was blatant. And she was… laughing? Was Pearl flirting with her? Alternatively, it was clear the hot pink haired girl was smitten with her housemate.

 _She doesn’t seem like Pearl’s type,_ Peridot thought. But then again, she had no knowledge of what Pearl’s type was, if she even had one. Besides Rose Quartz that is. The blonde had always pictured Pearl going for a girl who was well-kept and somewhat Victorian, perhaps with an edgy flair.

If Pearl was with anybody else other than the Rose clone, Peridot would have shrugged it off and think they were just hanging out. But the resemblance was uncanny. Pearl could not have ignored it either.

Hopefully Blue would not notice them together, if she had not already.

Distracting Blue Pearl from also noticing the mystery girl, Peridot began to list off random facts about her housemate, how she was quick to take care of people and was a tidy person as well.

“In conclusion, you two would have many things in common,” Peridot decided. “And you’re in luck. She likes girls too. The possibility of her turning you down by saying she’s straight is nil.”

Sighing Blue said, “Now it’s just a matter of talking to her, which might never happen.”

“And thus, is how the ballad of Blue and Pearl came to a tragic end,” Lapis jested further.

“That’s so depressing.” Peridot added with a hint of sarcasm. An idea crossed her mind. “So Blue, sometimes my housemates go out on the weekend, and actually care to invite me and Lapis. Next time they do, you should come with us. I can introduce you to them.”

“S-Seriously?”

“Contrary to Lapis over here, I’m not the joking type.”

Lapis nudged her girlfriend playfully. “Yeah you try to be though, but it either comes out as sarcasm or bad puns.”

“There’s no such thing as a bad pun. Every pun can be appreciated in its own unique way.”

“Hmm I could debate that.”

“I personally think they’re pretty witty,” Blue chimed in.

“See Lapis? Even your roommate agrees with me,” Peridot said smugly.

“Don’t encourage her.” Peridot knew she secretly got a kick out of them, as well as her fictional funny bone.

The last song on the set began to roll out, before the next band would take the stage. It was a cover of a 90’s song Peridot had not listened to since she was in middle school. Music was the only thing which kept her alive during those dreadful years. From the first bell to when her last class got out, she was always listening to music. Even during classes, she would have one earbud sneakily hidden in one ear, invisible to everyone. Just hearing singing voices speaking personally to her throughout the day, made her feel less alone. Not judging, not staring, not belittling her, just singing.

“I love this song,” both Peridot and Lapis reacted at the same time, and looked at each other funny.

Laying down face up on the grass, Lapis sighed. “I could actually relax to this.”

The night was still beginning. After the concert, they would mosey on over to the twenty four hour diner five minutes away, as was tradition. Or maybe they would do something completely different, like sneak onto the beach at midnight for a bonfire. With Lapis she never knew, but that’s what made her girlfriend so exciting.

The blue haired girl’s phone buzzed, and picked up her phone as fast as a mantis while striking. She groaned.

“I spoke too soon.”

“That doesn’t sound very promising,” the blonde said, observing her girlfriend, waiting.

“I was just called into work. Apparently they are understaffed tonight, after another bartender puked on the floor,” the blue haired girl grumbled.

Peridot wanted to tell her to say no, that it was her day off and she deserved it. Lapis was not getting sleep either. Waking up, she would occasionally see texts from Lapis sent during early morning hours, saying how she could not sleep. Spending the night at her place, Peridot observed this as well, when her girlfriend pretended to be asleep. There was no person more deserving of rest than Lapis. They both knew that. But it looked like she was not about to sleep tonight either.

“They want me to come in as soon as possible.”

“I can drive you,” Peridot offered.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s not very far. I want to.”

Lapis did not put up a fight, and let Peridot’s stubbornness win that round. “Okay. I’ll need to go home and change though.”

“I’ll come with you, back home I mean,” Blue said. “I’m pretty tired from exam week anyway and could use a good dose of Camp Pining Hearts.”

“You got her into that show too?” Peridot laughed in surprise.

“It’s how we first became friends. Our love for Pheobe and Paulette is strong.”

“Don’t tell me you both pair them,” Peridot looked at Blue. “Paulette seriously belongs by herself.”

“What can I say, they’re cute?” Blue defended herself, brushing her bangs away from her eyes.

Peridot was not going to let in she thought so too.

The three drove back home in Peridot’s sedan, and she parked on the street outside of their house. “I’ll be right out,” Lapis told Peridot before running into her house, but not before kissing her sweetly on the lips. “Thank you again. Just give me five minutes.”

“I have all the time in the word.”

And with Lapis, Peridot did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor overworked Lapis.


	22. Toxic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The more hidden the venom, the more dangerous it is. 
> 
> \- Margaret of Valois

“I’ll pick you up from work,” that’s what Peridot said several hours ago.

“The club closes at four, and my shift ends at four thirty. There’s no way I’m letting you wake up that early, just to pick me up from work. I have no problem taking a bus.”

But Peridot insisted. “Perfect, I’ll be there at four thirty on the dot.”

“Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

“And you’re not?” The blonde raised an eyebrow as Lapis got out of her car from the passenger seat. She rolled down her window, and her girlfriend came over to her side.

“I’m only reasonably stubborn,” the blue haired girl folded her arms, mouth in a fake pout.

“Reasonably stubborn, heh. I promise to bring you coffee when I pick you up.”

“That’s playing dirty. How can I refuse caffeine?” The tan girl shortened their distance, starting to lean in towards the window.

“I’ll even throw in a donut with chocolate cream, just to make it a done deal.”

“Okay,” Lapis said. The blonde was surprised she gave in so easily. “Just as long as I can have one more thing.” Closer.

Peridot gulped to suppress her chest which jumped. “What might that be?”

Their noses touched, and Lapis whispered a single word. “You.”

She gave Peridot a sweet, lengthy kiss on the lips. It was soft and gentle, with a hint of tiredness. The pale girl felt oddly sorry for her, wishing she could zap all her weariness away into thin air.

“I think I can manage that.”

Her hand grazed Peridot’s cheek as she walked away from the car. “I’ll call you when my shift’s over.”

Waving at Lapis, she drove away down the street. But instead of going back home right away, she drove to the local convenience store, even though she would be back there in the early morning. Unfortunately Lars was not working that night, meaning no cynical banter could be exchanged. Parking right in front, the lights in the store glared through the night, and Peridot had to shield her eyes. The store bell rang after she walked through the door.

There was no one working behind the counter, and nobody came from the back room. Odd. There usually was one person working here. Even though it gave a particular horror movie vibe, the blonde shrugged it off. No axe murderer was going to pop out from the aisle and end her, right?

Opening the fridge door, she grabbed an energy drink. _For later._ She also grabbed a banana and a protein bar. _To make up for the ‘for later’ drink._

Looking over the last aisle out of curiosity, she saw a man who worked there, counting items and writing on a clipboard.

The man greeted her, “Sorry ‘bout that, for not hearing you come in. This inventory stuff can put me on a one track mind,” he tapped the clipboard with his pen. “Did you find everything alright?” He moved up from his position and headed to behind the register. Peridot followed.

“Yep,” she said simply.

The man looked at Peridot’s items. “Long night ahead of you?”

“Kind of. Nothing exciting.”

Ringing up and bagging her purchases, the clerk weakly joked, “Same over here. Haven’t slept in four days.” Judging by the forced smile and large bags under his eyelids, Peridot could have guessed that.

“Uh, well, thank you,” Peridot took the bag and her receipt.

She had never seen him around the convenience store before. _Must be a new employee_.

But walking back out to her car towards the dark streets, she saw a shockingly familiar figure.

“Lapis?” The small girl called out. “What are you doing here?”

The figure, unmistakably a woman, just froze in place, staring at Peridot like a deer in the headlights. The blonde was walking towards her anyway. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” She continued, until the came face to face. In shock, Peridot realized this was not Lapis. This was her sister, the same girl she saw dancing around the pole at the club. It was Malachite, the sister whom Lapis still cared for while never admitting it, and in turn never heard from.

“I-I’m sorry,” I mistook you for someone else.

The older woman flipped her platinum, almost white, hair to one side. The left side of her head was shaved, revealing the five piercings in her right ear. Her body was toned, probably due to work, and proudly wore a sleeve tattoo up her entire left arm. “You be one of her friends,” she said casually. “We tend to look alike.” She lit her cigarette, taking in a long, heavy drag. 

Peridot was _actually_ talking to Malachite, the sister Lapis had desired to talk to, and with time reconcile with.  She could not believe it. How did she even get in this position anyway? It appeared lately she was asking that question frequently.

“Actually,” Peridot decided to correct her. “Lapis is my girlfriend.”

 _Whoops_. She did not mean to reveal her girlfriend’s sexuality to her sister, it was an automatic, unintentional response. Was it appropriate, what she did? Her gut began to sink, and she felt guilty.

Malachite was unfazed, which did not surprise Peridot either. The older woman worked in the heart of downtown after all, where there were LGBT bars and clubs a plenty. “Girlfriend…” She thought about it for a moment, keeping her piercing and slightly intimidating stare.

But what startled Peridot is when Malachite began to laugh. “I don’t fucking believe it,” she snickered, amused. “You. Her girlfriend!”

“I’m not joking,” Peridot spoke seriously. She would not allow herself to be intimidated.

“I know that,” she snapped out of her laughing. “My little sis isn’t exactly the type to settle.”

“Well she has. And if you still don’t believe it, maybe you should connect with her a little more.” Settle? What did that mean?

Malachite came closer. Still enough distance away, but a foot too close for Peridot’s liking. “Has she told you anything, about me?”

“Not much.” That was true.

The taller girl appeared satisfied by the smaller girl’s response. “Figures. She was never really a family-person anyway.”

“Then you don’t know anything about her. She cares about you and your mom a lot,” the smaller girl countered in her girlfriend’s defense. “Where were you anyway, when your mom was in the hospital?”

The pierced girl froze, but only for a moment. “She was in the hospital, huh.”

“You didn’t know?”

“Nope. No idea. That I suppose, is due to my baby sister as well,” she massaged her chin. Turned away at a slight angle, Malachite no longer faced Peridot straight on. “Whelp, I have to go now. My break is almost over and I still really need a beer. It’s good to know Lapis is doing _so well,”_ she accentuated, crushing the finished cigarette under her five inch tall heel. 

“She is,” the blonde said firmly.

“Oh and another thing,” Malachite grabbed a pen and slip of paper from her leather studded, black purse. Sloppily, she scribbled a nine digit number, using her upper thigh as a surface. Crinkling up the paper, she underhand tossed it to Peridot, who almost dropped the catch.

“Tell Lapis she is always welcome at my place.” Malachite walked off into the store without waiting for a response.

But Peridot was silent anyway, staring down at the paper in hand she unraveled. A phone number. To give to Lapis.

Peridot never went home. Instead she drove back downtown, and walked aimlessly around the strip. Whenever she passed by The Stage where Malachite worked, she examined the silhouettes drinking and dancing. For the entirety of the night, the blonde people watched while chugging energy drinks. Either way, her heart would be racing. Resting on the bench where she and Lapis first met, she took the last sip of her energy drink, wishing she had bought fifty more.

Before having to pick Lapis up, Peridot thought long and hard about what she would say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter, but you will understand Malachite and Lapis much more next chapter.


	23. Malachite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lapis reveals a secret to Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEADS UP to anyone who might be triggered. This chapter is pretty dark and deals with themes of physical abuse and mental-illness. If you think you might be, message me and I'll give you a summary of what happens. Let me know if any tags need to be added, if not already above. 
> 
> Now brace yourself kids for a good dose of feels.

A chocolate cream-filled donut with rainbow sprinkles sat on the passenger seat of Peridot’s car, as promised. Fully exposed out of the bag, she looked at it juicily as she waited, wishing it was not the last one left at the store. Her stomach growled audibly. Five energy drinks within the last six hours did not exactly fill her stomach, but she felt too upset to eat. _I wonder why in the world that is,_ Peridot thought to herself ironically.

The car engine idled as she pulled off to the side of the street. Like background noise, the radio quietly sang 80’s music, though she was not listening. A little wisp of steam continued to flow out of the coffee lid, placed snugly in the cup holder. It was still very hot to the touch.

Though it was not the first time pulling an all-nighter, it was the longest one Peridot could recall. Feeling lost, the blonde stared absently through the front dash window. So this must be how Lapis feels, every other night. All thoughts of worry and anxiety were gone. The only sense remaining was the shaking and jitteriness from too much caffeine. She was pretty sure she was alright to drive.

When she would arrive back home or at Lapis’ place, she was not picky, she planned on sleeping for a long time.

A knock on the side window jolted Peridot up from her slouch. There was Lapis, as put together as she was when Peridot dropped her off. The pale girl fumbled for the unlock button and pressed it twice.

“You don’t know how much I wished to be with you instead of at work.” Lapis went for a long hug, speech slow and drained. “Thank you so much for driving, and breakfast.”

“A promise is a promise,” Peridot cited.

“You should have some,” Lapis offered.

“Nah, I got it for you.” Amazing. Lapis considered sharing even after a graveyard shift.

“Hey Peri.”

“Wha-,” She was cut off as Lapis dabbed chocolate frosting on top of her nose. “That’s uncalled for!”

“Still,” Lapis moved in before the blonde could wipe it off. Kissing her small nose, it was off clean and on the violet eyed girl’s lips. Peridot only stammered. “I want you to try some.”

Her mouth tasted of sweet chocolate. This was much better than some lousy convenience store donut.

“See?” The blue haired girl moved away, as she stroked Peridot’s cheek.

“You never give up, do you?” The shorter girl grumbled, all red, pretending to hate it.

“Never,” she said smugly.

Peridot took her hand into her slightly smaller one, as she put the gear in drive, and merged back onto the road.

It was uniquely beautiful, this time in the morning. Very few cars passed by them, leaving the streets quiet and serene. It was likely the only time Beach City had a little peace. It reminded her of the suburbs she grew up in, at nighttime. There was no way she could miss home, but there were certain aspects and vibes that were absent in the big city. Peridot breathed slowly.  If she was still there, she would have never met her friends, gone to college to pursue her major, or held any chance of meeting a girl as amazing as Lapis.

Lapis. She deserved better than this, a job which overworked her, a mentally unstable mother, a questionably criminal girlfriend, and the biggest asshole of a sister. Malachite vanished when Lapis tried so much to hold the family together, and for no reason. That could never be alright.

Bulging in the pocket of her jacket was a certain phone number she failed to discard. For that entire night, Peridot contemplated giving it to Lapis. How would she take it, if Peridot explained how she accidently bumped into her lost, older sister? In what way would it benefit Lapis? After hours of meditation, the blonde decided to tell her anyway. If she was in Lapis’ shoes, she would want to know herself. It would be dishonest if she did not, and that would not be healthy for any relationship.

“Peri,” Lapis said seriously. “What’s wrong?”

In the corner of her eye, Peridot could see the blue haired girl watching her, but she kept her eyes fixed on the road.

“Why do you think there’s anything wrong?”

“The way your forehead creases when you’re heavily thinking about something.”

“Am I that easy to read?” The blonde was basically admitting it now.

“Kind of.”

Peridot pulled off into a barren high school parking lot. It was just them, parked underneath the overhead street light.

“What’s wrong?” Lapis repeated, with a slight tremble.

“I ran into your sister,” the blonde came out with it, eyes still fixed onto the street.

“What? Malachite?” The blue haired girl gasped.

Nodding, she turned to her stunned girlfriend. “When I was coming out of the convenience store after dropping you off. I mistook her as you.”

Silence. “Did she say anything?” Fear.

“I accidently told her we were dating. It just came out,” Peridot quickly added. “You should’ve been the one to tell her, I didn’t mean to before you. She… laughed.”

Lapis said nothing. That worried Peridot. The blue haired girl was not known to not have a response.

She continued, “She was surprised you were dating.”

“That’s understandable,” looking down. “At least when she used to know me. I dated around, none of it was serious.”

“She also found out about your mom.”

A face appeared on Lapis, which Peridot had never witnessed before. “Did you tell her?’

“… Yes.”

“… She shouldn’t know.”

Her stomach dropped further than a submarine in the ocean. “I-I’m sorry!” Peridot fidgeted, dishing out the phone number Malachite shared. “She wanted me to give you this, and say you’re welcome to visit her anytime. You can mend your relationship now.”

Wait. Was Lapis shaking?

“Peridot, I can’t.” A heavy tear ran down her face, dropping on her jeans. She opened the paper revealing the phone number.

“I thought that’s what you wanted.” Something was very wrong here.

“I can’t!” It was the first time Lapis yelled at her. Rivers ran freely from her violet eyes turned dark. Realizing she had no reason to bark at her girlfriend, Lapis stammered, “I can’t. I didn’t mean to yell Peri.” She covered her face in shame. “You deserve better than me.”

“What on earth are you talking about? You’re the one who deserves better.” Peridot fully believed it to be true.

“I filed a restraining order on Malachite. She can’t be anywhere near my mom.”

“Lapis…” But she could not answer. Both hands covering her eyes, Lapis was consumed in sobs.

_Lapis._

Sniffling, she reached for the passenger seat door and opened it, face devoured.

_Shit._

Like lightning, Peridot unfastened her seat belt and jumped out of the car. Lapis was walking away from the car, but the blonde was not about to allow her to leave alone. She ran over, gripping both arms around her waist from behind in an inflexible embrace.

“It’s okay. I’m here. Please! Allow me to be there for you!” Her eyes shut tightly, baring teeth in distress.

Twisting in her grasp, Peridot allowed Lapis to turn around, facing her. Maneuvering a hand to prop the back of her blonde head, she bent down, kissing her fiercely. It was stuffy and hot, and the tan girl tasted like salt. Grief was expressible in many ways, but by far this was the most heartbreaking method. Lapis’ tears were her own, both of their pulses adjusting to synchronize with the other.

Burying her head into the crook of Peridot’s neck, Lapis breathed, “Malachite abused us both.” Letting gravity take her, Lapis slowly fell to the concrete ground, pulling the shorter girl down with her. “It all started when she began doing drugs. She was first emotionally abusive with my mother, but did not take long to manifest in other ways. It would always be lacing her food and drink with drugs. Mom didn’t realize what was happening or why she was getting sick, until she became addicted and unstable herself. Before then she had depression, but it exploded full force after that.” Choking down her words, she let Peridot fully support the weight of her draping body. The blonde brushed the streams away, forming under her bewitching eyes.

Anger never suited the pale girl well, and was not the type to give into rage. But for the first time in a long while, Peridot was furious for Lapis. How _dare_ she, Malachite, do that to her own family? To think she pitied herself for her own heartless, tyrannical mother, her only family. No, she did not have a family.

Peridot got a feeling there was more to this.

“What about you, Lapis?” She whispered.

“S-She physically abused me, threatened me if I told anyone, I would never see light again. At first she only hit me, told me if I was good she would treat me right. But then one night I woke up in bed and she was on top of me… She did that for a while, beating me if I refused.”

“You mean she…”

Lapis squeezed Peridot tight. _Yeah._

Her own sister, Malachite. If there was true evil in the world, Peridot discovered it.

“I allowed it to happen. I was younger, I was confused. I had to be there for my mom. I grew used to it.”

“You did nothing to deserve this,” Peridot placed her hands on Lapis’ shoulders.

“After the restraining order and Malachite vanished, there were nights I missed her. I let myself miss her.”

“Listen to yourself Lapis!” The blonde attempted shaking Lapis out of it. “It was abuse! You were traumatized. That’s absolutely not okay.”

Peridot snatched the phone number still in Lapis’ hand, crinkled it up into a ball like Malachite did before, and threw it into the middle of the road. She knew why Malachite gave it to her now, and she was disgusted. There was no reaction from Lapis.

“I’m going to help you,” that was a vow, whether Lapis actually wanted her to or not. Picking Lapis up, she held onto her waist as they shuffled back to the car. The blonde opened Lapis’ door and guided her inside. Lapis followed, still in shock.

“Do you think you need to go in to the hospital?” Peridot did not want to escalate the situation, making it worse. But she could not know what Lapis was thinking at the moment.

Shaking her head, “I just need sleep,” the blue haired girl said.

The blonde did not want to make her girlfriend do anything she did not think was necessary. “Would you be willing to spend the night at my place?”

Unbelievably, Lapis forced a smile. She was strong. “I wanted to ask you that.”

There was only stillness in the air as Peridot drove home. As much as she ached to, she did not speed back. It would only make Lapis more stressed than she already was. Fortunately they lived only ten minutes away.

Parking her car next to the cub in front of her house, Peridot led her girlfriend in through the door, and straight to her room. The blue haired girl sat at the edge of her bed, too tired to do anything else. Peridot fished around her filing cabinet dresser for an oversized t-shirt and shorts, she had borrowed from her girlfriend.

“I meant to give these back to you anyway,” Peridot chuckled, a poor attempt at lightening up the mood. “Give me a second, I’ll be right back.”

Allowing the other girl some peace to change out of her clothes, the blonde went into the kitchen to make a cup of herbal tea and heat up the hot water bottle. When she walked back in her room, Lapis was already snuggled up under the sheets.

“Here,” she offered, but Lapis looked so cozy. “If you want to have it later that’s fine too.”

“Why are you so good to me?” It was the saddest, sincere question Peridot had ever heard.

“I ask myself the same about you, all the time.”

Changing fast into her own night clothes, Peridot crawled into bed next to Lapis. For the rest of the early morning until the afternoon they slept, and Peridot never let go of Lapis’ hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis is a cinnamon roll and must be protected at all costs. Next chapter will be a little happier.


	24. Pillow Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What a way to waste the morning away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I wouldn't write smut, but I guess I lied. If you prefer not to read smut, I uploaded the next chapter as well. Chapter 26 will discuss more what happened here (not explicitly).

Peridot was typing away on her laptop as Lapis soundly slept next to her in bed. Curled up in a fetal position, she was as close to the blonde as she could be unaware. It said it was noon, according to her digital alarm clock, blinking as if to remind her they slept the entire morning away. She was the first one to wake up, eyes heavy from last night’s occurrences. Her first impulse was to look and make sure Lapis was safe. What a relief it was to have immediate assurance that Lapis did not leave during the early morning.

A large array of tabs were opened up in her internet browser. Now that exams ended yesterday and they were on break, they had no obligations besides work. Though Peridot did not consider herself the spontaneous one of the two, she thought of something brilliant. It was in fact vacation, so why not treat it as such?

They were both overworked, deprived of rest most of the time, and life was beginning to get pretty overwhelming. What a better idea would it be, to take a trip somewhere? Both of them deserved it, Lapis most of all.

Absentmindedly, Peridot ran her hand through Lapis’ hair, sweeping away the blue bangs from her face.

The idea of leaving everything behind them sounded so wonderful, like a dream. The blonde had become so absorbed in their own Beach City life, she forgot what it was like to experience the rest of the world.

For a while now, she wanted to road trip up the west coast, but continuously gave herself excuses as to why she could not. She really needed to do less “thinking” about things, and more “doing.”

A soft yawn emitted from her side. “Peridot?” Lapis said groggily.

“Good morning, sunshine.” It was what Lapis said to her, whenever she woke up at her girlfriend’s house. This time, for the first time, she could say it back.

“Geez. What are you doing working at this hour?”

“This hour? You mean afternoon,” the blonde corrected her.

Lapis glanced at the clock, gave a long groan, and covered her face with the sheets. “No… I’ve slept half the day away. You should’ve woke me when you got up.”

“There’s no way I could’ve done that without you throwing a pillow at my face,” Peridot said, eyes still on her computer screen and failing to anticipate being whacked on the head anyhow.

“Hey!” Peridot rubbed her eyes. She grabbed onto the pillow before Lapis attempted a second time.

“What can I say? You gave me the idea, and since there was a perfect opening I couldn’t resist.”

“A very unwise decision.” Peridot jumped on top of Lapis, making a pillow sandwich to trap her girlfriend and causing her to squeal.

“What are you going to do,” the blue haired girl laughed, provoking her. “Teach me a lesson or something?”

“Something along those lines.”

If eyes could quiver with excitement, Lapis’ sure were. Her violet blues grew in shock. She probably did not expect the blonde to say something like that, and Peridot did not expect it coming from her own mouth either. But the whole morning they were asleep, she dreamt about making out with Lapis. She woke up feeling strange and embarrassed, but at the same time very aroused.

Usually Peridot thought of Lapis being the one to initiate physical contact, where she herself did seldom. But with the added feeling of freedom with no obligations, she was curious about her girlfriend’s reaction if she suddenly turned the tables.

“Peridot?”

She loved it when Lapis said her name.

“Yeah?”

“What are you planning to do?” She whispered.

Her pale pink lips planted on Lapis’ mouth quickly answered the question.

Peridot kept the pillow between them as a barrier to keep Lapis from squirming around. Wrapping both arms around her girlfriends head, supporting her neck, she deepened the kiss. The tan girl welcomed her in, and more. She pushed her tongue into Peridot’s mouth, caressing her own inside. The blonde followed the movement, eagerly. No, she should not be the one to follow Lapis’ lead. This was her time to shine, to show her girlfriend how much she secretly loved every time Lapis went in to kiss her.

Pulling back suddenly, Peridot sat up straddling Lapis, holding down each end of the pillow on top of her stomach.

“Is that it?” Lapis asked, dissatisfied.

“Nope. It’s not over for you.” Peridot’s green eyes trailed down to her neck, fully exposed. Her skin was pristine, without any blemish. But it would not be like that forever. She would also get payback from the time they went laser tagging.

Before Lapis could say anything, Peridot glided back down, probably the only time she would ever move so smoothly. She held her arms with her hands, and shuffled the pillow further down to where it landed between Lapis’ legs. To tease her of course. With willing lips, Peridot began planting kisses on Lapis’ bare neck. This caused the blue haired girl to whisper a quiet sound, which pleased her ears.

Both Lapis and Peridot remembered fully that the blonde lived with three other roommates, and sometimes Jasper. Not being too loud around when their roommates were home was an unsaid agreement between them.

Kisses turned to sucking, and sucking into a bit of biting. This whole time Peridot was bewildering her own self, and why in the world this came so natural to her. 

“Ugh,” Lapis said in pleasure, with, “if you leave a mark, you better believe you’re in trouble.”

“I told you,” Peridot broke apart slightly, “this is what you get for viciously attacking me with my own things.”

“You mean the thing that’s now in between my legs?”

She was so caught up in the moment focused on kissing, she almost failed to realize her girlfriend was making small grinding movements.

Lapis added, “If you keep doing that, I might not be able to stop.” With her kneecap, she kicked underneath Peridot as hard as she could being trapped, sending her into a gasp of shock.

Peridot knew exactly what Lapis was talking about. They had talked about it before, when they spent the night watching Camp Pining Hearts. She said she was not ready, out of being scared in the last second. Lapis, who was too good and sweet to her, immediately retracted, accepting Peridot’s nervousness. But did she want to. When they were together, she would occasionally daydream about it, and beat herself up internally for thinking like that. Her thoughts were becoming too much to handle, along with the rest of her life following closely behind.

Lapis, beautiful, sweet, and dorky Lapis gave her confidence. She trusted her enough to not leave just as suddenly as she barged into her life. She was completely different from those in the past who hurt her like that. And just as much as she trusted her girlfriend, she now knew Lapis trusted her.

There was no doubt in her mind. She wanted Lapis, no hesitation.

“… I know.” Peridot said in response.

“And you’re alright with that?” Lapis said, breathily, making sure to confirm what was about to go on between them.

Moving the blonde strands of hair out of her own face, Peridot brushed her hair back with her fingers. Little did she know how much Lapis loved it when she did that. “Yes.”

Peridot never saw Lapis blush as red as she did.

Again taking initiative, the blonde moved her hands to trace the top of the waistband to her shorts. Lapis let her move to her hip bones, making small circle movements with both thumbs. And slowly, Peridot succeeded pushing up and over her head Lapis’ oversized t-shirt. She wore no bra underneath.

Pitifully, Peridot could do nothing but stare. It was the first time she laid eyes on her girlfriend’s perfectly symmetrical breasts. Lapis helped her out of it, pulling down her body onto her chest.

“Hopefully they’re not _that_ hideous to look at,” Lapis whispered in her ear, before softly chewing on it.

“Quite the contrary, actually,” she stammered as Lapis took the chance to kick away the pillow, and grind her knee between Peridot’s legs full force. “Ack, they’re pretty great!” Lapis pushed out of her.

“Either way, I really enjoy it when you look at me like that,” she said seductively.

“You’ve-,” she inhaled in as Lapis rose, “noticed?”

“From time to time,” she continued with a heated, heavy kiss. Fully aware now, she could feel her girlfriend’s hands gripping her shirt, attempting to pull it off. Peridot let her.

She completely forgot she wore her bra to bed, too tired that night to remember to take it off.

“Tsk tsk, having this thing on won’t do,” Lapis trailed her finger on the rim of the bra, which cupped her small breasts. “Let me take it off for you.” It was not a suggestion, rather, a statement. Her soft arms wrapped around her body, and in a snap, Lapis unclasped the bra like a pro. The article of clothing fell from Peridot’s chest, which the blue haired girl picked and tossed off the bed.

Her girlfriend was becoming a little too comfortable, after all this all started because Peridot needed payback, right?

Needing to surprise Lapis further, she moved her small hand down her tan stomach, and lazily entering inside her shorts. Her reaction was exactly how the blonde hoped it would be.

Moving her arm up and down in a rhythmic motion, Lapis closed her eyes parting her lips while following along. Peridot could feel the warm breath on the arch of her neck, and soaked in the sweet scent of tropical flowers. They were working in identical syncopation now.

They were doing it. It was really happening to her. To the both of them. The whole moment was surreal.

“Peri, please,” Lapis managed to say out loud.

“Please… what?” Peridot still kept moving.

“I-I need more…” But helping herself, Lapis took Peridot’s hand already there, pushing it far deeper inside her.

The pale girl played along, doing just what Lapis begged for. She did not know if any of this felt good to her girlfriend, or if she was doing anything correctly. A purr coming from her girlfriend made Peridot worry a little less.

“Keep doing that. You better not stop.”

“That would not make sense… in this particular situation.”

“Good. Oh my stars,” Lapis gasped, jerking automatically. “Please don’t sto-“

Peridot went in to trace circles with her tongue around her lovely shaped breasts.  Looking up occasionally to read Lapis’ face.

“I’m about to…”

It seemed as if she was.

Without withdrawing her restless hand, her kisses moved back up to Lapis’ cheekbones.

“I’m…”

Peridot closed her green eyes, removing her lips.

As the smaller girl held her down, Lapis arched her back as far as possible, giving a final desperate sob.

“Mal…a…”

Her emerald green eyes grew into giant circles, and Lapis underneath her shot a hand to cover her own mouth. They both stopped.

 _What_ was she doing?

Removing her hand, Peridot propped up a bit, so Lapis would no longer be trapped underneath her.

How could she do this? She was selfish really for wanting this so abruptly, especially after last night’s situation. It was the most selfish thing she could have done to Lapis. She should have waited; waited and recognized the place her girlfriend was in, like how Lapis accepted her. But Lapis was caring and loving. And, despite desperately wanting to be, she was not as good of a person as her. It was now proven. The thought continued to repeat in her head. _How could she do this_ to her girlfriend?

What had she done?

“Peridot?” Tears filled Lapis’ eyes, both hands now covering her mouth. “Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

But the girl on top of her dropped, holding Lapis in her arms as closely as she could. Why would Lapis even think of apologizing? Despising herself, Peridot knew the reason. Lapis was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I put my fictional characters through this.


	25. On the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank goodness for vacation.

Peridot hauled Lapis’ duffle bag and backpack with her own, and gently tossed them in her trunk. The road trip was _actually_ happening, and they were both eager to get away for a few days.

After the night Peridot ran into Malachite, Lapis admitted that for her own good, it would be best to quit work and find a new job. Working close to the same pace as her sister would not help her heal.

“What am I going to do without being constantly surrounded by drunk people trying to hit on me?” Lapis joked.

When Lapis went into work, she clocked in, believed she would give her two weeks’ notice that shift. It would allow her time to make a little extra while job searching, and say goodbye to her coworkers. But that’s not how things went down.

Mid shift, there was a man sitting at the bar while she was mixing drinks, staring at her. When he decided to open his mouth, the drunk man unashamedly continued flirting with her. Being polite and respectful to customers was always Lapis’ end goal. But when the man sloppily reached out for her shirt to grope her breasts, Lapis gave into a one-time exception. Taking the electric blue long island already in her hand, she instead splashed it all over the creep’s white, designer shirt, permanently staining the fabric. Yelling and swearing profusely, the manager on shift came up to him to apologize. But ultimately he was guided out of the club in order to calm down. Later that night, the same manager pulled Lapis aside to talk, which she explained exactly what happened in detail. But instead of seeing it in an understanding light, he decided to write her up.

No way. She was a bartender, not some stripper, and she would not let anyone treat her like that. Not at work. Right then and there, she told her manager exactly what she thought, quit her job on the spot, and walked out with no regrets. When arriving to pick Lapis up after she called early, Peridot was ecstatic.

Closing the trunk of the car, she put both hands to her hips. “Well that’s it. Are you ready Miss Lazuli?”

“You have no idea,” Lapis said dramatically. She carried a whole bag of food and drinks, only to serve as snacks during the drive.

The front hood of the car slammed shut, “You’re oil’s fine, but it would be a good idea to get it changed after coming back,” Pearl walked around, wiping her hands off with a sanitizer.

“Oh thanks Pearl, I was going to do that myself,” Peridot said appreciatively.

“Here,” Lapis handed Peridot the bag to put in the back seat. “I’m going to get Blue and lock up the house, since my other weirdo housemates don’t get back until late.”

Once Lapis ran into the house, Peridot turned to Pearl. “You know, I’m glad you can come along.”

The pink haired girl sighed. “I suppose we all need the vacation.”

The day before, Peridot told Garnet her plans to go up the coast with Lapis, rambling about all the places they were about to see together.

Garnet chuckled, pointing out, “You sure are very into her.”

“What? Of course I am,” she admittedly said, folding her arms. “And this is the first time we will be traveling together.”

“Well I’m sure you both will have a great time. Is it only you two?”

The thought of inviting anyone else had not crossed Peridot’s mind, until now. “Oh, yes I guess it is only us.” She rubbed the back of her head.

From the living room, Garnet looked down the hallway to the room she and Pearl shared. “By the way, I’ve meant to tell you Pearl is beginning to open up a little more. You should try talking to her, at least before leaving.”

It had been two weeks since Amethyst and Pearl got into that fight, and Peridot never had a chance to talk to her since. She was about to the day after, but before knocking on her closed door, she could hear the thin girl crying. That was as far as she got, deciding they would reconcile when her housemate was ready.

“I suppose that wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Peridot said thoughtfully. “I’ll check in with her, after I wrap up my work.” Similar to Lapis, the blonde managed to get some time off, telling her remote client she would be away for a few days.

What would she say? Would Pearl forgive her? She did not try to hurt her friend, would Pearl understand that?

After shutting her laptop and putting it on her twin bed, she walked over to her housemate’s room down the hallway. It felt as if she was replaying the events from before. Peridot was going to knock again, but she realized the door was already slightly ajar. Pushing it open, she tapped it with her knuckles to signify she was entering.

“Pearl, are you here?”

Peridot walked in to see she was. Laying on her bed, Pearl was engrossed in reading her school textbook, propping it up with both knees. She bookmarked the page and set it down to the side.

“Hello, Peridot,” she looked up at nothing in particular.

“I, um,” Peridot stumbled. What should she say? “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing okay,” the pink haired girl sat up at the edge of her bed. “Is there something you want?” She said earnestly, not grumpily.

“I guess I wanted to talk to you, about what happened two weeks ago.”

“What about it?”

Nervously, Peridot continued. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was torn when both of my friends were confiding in me, and didn’t want to break any trust. But I still did; hurt you, I mean.”

“It was never your fault,” Pearl sighed sadly. “Once you left the house that night, I regretted treating you the way I did. You shouldn’t be apologizing for that.”

“Still, if it means anything, I want to. I hope we can continue where we left off.”

Pearl lifted up her head, giving Peridot a soft gaze. “Of course we can.”

The blonde did not know where this idea came from, but she needed to make sure they would be on good terms. “Lapis and I are taking a trip up the coast. What are you doing for the rest of break?”

“I’m not really sure, likely just studying to prepare for the next semester. Maybe I’ll go home for a few days as well.”

“There’s um, room in my car still, if you would like to come with us.” This was her and Lapis’ vacation. Should they be bringing other people in the first place?

But the suggestion was already out there. Pearl gave a soft smile in return. “Would Lapis mind?”

 _Would she mind?_ Peridot would need to ask her girlfriend, but she was sure Lapis would not be too bothered by it. It was only Pearl after all. “I’ll let her know,” the blonde laughed it off. “I’m sure she’s fine.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning around seven,” and added, “is that too soon for you?”

Pearl shook her head. “Actually, no. That works with me. After all, I don’t have too much going on as it is.”

“Great,” Peridot started moving towards the door. Was this a good idea?

“Thank you, Peridot,” the taller girl stood up, and went over to hug her before she left the room. A long while had passed since they last hugged. This meant a lot to Pearl, Peridot deducted. Lapis should understand.

And her girlfriend did. In fact, she seemed thrilled.

“You know what this means,” she said with a look Peridot could only interpret as planning something.

“No, actually, I don’t.”

“We have to invite Blue along as well!” She said excitedly. “Oh it’s perfect! They can get to know each other this way, and Pearl won’t have to be third wheeling the whole time.”

Peridot scoffed, “They aren’t dating.”

“Yet,” Lapis lifted a finger. “But we shouldn’t play matchmaker. We have to let this fall into place naturally,” she covered her mouth. “It’s the perfect plan.”

“Yeah okay, hold still for a second.” Peridot was helping Lapis fix her roots that were beginning to show, and continued to massage the blue dye through her hair.

“Why do you color your hair like this?” She was curious and had never asked before.

“Because the ladies love it. Especially you.”

Pretending to grumble, Peridot muttered, “True.”

Starting the engine once everyone was in the car, Peridot drove down the street and turned out. It was a half an hour drive to get to the golden coast highway, with thick traffic in between.

“There was an accident,” Lapis pointed out, turning her head to look at the two girls in the back, showing them the maps app. “We won’t be in this for too long.”

What a way to start off their vacation, with the typical Beach City freeway experience. But Lapis was right, they were not in the middle of it for much longer, and they looked out the window to see a horrible accident. Two cars were flipped over, black smoke emitting from the inside, and a semi-truck crashed against the barrier wall.

“Geez, that’s probably the worst car accident I’ve ever seen.” Lapis said.

Peridot prayed it was not foretelling at all.   

The drive became much happier once they reached the coast. White fluffy clouds dappled the blue sky, and the ocean twinkled, reflecting the sunlight.

“This is so pretty!” Blue Pearl squealed as she rolled down the window, and pulled out her expensive camera to take pictures. Photography was a hobby of Lapis’ roommate.

“It is,” Pearl said in agreement.

“It’s about a seven hour drive to the pink chalk cliffs,” Peridot noted, glancing at her phone.

“I’ve always wanted to see them,” Pearl pulled out her vape pen, and let out a wavy waft. Though Peridot did not allow people to smoke, she let the pink haired girl do her thing. She was the only one of her friends who was into it anyway.

Slightly startled at the vapor, Peridot realized Blue was not aware of her roommate’s habit, until now. She probably did not mind. Blue was usually laid back with a lot.

“Maybe they’ll match your hair,” Peridot threw out, and she could see Pearl’s reaction in the mirror.

“It will make for some interesting pictures,” Blue snapped a candid of the driver and Lapis sitting in the front.

Pearl coughed before laughing, “I hadn’t even thought of that!”

Blue took a quick photo of Pearl as she laughed. “Well we have to get two of nature’s natural wonders in the same photo.”

This made both Lapis and Peridot break out into laughter. The blonde didn’t know Blue could say something so witty. It was moments like this that made Peridot deeply appreciate her friends.

“I think it’s time for the music to start!” Lapis unplugged Peridot’s phone from the charger, and started her carefully created playlist. Going sixty miles an hour, the four girls rolled down their windows to feel the ocean breeze, as the music played in the wind.

They were closing in and about to pass a semi-truck. With one hand on the wheel, Peridot made a pulling down movement with her arm three times, glancing over at the other vehicle. The truck driver blared on the horn to amuse the girls, and they sped on ahead.

“I’ve never done that before!” Lapis laughed, impressed at her girlfriend.

“Really, you? Never?” That kind of humor was right up Lapis’ alley.

“I have to try it with the next one,” she turned to Pearl and Blue, who were in the middle of devouring a whole bag of potato chips.

“Wait, I need some too!” The blue haired girl unfastened her seat belt, and lunged an arm for the bag. “You can’t just inhale that whole bag of sea salt chaaaps, not without me.” She climbed over the seat, and sat down in the back middle seat.

“You’re going to leave me up here, like that?”

“My heart is where the food is. I can hand feed you from back here with the girl pearls,” the tan girl stretched out both arms behind their heads.

“I see where this is going. Are you cheating on me with a bag of chips?” Lapis interrupted Peridot, stuffing a large chip to her mouth as she drove.

“You’re slightly better than chaaaps,” she replied.

“Wow, thanks.”

In the background, Pearl was reaching down to pick up the chips that had fallen all over the ground. Blue kept munching away as she watched the two girlfriends chatter.

“Say Pearl,” Blue started. “What’s your major?

“Astrophysics. I promise, it’s not as dull as it sounds.”

“That doesn’t sound boring at all! I thought we may have the same lecture class together.”

Pearl thought for a moment, “Which one?”

“The class Dr. Sanders teaches?”

“Oh, yes, that rings a bell. You sit more towards the back, don’t you?”

“Y-yeah!” Blue was plainly elated that Pearl, her crush, had noticed her in such a large classroom. “It’s easier to get away with doing other work.”

“Or sleep.” Pearl sighed. “I used to do that.”

“You don’t seem like the snoozing in class type. You always sit up front.” Blue gave away the fact that she noticed Pearl’s lecture hall habits.

“You’d be surprised. On days where I feel more rebellious, I sit in the third or fourth row.”

Lapis leaned up and whispered in Peridot’s ear, before feeding her another chip. “Nerd.”

But Pearl definitely heard. “I am definitely not, though I’ll admit some of the textbooks I’m required to read might be.”

And Peridot knew as a fact, her housemate enjoyed reading those.

Between the time they left the temple to the hour they reached the cliffs, the four girls talked away about nothing particularly important. Even without Garnet, Amethyst, or Jasper, they created a very positive dynamic. Peridot was relieved. Prior to the trip, she did not know what mood any of them would be in, besides Blue of course.

 _This is how it should be,_ Peridot thought to herself. Just hanging out with no worries.

The pink chalk cliffs were much better in real life as they were in photographs. Blue Pearl began taking pictures the second after she jumped out of the car. Lapis brought the bag of food with her as Pearl grabbed the towels from the trunk. It was a bit cold to be swimming at this time of year, but it was still warm enough where they could lay out in the sand. Peridot locked her car in the parking lot, and followed the rest of her friends down the stairs along the bluff. Standing six hundred feet high, from what Peridot read online, and stripes of pink layered the cliffs in different hues.

“I’m sure we can find the right color that matches Pearl’s hair,” Blue said. “Come over here closer to the wall.”

“Are you still going to continue with that?” Pearl walked over obediently, forgetting it was Peridot who brought up that idea in the first place.

“I was being serious back there in the car.”

Smiling at everyone having a good time, Peridot strolled over to the water, seafoam rising and falling on the light colored sand. The salty air did wonders to clear her lungs. Hopefully it would do the same thing to her head.

The blonde felt a familiar figure wrap their arms around her torso from behind.

“Guess what I found by the tide pools,” she let go and revealed an ornate object in both hands.

“It’s a shell.”

“But just look at the definition, the beauty, its aesthetic form,” the blue haired girl pointed out the swirls which patterned the surface.

Taking the shell to inspect it closer, Peridot squinted as she brought it closer to her eyes. But, _it moved?_

It squirt salt water in her face, and the shorter girl yelped. It was the home of a miniature hermit crab.

Lapis was laughing at her, clearly this was her plan all along. “Isn’t it cute? I named it Peridot Jr.”

“Because of its size?” She still held on to the tip of the shell, not dropping the tiny terror.

“No, because it’s clearly your spirit animal. See, you two already have a bond. It was drawn to you from the beginning.”

“Not funny.” Peridot actually thought it was pretty hilarious.

“Let’s take Junior and introduce her to them,” they both looked over at the same time, to see Pearl and Blue taking pictures of each other.

“On second thought,” Lapis continued, “let’s wait. They look like they’re hitting it off.”

“It looks like your plan is succeeding.”

“My plan? Don’t discredit yourself, you mean our plan. You came up with the idea of inviting Pearl along.”

“But it was your idea to invite Blue in order to bring them together,” Peridot brought back around.

“Point proven,” Lapis said, dunking her bare feet in the water.

Eh. She was right.

They stayed at the beach for the remainder of the day, waiting for the sunset. That’s when the pink cliffs would start turning other colors. And in the end, it was in no doubt worth it.

Realizing it was getting dark fast, they hurried up the fleet of stairs to the car. Peridot especially felt drained from driving all day, and they still needed to figure out a place to stay for the night. Going into the small town, they reserved a two bed room at an affordable motel. It even had a pool and hot tub, which to Lapis sounded divine.

Peridot was pretty sure this trip would be one of her most memorable times in college.


	26. Lake Obsidian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Pink Chalk Cliffs, Peridot, Lapis, Pearl, and Blue head on over to Lake Obsidian National Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting patiently for me to update! Starting a new job and freelancing all the time keeps one busy.

“Whelp, we’re almost out of gas. Lapis, what’s the scoop?”

“The GPS says we are only five miles away from the next gas station.”

“Thank the stars.”

“After that long highway, we really need to walk around and stretch,” Pearl commented.

“How much longer until we reach Obsidian Lake?” Blue added along.

Checking the phone screen, Lapis replied only an hour more, and we’re there.”

Obsidian Lake was a national park made up of one giant, and several smaller lakes, in the northern part of the Golden State. Known for its hot springs, the lakes were jet blue in hue due to a natural, rare mineral. This substance was used in all kinds of beauty products, medicine, and even some meals.

When she was very young, Peridot visited Obsidian Lake with her mother. She barely remembered any details of the trip. The sole thing that stuck with her since she was a toddler, was a log on the shore where she found a caterpillar chrysalis in the middle of emerging into a butterfly. It was a silly memory, and she wondered why it was the only thing that stuck with her.

“Oh finally!” Lapis said happily as the car parked next to the gas pump. Just in time too, they were driving on their last gallon for ten minutes or so. Her girlfriend was the first to get out, and she stretched with both arms over her head. “This feels good.”

Pearl and Blue came out from the back of the car. “Since we’re almost to the park and stores will certainly be more expensive, we should buy food and drinks here for the hotel tonight.”

“At this sketchy place in the middle of nowhere?” Peridot looked over to the gas station store. It was definitely not fancy in anyway.

“It’s not _that_ bad, just a little run down is all,” Lapis tried reassuring her, giving Peridot a pat on the back.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if this place also had a secret basement to hide bodies.”

“That’s so morbid,” Pearl commented. “The chances of that actually being the case are slim to none.”

“Not to mention that only happens in horror movies anyway,” Blue backed Pearl up.

“ _Fine,_ fine,” Peridot raised her hands. “We’ll just get our stuff and leave,” she locked the car, clicking the button on her key.

The inside felt crowded and cramped. Behind the counter, a middle aged man sat next to the wall of tobacco, reading a newspaper. Who even read those still anyway? He wore a murky green coat with a brown sweater, and had long unkempt hair. He certainly looked like he was a drug addict, but that was only a strong assumption.

In a matter of minutes, the three other girls had their hands full with snacks. “Might as well, since we’re here,” Pearl laughed, carrying two cases of beer.

“Can’t forget about these,” Lapis came down the aisle with three large bags of chaaaps. “Trust me, we’ll go through all of this fast.”

Peridot looked down at the simple banana she held in her hand.

Blue was up at the counter paying for a diet soda and sunflower seeds. The only time Peridot saw people eat sunflower seeds were at baseball games. The man working seemed very unenthused, and downright depressed to be there. Something about him seemed off.

“Yeah alright, we have what we need so we should pay and leave…” Something incredibly soft rubbed up Peridot’s arm and she leaped into the air.

Lapis was laughing, holding some sort of skin.

“What’s that?” Peridot crossed her arms and pointed suspiciously.

“It’s rabbit fur,” the blue haired girl caressed it gently with her hand, enjoying the texture.

“What is this, the boonies?” Well, they were _kind of_ in the middle of nowhere.

“I found it back there, next to the camo hats and rifles.”

“Rifles?!”

“They aren’t real guns, they’re only toys,” she set it back down, before they reached the counter. The man there, Peridot noticed, had his eyes on Lapis. The way he was looking at her girlfriend really creeped her out.

“Why don’t you guys go back to the car, I’ve got all of this.”

“Really?” Blue exclaimed.

“That’s awfully sweet of you,” Pearl pointed out.

In reality, Peridot wanted the creep to stop checking her girlfriend out, and needed an excuse to make them leave the store. She dug for her wallet as they walked back outside, and pulled her other debit card out. She only used this one when she was traveling.

As soon as the door swung back and closed, the cashier remarked to the blonde as he bagged the items, “How old is she?’

“What?”

“The pretty blue haired girl with you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You know, do you think she would be down some time?” He raised an eyebrow and gave a wink.

Peridot could not believe what she was hearing from this asshole’s mouth. Never before had she run into any person like him.

“No.” She accepted the total purchase payment

“Really, you’d think girls your age would get around a lot.”

“Sorry she’s _not for sale_ ,” she said snarky, and did something completely on impulse. She grabbed the bag of Blue’s seeds, opened it, and flung the contents over his face before walking out. Moving fast to the car, she dumped the items on top of Pearl and Blue in the back, and slammed the door fast as she got in. Whipping out her keys, Peridot started the engine, and hit the gas pedal. The last thing she wanted was for the man to run after them.

With hands firmly grasping the wheel and a scrunched, furious face, Peridot could see in the corner of her eye the others staring.

“Is… everything okay?” Lapis asked hesitantly.

“No!”

Her girlfriend jolted back at the exclamation. “What happened?”

“That guy in there was a cloddy creep. I’ll spare you the details, except for I told you so!”

The topic was not brought up again during the car ride, until Blue asked while rummaging the bags, “Wait, where are my seeds?”

When they reached their destination, Peridot breathed in relief. They were finally there, at Obsidian Lake Lodge, where they would stay the next day and a half. The building was in traditional cabin style, and tall pines stood tall around them. The pungent scent of the trees and decaying needles and leaves on the ground was incredibly strong. She could feel them shuffle and crunch beneath her feet, which felt pretty satisfying.

Besides the snacks, the four girls carried all their bags into the large lobby. On the tall walls hung oil paintings depicting the park, western antiques, and various antlers sporadically placed. From the ceiling, a large chandelier hung down above the expensive looking carpet.

Lapis was already over getting one of those cart things to wheel their bags around. Pearl and Blue dropped their luggage, though it wasn’t much, to offload their shoulders.

“Look at this,” Pearl opened a flyer, showing the other two girls. “I found a map to the entire park. This way, we will be able to plan our time here accordingly, and visit the things worth seeing.”

Peridot went up to the counter by herself, where two hotel receptionists stood in matching suits.

“Um hi,” the small girl began. The height of the counter made her feel even shorter. “I called in a few days ago to reserve a room.”

The employee quickly typed into her computer. “What’s the last name?”

“Diamond.”

“Looks like you booked a two double bed, single room for two days. May I see your ID?”

Peridot fished for her identification and handed it over. The employee only glanced at it before handing it back. “Perfect, thank you. The room along next to the western lake will come to $350.”

She handed over her travel debit card, already in her hand. From what she already had saved up plus the income she was making, the amount was a drop in the bucket. But none of her friends necessarily needed to know that.

“What are you doing?” Lapis exclaimed behind her, the second after she gave her card.

“I, um, am paying for the room?”

“We were going to split the cost four ways. Wasn’t that the plan?”

“When do we ever have a plan?”

“Only when Pearl’s around,” Lapis tilted her head slightly towards the pink haired girl, coming over to them with Blue.

“What now about me?”

The smaller girl grumbled signing her name on the receipt, “Really, it’s no big deal. I made the reservations ahead of time, and planned on paying this whole time. I want to.”

“Here are your two keys, you are room 190. To get there you go down the hall and out the door. Two buildings over, you will come to Cedar where your lakeside room will be. If you need anything, our desk is open twenty four hours a day. We hope you enjoy your stay,” the receptionist said enthusiastically, interrupting their conversation. Peridot wondered if they enjoyed their jobs, as she thanked the employee who helped her.

“At least let us chip in a little bit,” Blue put in, as they walked down the long, straight hallway.

“We’ll pool our money in after totaling up the trip’s expenses,” Pearl added.

But Peridot shook her head. “If you want to chip in a little for gas, I wouldn’t be entirely opposed. But I planned from the start to pay for the hotel. So really, don’t worry about it.”

“We’ll see about that,” replied Lapis, holding the door for everyone.

“You better not, this is my treat.” Peridot wanted to make sure this vacation would be fun for everybody, especially her girlfriend. She never led on that she was stressed out, at least on the outside. But she knew that Lapis, like herself, could be protective of her feelings. Well, maybe a little less so than herself. And the subtle gestures Lapis made gave it away as well as the look in her eyes. They weren’t obvious details, but she was able to recognize them.  

When they unpacked and got situated in their spacious hotel room, Peridot checked the alarm clock on the nightstand. It said it was five in the evening.

“That’s not much time to go over to the main lake or do a hike,” Blue said.

“But we can still walk around the smaller, western lake,” Pearl remarked. “The sun doesn’t go down for about another hour and a half.”

“You in Peridot?” Lapis asked.

“Isn’t that why we’re here?” The blonde smiled.

Even though it was not the main Lake Obsidian, the western lake was still very beautiful. The water stood still and silent, with tiny waves rippling against the shore. While the sky was still light, it reflected poorly off the water, as if it was being absorbed instead. The sand was mixed with iron and the same mineral in the lake, giving it a desaturated burgundy color. The landscape looked alien, the only thing grounding Peridot’s imagination being the pine trees.

There was no sight like this over back east. Sure there was a giant mountain range and a few other interesting sights, but nothing comparable to the fascinating places over west.

Blue set her DSLR camera on top of a ledge facing the lake, and moved a few feet away. “Quick guys, get in.”

The timed camera released the shutter and took several pictures of them. Peridot could not recall the last time she was in a group photo like this. On her social media accounts, whenever she seldom logged in, most of her photos consisted of self-taken or professional profile pictures. And she only changed those when her physical appearance changed. Social media was only a distraction from more productive activities she could be partaking in. But Peridot knew Blue would likely upload her photos to Lumigram and tag her. Lapis’ roommate had a very popular account, and was followed by thousands. The complete opposite of her. 

“That one turned out nice,” Lapis referred to the camera screen, as it was set in preview. “The lighting is really good in these.”

“It’s the contrast that’s causing it.”

“You have quite the talent,” Pearl complimented Blue, which caused a large smile to grow on her face. “Are you sure you’re in the right major?” She joked.

“I do love photography and have taken a few classes. But I think psychology is what I really enjoy studying in school. It’s how I met Lapis after all,” she put the camera up to her face. “Stay right there Pearl, the lighting’s perfect!”

Peridot watched them as they began a new photoshoot, how Blue was so enthralled and Pearl cheerfully went with it. Was her roommate actually into her? Just a week or so ago, she saw Pearl with that other pink haired girl, who coincidentally looked too much like Rose Quartz. Peridot would not have thought much about it, if it was not for the body language they gave each other. Pearl did seem interested enough in Blue and did return the flirting. But how genuine was it?

Always looking out for the blonde, Pearl was the type to put others before herself. Peridot remembered when Pearl patiently held Peridot’s hair back as she hurled in the toilet. That was the first and worst experience she had being drunk, and the same night she met Lapis. Or like the time she was sick with the flu, and Pearl would periodically check in with her, bringing her tea and whatever she needed. That’s why it was so strange for her to see Pearl so sad, after the night of the argument. It was not in her character.

But she was beginning to act like normal again as time passed, and had a chance to escape. It’s not like Pearl was running away from her issues or anything.

After exploring areas of the park near the lodge, her housemate yawned. “I’m pretty tired after that long drive, I think I’m going to go back to the room and relax,” Pearl stretched.

“I’ll come with you too,” Blue added quickly. “I’m feeling a little sore myself from sitting in that car all day,” it was pretty easy to tell she was fake stretching.

Tossing a hotel card key over to Blue, Peridot said, “Lapis and I are going to walk around, just for a bit. We won’t be too long.”

Peridot did not have telepathy, but she was sure Lapis was thinking or wanting the same thing as her.

Once their roommates were out of sight, Lapis took Peridot’s hand. “Come with me!” The blue haired girl took off, pulling the shorter girl with her.

“What’s going on, where are we going?”

Lapis did not answer her. Maybe she did not know either.

The sun was starting to set as they ran down the lake’s beach, treading the sand. When they grew tired, Lapis fell backwards on the ground, bringing Peridot down to land on top of her. The rich sand felt warm on their legs, despite the current season. This moment brought her back to their first date in the middle of summer. Lapis had that same look in her eyes. 

It would not be a real vacation if they did not have some time alone, right?

“Hey, Peridot,” Lapis touched her chin. “Are you going to remove your knee from between my legs, or do you plan on leaving it there?”

She did not realize her falling into that position in the first place. “Um, I can if you want,” the blonde said nervously.

“Mm nah.” Centimeters away from her lips, Peridot could feel her warm breath as hands caressed her waist. If a dark shadow never moved into the corner of their eyes, the moment could have been perfect.

“Oh my stars. What is that?”

Lapis stayed still and motionless as the black mass crept closer.

It let out a bark, causing Peridot to jump off of Lapis and into a protective stance. She instantly gave a scream. “It’s alive!”

“It’s only a dog.” Clearly Lapis was thicker skinned than she, because she actually walked up to it. “It has no collar or ID,” she went on, checking around the animal’s neck. “ _How long have you been out here girl?”_ Lapis cooed.

“ _Only_ a dog?” Past all that fluffy fur, Peridot supposed a dog could be hidden under there somewhere. “How is there a dog in the middle of this huge national park by itself? What irresponsible owner could have left a dog out on its own?”

“An owner that abandoned it,” Lapis said pessimistically.

“That’s awful thing to do. How could any good person do that?”

“Maybe it never had an owner to begin with.”

Slowly, both Peridot and Lapis turned their heads to look at each other. They were very synergic today.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Peridot said, with a glint in her green eyes.

“Can we,” she paused to pick the dog up and check underneath its belly, “name _her_ Gunther?”

Peridot cracked up in laughter. “What kind of a name is _Gunther_?” As she prolonged both syllables of the name, she made air quotations with her hands.

“A very good one, and it totally suits her might I add.”

The thin dog was panting, but clearly enjoying all the exciting attention. She begged Lapis to be picked up again. Its coat was entirely black coat with eyes to match. Though severely matted and tattered, the dog had medium length hair. Its fur was not the type to be messed and tangled to begin with, rather straight and fluffy. The poor animal needed some serious grooming.

“Why not Obsidian, after the national park where we found her? It’s so appropriate.”

“That’s a little predictable,” her girlfriend commented, massaging the dog’s small, pointed ears.

“ _How_ is Obsidian predictable? She has black fur, we found her at an entirely black lake. Plus it sounds cool. How often do you find a stray dog in the middle of a national park?” the blonde sighed, and ran a hand through her hair to push it back. Now that she pointed out the dog’s features, it did sound rather unoriginal now. “I suppose it doesn’t matter, though it will take some time to grow on me.” Peridot gave in. So they were really going with this, adopting some random dog in the forest, and naming it some obscure, likely 90’s porn star name.

Peridot guessed the dog likely had a flea and slash or worm problem as well. If they were really going to keep this dog, they needed to find a vet out here. Or at least give it a bath and basic necessities. Perhaps she could figure out back at the lodge if there was anything related nearby.

“Now the issue is how to get her back to our room and into a bathtub.”

“Oh it shouldn’t be too hard,” Lapis dismissed. “See, she already likes us. I don’t think Gunther plans on going anywhere any time soon.” The dog, though not squirming around, was shaking from excitement and gazing lovingly at the both of them.

“Well, I don’t want to suddenly be attacked and contract rabies.”

“If she had rabies, her mouth would be foaming and she would be acting differently,” pointed Lapis.

“Good point. I can’t believe we’re actually doing this,” the shorter girl said, excitedly. “What are Pearl and Blue going to say? _My goodness you two,_ ” Peridot did a horrible imitation of Pearl’s warm voice. ” _Where on Earth did you find that adorable dog? Of course we can let it live with us.”_

“How are we going to share her? Should we go halves on whose house it stays at?”

“That makes the most sense in this case.”

“It would be easier if we just lived together,” stated Lapis calmly.

They both looked at each other again.

“If we did decide to, my lease is up after graduation,” Peridot said, not rejecting the notion. “My graduation that is. I’m not sure if the others plan on staying, though the chance is likely.”

“So, does that mean you’d like to, in the future?”

The largest grin appeared on Peridot’s face.

“Um… does that mean maybe?” An unmistakable blush appeared on Lapis’ olive cheeks.

Peridot squealed, “Yes! When the time comes around,” she tried gaining composure by distracting herself with petting Gunther. Whether she moved out with Lapis, or her girlfriend decided to move in with her, Peridot was completely okay either way. “We should head on back, before it becomes too dark.”

A minute ago, the sun had set past the horizon line, and was now dusk. Good thing they were next to the lake, preventing them from ever getting lost.

They both spent the walk back fawning over their new pet, while it fell asleep in Lapis’ arms.

Back in the hotel room, Pearl did not react exactly how Peridot thought she would.

“What in the world is that?!” Her sentence came out as one fast-spoken word.

Peridot turned on the light to the room, and both Blue and Pearl paused the video they were watching. “Ta-da! Introducing straight from Lake Obsidian, Gunther!” The blonde thrusted both arms in a presenting motion.

“We found her over there without an owner. We think she was abandoned,” Lapis clarified.

“She’s so cute!” Blue cried, jumping up from her and Pearl’s bed, and ran over to her roommate. “And so small! Poor baby. _I bet it was so scary out there by yourself,”_ she babied the dog. “But, why the name Gunther? It’s not very cute.”

“Are you questioning my ability to come up with genius names?” Lapis said dauntingly.

“Oh you came up with that name Lapis? Not I’m not questioning it at all, really! Gunther’s a great name!” Blue waved her hands, revoking the statement. 

“So it’s a dog,” said Pearl, like she was just convinced it was not a giant, ratted, fur ball instead.

“She is our dog,” Peridot said proudly, putting both hands on her hips.

“How are you going to take care of it when you both are in class?”

Both Peridot and Lapis had a look of realization. “Oh. We’ll figure out those details later,” Lapis brushed it off. “Now it’s time for Gunther to take a well-deserved bath.”

“Well, I guess I’m not exactly going to argue with you for keeping it,” Pearl smiled, “Although it’s your responsibility.”

“We know, we know,” Lapis was already walking over with Peridot to the bathroom, and grabbed all the towels.

“I’ll join you in a second, I’m just finishing up this movie with Pearl,” Blue slid back on their bed. Peridot peeked from the corner of her eye to see them laying relatively close to one another.

Once she and Lapis were in the suite bathroom, Lapis whispered, “Did you see them?”

“Blue and Pearl?”

“They seem to be getting along well,” only Peridot knew what that smile meant. They spread the hotel mat on the floor, and kneeled down at the tub’s edge.

“Do you think?”

“Well they seemed pretty cozy on that bed together. Blue’s got it so bad for her. I wonder if Pearl feels the same way.”

“It’s hard to tell with her,” the blonde stated.

“I’m not so sure, she seems pretty readable to me.”

“That’s because you’re a psych major. Aren’t you supposed to read the minds of others?”

“Darn it, you have me totally figured out,” the blue haired girl said sarcastically. The water in the tub was almost to the right level, and Gunther was shaking. This was the only dog Peridot encountered that was actually happy to be washed. 

“Then you should know what’s on my mind,” Peridot looked down, seriously.

“Huh? What’s that?”

Peridot quickly gave her a peck on the lips.

“Really Lazuli, you were supposed to guess. I’ve wanted to do that all day.”

“You dork,” Lapis kissed her back on the lips. “You know you can kiss me whenever, right?”

“I remember you mentioning that for hand holding and hugging,” the smaller girl counted with her fingers.

“Well I officially grant you full rights and permission,” With rolled up sleeves, Lapis scrubbed with the soap bar behind the dog’s ears methodically, careful to not get any of it in her eyes. “I’ve never had a pet or any animal to take care of before.”

“Same. My mom used to have an outdoor cat, but it disappeared one day. I saw it maybe five times in my life.”

“I guess this means we’re dog moms, and this is our first adopted child,” Lapis sighed.

Though she had never talked to Lapis about kids before, she always liked the concept of adoption. She was not able to read if her girlfriend would ever want kids, but she had a hunch Lapis would not be opposed. However that conversation was even deeper than the notion of moving in together, and that was a ways off. Whether they did decide to have kids far in the future, Peridot did not care too much.

Once Gunther was clean, Lapis thoroughly inspected her coat for ticks and fleas. As predicted, she found a few near the dog’s neck. “Maybe we can wash or drown them out!” Peridot suggested.

“I’m not quite sure if that’s how it works. Surprisingly she doesn’t have too many.”

“I’ll look up some quick, natural remedies then,” she scrolled on her phone. “Looks like we are in luck.”

“How so?”

“The minerals in the lake here are used as a solution to kill fleas fast, along with any other bugs that might be crawling on her. We should have thrown her in the lake instead.”

“We’ll it _is_  just right outside, let’s do that now.”

Walking back out, they tip-toed past Pearl and Blue, who were both passed out and curled up on the bed together. On the nightstand were several empty beer bottles. Naturally Lapis snapped a couple pictures of them to “document.”

The remainder of the night was spent taking care of Gunther’s tick problem, before creating a makeshift mat on the hotel floor. In those hours, they learned much about their new dog's behavior and habits. She loved water, was potty-trained, knew how to sit and stay, and apparently loved chaaaps as well. Because when they woke up the next morning, Gunther had gotten into all four bags.    

 

* * *

 

 

If she thought the pink chalk cliffs were amazing, Peridot was mistaken. Lake Obsidian was breathtakingly magical. Dark as night, it echoed the smaller, western lake. The biggest difference was that the other side across the body of water was not visible. It was equivalent to standing in front of an ocean.

Lapis took Peridot’s hand in her own. Letting herself get lost in the moment, she focused on the breeze whispering through her hair and the sun on her skin.

“Take a look at this,” Pearl told them. She was not referring to the view, but her phone in hand. The three girls huddled over, to check it out. Garnet had sent Pearl a picture of her and Amethyst at the beach. And, wait a moment, was that Lars and Sadie? “Garnet also sent the text, _look who we found._ ”

Lars was obviously on a date, Peridot could tell. Fortunately for her somewhat cranky friend, Sadie looked very happy. _They must be having a good time,_ she thought. It was a while since she last talked to him. And by a while, she meant over a week. _I need to hang out with him when I get back and see how he’s doing._

“Let’s send her one back,” Blue suggested. Pearl replied to her housemate with a selfie they took a few moments ago.

“They’re probably jealous,” Peridot stated.

“Probably. While you’re texting her Pearl, tell them we have a surprise,” agreed Lapis, adjusting her arm to carry Gunther better.

She would have invited the rest of them, but with things still hazy between Pearl and Amethyst, it was likely not the brightest idea. Garnet was the one who suggested they go in the first place, so she understood. Still, Peridot did not like leaving the others out.

And while she wanted to ask Pearl how her relationship with Amethyst was standing, she did not dare to during the trip. Not when they were stuck with each other on this trip.

Spending the majority of their time next to the main lake, Peridot treated them to a boat tour and lunch. She wanted to do this for them. The tour guided the boat across the lake and to the island residing on the eastern end. Ancient fossils could be found all through the sand consisting of several species of coral, cephalopods, and crinoids. The tour guide told the group how the lake used to be a saltwater sea, and before that, the Great Ocean. To Peridot’s utter dismay, they were not allowed to carry fossils off the island, and was recommended to purchase them in the gift store. Even so, she swiped a small one without anyone looking.

After the tour, the girls went back to their hotel suite and changed clothes for a hike. While the area around the lake was not very mountainous or hilly, they could still wander around the trails circumferencing the park.

Why was it always when she was having fun, that the days would fly right by?

To end their day, they topped it off with the relaxing hot springs after walking an hour down a trail. While they were not attached to the main lodge, the several springs were up kept. Ranging from big to small, vapor flowed into the colder air. A wooden sign hung from one of the trees, stating the springs closed at 11pm. Peridot noticed they were the only ones around, wondering why it was not more crowded.

“Apparently there are springs all throughout the park, not just this location,” Pearl answered.

“Alright, we get this place all to ourselves!” Lapis whooped happily, as she threw off her jacket onto the forest floor. And then her shirt. And pants. And then nothing. The blonde was surprised that her girlfriend was actually comfortable being naked in front of others. Not that she didn’t have an amazing body.

“What are you doing?” Peridot asked, while Pearl and Blue were following Lapis’ lead.

“Skinny dipping, duh. There are no rules here for it.” She was right the sign did not state anything about clothing regulations. “See, Gunther beat me to it.”

The dog already jumped in the water, and was paddling through it contently.

She hesitated, taking in a deep breath. “Okay.” This was her first time skinny-dipping. She was alright being naked in front of Lapis, even though they scarcely saw each other like that. But the pale girl was somewhat self-conscious about her own body. Would the others notice she had somewhat of a flat chest and larger hips? Most definitely. A twinge of nervousness made her hesitant.

But she went with it. Peridot convinced herself that she did not feel pressured to do so, she was merely unaccustomed to the idea. Trying to push all anxious thoughts out of her head, her clothes fell to the floor next to Lapis’.

“The water feels wonderful,” Lapis went nose deep, and closed her eyes serenely.

“It really does. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had this in Beach City,” Pearl agreed.

The blonde was the last one to join. “Not really, all the sex driven teenagers would ruin it for everyone.” As she stepped in, Peridot picked up a tea candle and tossed it aside. “I wonder what this is doing here,” she shrugged.

Lapis and Pearl looked at each other, while Blue looked just as confused as Peridot.

“One of those sex driven teenagers you were talking about must have forgotten it,” Lapis revealed.

“Oh.” _Way to not see the obvious_ , she thought.

But Lapis and Pearl were right, the water did feel great. It was hot, but not boiling, and just enough to melt the cold lingering on her skin. Steam rose and formed clouds of vapor in the air. The pine trees canopying above revealed a gap of clear, dark sky. Scooting closer to Lapis on a rock, the blonde did her utmost best not to stare at her girlfriend’s chest. She preferred rather to not make Pearl or Blue uncomfortable.

Speaking of their roommates, Blue was not making any sort of eye contact with Pearl at all, ever since they jumped in. Though those two were rather close in proximity, Blue hugged her legs to her chest. Peridot figured she was in the same type of predicament.

“This is so perfect. And on top of that, there’s nothing around us for miles. What a good idea to come here Peridot,” Pearl went on.

“Yeah, thanks for planning this trip. We could have helped too,” Blue added.

“Eh, I usually like planning trips like this,” the blonde brushed off a pine needle that fell on her arm. As she squirmed, her leg accidentally touched Lapis’. Well, partially on accident. Sitting back down, her foot slipped on a rock and Peridot submerged completely. Instead of hitting a bottom, she continued to sink.

Feeling a hand around her arm, the blonde was pulled back up, her hair completely flat.

“Thank you, my hero,” she praised her girlfriend sarcastically. “I thought I was going to drown.”

“Well I wasn’t going to let you be a little pervert under there,” Lapis smirked.

“That’s… that’s not what I-“

“We know,” Pearl laughed.

“Sorry Peri, we’re just joking with you,” Lapis winked, and responsively Peridot smiled back.    

“This thing is so deep. I wonder how far it goes,” leaning forward, Peridot peered down with a firmer hold on the rocks this time.

With a splash to her face, Lapis suddenly dove underwater. Instead of swimming back up, she continued sinking. The water was clear enough where Lapis’ form could be made out, though blurry.

A minute had passed and Pearl spoke up, “Um is she alright?” The pink haired girl laughed nervously.

“I think…so?” Blue was not sure either.

The blue haired girl emerged from the pool depths gasping for air, startling them like a shark attack. Breathing heavily, Lapis answered Peridot’s question, “It goes down more than twelve feet, so more than two times the height of Peridot,” She gracefully swam back to the side, where Gunther was enthusiastically waiting with her tail wagging.

“Hey, watch it,” the blonde said in a joking way that sounded serious.

But ever since Lapis surfaced, she continued breathing somewhat desperately. Pearl and Blue were in their own world talking about how silly the class they shared is. While Peridot listened attentively, her girlfriend next to her had leaned back and shut her eyes. At first, the blonde thought Lapis was just relaxing or sleeping. But shifting her attention, she noticed her scrunched forehead. It almost seemed like she was panicking.

“Lapis are you alright?”

The blue haired girl’s eyes shot open and darted over at Peridot. Putting a hand over her bare chest, she finally said, “I-I don’t think so.”

Without wasting any time, Peridot responded, “Here, let’s get out and go back.”

The two other girls took notice something was going on with Lapis. “Oh my goodness, what’s wrong?” Pearl asked, as Lapis stumbled out of the hot spring. Gunther hurriedly started to lick the water off of Peridot’s legs, and it tickled. Unzipping her backpack, she grabbed two small towels, handing one over to Lapis.

Peridot spoke for her girlfriend, “I think we’re both a bit overheated and need to go back to the room.”

Blue continued to have a worried expression, while Pearl covered up a snicker. “Well, if you say so. Have fun you two.”

Oh. _OH._ “No that’s not what I meant at all, we’re just tired!”

Laughing, Pearl returned, “We’ll meet you two back at the room. We already have a card key and a flashlight.”

“Cool, we’ll rejoin there,” quickly she pulled up her pants and shimmied into her tank top, before waving bye to their roommates.

Supporting her arm, heat was radiating off of Lapis. The height difference made it a bit awkward for Peridot to hold her up, but if she did not, Lapis would be wavering around. Though she was quiet, it felt like Lapis was convulsing.

When they were far enough away and out of earshot, Peridot asked, “Do you know what’s happening?”

“Ever since I came back up from diving, my heartbeat has been pounding like crazy. My head is so dizzy,” Lapis leaned further into Peridot, as they made their way back on the trail. Feeling a drop land on her pale shoulder, the blonde realized it was a tear from Lapis.

The hike was relatively easy on the way back. Instead of heading straight to their suite, Peridot guided them towards the lake, where there was a log to sit on. Maybe being by the gentle, rippling water would calm Lapis. She sat both of them down on a large log around some driftwood.

The tan girl kept breathing sharply, even though they were out of the hot spring and sitting down in the cool air. This was more serious than she realized, and she did not know how to help.

Enveloping Lapis in her arms protectively, Peridot asked, “What do you need? Are you hot and light-headed from the spring? Maybe you’re dehydrated, you should drink some of my water.” Pulling a plastic bottle that still retained some chill, she offered it to Lapis who accepted it.

After taking a large gulp and wiping her lips, Lapis spoke, “Maybe that’s part of it. But holding my breath while diving is what’s probably causing it. I haven’t felt that lack of oxygen since…” She looked away. “I can’t stop my heart from racing even though I want it to. And then thinking about feeling trapped at home with my sister, it’s so overwhelming.”

Peridot blinked.

“I wish I could just run away from my own head, from these thoughts. I wish it would all go away and leave me alone so I could function like a normal person,” her eyes began to water, turning her violet eyes into a deep blue.

“That’s why I suggested taking a vacation in the first place.” Peridot could not understand what Lapis had exactly gone through in the past. But she had experienced hurt as well, and for the two of them lately, many emotions were resurfacing.

“We both needed this.”  

Peridot nodded. “You more than I though.”

“Don’t discount what you’ve dealt with recently. I know a lot of it is due to me.”

“What? I’ve never had to _deal_ with you. Why would you think that way?”

The blue haired girl turned her head again to stare out at the lake, avoiding eye contact. “I just feel bad. You deserve better than me.”

“Are you sure about that? _Are_ you aware of my vaguely criminal background?” Peridot chuckled. It was her attempt to make her girlfriend feel better.

Pausing for a moment, Lapis asked in a small voice, “Do you ever question me?”

“N-no, never! I mean, there were times I questioned myself, but never you.”

“Are you being honest?”

“Yes.” Peridot said strongly, and she meant it.

That single word caused Lapis to break out in tears. Peridot could feel her hands getting warm. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. You’re too good to have to cope with this. I can’t continue dragging you down with me.” The words flowed out like she was talking to herself.

“If you believe you’re dragging me around, you’re mistaken. I’ll willingly go wherever you decide to and support you through hell, every single time.”

The taller girl let go of Peridot’s hands and grasp, and hugged her own waist. The shorter girl gave her that space. “I can’t live feeling like this anymore.”

The blonde felt both frustrated and anxious. “Tell me what you want me to do, I’ll do anything. You know that,” Peridot placed her right hand on Lapis’ arm. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

“I want you to leave.”

“What?” Peridot was taken aback.

“I’m sorry, that was very blunt,” Lapis caught herself, and hugged her own waist tighter. Gunther was quietly sleeping on the burgundy sand, next to her feet. “I just need some time alone to get my mind straight. It’s something I need to clear on my own, without leaning on you for support.”

Did she really believe that? Lapis never used Peridot as a crutch metaphorically, as far as she knew. To her, the opposite was true. The blue haired girl was likely the strongest person she had ever met, and aside from scarce moments, was a very positive person. But maybe Peridot was oblivious to it all, she would not be surprised. Maybe Lapis did need space apart from her.

“Fine,” Peridot gulped back a choke. It was the only thing she could say in that moment without wanting to faint. She lifted her hand off of Lapis’ shoulder, and walked away towards their hotel suite, not looking back. Hearing Lapis faintly cry behind her, made Peridot’s heart break. If she turned back to comfort her, it would only make Lapis feel worse and resent her even more.

Confusion overtook her. Why was none of this making sense? What was wrong with her? Had she been blind this whole time about her girlfriend?

Were they still together anymore?

Peridot held her tears in, determined to spare Pearl and Blue her emotions when she walked through the door. It could not be over, not like that. Lapis would not end their relationship like that.

Entering through the sliding glass door to their hotel room, her two other friends laid on one of the beds, binge-watching TV on Pearl’s computer. She would make a run for the bathroom to clean up her face, before either of them could notice.

“Hey Peridot! Where’s Lapis and Gunther?” Blue greeted her, as a commercial was playing in the background.

“You both really have to see this show Blue introduced to me,” Pearl added, scooting over to make room for her, patting the bed. “It’s surprisingly hilarious!”

“Maybe in a second.” She really needed to clean the eyeliner and mascara from her eyes. The room was still dim enough to the point they might not notice they looked similar to a raccoons’.

“Wait,” Pearl paused the video, and moved off the couch.

_Crap, she noticed. Of course. Pearl is the most attentive roommate to ever exist._

The taller girl went over in front of Peridot, squinting her eyes. “Where’s Lapis?” She repeated what Blue initially asked. Realizing that her roommate was emotionally not alright, she much more worriedly added, “What happened?”

“Lapis, she… I don’t really know.” She was shaken up, and just as confused as her friends. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she leaned forward, crossing her arms. “We walked over to the lake, and she wanted to be alone that’s all. She needs some space apart from me,” Peridot ran her hand through her hair and let out a laugh, finding none of it actually funny.

Neither Pearl nor Blue found the situation humorous either. Peridot hardly noticed Pearl hurrying to the sink to wet a washcloth. Blue moved next to the blonde, while giving each other an appropriate amount of space.

“Here,” Pearl handed her the damp cloth, and Peridot began dabbing her eyes with it, cleaning off the eye makeup. “Did something happen between you two?” The pink haired girl sat next to her, hands in her lap.

“Not that I know of,” she fought back her voice, which began to tighten up again. “She wants to be alone away from me. She told me that she did not want to burden me any longer. Does this mean she wants to break up with me?” Frantically, Peridot placed both hands on Pearl’s shoulders. “Who am I kidding, maybe I’m not the best match for her anyway.” How could she even allow those words to escape her lips? Though she was hurt, it did not mean she had to doubt where their relationship stood. Or perhaps it did not matter any longer.

“I don’t know all the details of what happened,” Pearl leaned in to give the smaller girl a hug, “But I think I might relate to what she’s feeling. Still, she has no reason to believe she’s hurting you.”

Blue sighed, shifting the focus on herself. “I didn’t want to share this without Lapis’ permission, but you deserve to know. You haven’t seen her like this much. But my roommate is deals with frequent anxiety and panic attacks. Lapis does her best to hide it, because she doesn’t want you feeling uncomfortable. Or anyone for the matter. Again I hate telling all this about my roommate, since this is her business. But I hope it helps you understand where she’s coming from. It’s definitely not you Peridot, I promise.”

Her girlfriend promised her they would be honest with each other from now on. Why did Lapis not tell her about her anxiety sooner? Lapis was almost definitely having a panic attack then, and Peridot just left. That’s the last thing she should have done.

“I don’t think of Lapis any differently, I can’t,” Peridot sniffed. “Just, why did she not tell me sooner?”

Taking a breath, Blue began, “My roommate, Lapis, I love her, but she’s a very private person. Though she appears to wear her heart on her sleeve, she keeps a lot inside. It’s not you. It’s just a trait about her, which I’m not sure is a healthy thing. But I do know she thinks the world of you, and deeply trusts you.”

Pulling on her hair, Peridot blurted, “I don’t even know what to do, or what I’m doing here. How could I be so horrible to leave her back there with no struggle? How could I _do_ that? I’m aware of what she’s dealt with, but I thought we were working through things together.”

“It’s going to take a little time, I think,” placing a thin hand on her arm, Blue gave the blonde a look saying she understood.  

“If you are okay with it Peridot,” Pearl butted in, “may I go talk to her?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because I think I can relate to her in a different way, and it might help having a person she doesn’t know as well to talk to. But,” Pearl hesitated, “I don’t want to do anything that crosses any lines.” Her teal eyes conveyed the same emotion Peridot saw in Lapis’ at the shore. Maybe, just maybe, she might understand.

“It doesn’t really make me uncomfortable, but I don’t know if that’s a smart idea,” Lapis really seemed like she wanted to be left alone.

“I would like to, I think it might help. Plus I do need some fresh air.” Where they were vacationing, the air could not get any cleaner.

Walking over to the door, Pearl slipped on her shoes. _Is she actually going to talk to Lapis?_ Was Peridot really okay with this?

“Wait, Pearl! Before you go, tell me honestly. Do you think I might have done anything to make her upset?” She directed the question at Blue as well.

“Not that I’ve seen. This is all pretty surprising to me,” she shook her head.

“Don’t feel bad at all. I promise, this isn’t about anything you’ve done,” Blue reassured.

_Anything I’ve done._

After Pearl left the suite, Peridot thought about those words. Why was she so hung up on them? Was she a hundred percent sure she did nothing ill?

_Isn’t about anything._

_Anything I’ve done._

_I’ve done._

_That was it._

An epiphany struck her hard, and frankly the realization embarrassed her. It was so obvious. This whole time she was worried about her own relationship with Lapis, when that’s not what she should be worried about. This vacation was about making Lapis feel at peace again. But there was no way she could ever get over the trauma she experienced in just a few days. That would be impossible. Those things took time, and one vacation was not going to erase all her memories or anxiety.  

And here she was, fretting about their relationship, and things she could have done. The blue haired girl never said those things because of them. Reality was Lapis was burdened from her past, her sister, mother, her job, in ways Peridot did not understand. It was because of these things Lapis wanted to be left alone, and was not due to anything she did at all. It was so blatant, yet ever since she came back to the room, Peridot had focused on herself.

She had made a mistake by leaving Lapis’ side in the first place. It was she who should be out there with Lapis, not Pearl. Peridot was ashamed of herself. If she had not hurt her girlfriend in the past, she had surely failed now.

Scrambling off the bed, she ran to the chair to grab her hoodie and shoes. The sudden movement woke startled Blue who now had consumed three beers.

“Where are you going?” Blue slurred slightly, dreamily.

“Back to Lapis. I should have never left.” The blonde needed to do this. She needed to support Lapis, like a quality girlfriend.

But as she whipped the door wide open, Lapis and Pearl were standing right outside. Pearl held her arm out, about to hold the room key up to the card reader.

“Y-you’re back!”

“Peridot,” Lapis began, but never finished her sentence. Grabbing the blonde by the front of her black hoodie, she pulled her in for a tight hug and then a hard kiss. “I’m so sorry, and hope you can forgive me.”

“We should talk about it.”

“Okay.”

Pearl went inside leaving the two girls with a room key. They went back to the place where the situation happened to redo the scenario the right way. Peridot learned though her relationship with Lapis might not be perfect, she finally grasped the concept that no relationship was. But they were both willing to open up and grow together. And that was worth more to Peridot than any unrealistic expectation of what a relationship is supposed to be. In the end, she accepted and was even happy to shatter those illusions. It was this night Peridot finally acknowledged that she was in love with Lapis Lazuli.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot happens in this chapter, but I couldn't decide where to divide it.


	27. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis begin their day at a late start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. This chapter was a lot easier to write, which was nice.

“Come on Lapis,” Peridot moaned, not unpleasantly, “We’ll be late to our classes.”

Gently, the blue haired girl made a shush sound, and placed a finger to silence her lips. “Just appreciate the moment.” Lapis went down Peridot’s neck, and the blonde felt the weight on top of her shift.

Peridot was in the middle of saying “okay,” when she caught herself. “Wait, seriously. We have maybe fifteen minutes to get there, and you’re not even dressed.” The blonde had woken up before her girlfriend and went to the bathroom to shower and change. When she got back, Lapis was awake, completely nude, and beckoning Peridot over to her own bed.

“And that’s a problem?” Lapis smirked. “You don’t have to pretend you don’t enjoy it.”

“I… You’re putting me in a predicament,” she said as her girlfriend continued to massage her chests.

“Well, it just means we’ll have to finish this faster,” Peridot beat Lapis to her kiss, as she pulled her head from behind and held it firmly against her own.

“I suppose you’re right,” the pale girl said somewhat choppy. It was hard to make her sentences flow normally when Lapis was grinding her leg on just the right spot.

Peridot made a face which indicated to Lapis she was getting closer.

But then she stopped, which made Peridot groan. “Lapis, why?” Her body begged to keep the motion going. “Why did you stop?”

“I want to try something,” Lapis cupped her face with her hand, a thumb stroking her red cheek. She could feel her hot breath.

“Anything, just, please.” Her own body was going crazy. She felt like she might explode. To encourage her girlfriend on, Peridot felt up the girl’s tan waist and grabbed her hips.

It worked. Lapis moved down Peridot again, but this time she kept going. Finally she was completely off of Peridot and at the foot of her legs.

_Wait. What is Lapis going to do?_

Swiftly, Lapis pulled down Peridot’s shorts and underwear, much faster than any average person. Throwing them on the ground, she opened and spread her short legs wide, and partially over her slender shoulders. Suddenly, Lapis’ hot breath turned cold against her inner thighs.

And then it happened.

It was relief and want at the same time. Spending a few moments sucking and making circles with her tongue, Lapis wasted no time plunging two fingers inside, once Peridot’s hips bucked. It was an experience, a feeling Peridot had never felt before. It was indescribable.

She covered her mouth with both hands as she let out a silent scream.

At that note, Lapis kissed her way up to Peridot’s mouth again. “That wasn’t so bad, was it,” she smirked.

“Geez,” Peridot regained her breath. “That was pretty good?” Really, Lapis was amazing.

Chuckling the blue haired girl traced paths with her fingers along Peridot’s chest and visible, well-defined collarbone. “I don’t think I tell you this enough, but you are so beautiful.”

Peridot covered her reddening cheeks like a dork. If she returned those same words to Lapis, it would sound counterfeit and fake, even though she fully believed them. She scooted up in a sitting position, burying her face into the crook of Lapis’ neck.

“Well, I suppose we should get going then,” Lapis said casually, playing with Peridot’s slightly above shoulder-length hair.

“Can we lay here, just a bit longer?” For once, Peridot wanted to pretend she did not have any other obligations besides her girlfriend.

From the side of Peridot’s room, Gunther yawned and stood up from her mat sleepily. Ever since they found her during their vacation at Lake Obsidian, her fur coat turned much fuller and darker. At first glance she looked like a black ball of fluff.   

Each night, Peridot and Lapis would take turns bringing Gunther home, splitting the responsibility evenly. Not only that, but sleepovers became a recurring theme each night since their vacation. Had it already been a month since then?

Gunther trotted over to the two girls, jumping up to prop herself up at the side of the bed. She needed to go outside, and they needed to get going.

“Alright kids, who’s going to take Gunther to school today?” Lapis poorly imitated an overly enthusiastic parent.

“I took her to my classes two days in a row.”

“So it sounds like it’s my turn then. I’m surprised the only person who’s discovered her is the guy who sits next to me during my second class.”

“It’s convenient that she’s quiet the majority of the time. Usually she just sleeps in my bag. I’m amazed no one has asked about it yet.”

“What’s inside your brightly colored duffel bag?” Lapis was buttoning up her high-waisted jeans, while pointing to the corner where a pile of Peridot’s things were. “Well they probably know you don’t play sports, so likely everyone just thinks you’re a drug dealer.”

“Thanks a lot Lapis.”

“But we both know that’s not true,” she came over to Peridot who was throwing on a t-shirt, kissing her neck.

“Would you still date me?”

“What do you mean?” She hummed.

“If I was a drug dealer?”

“No,” Lapis said right away.

Peridot remembered. _That’s right_. Lapis had seen many people throughout her life, including family, deal with drug abuse. “Well you’re lucky I’m too innocent for that,” she joked. Lapis already knew she had faults in other places, like the money she took when she left Diamond. But even with that, she did not know if it was necessarily bad.

Her girlfriend continued, “Dating you is pretty refreshing honestly. When you mentioned while we started dating that you weren’t into drugs, it was a huge relief to me. Do you know how prevalent it is here in Beach City? Especially in the environment I worked in and with LGBT people here. I was fairly surprised you weren’t into the whole scene, when we first met. Not that you look like a druggie or anything. That’s how common it is.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m not from around here,” chuckling, turned around to return Lapis’ kiss before putting a doggie sweater on Gunther. They were so fortunate that she was such a low-maintenance dog, and potty-trained, who would have thought. “There you go, one paw at a time. Blue is going to flip out when she sees her new sweater.”

The taller girl swooped to pick Gunther up in her arms, after she finished dressing. “You ready?”

Peridot swung her backpack over her shoulders and nodded, “Yep!”

Because it was her last semester, classes were either blatantly dull or high-key stressful. Each day of classes took her energy level for a roller coaster ride. Typical senior year. Fortunately for her, she thought ahead and took action to complete her homework for the next few weeks. That way, she could focus on work, and on figuring out a plan to escape her mother’s threats.

After the morning they had met for brunch, Peridot drove home as quickly as she could. When she parked along the street she ran from her car and into her house. Once she got to her room, she slammed it shut, locking herself inside and closing the blinds to her window. From her shirt she took out a little device, her tiny friend, a recorder.

It was a device Peridot had created, which was the size of a penny. Whipping out her phone from her back pocket, the recorder was connected wirelessly to an app she programmed from scratch. All she needed to do was turn it on and off, and from her phone she could manage the controls discreetly. Even though her phone did have a voice recorder pre-installed, it worked like shit. Plus there were perks with her own device. She could hide it anywhere at any distance, and would capture high quality recordings, even if she was miles away.

But she set limits on its usage. Not once had she used it with Lapis, or any of her roommates. Sure she was very tempted. The thought of gaining any sort of private knowledge enticed her. But she restrained, knowing that’s not what friends did to each other and certainly not girlfriends. And besides, she would not want it to happen to herself.

She hid it inside a miniature safe, where she kept all sorts of tools she created for her own use. She uploaded the recording on a locked USB drive and threw it in the safe as well. The combination was something only she knew.

Peridot fully realized, at least in the tech industry, CEOs and executives made secret deals or threats all the time. Even though she was lucky to capture Yellow Diamond blackmailing her, it was a matter of how she was going to _use_ the material. She had not thought that far.

Sitting on the edge of the bed leaning over, she broke the silence in her room with a groan. “How was she going to get out of this? All she wanted was her pay’s worth for all the work she put in at Diamond, to go to college, to live her own life. And with her mother on her tail, she might only have a taste of that freedom. Lapis did not deserve to be dragged down by her own issues. It was not fair. She at least deserved to know, after they promised to not withhold anything from each other.

And Lapis accepted it, was fully supportive of her in fact. Maybe she did not understand the severity of Peridot’s situation. That was okay.

Since then Lapis continued her support whenever the topic came up. The blonde did not talk about it that much.

During her time in class, along with taking notes Peridot would brainstorm ideas of how to turn the tables on Yellow Diamond. She was not the most creative thinker, to her realization. Perhaps it was because it stressed her out. Maybe an idea would appear out of the blue.

Days had passed, and then weeks. She was tired, stressed, and completely done with dwelling over it. It was only today in her third class when she devised a flawless idea, a surefire way to get Yellow Diamond off her back, and out of her life completely.

She was so excited, she ran all the way to the front of the library, up the concrete steps, and through the automatic sliding doors. During a group text message Sadie had initiated earlier, Peridot promised to meet her, as well as Lapis and Lars at their usual study spot.

But it was only Lars and Sadie who were there at the table, minus her girlfriend. Lars was completely out, dead asleep on the table and using his backpack as a pillow. Sadie had a mountain sized stack of books, and looked much more responsible.

Panting, Peridot bent over, putting both hands on her knees. Looking up, she greeted, “Hey guys! Is Lapis here? I have to tell her something!”

As Lars continued to lay motionless, Sadie pointed, “Oh hey Peridot! Yeah she’s right over there in aisle…” But Peridot had already sat her bags down, and zoomed away.

“Lapis, are you over here?” Peridot whispered as loudly as she could, scanning the rows of endless books. “Miss Lazuli!” It was quieter than usual in the library. So when a hand placed itself over her mouth, Peridot nearly jumped right out of her skin.

“Shhh,” Lapis indicated, failing to remove the hand from the blonde’s face.

“I hope you never do that again,” the pale girl muffled into her palm. “If you do I’ll…” But Lapis ignored her, guiding the smaller girl down the hallway. She had a serious expression and did not look her in the eye.

“Huh?” breathed Peridot confused, as Lapis pushed her against a wall.

But it was not in the way she thought was going to play out.

“Don’t look around,” Lapis ordered Peridot as she neared the corner of the wall. “Wait.”

They stood in silence until Peridot realized there was a source of noise coming from the other side of the wall. “What?”

There were two distinct voices speaking, or, rather murmuring back and forth. The first she did not recognize though it clearly sounded feminine. But the second was too familiar. _Pearl_?

She was curious and tempted to look around. But Lapis stopped her before she could, and that’s when it hit her that her roommate was hooking up in the library. She did not even need to see to know what was happening.

Ferociously blushing, Peridot walked away, pulling along Lapis’ hand. Why did her girlfriend bring her here in the first place? They had no right to survey their friend like that. Why did Lapis even care? “Let’s go.”

“Peridot wait.” Lapis pulled her over to the other side of the library basement. “I didn’t mean to make you feel embarrassed. I was just thinking of Blue. I thought she and Pearl hit it off during our vacation, we both did. And not only that. You have to admit, they’ve been _really_ flirty with each other ever since, and going out all the time.”

The shorter girl looked the other way and nodded. She was trying to process what she experienced. What was going on with her housemate anyway?

“I thought it was only a matter of time before Pearl would ask Blue out officially,” her shoulders slumped.

Peridot thought so too. Pearl was always put together, somewhat conservative acting but not at the same time, and not very rash at all in general. And she considered hooking up in a library to be a fairly risky situation. It just did not seem like her.

“Pearl’s been going through a lot.”

Lapis nodded.

“So, maybe she doesn’t want to be serious or date right now?” Peridot suggested.

Massaging her chin with her fingers, Lapis responded, “Perhaps. Anyway, I don’t like it.”

“I wonder how Blue will react when she hears.”

“She’s not going to,” shot Lapis quickly. “We’ll just strongly, but casually, suggest leaving Pearl alone and finding someone new to fangirl over.”

“But Blue’s going to wonder why we are suddenly not supporting her feelings for Pearl.”

“I don’t know what else to suggest,” Lapis shrugged. “It’s weird, because it’s technically not cheating, but at the same time,”

“It’s misleading.” Peridot finished her sentence.

“You’re exactly right,” Lapis instantly affirmed her words.

“I guess that’s the best way to handle the situation,” Peridot came to conclusion. “But, if she for whatever reason asks about it, we have to tell the truth about what we heard.” The blonde looked at Lapis straight on with her green eyes. “We promised to each other we would be honest right? Well, I think in these kind of cases, our friends deserve that too.”

“You’re right,” Lapis echoed. “It looks like we’re on the same page.”

For some reason, knowing she and Lapis had similar opinions made her feel a bit better. “We really should get back to Sadie and Lars. I’m sure they must be wondering about us.”

“I need to find a couple books a few aisles down there,” Lapis indicated to her left.

“We should have done that in the first place.” Just then Peridot remembered what she was doing herself, after running to the library and looking for Lapis. “Speaking of which, I finally have a master plan.”

Already knowing what Peridot was referring to, Lapis replied with a sigh, “Let’s hear it.”


	28. Mothers' Day Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not actually mother's day. And yes, in the chapter title the apostrophe is in the right place.

“Are you sure?”

“Completely.”

Peridot sat in a rather tastefully furnished office room along with her girlfriend, and a man sitting across the table. Appearing to be in his mid-forties, he sported a clean cut hairstyle, and short, trimmed beard which appeared to already be turning grey. Bookshelves took up the entire left wall, with law and psychology books. This man talked with full confidence, and even had a doctorates degree from an Ivy League school. He must know what he’s doing, Peridot decided.

“Although, I will be honest and say you’re the first client who’s actually done something about it on their own. This makes things a little more complicated on your end.”

Part of Peridot’s plan to deal with her mother, which she shared with Lapis, was to go see a law attorney. A few days ago, she finally found the solution to getting out of this mess, and it was staring right at her in the face while she was overthinking this whole time. In her closet, she remembered the employee contract she had printed out herself during her time at Diamond Co.

She had signed an official agreement, followed by the Human Resources department.

Though it would be much easier to erase all of her existence in Diamond’s files, Peridot realized she no longer wanted to take that sort of route. There was no point. It would just open up another hole for Diamond to discover, no matter how good she was with getting away with these sort of things. On top of that, Diamond was accusing her of stealing valuable information, that she had no knowledge of. Eventually they would catch up again. If she wanted to end and bandage all ties, she needed a law attorney to talk with first.

Dr. Doug Maheswaren was his name from what Peridot researched beforehand. Along with his degrees, he worked as a cop before law. _Hopefully he had a sense of justice,_ Peridot thought, if she had any luck.

_“According to subsection two, no employer shall withhold pay from any employee or client without consent.”_

Peridot read on.

_“An employee/client who thinks their employer has violated section five has the right to file a complaint within 24 months (two years) since the last alleged violation.”_

“Does your previous employer have any sort of written consent that you provided?”

“Nothing. I never signed any consent form to withholding my pay.”

“May I ask you a question?” The attorney looked up from the contract copy Peridot scanned and printed out before her appointment. “Why did you not question or decide to leave the moment when your employer withheld your first paycheck? Diamond Co. is a very reputable company for treating their employees with respect. But with that said, the largest corporations have faults. You’re early in your career, have a clean record thus far, and seem to have the ability to find work easily.”

“This might be hard to believe,” Peridot hesitated, yet looking at him straight in the eyes. “But Yellow Diamond, the CEO of Diamond is my mother. I realize ‘Diamond’ is not the most common last name, but you can look at my birth certificate.” It was not the most uncommon last name either. 

“And she did not want to pay her own daughter,” he said unfazed, without hesitation, glancing again at her file. Peridot did not need any more proof. “Sometimes it’s family who can be the worst.”

The blonde nodded, “It wasn’t like I could just get up and leave. And I was under eighteen when I started working for my mother’s company. At that age, I didn’t exactly know what to do about it. I didn’t know my options and thought I was completely trapped.” And with Yellow Diamond threatening her, she still was, in a way. “My girlfriend, Lapis Lazuli, is the only other one whom I’ve shared the situation with. All I want is to end ties with Diamond for good, and not have it end up on my record. If it’s possible to keep the hundred thousand dollars which was withheld from my salary, it would be optimal. But I understand if that is not an option.” Lapis listened quietly while the other two talked.

“And are you considering going to court with this?” the Dr. Maheswaren asked seriously.

“No, preferably not.”

Sighing, he replied, “I’m afraid what both parties have done is illegal. If you had sought a lawyer rather than taken initiative, the solution would have a much clearer path for you. Because nothing was officially accepted or signed, apart from your employee packet which mentions pay, it is looking worse for Diamond. Why are you coming in today, after so much time has passed?”

Peridot and Lapis both looked at each other. “My mother was threatening me. She thinks I not only stole a large sum of money, but a confidential project they’re working on which would revolutionize technology. She described the project like that, with those words.”

“And have you?”

“No, I have no clue to what she’s talking about.”

“What do you recommend we do?” Lapis asked curiously.

“If they have no proof of you taking the project, they cannot make an official claim to say you stole it. My recommendation is to talk to your mother again. Offer to return the money you’ve kept safe, in exchange for her to drop the situation. But stand firm in that you never took anything else. Document everything.”

Peridot planned to anyway.

Taking Dr. Maheswaren’s advice, Peridot and Lapis talked through it over lunch, about what the blonde should say. They came to conclusion that it would be easiest to send the money back to Yellow Diamond, but to also explain truthfully why she took it in the first place. Yellow Diamond owed Peridot that much to listen to her own daughter.

Unable to distract her anxious mind completely, Peridot inhaled her chicken salad and fries when the food came to the table. Naturally Lapis teased Peridot for her stomach being a vacuum.

“Are you ready to do this?” Lapis asked her as they sat on the edge of Peridot’s bed. Gunther laid in Lapis’ lap, curled up and comfortable.

“No,” The thought of talking to her mother was terrifying. But why did she even let Yellow Diamond have this much emotional control over her in the first place? Peridot let out a long groan, “I guess so,” before dialing a familiar phone number. Pressing the phone up to her right ear, Lapis sat on her other side with a hand on her leg.

The phone answered with silence in the background. It made this phone conversation increasingly more awkward.

“Um, hello?”

“Peridot,” a sharp, commanding voice immediately responded.

“Hello to you too mom.”

“So are you finally willing to comply?”

Just as usual, she was right to the point. Peridot knew how to arrange her words just so, in case Yellow Diamond was recording this as well. She had written down, and practiced word for word what she would tell her mother.

“I will give you $100,000 to make up for what you’ve lost.” If she did not specify giving it back or taking it in the first place, maybe Yellow Diamond would not be able to point a finger at her in the future.

“And will you be returning the project as well?”

“As well? Are you assuming I am returning the $100,000 to you? No, I am giving it to you. If anybody is to return anything, you should be returning my earned pay. I worked two years at Diamond, and the employee contract that was signed by both parties said I would be. Ignoring that is illegal. As for a project, I don’t have it because it doesn’t exist. It’s fictitious, something you made up to bring me back home.” Peridot knew personally Diamond wasn’t working on any projects like mother described, after spending countless hours researching.

The blonde continued. “I know we did not have much of a relationship when I was growing up. I… I wish we had,” that was not entirely true, but whatever, maybe it would help. “I understand now. You wanted me to work at Diamond so we could share something in common. That has to be the reason, because I have never seen you away from your work. I also understand why you weren’t paying me, though it was illegal in the first place. You thought I would be living under your wing forever, and were planning to care for me my entire life. But threatening me to remain at home is rather unreasonable, don’t you think? I’m a legal adult now, and want to be respected like one. I don’t need to lean on your support and constant watch like a child. I have my own aspirations and goals, and finally my own life.”

Silence on the other line. Peridot could just imagine her mother’s eyes bulging out. Lapis looked amazed.

“Do you really believe I see you as a daughter anymore?”

 _Ouch_. Those words were not supposed to burn like that.

“Maybe in the past, you did. All I want is to live my own life.” _Apart from you._

Yellow Diamond was thinking the exact same thing. “You’re just like your father. You even look and sound like that good for nothing son of a bitch. And now you are going to leave for the exact same reason he did.”

Her father? Peridot had not given him much thought. He and her mother divorced when she was just a toddler. All she knew is that he walked out on them. Did he leave because Yellow Diamond was such a control freak? How much different would her life have been, if he had decided to take her with him?  

“If that’s the case,” spoke her mother, “then like your father, you are no longer part of this family and want nothing to do with you. Don’t bother with the money,” she sighed before her voice regained its cold composure, “I don’t care anymore.”

That was a little extreme, even coming from Yellow Diamond. Did she even care to begin with? Honestly Peridot did not expect her to say that. Strangely enough, the words did not sadden her. Maybe she was ready for them, preparing years just to hear this.

“What family?” Peridot blurted out, without thinking. After all, it had been only her and Yellow Diamond, with a few distant relatives they never talked to.

With that, the other line ended the call, and that was that.

“Peridot…” Lapis said worriedly, hand still on her leg. She rested her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“That was a more difficult conversation than I had anticipated,” spoke Peridot, unemotionally, almost robotically.

“Peridot, I heard everything.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

Lapis hugged her waist. “What can I do?”

“Don’t leave.”

“I was never planning on it.”

Peridot did not feel remorseful. Perhaps she had grieved over it long before. In the end, she gained her own freedom to live out her life. She did not care about the money anymore, and neither did her mother. Just like her father, Peridot knew she would be written out of her will and inheritance, and potentially even her last name. Yellow Diamond had the potential to act like that. 

But none of that happened. She never heard from her mother again.


	29. Mothers' Day Part 2

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Definitely.” Lapis parked her car outside the facility where her mother, Blue Diamond resided. “I made a promise I would visit her more often. And besides,” Lapis grazed Peridot’s cheek, “we’ve dated for over seven months already. I won’t be able to hide someone like you forever from her.”

This would mark as the second time Peridot would get to see Blue Diamond, this time fully conscious. “Are you sure she will be alright with, you know, us dating?”

“My mom’s always been more open minded. The mom I know shouldn’t care.”

Peridot hoped that would be the case.

Walking into the facility, Lapis went before Peridot up to the counter, where the receptionist was working. “Hi, I’m here to visit a family member during open hours.”

“What’s your family member’s name?”

“Blue Diamond.”

“I’ll tell staff to let her know you’re here. If you both could just sign here in the visitor book first, as well as on your way out, that would be wonderful.”

The blonde almost did not hear those words. She was too distracted by the bouquet of fake flowers on the counter, and making a positive impression in front of Blue Diamond. What would she think of her? She was dressed nicer than usual, though she kept her hair the same. On top of that, she and Lapis bought chocolate truffles for her. Chocolate always put people on a positive note, right?

It was going to be okay. No longer having any immediate family members, it was all more important to make sure Blue Diamond liked her. Peridot wished she was not an only child to begin with. If she had a father or siblings in her life, she would actually have family to share with her girlfriend. But no family was perfect, and Lapis definitely understood that.

“Are you okay,” Lapis looked over, holding Peridot’s hand.

“I’m fine,” she cleared her throat. “Though I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad nervous.”

“It will be fine. If I like you, she will have to as well. And like I said before, I’ve known her to have an open mind about these kinds of things. And if she hates you, the reason won’t be the fact you’re dating me.”

“Thanks for putting me at ease,” the shorter girl said sarcastically. But Lapis’ reaffirming words did help.

A staff member came for them, checking over their unwrapped gift of chocolates before Lapis’ leather messenger bag. “I have to make sure there’s nothing else in here,” the lady told them. “For the patient’s safety. Its standard protocol with any gift. I must add that any food brought to a patient must be consumed during the duration of the visit.”

“No worries, I’m glad you do,” responded Lapis.

“Blue Diamond’s awake and doing better this past month in particular. Lately she has taken to reading much more than usual. Alternatively reading out loud seems to help calm her, if her anxiety appears,” the staff member informed them.

“That’s good to hear. This facility really seems to take care of their patients,” Lapis relayed back, massaging her chin with her hand.

“We do our very best around here. If you follow me, the common room is in this direction. She should be waiting there.”

Walking down the wide hallway, Peridot could already tell this place was much cleaner than the one Blue Diamond used to reside at. Although, there was something about the building that made her mildly uncomfortable. It had nothing to do with how the hospital’s interior was decorated. Rather it stemmed from an internal feeling, with no rhyme or reason as to why. Perhaps it was her subconscious picking up some small detail. It was silly, really, when being in hospitals made her uneasy anyway.  

What was Lapis feeling anyway? Looking at her face, Peridot could not interpret. Her girlfriend’s facial features were expressionless.

Did Lapis really believe her mom would approve of them dating? Though Peridot wanted to hope for the positive outcome, she was seriously doubting what her girlfriend said was true.

The door opened to one of the common rooms, and the staff worker walked in first before leaving. “Blue Diamond, you have visitors.”

Lapis walked in front of Peridot, and directly to her mom who was lounging on the sofa with a book.

“It’s great to see you again,” Lapis took her mother’s hand. “You look good.”

“Oh stop lying,” Peridot could not tell if her mother was being sarcastic. It must run in the family. “I look just alright. Is everything going well for you?”

Lapis nodded. “Classes have started up again, and now there is summer break far in the future to look forward to,” she sighed. “I should tell you I’m looking for a new job. The bartending job just wasn’t meshing well with school.” Peridot knew that was not the reason behind why Lapis quit. But Lapis had told the blonde before, that her mother did not know the details of her job. Only that she was a bartender and worked very late.

“That’s too bad, I know you’ll find something just as exciting.”

_Yeah, exciting._

“And who is your friend?” Blue Diamond turned her head to make eye contact with Peridot.

“Mom,” Lapis sandwiched her mother’s hands with her own. “This is Peridot. And, well, she’s my girlfriend.”

The smile, if she would even call it that, dropped from Blue Diamond’s face. “Girlfriend you say.”

Peridot knew this would happen, that Blue Diamond would not approve. She totally called it in her mind, when her girlfriend said otherwise. She could feel her forehead become warm with nervousness.

“Hi, I’m glad to finally meet you,” Peridot stuck out her hand. The least she could do was be cordial on her end, though she was low-key terrified.

“Lapis,” Blue Diamond completely ignored the blonde. “Why did you bring her?”

“Well, she’s a big part of my life and though it would be fun if you two could finally meet.”

“Finally meet,” the older woman was processing everything with a blank stare. “You mean to say you’ve been dating for a while?”

“Um around six or seven months so far, has it really been that long?” She looked nervously over to Peridot for confirmation. Clearly the blue haired girl did not see this coming, and was trying to play it casual. In any other situation it would have worked.

“So you are attracted to women then.”

“I suppose that’s why Peridot and I are dating.”

“Let me ask you again,” Blue Diamond’s voice was shaking, “why did you bring her here to meet me?”

“I want to be open with you, so you could feel more involved in my life,” Lapis muttered softly. “I know that it must be weird to be living here, and for me to be gone all the time.”

But Blue Diamond’s older face turned pale. “You’re no different than her,” she whispered, “like Malachite.”

Even though they were not even looking at each other, Peridot could feel a wide range of emotions radiating off Lapis. Arms wrapped tightly around her own waist, Lapis was taken aback.

“What do you mean?” The blue haired girl said, too horrified by that comment to be sad or angry. Peridot could not even imagine being compared to a person that abused you.

“That _faggot_ was going out and hooking up with a new girl right and left. Look at what gays and lesbians did to her!” Blue Diamond croaked. “They brought her down that path, and that’s how she became an addict in the first place. That’s what homosexuality is. A dirty addiction, an illness, which destroyed our family. You have to see the direct correlation, it’s dead obvious. You always made better decisions than Malachite, and a nicer person than she was. I never imagined you would choose to go down that same route, and behind my back of all things.”

Lapis remained silent, and Peridot did not dare touch her.

_She must be aware her mom is not in her right mind, and is seriously mentally ill, right? She must understand that. She had to._

Little did she know herself, Peridot was allowing her own emotions to rile up inside.

“And now you’re telling me you’re dating this _blonde whore_ ,” Blue Diamond spat.

That was the tipping point for Lapis. 

“Don’t you dare call my _girlfriend_ that ever again,” Lapis raised her voice, pointing an intimidating finger at her mother, sitting straight up now on the sofa.

Tightly pursing her lips, every angry wrinkle could be seen on Blue Diamond’s face. “I will call her what I want, if it’s true.”

Lapis continued assertively, “She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Peridot is kind, smart, generous, and cares about people a lot. You would know that, if you were open to giving her a chance. And you better not bring Malachite into this, because my personal relationships have nothing to do with her at all. Malachite hurt me just as much as she hurt you, _mom._ She deeply hurt many people.”

“This has _everything_ to do with Malachite. I know what she was doing to you, and it was disgusting. No daughter of mine who’s sexually attracted to other women and into drugs is really my daughter.”

Hands partially covering her face, Lapis wiped tears from under her lids. “You… knew and you didn’t do anything?” The blue haired girl said weakly.

“I knew and…”

“Shut up!” Lapis yelled. It was the first time Peridot had heard Lapis yell like that, ever. Frankly it was terrifying. “No mother would ever let their child endure something like that! Why? Why didn’t you do anything?”

Peridot desperately wanted to hold on to Lapis, to let her cry on her shoulder. As she watched, the blonde did not realize her own eyes watering.

“No, I can’t accept this.” Lapis caught herself, let down her arms, stood up straighter. “Mother’s don’t stand by and watch their children be abused.”

“If you don’t break up with her now in front of me, I no longer have a daughter.” Blue Diamond looked enraged, sad, and vacant all at the same time. There was no word to describe her appearance besides “given up.”

Lapis looked at the floor, shutting her eyes and waiting a few moments. Was she truly considering breaking up with her?

“Then there’s no point in me visiting if you don’t want me. I won’t bother you again.” Without saying another word, the taller girl reached for Peridot’s hand, and walked them both out of the room.

“Wait just a second, don’t you think about leav-,” the door to the common room shut, and two staff members rushed in responding to the screaming, shortly after Lapis and Peridot exited the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all deserve the world, and two chapters. Thank you for being patient with my overworked self. First to Fall will have about three to five more chapters left. I promise, this story ends on a good note, even if these past two chapters did not. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading. :)


	30. Four-letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot reflects upon her feelings. Fortunately she's not alone.

It was just her and the woman sitting across, legs crossed, comfortably on the brown leather chair. Peridot felt herself inhale slowly. Even though today marked two months attending these sessions, they always felt strange. Uncomfortable.

In this space, Peridot became hyper aware of herself and her surroundings. Her hands were cold and a tad moist to the touch. The sofa cushions were firm and the pillows resting on each side were plush. The entirety of the room was warm and dark, most objects having green, brown, and red hues. The blinds on the window were closed, but Peridot did not mind that. Actually, she probably preferred it. Instead of the main overhead light, several lamps lit the room, casting a perfectly sufficient amount of light. It was unnervingly calming. The room was yelling at Peridot to start the conversation. Anything.

The person across from Peridot beat her to it. “What’s on your mind? You seem engulfed in something,” the docter said keenly, still yet lightheartedly, leaning to one side. Supporting the side of her head with one fingertip, she never broke eye contact.

Normally Peridot was perfectly fine with eye contact. But being in a room with only one person who she was still not too familiar with… Well, it felt strange.

A three months ago after their vacation, Peridot and Lapis mutually agreed it would be best to see counselors. They contemplated going together, but decided it was healthier if they went separately. At first, they were both unsure and skeptical about getting that kind of help. If Peridot was honest with herself, if it was not for Lapis, she would have never gone. But as much as they had each other, they were still in the process of healing. Neither Peridot nor Lapis wanted to depend detrimentally on the other at this time.

Fortunately, Beach City University had a well-renowned counseling center. Current students, with school ID, could book regular sessions for only twenty dollars. Even though Peridot could afford it either way, she wanted to do what was most flexible to their schedule.

It was something they did not talk much about. But after the first couple weeks, Peridot noticed visible positive changes in Lapis. Her girlfriend was always the more upbeat one, but somehow it started showing much brighter. Lapis’ dark under eye circles clearing up was the most noticeable detail. She was getting an adequate amount of sleep.

Peridot, on the other hand, was restless at night. When Lapis spent the night at her place, or vice versa, the blonde found herself falling asleep hours after her girlfriend had. There were nights she decided to give up and just work instead. She casually mentioned this to her counselor, who began keeping track of her daily habits.

Vidalia, her counselor, was in her late thirties and blonde like she was. Despite her casual attire, her hair and makeup was perfectly put together every forty five minute session. Secretly Peridot wondered if her counselor ever went through a rebel phase in college. Something about the woman gave off that vibe. The older woman was intelligent, no doubt about that, not too bad looking, quick-witted with words, and looked like she had experienced everything.

“It’s nothing,” Peridot returned to the present moment, averting her green eyes.

“Hmm, if you say so.” Based on her tone the counselor did not believe her, but Peridot knew she was not going to push her to say anything.

 _What the hell,_ Peridot thought. She was here paying this person to listen. She might as well talk.

“I was thinking about family,” Peridot gave in.

“Your mother?”

“Family in general. My mother, my father, what family means to me… I’m not sure”

“Not sure of what?”

It was these kinds of questions Peridot wished the counselor would skip over. “Not sure what family means to me.”

“That’s understandable. Very recently you were hurt very severely by your mother, and watched your girlfriend go through a similar situation. I would’ve been hurt too if I were in your shoes.”

“The hurt Lapis is dealing with is much greater than mine. I’d rather not compare my situation to hers.”

“Yet you both shared each other’s experiences, by being present when they happened. Why do you say what your girlfriend is going through is more significant?”

“Let’s see she has to deal with post trauma inflicted by her sister, quit a job she’s worked so hard at, support her mentally ill mother through thick and thin only to be disowned, I can keep going.”

“I believe you. But for some reason, I don’t entirely believe this is about Lapis. Otherwise I’d recommend she attend these sessions as well.”

They both knew that was not going to happen. Peridot let those words sink.

“I guess not,” Peridot crossed her arms.

The counselor continued, “Your emotions are just as valid as Lapis’. Whether or not she is going through more does not invalidate your feelings any less. Everyone responds to hurt differently.”  

“I know that!” She abruptly, frustrated. That all was obvious. What was this counselor trying to pull out of her anyway? But realizing she should not have snapped in the first place, she quickly retracted. “I just care about my girlfriend.”

The counselor moved her hand away from her face, sitting a little straighter. She appeared unfazed. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Peridot’s first instinct was to become defensive and say something snarky, like how she could say anything because she was the counselor. But her next instinct was to withhold from doing anything remotely immature. The two warring drives caused her to say nothing and stare.

“When was the last time you did something nice for yourself?”

Stammering, Peridot said, “Of course I care. I eat healthy enough, keep good hygiene, maintain a respectable GPA, and… Uh…” Peridot did not really know. “Well one time I went to the gas station late at night, when I was craving ice cream. Or last Sunday morning when I allowed myself to sleep in.” Granted she barely slept that night.

“Let’s say eating and sleeping are necessities, and that taking care of yourself doesn’t include other people.”

“Alright,” she would have mentioned the vacation, but Lapis, Pearl, and Blue went on that trip too. “Um, uh, there was one, no… Or maybe that time when, no, that doesn’t count…” Peridot talked as she thought.

“You need to treat yourself. Go get a massage, have a beach day, do something you enjoy outside of your work.”

“I… suppose that’s not a horrible idea,” Peridot softened, offering a smile.

“Taking care of yourself is a given, but, you already know that. The difficult part is making time for it. But before we get too off-topic, I want to go back to something you said; that you’re questioning what family really means to you. Can you expand on that thought so I have a clearer understanding?”

“Sure, but I really don’t know what to say.”

“Anything you want to, or nothing at all.”

Peridot breathed in before speaking, “Growing up as a kid, I always knew my mother to be cold and standoff-ish. That’s just the way things were, and I never seriously questioned it. I suppose I was too absorbed in my own activities to really care or pay it any attention. But whenever I went over to a classmates’ house, both of their parents were home and involved in their lives. So it seemed at least. That’s when I started to look at my own mom and think, why is my mom never home? Why does she never seem to care?”

She went on, “That was the point in time I began to resent her. She was never around, yet very constricting emotionally. If I wore something she did not like, she would go through my closet and throw it away. That happened to almost every article I liked, and my closet just became a hoard of dresses. At least I was able to pick the color. I never had social media growing up, because my mom saw too many problems with it and thought it was an unnecessary time-waster. She would always talk negatively about people I would try to hang out with. Even if it was something as small as their eye-contact or verbal communication skills. That’s why when I got the full-ride to Beach City University and she didn’t approve, I left anyway. And after I had that recent conversation with her, she pretty much confirmed that she doesn’t care about me anymore, that I’m lower than scum.”

“Were those her actual words?’ Vidalia said incredulously.

“No, but she did say I’m just like my quote-and-quote, good-for-nothing dad, who disappeared when I was young. I suppose it was meant to be an insult, but I wouldn’t know. I don’t remember him.”

“Have you ever tried to search for him?”

“Not really. I’ve never had any desire to. If he cared at all, he would have fought to take me with him.”

“That’s a lot of hurt, and built up feelings,” the counselor stated.

Peridot felt her voice waver. “But I have something better now, and a girlfriend I lo-… care very much about.”

She almost said “love,” almost admitted fully to her feelings. Why was she not able to? It was not like she was ashamed or embarrassed. But Peridot and Lapis had not exchanged “I love you-s”, even after over six months of dating. Knowing what Lapis went through, Peridot was too afraid to rush anything. What if she admitted her feelings to Lapis, and it was too soon? What if Lapis did not feel the same way? What if she was being used as a crutch? This brooding thought came up one other time, while they were on vacation. But she quickly dismissed it then. But being in a counseling appointment, it was expected of her to think about these tough thoughts.

The counselor did not interrogate Peridot on her sudden swap of words, though it was blatant what that word was. “You always speak so highly of her. Do you think you regard her, as well as your friends, family?”

“I live with some of my closest friends, and though we aren’t related, I know them better than I’ve ever known my biological family. Especially Lapis. I know her more than my mom by a light-year. So to answer your question, I’m not sure, but if I did have family, they would be it.”

“You seem to really love your girlfriend, the way your eyes light up when talking about her.”

Just kidding. Vidalia did bring the topic up after all.

A violent blush took Peridot’s cheeks. “Well that’s an interesting observation.”

“I’m so sorry,” Vidalia looked genuinely embarrassed. “Was I totally off?”

“No, not completely,” Peridot sighed, taking a sip of water from her small paper cup in hand. “We haven’t talked about it. I don’t want to push anything, with her especially all that she’s gone through. I want our relationship to be good.”

“Interesting,” the older woman wrote something down. “Have you talked about feelings towards each other? Are you on the same page?”

“Always. Up to this point everything has moved at a steady pace. I’m just lucky I haven’t done anything to scare her off, or make her think I’m desperate,” the younger girl laughed nervously.

“Somehow I doubt Lapis thinks you’re desperate, taking in the considerable amount of time you have been together.”

“Perhaps that was an exaggeration, you know what I mean.” Maybe the counselor did not understand, but Peridot could not figure out how to put her feelings into words. Vidalia seemed experienced at this, for the most part. Could she not use her skills and knowledge to figure out was she was thinking?

By the look of it she did not. Or maybe she did, but was trying to hear it from Peridot’s own mouth.

“Fine,” she threw her hands up, “I’m in love with Lapis, and fell for her since the beginning. Now what?”

“I can’t decide that for you. But it’s good that you mentioned something here, to process it. It sounds like bottling this up has created some anxiety. Any kind of love can be tricky to understand, especially when you haven’t received much of it growing up. But here, we can process those feelings as much or as little as you want to. I can’t tell you what to do, or how Lapis might respond if you shared that with her, but I do promise we can process together.”

It was strange. Peridot’s chest felt a bit lighter, and she began to breathe slower. Those words meant a lot to her, said right then in that way. Alhough she might not feel as upbeat like Lapis after counseling sessions, she would be able to navigate these kinds of things. Suddenly, these appointments became much more valuable.

After the five minute drive back home, she heated up some leftovers before going into her room. She plopped down into her expensive, black leather chair, opened up a notebook, and grabbed a pen. Maybe if she wrote what she wanted to say to Lapis, the words would flow from pen to paper more eloquently. But she kept getting stuck after the header and the sentence “I’ve been wanting to tell you this whole time…”

“Ah, this is no use!” She crinkled up her fourth attempt and threw it in the recycling bin, feeling like her hair was falling out. “I just need to not overthink it.” The thing was, Peridot wanted to have it be meaningful, like the time she asked Lapis to be her girlfriend. Even though it took time to gather her confidence, asking her out seemed possible. So why was there much more weight placed on this eventual conversation?

Moving over to her bed, Peridot curled under the sheets, succumbing to the counselor’s recommendation to take care of herself. _Extra sleep counted a little bit, right?_

Maybe Lapis would be the one to say she loved Peridot, and beat her to the conversation. Whatever the case, the blonde was determined to make it meaningful.


	31. Impulse Buy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Garnet spend a day hanging out.

“Wow, I can’t believe how long it’s been since we last hung out!” Peridot said brightly as she got into the passenger seat of Garnet’s car.

“Too long,” the older girl tuned the radio to the R&B station. “I apologize for not being around much, or missing out on the last few midnight diner runs. Work is a bit crazy. Sometimes I have to work over twelve hours a day.”

Peridot was too familiar with that kind of schedule, even though they had completely different professions. “Join the club. We’ve got energy drinks.”

“I thought you weren’t drinking those anymore,” Garnet smiled.

“Very funny. I’ve cut back to one a day, that’s reasonable right?”

They drove down the street to the main road. Their neighborhood was a sea of rambler houses and apartments. Intentionally planted trees lining each side of the road were beginning to grow new leaves. It was definitely spring. _Already?_

Peridot was going to graduate soon, and “soon” meaning that semester. It was an impossible concept to even imagine what it would be like not going to classes, not seeing half the regular people who showed up during the day. Ever since she started freshman year, Peridot could not care less. But now that her last year was ending, she was now starting to enjoy it despite all the more negative events.

She not only had a life now, she was actually living.

They planned to spend their afternoon at the huge outlet mall, which probably meant they would grab some food as well. Just as the thought passed the blonde’s mind, her stomach growled audibly which she patted.

Fortunately for them, they were quick to find a parking spot. The mall was unnaturally empty, it usually being twice as packed. Which meant no waiting in store lines.

“Do you mind going into this one store first?” Garnet asked. “There was a jacket I saw online with a tiger on the back,” and they still have it in stock here.

“Not at all, that jacket sounds awesome.”

Searching the first floor, Garnet finally found it in the men’s section. It had two tiger heads on the front, and one large stylized tiger on the back. Peridot held her coat as the taller girl tried it on for size. Turning around in a circle while looking in the thin mirror next to them, she landed on a pose, Garnet raised an eyebrow and asked, “How does it look?”

Peridot simply raised a thumb up, “Magnificent.” Even though the idea of the jacket sounded stupid at first, it actually looked really cool.

“That’s good to hear.”

“Do they have one in my size? I’m a small, so maybe the same for men’s sizing. Or an extra small.”

Garnet searched the rack, and at the very back pulled off a hanger. “You’re just in luck, the last small.”

“Yes!” Peridot pulled the jacket off fast, and tried it on over her hoodie. It was actually the most perfect article of clothing ever.

“Hey Garnet, do you want to be matching today?”

She gave the shorter, enthusiastic girl a closed mouth smile. “I was just going to ask you the same.”

When they walked out, they both had their new matching jackets on, wearing their sunglasses. Making stops into almost every store, they goofed around as they tried on different outfits. They also hit up the movie theatre, where tickets were half off that weekday. Peridot bought them both a large popcorn to share, which they ended up finishing before the movie actually started. By the end, they were both laughing and quoting the characters.

“You people have too much money,” Peridot quoted in a tiny, squeaky voice, before changing it back. “Yeah no kidding Sherlock!”

“It was a pretty cheesy movie, but the sarcasm made up for it.”

“That’s true for sure. I can’t believe the Richtons at the end. They were so proper and snobby all the way through the neighbor war, and then at the keg part they did a complete one eighty.”

“Definitely a hoot,” Garnet laughed, remembering. “But not a family I’d want to mess with.”

Suddenly a particular store caught Peridot’s attention. Her green eyes flashed passionately.

“Wait Garnet, wait a second. Hold up,” Peridot pulled back her friends arm as she peered into the glass window. “Let’s go in this jewelry shop.”

“I didn’t know you were into wearing jewelry,” Garnet poked a bit of fun at her.

But Peridot was in a much too serious mood to go along. They walked fast around the ritzy, expensive store beside the locked cases, full of sparkling jewels. It was definitely the dim lighting which made everything glimmer so brightly. Finally Peridot sighed. “I don’t see it.”

“Don’t see what?” The taller woman asked, very curiously.

Instead of responding directly, Peridot blushed and ran a hand through her shorter blonde hair. She turned around, looking for someone in the store who worked there.

“Hi, may I help you look for something?”

The sudden voice behind them made Peridot jump, taken by surprise. “Uh yes, actually. Where are your non-diamond rings?”

“Oh, they are right over here, if you want to follow me to the other side of the counter. Are you looking for someone in particular?”

Garnet looked at Peridot, as the blonde nodded furiously. “I’m looking for… my girlfriend.”

With narrowed eyes, the sales clerk leaned in towards her, the counter separating them. “Is this an engagement ring?”

Peridot looked at the clerk, then at Garnet with widened eyes, and then back at the clerk. Shit, what was she doing, what was she thinking? Was she insane?

“Yes, it is,” Peridot’s voice cracked.

Yes, she was insane.

Looking over, Garnet was covering her agape mouth with both hands, doing her best not to squeal in the store.

Breathing slowly, Peridot used one of the methods her counselor recommended to relieve anxiety. The moment was overwhelming. She had yet to even tell Lapis she loved her. What was she doing?

“Good, that can help narrow our search,” the clerk changed her mood from suspicious to bright. “Do you have a specific stone in mind, or any other specifics?”

“Perhaps a ring that does not have primarily a Diamond. It’s alright I suppose if there are small ones, but only as long as the other stone is more prominent.” There were a couple reasons why a diamond was not Peridot’s immediate choice. Firstly, it was Lapis’ mother’s name, and her own last name. Since they were both renounced by their mothers, it was probably safer to choose something which had no relation. Secondly, Peridot knew what Lapis’ favorite stone was, weirdly enough. It was an opal. It was not as sparkly as a diamond, but it was much classier.

But she wanted to look first at their selection.

The clerk showed Peridot and Garnet their most current line of rings. But nothing looked right. Peridot wanted to be confident Lapis would love the ring. This was all happening so suddenly. Before this moment, Peridot had not even thought about engagement rings. All this time, she was so unsure of how fast to move with Lapis.

But was she really?

Maybe she would get more precise with ring specifics. “Do you have any gold rings with opals?”

“We have a couple over here on the other side,” they went around once again. “This is currently all we have in stock. Opals seem to go by fairly quickly.”

Observing inside the perfectly lit up case, one ring immediately caught the blonde’s eye. “Can I see that one?” She pointed enthusiastically.

Garnet gasped, “It’s so beautiful.”

Indeed it was.

The lady helping them opened the case to pick it out, and present it to them. It was an art-deco styled ring, with two oval opals and two round lapis lazuli’s forming a diamond shape. The diamond shape was not too explicit however. The opals were laid on each side, and the lazuli’s on the top and bottom. The band was made out of gold, ten karat from the weight of it. In the center was a petite, round diamond.

This was it, _the_ ring.

“How much is it,” Peridot said immediately.

“It says right over here. If you plan to purchase it, you can pay all at once, or in installments.”

“I believe I’m ready.”

To her side, Garnet was having the time of her life watching her. The older woman’s face was beaming with joy for her roommate.

Peridot’s own heart was racing. She knew she was jumping into a big decision when she first walked into the store. But she could not ever imagine her life without Lapis, or ever breaking up. Their relationship seemed to continuously head in the positive, healthy direction. Maybe her heart was racing from anxiety. But it was also doing so because of excitement, and because she loved Lapis so deeply.

The ring was just under the thousand dollar range. But by its make and craftsmanship, Peridot could tell why. Paying for it all up front, she also made sure to get it insured. The clerk proceeded to put it carefully in a navy blue velvet box, and wrap it as a gift.

The lady who help them handed the small bag to Peridot and said, “Good luck with your proposal.” She also gave an obvious wink.

“Thanks, I’ll need it,” Peridot massaged the back of her neck with an available hand.

As soon as they walked out of the store, Garnet surprised Peridot by picking her up, and swinging her around in circles. “I am so happy for you and Lapis!” She put the smaller, dazed girl down, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you for letting me be a part of this amazing moment. I can tell, Lapis is going to love that ring. Anyone would. You have great taste Peridot.”

“I try,” she blew on her finger nails like she was trying them. “I hope she will,” the blonde became serious again. “As far as proposing goes, I don’t really have a plan yet. Honestly, it was an impulse buy.”

“If you need help coming up with a plan, I would be more than happy to brainstorm with you.”

“I may just take you up on that,” Peridot smiled, feeling especially grateful for her friend.

The rest of the day, they delved deeper into different ideas and how they would be carried out. By the time they left the outlet mall, Garnet bought a brand new outfit and a novel she was dying to get.

Once they got home in the evening, Peridot hopped into the shower, taking a little longer than normal. She was going to relax. She needed it, she deserved it. She made herself a pot of tea, heated a hot water bottle, and put on some shorts and a tank top before crawling into bed.

Before she shut her eyes to go to sleep, she turned her phone on to display the screen. No texts. Opening up her messages, she composed a new text.

_Hey Lapis, I’m going to sleep soon, but was thinking of you all day._

No more than a second had passed when Lapis responded back.

_Same here, my appointment went well, but it was long. I wish we could spend every day together._

Those words echoed in Peridot’s head. “Me too Lapis, me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an example of the ring Peridot was describing:
> 
> https://www.etsy.com/listing/247577524/vintage-opal-engagement-ring-art-deco?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=wedding%20ring%20lapis&ref=sr_gallery_36


	32. The Party (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the college fraternities holds a "fundraising" party, which Peridot and Lapis go.

“So explain to me again why the largest fraternity on campus is having their biggest party ever tonight?” Peridot crossed her arms while one hand massaged both corners of her mouth.

“Something to do with fundraising, I’m not sure on all the details though. No one seems to.”

“Fundraising?” Peridot put the word in air quotes. “That fraternity doesn’t do anything for the community, unlike the others.”

“Yeah that’s what I’m thinking to. Either way, we’re going.”

“What? Why?” Peridot said confused. It’s not like hanging out with the campus fraternities and sororities was exactly her thing. Or Lapis’ thing either.

“Because I promised one of my friends I’d show up,” Lapis sighed. “Since I’ve had to reschedule with her so many times already, I don’t want her to think I’m avoiding her. She put both hands on Peridot’s shoulders and shook them. “I can’t be a flake to my friends!”

“I promise you aren’t I swear!”

Lapis released her grip on Peridot and put a hand up to her forehead. “We both have been so busy with school these days, with finals coming up in another month. It’s been difficult to focus on anything else. We both can’t be pushing our friends or our own lives to the side.”

Peridot knew exactly what she meant. This last month and a half, all they were doing these days was studying together. In between classes, Peridot found time to catch up on her freelance work, but the long nights staying up often took a toll on her motivation. Energy drinks were beginning to have zero effect.

These days she was not seeing much of her own housemates either. Usually she and Lapis would be at one of three places: the school library, the local 24 hour diner, or Lapis’ house since it was usually vacant of roommates as well.

Poor Lapis. These days she was studying just as hard as Peridot, while trying to find a new job. But it was hard to find a decent paying job which was willing to hire part time. Peridot helped her search online for job postings, keeping track of everywhere she applied to. But it was becoming too stressful for Lapis. Though the blue haired girl never outwardly appeared stressed, Peridot could tell from little details, like the way she smiled or how her eyelids drooped.

At least there was a silver lining to it, which they were in this together. Still, it just never seemed to end.

Peridot day dreamed of graduation, how she would walk off that stage and commit her time to freelancing, instead of splitting it up. That day was arriving soon. But she and Lapis were not graduating the same semester. Lapis had one more year after her.

Ever since she purchased the ring for Lapis, she contemplated when she would propose. The whole thought gave her goosebumps. Her own graduation? No, Lapis still had a year more of school, and adding that pressure would not be fair. She decided to put the ring away, hidden, and save it for one more year. She would propose to Lapis when they both graduated. And if they were going to be together, what was one more year of waiting anyway? But even so, she wished it was realistic to propose sooner.

Peridot agreed to go to this fraternity “fundraising” party, but was not enthusiastic about it.

Later that night, she and Lapis drove there with Garnet and Pearl. Jasper and Amethyst said they would go separately. Somehow, it seemed like everyone was going to the stupid party. It was part of the school’s culture to throw on huge, raging fraternity parties. And if this fraternity in particular was having one, everyone would know about it. The stories that came out of those nights ranged from horrible to insane. Like that one time the fraternity house caught on fire, or how a group of a hundred students decided to elope and fly to Light City. Peridot could practically taste the next, inevitable exploit.

The moment her foot stepped out of a car, some kid threw a half drunken beer near her feet.

“Hey watch it!” Peridot exclaimed at no one in particular. “Ugh. Lapis, it’s a sign.”

“At least it didn’t get on your shoes,” the blue haired girl followed Peridot out of Garnet’s car. “I’m sure whoever threw the can didn’t mean it.”

“Mmhm,” the blonde hummed. “So where did you say your friend was?”

“She’s not here yet,” Lapis shut the car door. “Said she’ll probably be late.”

Peridot looked over at Garnet and Pearl. _What made them want to come anyway?_ Knowing Garnet, she would find a few beers, and find a place in the house to chill low-key. Pearl? Well, maybe she was meeting someone too, like Lapis.

Within the first seconds of stepping inside, the place was visibly a mess. The lights were off with only strobe lights flashing, which blinded Peridot even though she was wearing contacts tonight. The living room was filled with people raving, which just looked like a giant mosh pit. There were people playing extreme beer games in the kitchen, and even one guy already passed out this early on the couch.

“Well then,” Garnet said, closing the fridge with a beer in each hand. “I think I’ll just go outside to sit for a bit.”  

“We’ll probably be right out,” Pearl replied, still searching one of the coolers.

“Hey Peridot,” Lapis was behind the blonde.

“What’s up Laz-,” with quick reflexes, she fumbled to catch the can, thrown at her. It was ice cold.

“Nice catch Peri! Have a cider!” Lapis pulled back the can tab and took a large swig from her drink.

Copying her girlfriend, Peridot braced herself for a strong alcohol taste. Truthfully, she was too embarrassed to admit she had never tasted hard cider before. But to her surprise, it tasted like no other drink she had experienced. It actually was good. The short, blonde haired girl raised her can in a “thank you” gesture and grinned.

By the time Peridot and Lapis finished their fourth (or was it fifth) cider, they were starting to feel pretty good. Even though there was still plenty of beer, most of the hard liquor and all of the cider had run out. Lapis was consumed watching some beer pong championship thing, while Peridot’s mind was too glazed and distracted to watch. Looking down, the blonde realized she was holding hands with Lapis, their fingers intertwined. She did not know why that was so funny. But that drunken feeling drifted away after her eyes trailed up to the taller girl’s face. Lapis looked so attractive when her violet eyes focused like that.

“You!”

Some random frat guy was pointing at her.

“Me?” Peridot pointed towards her own chest, before looking left and right. The room was full here, and she did not know the guy. He must be calling out someone else.

“Yes, you!”

_Just kidding._

He continued, “I challenge you to play beer pong!” His speech was a bit sloppy. But then again, so was her own.

“Uh, I don’t know about that,” Peridot hesitated.

“You should just do it!” Lapis pushed her encouragingly forward towards the table. The beer cups were being filled up again.

“If you don’t want to, your pretty friend is always welcome to take your place.”

Aw hell no. No guy was going to talk about her girlfriend like that. “Fine!” Peridot tossed her sixth can into the recycling. She would defend her girlfriend’s honor! Or something like that.

“Aw Peri,” Lapis responded, googly-eyed and fond, both hands almost covering her mouth.

Forcefully she grabbed the paddle from the table, stood sideways, and pointed it at the meat-head frat guy. “It’s on!”

The crowd of people around them cheered. Peridot could make out Garnet and Pearl both watching her as well. Kicking his ass would be a piece of cake. Or she thought.

Perhaps if she had one cider or so, it would not have been so difficult to keep the ball from jumping off the table. Even though she was winning this early on, the game challenged her senses on a whole new level. The score remained pretty much tied by the middle of the game, and both players were getting fired up. There was no way she was going to let this trashy guy win.

“This game is getting way too intense,” Lapis slurred to Garnet and Pearl, over on the side.

By the end, both players had consumed the beer in over half their glasses. Peridot did not know how much she had to drink so far, but it might have been too much. She was beginning to regret her decisions.

“Ugh I don’t really feel good,” the short girl swung the paddle to hit the ball back, using a back hand. She did not feel like she was about to throw up. Rather her head was aching and could not focus. But it appeared the other guy across the table was in a much worse state. Her serve was so strong, that the frat guy became dizzy by over-focusing on it, and fell to the floor.

“We have a winner!” Another frat guy with darker skin raised Peridot’s arm in the air. She was not used to having this much attention, but she felt proud for some odd reason.

“Oh Peridot, I knew you could do it!” Lapis drunkenly fell into her girlfriend, wrapping her graceful arms around Peridot’s waist. “Seeing you so intense and passionate like that,” the tan girl whispered so no one could hear, “it’s such a turn on.”

“Do you want to see more of that tonight?” What had come over herself? Usually she was never this forward.

At first startled, Lapis moved a blonde strand of hair over Peridot’s pale forehead before winking. A definite yes.

“The keg is here!” voices boomed through the room, coming from the backyard. New red cups with drinks were already being passed around.

“Hey I’ll be right back, I need to find a bathroom,” Lapis said quickly.

“No worries,” Peridot replied as her girlfriend grazed her arm before hurrying off. As soon as she disappeared, a cup was shoved into her hand magically by a random stranger.

She took a sip out of it, her mind on autopilot. It was just cheap beer, nothing too fancy or special.

 _Now, where is Garnet?_ Peridot thought. _Probably outside again. Maybe Amethyst and Jasper are there too._

Before she could move in that direction, her other roommate’s voice called out to her.

“Hey Peridot?” It was Pearl, who placed a firm hand on her shoulder. Peridot completely forgot her friend was still inside. In the past twenty minutes, the house became even more crowded and trashed.

“Oh Pearl, how’s your evening going?” Peridot said happily, though the words sloppily fell out of her mouth. The blonde suddenly became aware of her head dizziness again, which came back much stronger. But she ignored it.

Pearl looked away, “Can we talk? Somewhere alone?”

“Sure thing,” Peridot said, unquestionably cheerful. Her housemate needed a friend to talk to, and she was more than happy to help. Along with that, Peridot was more than happy to find a place to sit or rest upon. A wall or table perhaps.

Pearl’s face became red out of nervousness. Clearly, whatever she needed to talk about, it was important. “O-okay,” she grabbed Peridot’s hand, pulled her out of the loud, crowded room, and down the hallway.

The moment happened so fast, it never clicked in Peridot’s paling mind what Pearl needed to talk about, if there was anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready.


	33. The Party (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell breaks loose.

Pearl plopped down on the queen sized bed, her thin body sprawled out on the mattress. Peridot followed, sitting upright, and crossing her legs. No one was in here besides them in the small room. Whatever was happening to her head was causing her to feel sick. Not the throwing up kind of sick, but the type where someone faints from lightheadedness. It could just be the dim lighting. Thoughts beginning to dissipate, the blonde needed to rest her head against something.

Anything.

Falling backwards, she laid face up on the bed. It felt nice, comfier than usual. Did the ceiling always look this yellow and spin this much? Closing her eyes was the only solution to bring some limited relief.

Wait, there was a reason she was here in the first place.

_Oh yeah, Pearl._

Her roommate’s pink hair appeared a redder hue than usual. Was it the dim lighting? Sitting on her side with both arms to support, Pearl was faced towards her, watching her.

They were both terribly close to one another.

_That’s right. There was something she wanted to tell me._

Peridot did not roll over to her side. If she did, the blonde would surely pass out. Opening her mouth, she spoke words even her mind could not process. The nature of it was a question, and Pearl seemed to understand. Even if her mental capacity for assembling sentences was thrown out the window, at least she was still cohesive.

Pearl’s delicate hand was playing with her own, Peridot realized. For how long? Three minutes could have passed since she plopped on the bed, or three hours. At this point there was no telling. Never before did time tick by so slowly.

Saying something under her breath, Pearl rolled over on top of Peridot. Immediately Pearl held both of her wrists down by her head. Like she was even able to push her off and walk out in the first place. Nothing was processing.

_What is going on? Why is Pearl above me?_

Only basal thoughts were allowed to enter her head. As much as she struggled to understand, nothing clicked. Only actions by the girl on top of her seemed to bypass the confusion. What’s worse, she could not make herself move, even if she was not held down. Her nerves were disconnecting from her muscles. Her body was no longer obeying her mind. Was she _dying?_

The pale face above her gave a white-ish glow. Peridot could no longer distinguish her housemate’s features. Instead some other girl, maybe an angel, was shedding off her skin. It took longer for Peridot to comprehend the figure’s face was madly pressed on her own. She did not feel it. The blonde also never felt the subject taking off her own clothes, first her shirt, then her pants.

Fading.

She was fading away. As much as she tried keeping her eyes open, her vision persisted to glaze over. The obscure room was darkening, shadows creeping up from each corner, silhouetting her vision. They were frightening, yet she welcomed it. Wanting the freedom to breathe, her own inhales were sapped away by greedy lips. And why.

Was she dying?

Why.

It was her last thought. Peridot sunk in the blackness which succeeded to engulf her. It was odd. She felt nothing, and everything. But mostly anything. Vision did not exist, along with the rest of her physicality. What was the meaning? What was her meaning? Thoughts departed long ago. Peridot only felt a sense of being, of her own existence. Other than that, nothing.

Just as fast as she fell into a mindless abyss, her mind was brought back. The world was re-creating itself.  In a snap, her vision was back, albeit still hazy. She was no longer on the bed, but held firmly inside familiar arms.

There was screaming. Where was it coming from? Wherever the source might be, it was creeping at a crescendo.

Next, her full hearing returned. The screaming was originating from somewhere closeby. Her world was becoming recognizable again. Lungs sore and clenching, she gasped for oxygen.

“You need water.”

Were those words?

The blonde felt a shuffling, and a bottle of clear liquid was handed to her. Absentmindedly Peridot brought it to her lips. There was nothing else in the world which could have tasted better then.

Those arms never let go of their strong hold. She never wanted them to either.

All of Peridot’s senses were returning, although still weak. Her head was already pressed into the neck of someone she knew very well. The scent of flowers wafted up her nose, a smell which she could always relax around. Violet eyes were gazing at her protectively.

In a flash, the smaller girl whipped both hands out and over her mouth. She was the one who was screaming bloody murder.

“Garnet, I think she’s coming back!”

“Good job Lapis. Make sure she doesn’t fall back into…” It was hard to hear what the driver was saying. Driver. She was in a car, Peridot came to understand.

The blonde began to weep. There was no emotion behind it, only her body’s impulse. As if a brick wall stood in front of her, blocking her cognitive senses, she desperately needed to find a way around.

Lapis wiped away the tears from her cheeks, reassuring her. “It’s okay, we got away. We’re not at the party anymore. Everything’s going to be alright. I’m here.”

Even though Peridot managed to control her anxiety fairly well, it was back full force. Completely helpless to it, she gave in to her biggest fear. “Promise you won’t leave,” she trembled, feeling as if something else was possessing her to speak words.

Taking both of her shoulders, Lapis looked her dead in the eye, as confident as could be. “Never.”

This made Peridot sob even more. If she was in the right mind, she would have laughed at herself. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation from Lapis.

“We’re here,” Garnet interrupted.

“Huh?” Peridot said obliviously. She looked out the car. Garnet’s car was parked outside an empty parking lot of a fast food joint. When did they get here?

“There are things the three of us need to talk about,” Garnet explained.

Peridot understood. Sentences seemingly with no meaning were almost unjumbled. She nodded in response, and Lapis embraced her tighter.

“That party was a hot mess,” Lapis said angrily.

“Agreed. But first of all, I want to apologize to you, and especially Peridot. She endured the worst of it.”

The blue haired girl was silent for a second in thought. “None of this was your fault.”

“I was the designated driver tonight and took it upon myself to watch you two, as well as Pearl, Amethyst, and Jasper. I never expected that to happen, or for Pearl to act that way. I should have kept a closer eye.”

“You’re not responsible for Pearl’s actions,” her girlfriend said frustrated. “She was the one who made the decision to _fuck my girlfriend_!”

“But she was also drugged,” Garnet argued.

“What?” Lapis was startled.

“I saw her go for the keg, the same one Peridot drank from, as well as Amethyst and Jasper. Some… _asshole_ spiked it with some date rape drug.” It was the first time Peridot heard Garnet swear. It did not fit her.

“How do you know it was that keg?”

Garnet held up her finely manicured hand, showing off her glossy maroon nails. Except one of them was black. “I always put on this nail polish. If you dip a finger in, the color will change if your drink is spiked. I like to prepare for the worst, just in case.” 

“And that’s why you stopped me.”

“Yes. And only a couple others. I wish I could have helped Peridot in time.”

“You helped us in a different way. If you hadn’t been around to help us get away, we would have been trapped at the party with cops storming the place.”

“Again, I’m always prepared for the worst. Although for this party, it was probably for the best they did.”

“Do you think the others are going to be alright?”

Peridot coughed, unintentionally interrupting them.

“Sadie was also a designated driver, and came with Lars. I told her in time to take Pearl, Amethyst, and Jasper, if she could find them. Even though Pearl drove, she likely made it out with Sadie and Lars. I’m not sure about the other two.”

“So Pearl was drugged too,” Lapis paused.

“At least it appeared to be the case. I noticed her acting weird after you gave her that, beautiful if I might add, hook to the face.”

Peridot held Lapis’ hand tighter.

“I can’t be mad at her,” Lapis said, as if she was talking to herself. “It… wouldn’t be right.”

“She likely couldn’t even control her own actions towards Peridot in those moments.”

“But I’m still angry. At her.”

“And that’s still understandable.”

“I still want to punch her.”

“That’s also an understandable response.”

“You probably think I’m a bitch, for wanting that.”

“Not in the slightest,” Garnet threw back, giving a deep sigh. “Honestly I’m angry too. Peridot’s my friend as well.”

They were both talking about her as if she was not there. But on the other hand, maybe she was not. “I don’t understand.” Peridot repeated.

They both looked at her, Garnet with sad, dark eyes. “You’ll be alright,” she said calmly.

“Do you think,” Lapis began speaking to Garnet, “it was rape?”

“In this case, they were not only drunk, but drugged. Pearl… I want to believe Pearl had no idea what she was doing. She would never do something like that if she wasn’t. But it still was involuntary,” she trailed off.

“What if Pearl’s conscience was partially there?”

“I don’t know,” a fast tear slipped off her cheek. “Pearl’s not only my roommate, but one of my closest friends. I wish I knew.”

The blonde had never seen the older woman cry in her life.

Lapis spoke slowly. “Both Peridot and I have been regularly seeing counselors, separately. We’ll talk to them about it.” Peridot felt Lapis bury her face into her hair. “Lately we’ve constantly had to navigate new issues popping up right and left. But we want to work everything out together, no matter what it takes.”

Peridot now felt her emotions creeping back. “Lapis, hold me.”

“I am holding you, nerd,” her girlfriend choked out a laugh.

“Oh.” She nuzzled further into her girlfriend, realizing a certain soreness.

“So what happens next?” The blue hair girl said quietly.

“I texted Sadie to meet up somewhere, like here or the diner,” Garnet was checking her phone again. “New message, she said that works.”

“Are they all with her?” Peridot heard Lapis say.

Garnet typed and sent another message, and she received an almost instant reply.

“Only Lars,” Garnet sadly said. “Also said she’ll explain. Are you alright with meeting up, just for a few minutes? I would like to make sure they’re alright. Will you and Peridot be okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. We should check in with them.”

“I’ll tell Sadie to drive and meet us here in the parking lot.”

Lapis and Garnet discussed more back and forth, and Peridot felt lost. She was hearing and processing some words, but others flew right by. Other times her mind would still blank out and snap back, like a light turning on and off.

She had no idea when Sadie and Lars appeared outside the car. When did that occur? Her door was now open, but Lapis was still with her. She did not want to move. Peridot listened to the conversation between the four.

“And then I noticed Lars was acting weirder than usual. That’s when I realized something was wrong, not only with him, but everyone around us,” Sadie was holding his hand.

“I feel awful, but not as awful as Peridot, probably,” Lars muttered. “She stopped me after I had a small sip. For about an hour I was pretty gone, but it gets better once you start to come back. I’m just glad I wasn’t one of those frat boys chugging the thing.”

“Who knows what happened to them,” Sadie joked, trying to make light of a horrible situation.

“Probably the cops,” Lapis answered sarcastically.

“You two left after we did,” Garnet began. “What happened?”

Sadie began, “We saw Pearl, but she was so out of it and distraught that she ran out. Stumbling around if I might add. We tried looking for her again, but she was nowhere around. She must have left the party, while we were trying to drag Amethyst and Jasper away.”

“Pearl was conscious?” Garnet clarified.

“She didn’t quite seem all there, but she was reacting similar to Lars, which makes me think she was drugged as well.”

“What happened with Jasper and Amethyst?”

“Well I was literally _dragging_ them out of the party. They could barely move. And of course Lars couldn’t help. This time, with an acceptable explanation. We were a block away from my car dragging those two, when we started hearing the sirens.”

“So we dumped them behind the bushes and ran,” Lars interrupted. 

“To summarize, yes. We concealed them far enough away from the party, where the police wouldn’t look. We wouldn’t have gotten away if we had not,” Sadie justified.

“They’ll be fine,” Lars added, fanning his hand out.

“What the…” Lapis trailed off.

Garnet replied with a sigh, “I’ll go back for them as well as look for Pearl. It’s best not to take the risk of leaving them there. But first, we need to get you two home,” she turned to Lapis who was holding Peridot. “If it’s alright with you Lapis, I’ll drop you both off at your house. You won’t want to be around the Temple when the others are back. It will be pretty intense.”

The blue haired girl replied with a nod.

Continuing, Garnet said, “You should go home and take care of Lars, Sadie. Don’t worry about the others.”

“But you’ll need a hand, right? You can’t just take care of three drugged and drunk people by themselves. I’ll go back with Lars to drop him off at his apartment, and meet you at the Temple. We can go from there. Does that sound good to you?” Sadie turned to Lars, who nodded and yawned in response.

Garnet smiled, “Thank you, I appreciate you offering.” Everyone began returning to their cars. Text me when you’re on your way, or if you can.”

“See you in about half an hour,” Sadie called out of the car door, before driving off.

In no time, Garnet drove Lapis and Peridot back home to Lapis’ place. Feeling her girlfriend pull her out of the car, she obediently followed.

“Thank you again, Garnet,” Lapis said with her door still open.

“You don’t need to thank me. You would have done the same.”

Looking down at the ground, she hesitated a bit. “I don’t ever think I apologized to you for being so rude the first day we met.”

“What do you mean? I didn’t think you were rude at all, just shy.”

“I knew you were a good person from the beginning, but because I saw you before at the club with Amy and Jasper, I didn’t believe it. And I felt a bit left out, knowing Peridot and you all lived together at the Temple. I felt like I was on the outside and for that reason I was jealous. But I allowed myself to feel that way, so for those reasons I want to apologize.”

“Well if it eases your mind, apology accepted.”

Lapis held Peridot tighter in her arms before leading the shorter girl into the house. Dropping their belongings on Lapis’ bed, the blonde was guided to the bathroom. Leaning over, Lapis turned the tub faucet to lukewarm, and started taking off Peridot’s clothes.

“Wha…” The shorter girl began to say, unknowingly raising her arms to make the shirt glide off easier.

“You’re sweating all over. We need to regulate your body temperature.”

Immediately Peridot felt relief when she stepped into the bath, with help from Lapis. She did not even know she was sweating in the first place, until Lapis had mentioned it and Peridot wiped her forehead. Sitting down with legs crossed, she let her girlfriend take a damp cloth and wash her.

“It might be a good idea to sit in here for a bit,” began Lapis. Leaning over, she pressed her forehead on Peridot’s own.

“I still can’t believe Pearl,” Lapis whispered, Peridot could feel her breath. “How could she do that to you? I thought she was our friend. It looks like none of us really know Pearl after all. I… I should have seen it coming. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to stop it earlier Peridot.”

Blue locks fell in front of Peridot’s face, and she swept them away. Lapis tenderly kissed her pale forehead.

“I love you, Peridot.”

The blonde immediately kissed her lips. Those words made up the first sentence she understood.

“I love you too,” she hummed back.

By the time they curled up in bed, Lapis’ flashing alarm clock said three am. When it turned six in the morning, they were rudely woken up by her cell phone.

Peridot’s eyes felt like they were held shut by some unknown force. She did not bother opening them, and remained in a half-asleep state. In the background, she could hear her beautiful girlfriend’s voice lull her.

“What’s wrong Garnet? What happened?”

The blonde was almost asleep again.

“What do you mean Pearl’s in the emergency room?”

Her eyes opened wide. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be commenting on these last few posted chapters at the end of the story.


	34. The End of a Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot, Amethyst, and Jasper graduate.

“Come on P, hurry up!”

“Just a second!”

The whole day Amethyst was practically bouncing off the walls. “I just can’t believe it, that today’s the day you, Jasper, and I graduate!” She plopped down on Peridot’s neatly made bed. “It just feels so surreal, ‘ya know?”

“Yeah I know,” Peridot saved a draft on one of her emails, and hit send on the other she typed out to her client.

Honestly with everything going on, she submerged herself in her classwork and freelance work. Maybe it was to avoid thinking about graduation. Originally, she was excited for it as well, looking forward to every nearing day. But as the day got closer, the blonde realized along with graduating, her life might change not in the way she wanted it to. It was those “what if” thoughts that plagued her nights. She was self-aware enough now, thanks to the counselor, to realize she intentionally distracted herself during times of building anxiety. Though in some cases it was a good coping mechanism, it was not good to keep things in.

“Actually Amethyst, I thought I would be more excited,” Peridot began. “But for the first time in my life, I’m not sure if I want to move on to the next chapter.”

Peridot saw another side of her roommate she had never seen before. Amethyst became serious.

“I think I understand, and feel the same way you do actually. I mean, I’m getting this degree that I’ve been slaving away for, for the past few years. And tomorrow it will all be over with, and then it’s now what do I do? You know what I mean? Like I have to find a job against all the other competition that will be graduating this year. It’s just…”

“A lot to take in,” they both said at once. They looked at each other, and laughed.

“Aw look at us, a bunch of saps,” Amethyst slapped her leg. “It’s not like everything is going to change. If Jasper were getting ready here too, she would be making fun of us.”

“That sounds about right.”

“Speaking of which,” the platinum blonde started, “isn’t your girlfriend coming over here before the ceremony?”

“Actually, Lapis said she would meet us after the ceremony, right outside the gym.” For the first time in years, graduation was taking place inside the gym instead of on the field, outside the administration and library buildings. Peridot wondered if the space was capable of packing everyone inside. For good measure, she texted Lapis that morning to arrive a little early.

 _Of course! I’ll be there blowing the vuvuzela horn when they call your name on stage!_ Lapis texted her immediately back.

 _Hey you’re not serious about that right?_ Peridot typed quickly on her phone. _I don’t think you even own a vuvuzela…_

 _Don’t worry, I’m just kidding! But you better believe I’ll be up there cheering for you._ Lapis ended her message with a smiley face emoticon.

“Oh wait,” Amethyst interrupted Peridot’s thoughts as her phone went off, “Jasper just pulled up! Looks like it’s time to go.” A car honked loudly twice outside their house. Man, that horn sound was obnoxious.

But as she and her housemate were running outside, Peridot stopped in her tracks at the front door.

Amethyst turned around confused, “What’s wrong?”

At first glance, it would seem the blonde girl standing at the front door, in her black graduation robe, was lost. Her gaze pointed up towards the sky, at nothing in particular. But as the clouds revealed the sun, its light revealed the fire in her emerald eyes.

“I’ll be right back, there’s one thing I need to get!” Peridot rushed into the house again.

“Well, be quick! The practice ceremony starts in fifteen minutes,” her housemate yelled from Jasper’s car, hugging her cousin in the process.

Only two minutes passed when Peridot slammed the car door and buckled her seatbelt. “Ready!”

“Hello to you too,” Jasper replied as she hit the gas.

Peridot smiled, as she played with the round object in her right pocket.

Looks like in the end, she gave up waiting. This whole time she did her best to be patient, but guessed it did not fit her after all.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

The three of them made it barely on time. They technically were not late, even though they had to squish through the crowd. Having graduation in the gym was going to be a bad idea. Peridot could tell. If it was this warm already, she could only imagine what it would be like with everyone and their mother.

“Good thing our seats come with water bottles,” Jasper threw an extra towards Peridot across the row. Fumbling she managed to catch the bottle and quickly chug half of it.

“Looks like we’re sitting next to each other!” Someone tapped Peridot’s shoulder, and the short haired girl turned to look towards her right.

First instinct, Peridot wanted to ask who she was again, but it might not be the most tactful thing to say at graduation. Either way, she felt embarrassed for not knowing who the girl was all this time. For all she knew, they could have taken several classes together. “Yeah, looks like we are!”

Adjusting the cap on her head, Peridot looked around at the rest of her graduating major. It was only she and the girl sitting on her right, who were the only women in their major graduating. She could tell by the different color tassels they wore. Which reminded her she still needed to wear her cord.

Pulling it out of her left pocket, she wrapped the white and gold embellished cord around her neck.

“You’re graduating with summa cum laude?” The girl exclaimed next to her. “Isn’t that impossible with our major?”

Peridot didn’t want it to be ultra-noticeable, or flash it around her roommates, but she had worked hard her whole college career. She felt like that deserved at least a little recognition, and nodded back. If she could recall correctly, Garnet graduated with a similar honor.

Her other housemate was working earlier that day, and promised to visit Pearl at the hospital. But vowed she would be there. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” Peridot recited Garnet’s words in her head. Just the way the older girl said it was meaningful to Peridot.

Even after hearing how Pearl was in the hospital, Peridot and Lapis still waited to visit her. They talked about what happened that night, which the blonde did not remember. _Probably for the best._

Lapis explained once more what Pearl did and exactly what happened after, which made Peridot feel sick to her stomach.

“I can’t forgive her right now,” Peridot remembered saying to her girlfriend, crossing her arms protectively, and looking away.

“Neither can I, even if she’s in the hospital.”

“So what should we do?”

“I guess process it first together, and talk it over with our counselors. That’s all I can really think of.”

Peridot went in to hug Lapis, who looked defeated. “Me too.”

Back to reality, it looked like the ceremony was about to start. _Was Lapis here, watching her from the stands?_

Peeking her head above the sea of black caps and colored tassels, Peridot scouted the bleachers. No Lapis in sight. But she did spot Garnet, who was sitting with Lars and Sadie. _That’s right, those two were going to graduate the same year as Lapis._

She hoped her girlfriend was out there, somewhere, watching her.

Grand, orchestral music began to play from behind. As rehearsed, the whole class stood up and sat back down again a few times. Peridot just went through the motions. She was too preoccupied with Lapis on her mind. Friends and relatives of her class were being squished onto the bleachers now. Did she ever find a seat? The anxious girl glanced at her phone. No texts either.

Jasper, way down the row, looked serious and stoic. She always was when she wanted to be. Amethyst on the other hand, who was sitting on the other side of the gym, had a huge smile on her face. Her expression showed she could hardly control her excitement.

The ceremony itself went by rather swiftly. At least that’s how it seemed to Peridot. When it was time for her row to stand and line up for the stage, even then she remembered little of it. The announcer recited her full name, “Peridot Olivine Diamond,” as well as her grade point average honor. Accepting her diploma book and the president’s hand, she looked into the camera and forced a smile, despite that her heart stopped from anticipation.

Skipping down the stage steps, she copied every other now-graduate with having the “I just graduated” celebratory photo. She probably would not order prints when the envelope came to her door.

Adjusting her robe while sitting back down, she opened up her graduation book, expecting to see an official diploma with her full name. Instead was a measly paper, stating that her diploma would come in the mail by a certain date, depending if there were any payments she needed to make. _Damn it, you think they would have required this beforehand,_ Peridot thought.

She slid the book under her chair, on the rest of her “you did it” collateral.

The orchestra played one more song, after every person received their fake diplomas. The president said a few final words, again to still play up the excitement of the occasion. When he finished, everyone in the auditorium cheered, and the now grads threw their caps into the air. Peridot did a small throw, not very interested in losing it. Her cap was part of the proof that she did it.

She did it, gotten her degree in computer engineering, despite her mom not wanting her to leave. Even though this last year especially was rough, she made it though. She and Lapis did, together, along with help from their friends.

Now Peridot had a better idea of what family meant to her.

Once they officially released the class, Peridot raced out as fast as she could, with Amethyst and Jasper barely able to keep up. There were too many people here to squeeze past.

Peridot asked her girlfriend to meet her outside the gym, if it was not too packet. Lapis texted her back at the very end of the ceremony, saying she was already outside, and that it was impossible to find seating. Luckily they had the ceremony playing on a giant screen for the overflow.

The doors were finally past her, and a gush of fresh air came over her. Sighing up relief, it was starting to get very hot inside. Frantically, Peridot looked around the entrance. _Where was she?_

Running a bit farther out onto the grassy lawn, she turned a full circle. All around her were grads starting to hug relatives, and take selfies with friends. Without her girlfriend the feeling was disorienting.  

“Peri!”

Without even thinking who the voice was from, Peridot already knew and was jumping into their arms.

“You did it!” Lapis cupped her girlfriend’s cheek, and she leaned in. “I’m so happy for you right now, I can’t even describe it. Seeing you on the stage and looking into the camera, I thought I was going to tear up.”

“We did it, together,” Peridot pulled her in for the tightest hug in her life. “I just can’t wait to see you next year on that same stage.”

 Could Lapis feel her heart pounding?

“Me neither,” closing her eyes, Lapis was about to become lost in Peridot’s arms. “My beautiful Peridot.”

It was now or never. It was probably too soon, too public, too rushed. But if she did not ask, she would never find out.

“Lapis,” the blonde’s small voice quivered sounding her name. All hope in sounding confident was gone, and replaced by nervousness.

So much so, she fell on both knees instead of one.

Instantly, Lapis put a hand over her mouth.

The whole spiel Peridot concocted in her head was completely erased, replaced by the glow on her girlfriend’s face. So she just blurted out what was on her mind.

“I never knew what true family was, not until I knew you. From the first moment we met, you revealed who you really were; someone who is caring, and thoughtful, and kind. That’s what made me fall for you since the very beginning, still to this day, and forever after,” from her right pocket, Peridot pulled out the opal and lapis lazuli ring. “I love you, and want to grow with you forever.”

Lapis said nothing, instead she tucked her hand in her jean pocket. _Say something._

 _Wait, was she shaking?_ Peridot had never seen her girlfriend like that before. Lapis’ deep violet eyes were watering up. They were both breathing at the same pace.

_Please, anything._

All of a sudden, Lapis copied Peridot, falling on both knees.

“Peridot,” she choked out through her tears. “The reason I was gone this morning…” Her words trailed off and her head tilted down, indicating for Peridot to look at what was in her hands. “I was picking this up.” Her slim fingertips held the most beautiful ring Peridot had ever seen.

It was made with rose gold, with the main round stone being pink-ish. Morganite actually, Peridot found out later. Small diamonds encircled it, while trailing off into the leaf shapes.

How did she not know Lapis was planning this? Did Peridot give her own plans away? Did the others know? Perhaps it did not matter, even though Peridot soon learned Garnet was in on it all along.

“I was worried this whole time I might have been rushing things,” Lapis joked, letting a tear spill. “I love you too Peridot, with my whole heart. Let’s share the rest of our lives together.”

They took turns sliding the rings on each other’s fingers. The moment was completely unreal, yet everything made sense.

They did not even process the crowd clapping around for them. Amethyst was hugging Jasper tightly, Garnet appeared downright proud, and both Lars and Sadie yelled to root on the two girls. Blue Pearl was clapping along as well, who admitted she helped Lapis with the ring. It was just them.

Lapis’ eyes never looked so blue until now.

“Where do we go from here?” Peridot moved closer to Lapis’ lips, overwhelmed with joy.

“Well, wherever it is, let’s go together.” Lapis closed the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ring Lapis gave to Peridot was inspired by this:
> 
> https://www.etsy.com/listing/229725855/morganite-ring-rose-gold-art-deco-ring?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=engagement%20ring%20vintage%20unique&ref=sc_gallery_6&plkey=567cc8dedac535a91bc42049d15d5b0344bd7f7e:229725855


	35. A New Beginning (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot and Lapis go on their honeymoon.

The overhead flight attendant buzzed over the intercom, “We are now arriving in the Eastern Capital of Xanadu. We hope you have a wonderful trip.”

Lapis lifted her head from the seat, and shook Peridot awake. “Good morning Peri, we’re here,” her voice full of nurturing warmth.

Initially the blonde felt disoriented waking up in a place which was not her own bed. Rubbing her eyes awake, she remembered last night going through security and boarding the plane with her now wife.

_Now wife._

The thought still made her heart race.

It never ever got old waking up to the smell of plumerias either.

Once the passengers started walking off the plane, Peridot helped Lapis with getting to her carry on. They each checked in a bag as well, so they would have to wait around a bit longer for their luggage.

They waited a month after Lapis’ graduation to get married. Because of the way she scheduled her classes, she was able to graduate a semester early. Not working a job also sped up the process as well. Ultimately their wedding was not grandiose in any extravagant way. Rather it was small and intimate, and they invited their closest friends. They held the ceremony on the pier of the beach, where they went on their first date. It could not have been any more perfect to either of them.

It was a month after their wedding, and they were finally going on their honeymoon. Peridot surprised Lapis with buying tickets to Xanadu, a country Lapis had always dreamed of visiting. Now they were about to take their first steps in the country. Peridot was amazed that she could be on the other side of the globe, yet strangely feel so close to home.

Once they boarded off the plane and searched for a hotel, Peridot changed her mind once she was hit with culture shock. She was not expecting it to be like this, and never imagined the world could operate so differently.

But it also inspired her.

“When your eyes sparkle like that, your whole face shines,” Lapis whispered to Peridot after they grabbed their luggage and found a taxi.

Peridot blushed, which only made Lapis smile even more.

The cab took them near the shopping district, to the hotel they planned on staying at for the first couple nights. For the remainder of their time, they agreed upon staying in hostels, which neither one was opposed to at all.

Everything was different; the lights, the language, the people. Peridot was enthralled by everything, even the smaller details.

Tomorrow she and Lapis would officially start their new adventure, after they planned out the next two weeks.

At their hotel room, the planning process was a bit confusing but a whole lot of fun. After spending half the day scheduling, they decided to go out to eat, and simply walk around the city to become familiar with their surroundings.

Even the sidewalks and buildings were different, narrower. Perfect for her size. It was much colder than Beach City, so much so that they had to wear several layers to warm up. Cars drove on the other side of the road, but more people seemed to walk than drive anyway. They also seemed a lot happier than the people from Beach City.

Lapis entwined her fingers in Peridot’s hand, as they walked along the main, famous strip of the shopping district. Soaking everything in and enjoying the moment, they strolled in silence, both wearing smiles. Peridot knew just being here meant the world to her wife. Lapis did not have to say anything for her to know that.

It was a whole new experience, traveling with the girl she loved.

They took their first honeymoon picture together with the tall shopping and retail buildings in the background. As soon as they had WiFi back at the hotel, they posted it on Lapis’ social media.

At night, the city transformed to a whole new place. Luckily, their hotel room was on the twentieth floor, and had its own deck. At least for the first few days they would travel luxuriously, Peridot decided. The city below sparkled and flashed all sorts of colors, and created contrast and silhouettes of the buildings. It was the same mesmerizing feeling as watching a candle flame flicker.

Peridot stood, at the edge of the deck, leaning on the rail. The color of her green eyes turned brighter from the lights and reflections. She wore a typical button down shirt, skinny jeans, and tucked her glasses into her shirt, replacing them with contacts.

“Hmm beautiful,” Lapis came up to hug the shorter girl from behind. Instead of flinching, Peridot melted into her embrace, and cradled her wife’s cheek.

In that moment, they both expressed “I love you.” It did not need to be said in words for them to know. Every movement, every gesture, like poetry, meant it; from the way Lapis kissed down Peridot’s neck, to how Peridot brushed away Lapis’ blue hair from her face.

Love. It was so much more powerful than words. From the first time they met, they expressed it. From the very beginning, they fell in love.


	36. Author's Thank You Note

To whomever read this story,

 

First to Fall almost never happened. Starting First to Fall, I thought it was only going to be ten or so chapters. Now, 35 chapters later, this is my longest fiction yet.

Many of the events that take place are fictional, based off of wishes and dreams I had with previous relationships. Some events were a spin-off of my own memories, which I cherish and think of often.

What the characters went through were their own unique struggles. However during certain parts of the story, I did include fragments of my own hardships, though not exactly the same. Writing was a way for me to express what I’ve bottled up these past years.

I see a lot of Peridot in myself, yet she is also a much different character than me. But it was familiar and somewhat comfortable to describe everything from her point of view.

Lapis’ character is inspired by many different people who have come and gone through my life.

And of course, all the character’s personalities, traits, and quirks are based (I guess somewhat loosely) from the Steven Universe cartoon.

Thank you to anyone who has liked, commented, or just decided to read this story. It means so much as a writer that this story has received any sort of attention at all. I can’t say thank you enough.

 

To all my readers and supporters, have a wonderful upcoming year!

dontmindthedinosaur

 

PS. I am in the works of planning a spin off story from Pearl’s point of view. Five chapters or so. It will likely happen this next year.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I need to add any more tags. I want to be sensitive to you guys, since this story will probably have some darker themes. Thanks, and comment or 'kudos' if you like it! It really encourages me, and often gives me great insight while writing the story.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr, if you feel inclined: dontmindthedinosaur.tumblr.com


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